Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February

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February 21

Step by Step

Today: “Keep It Sweet and Simple!” In the end, the complexities and sometimes grueling work of the Twelve Steps come down to a cardinal action: if I do not want to deal with the shakes through the day and the oblivion of drunkenness; if I do not want to deal with guilt, remorse, shame and self-degradation; if I do not want the numbing pain of letting down myself and anyone who has stood with me through the worst of my drinking days and the best of my recovery; if I do not want to devote any part of the day and night with my head in a toilet throwing up and with the dry heaves; if I don’t want to take bed sheets to the laundromat for an unplanned wash because they got soaked by my own vomit; if I don’t want to risk getting nailed for drunk driving and the subsequent court-ordered fines and fees, alcohol classes and triple car insurance rates; if I want to continue to progress in recovery and sobriety; if I want to nurture the re-established relationships that were previously broken and responsibilities that went neglected because of drinking; if I want to keep clear of self-pity, anger, confusion, and anguish; if I want to claim honestly that I am sober today; today, I won’t drink. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE SIXTH PROMISE

We shall lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.

~ Big Book ~

We came into the Program as experts in dishonesty, deceit, envy, and self-pity. Selfishness was an emotion that fitted us well. We were shameless in the ways we found useful in taking advantage of other people. The victims of our selfishness most often were those who loved us and tried to help us.

Our self-importance was based on unreality and was the effect of addicted behaviour. We engaged in far out thinking that reached the heights of fantasy. Our selfishness and self-centeredness developed within all of us a sick ego that turned into a powerhouse of grandiosity. The arrogance of an ego-driven addict was a drawback to willingness. In such a state of being, only miracles could help us.

In my addiction, my selfishness made me a “me first” person. In recovery, I am interested in the well-being of others. This has caused my self-interest to disappear.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.

~ William Arthur Ward ~

We could never have arrived at this point in our lives without the help of a lot of other people. It has been said that we stand on the shoulders of all those who have gone before us. But we also benefited from many people in our lives who were kind, who believed in us when we didn’t believe very strongly in ourselves—and from the anonymous multitude of men and women who shone a light on the path to recovery. Sometimes we know within our hearts that someone made a big difference to us, but it is hard to admit it to that person. We may even develop a grudging attitude toward people who have helped us because we are stingy about giving them any credit.

The surprising thing about gratitude is that the more we express it, the larger it grows. As grown men, we all have a mountain of things and people to be thankful for. If we don’t express gratitude, our withholding diminishes us. The more we say it and give it away, the bigger and stronger we feel.

Today I will thank someone who has helped me.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

Practiced consistently, new habits become who I am.

~ Lin Andrukat ~

We sometimes have trouble defining ourselves. Anyone who spends much time in our presence, however, can define us pretty accurately. Our habits tell our “story” quite readily.

Many of our behaviors embarrass us, yet we repeat them. But changing them takes more than wishing they’d disappear. It takes a decision not to repeat them and the thoughtfulness to find a replacement for them. We return to old behaviors more out of laziness than intent.

Those of us in a Twelve Step program have the tools to make this shift in our behavior easier. Doing a Fourth Step to look at the past, and frequent Tenth Steps to stay on top of today, gives us the insight to define who we are and who we’d rather be. Changing who we are isn’t that difficult if we have the desire.

Any current behavior used to be “new.” It became a habit only with continuous use. I can decide to begin a new behavior today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I need time to change

Getting into recovery, it was hard enough to admit my emotional illness and my addiction to chemicals. For some time after, I could hardly see my character defects, let alone admit to them.

Having done a Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Step, I feel willing—no, eager—to let go of my shortcomings. But as much as I want to change now, I can’t just say “Change!” and be changed. My addiction has taught me that change requires time, patience, and the help of my higher power. As I continue to work the program, I need to be aware of my shortcomings and allow them to be removed by my higher power when the time is right.

Today I will pray for patience and self-acceptance.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

The mental obsession begins to interfere with one’s work, home life, social activities, and spirituality.

~ Joan Ebbitt ~

One of addiction’s most destructive aspects is the binge, whether it be with alcohol, other drugs, food, sex, or gambling.

A lot of times we’ll swear it’s the last one, but it never is. A day or two or a week or two later we binge again. It satisfies a deep need that willpower alone cannot appease, and announces to any who would hear that this is an addiction. If we add up the binges we can see the disease process. Over years and years and years.

The next time these feelings start, we can call our sponsor, go to a meeting, and talk about how it feels. Reaching out enables us to move through feelings without bingeing. It’s not an easy thing to talk about, but the relief we get once the urge has passed makes it all worth it. For that we can be grateful.

Today let me use the tools I’ve acquired to avoid a binge.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.

~ Conan O’Brien ~

It has been said, “The true spirit of conversation consists in building on another man’s observation, not overturning it.” In fact, the word dialogue means talking between two sides. A dialogue includes an exchange of thoughts, opinions, and feelings. It means expressing yourself but also hearing what others have to say. It means opening your mind and absorbing the words of others.

Thinking only of your pleasure, considering only your own needs, and talking over the conversations of others are not components of good communication. Freedom of speech does not give you the license to say anything you want whenever you want, just because you feel like it. Communication with others requires responsible use.

One of the most important tools in recovery is listening—not just to others, but also to your Higher Power. It means opening both your ears and your heart to under-stand what others are going through. It means listening with attentiveness rather than framing what you are going to say. It means letting someone speak fully, without interruption. And it means communicating through prayer— but then listening to the guidance of your Higher Power.

Today I will think and listen before I speak.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

The twilight, in fact, had several stages, and several times after it had grown dusky, acquired a new transparency, and the trees on the hillsides were lit up again.

~ Henry David Thoreau ~

There are small candles of light we can bring into our lives to take away some of the darkness. These are the candles of the program—soft, warm lights given to us each time we open our faith and trust to the fellowship.

There is the candle we can take home from a meeting, kindled by the caring and sharing of those around us. There is the candle given to us by our sponsors and friends, which burns brighter each time we ask for help. And there is the candle given to us by our Higher Power—an eternal light reflecting strength, hope, and salvation.

It’s true that it’s darkest before the dawn, but we have countless candles to brighten our night.

How can these candles help me through the night?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Becoming free

Many of us have said, “I want the freedom to be who I am.” Do we realize, however, that our freedom is only as broad as the freedom we grant others? The more we let someone else be who he or she is, the more freedom we have to be ourselves.

Other people—people who are different from us—are mirrors for us. They can help us see what we’re doing well or poorly; but more than that, they can be models for us and show us the way.

Am I becoming free?

Higher Power, help me learn the valuable lessons of diversity.

I will work on freedom today by acknowledging the differences between myself and (name two people)

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Living entirely turned in on oneself is like trying to play on a violin with slackened strings.

~ JACQUES LUSSEYRAN ~

Newcomer

I went to a meeting today feeling angry, rebellious, and bored. I hated sitting there, and I hardly listened. It was the round-robin kind of meeting where the discussion goes from person to person: you get to share without raising your hand. When it was my turn, I said how resentful and different I felt, how I hated everything about the program and didn’t think it could help me. People nodded, some laughed, and the speaker said, “We’ve all been there.” I felt relieved. Often, I don’t start feeling okay until almost the end of a meeting. I wish I didn’t have to keep going through this.

Sponsor

As an addicted person, I have a special talent for letting negative thoughts and feelings take over. It’s as if my mind were a balloon filled with heavy, dark stuff; left to my own devices, I keep blowing it bigger, filling it with more of the same. It takes another person, someone who lives outside of my mind, to prick the balloon and let my tired old thoughts escape. Suddenly, reality looks completely different. That’s one reason to get to some small meetings where we’re more likely to have a chance to share. And it’s always a good idea to stay through a whole meeting; in an hour, things can change! I’ve noticed that even when I share my most unacceptable feelings, people in recovery don’t reject me; when I tell the worst about myself; they listen and laugh. I love the laughter in meetings; it reminds me of how lucky we are to be alive again.

Today, it’s safe for me to risk getting close to other human beings by sharing honestly.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The effectiveness of AA is largely built upon understanding and human sympathy. These characteristics were not acquired from a book but learned the hard way as we, too, traveled the long dark alley of despair in search of a helping hand and an understanding heart.

Creeds and ideologies are for preachers and students to debate and reason, but our doctrine of love and understanding has nothing to do with reason; frequently it is contrary to reason, as it comes from the heart and not the head.

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~ WALK SOFTLY AND CARRY A BIG BOOK ~ (Official & Unofficial Sloganeering From the 12 Step Programs) ~

1) GOD: Get Out Devil

2) How you respond is your responsibility.

3) Whatever you are trying to avoid, we won’t go away until you confront it.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

Sailor’s Prayer

Dear God, be good to me. The sea is so wide, and my boat is so small.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

QUARANTINE YOUR TROUBLES

When you are praying or “treating” about a particular thing, you should handle it, mentally, very carefully indeed. The ideal way is not to think about it at all except when you are actually praying about it. Moreover, to talk to the other people about it is exceedingly likely to invite failure.

When a new problem presents itself to you, decline to consider it except in the light of Truth. I call this “putting a subject in quarantine.” Even an old long-standing problem can be “put in quarantine” today, if you mean business and will resolutely break the habit of constantly thinking over that problem.

Whenever you think about any subject, you are treating it with your thought- either for good or evil.

The lip of truth shall be established for ever . . . (Proverbs 12:19)

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

Shake Up, Wake Up

We turn to God for help when our foundation is shaking, only to recognize that it is God who is shaking it.

~ Charles Weston ~

In Bali I observed a cremation procession. The body of the de-ceased was placed on top of a high ornate wooden tower called a “horse.” Every few minutes along the way to the cremation ground, the pallbearers broke into shouts of glee and laughter and twirled the horse, with the body fastened to its apex, in circles. When I asked a local fellow about the purpose of this ritual, he explained that the pallbearers spun the bier to confuse the deceased’s spirit so it could not find its way back to the body, and thus hasten the soul on its journey to the next life.

From time to time, life shakes us up, twirling or even destroying the foundation we’ve built. Such an experience can be quite disorienting—and it is supposed to be. The purpose of change beyond our control is to shake us up so we must hasten in a new direction.

Like the soul that has left the body of the deceased, we may not be able to find our way back to our past base. But the past is dead, and there is no reason to return. We are free to move on to discover a new life in a new world. Upheaval is a gift of love. When it comes, ask to see the blessing in what you’re being forced to release, to make way for something new and better.

Help me let go gracefully so I can be open to richer blessings.

I accept change as a gift. I move from good to better to best.