Even More Recovery Readings and Meditations - February

[bluidkiti]

February 19

Step by Step

Today, begin the process of reconciling emotional, spiritual and mental defects to the program – even if I am not either willing or able yet to hand them off to my higher power. Reconciliation, needed so I see that I must let go of what holds me back, requires that I understand that recovery is more than not drinking and requires a fundamental change in my entire character. And abstinence alone, were it that easy, cannot achieve that change. It requires a brutally honest Fourth to find my defects and a 10th to understand why and how they impede what I could be in sobriety – but am not yet. In reconciling myself to my defects of character, I may finally be able to say they have no purpose in where I hope to go in recovery, that they harbor a hidden spark to ignite a slip or relapse and, more important, that I want to be done with them once and for all. If the defects I found in the Fourth remain in my 10th and I know it is time to let them go, today, I seek the courage to change what I can – myself. And our common journey continues. Step by step. – Chris M.

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~ EASY DOES IT ~ (A Book of Daily 12 Step Meditations) ~

THE FOURTH PROMISE

No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.

~ Big Book ~

What excitement comes to us when we discover that we are not useless human beings! When we drank or used, we thought we were doomed to be incompetent, unworthy, and useless persons. No more!

Our escape from the depths of despair makes us feel needed and trusted. Others listen to our stories of how we were, what happened, and what we are today. They cry out, “That’s me. I was that way. I did all those same things.”

We come to know we deserve that trust, that companionship, that acceptance. We are worthy human beings. We can help others experience miracles. When we tell of our degrading existence with alcohol and drugs, we are useful and important to those who listen. Our negative experiences become positive forces in helping others find the road to recovery.

Recovery brings me the realization that I can become a helpful person by sharing those very experiences that made me feel worthless.

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~ WISDOM TO KNOW ~ (More Daily Meditations For Men) ~

Take your work seriously but yourself lightly.

~ C. W. Metcalf ~

As we found comfort in our addiction and codependency, we created great problems and chaos in our lives. We come into recovery with a sense of relief that we are no longer living from crisis to crisis, but we still have to deal with our persistent longing for control and security. Many of us get drawn into the same search for comfort by overindulging in work. Work can become another addictive escape from developing as spiritual men with deep emotional lives.

Perhaps a long-standing insecurity about our place at work keeps us working longer hours than necessary, taking few vacations, or even working seven days a week. Perhaps a deep feeling of guilt and shame drives us into unending work, as if we could redeem ourselves by working harder and longer. No matter how virtuous or successful we are at work, it will only cover these underlying fears, never resolve them. Only by facing our insecurities and guilts directly will we ever grow spiritually.

Today I will take time to play, to spend time in my relationships, and perhaps just to loaf.

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~ A WOMAN’S SPIRIT ~ (More Meditations For Women) ~

I have come to realize that all of my fears are false gods before me.

~ Mary Casey ~

Some days are free of fear: they flow smoothly with not a single "tremor." What's different on those days? Without realizing it, we probably left God's work to God. Fears generally surface when we get too personally invested in the outcomes of situations and in the actions of people we care about. We get confused and think our well-being is dependent on them and what they do rather than on God.

Fear about anything is the same as denying God's presence in our lives. It's not easy to shake the fear from our minds once we have given in to it, but we can if we follow the suggestions of this program. Most of us have come to believe in a Higher Power. Remembering to rely on that Power, letting it take charge of our lives and will, is our most positive option.

Any fear I have today is of my choosing. Dwelling on God rather than on the fear will change every experience I have today.

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~ TODAY I WILL DO ONE THING ~ (Daily Readings for Awareness and Hope) ~

I have some liabilities and weaknesses

I am valuable and lovable. I have much to offer. But as a person in recovery from addiction and psychiatric illness, I am figuring out that some aspects of my personality need work.

To learn which parts need work, I must examine how I think and how I behave. It will help if I take a careful look at how I make it harder for myself to recover—that is, if I look at my liabilities and weaknesses. It is not easy or pleasant to face these parts of me, let alone consider changing them. But recovery—in other words, slowly making changes in my life— is the most important work I need to do right now.

I will write down two ways I think, or two ways I behave, that can make it harder for me to stay in recovery.

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~ BODY, MIND, AND SPIRIT ~ (Inspiration and Support for Recovery) ~

It is impossible to feel grateful and depressed in the same moment.

~ Naomi Williams ~

Thank you, thank you, thank you! There never seem to be enough thank yous to express the gratitude we feel in our hearts.

The miracle of our recovery is a source of continuing appreciation and thankfulness. How lucky we are to have been chosen to receive the gifts of sobriety and abstinence.

We may feel especially grateful to be witnessing the miracles of change in the lives of others who work the Twelve Steps of recovery. What a privilege to watch another move from despair to hope and serenity. Again and again we see others get better, sober up, and help still others get sober.

We are all part of a healing chain that stretches around the world, from hand to hand and heart to heart. Gratitude is the glue. It wells up inside us and shines out to others as a candle of hope and possibility.

Today let me accept and express gratitude as the basic fuel of my recovery.

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~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a life.

~ Arthur Ashe ~

Did you ever consider that you can effect positive change in others? Because you are in a program of recovery, you have firsthand knowledge about the dangers and downfalls of drugs and alcohol. Because you admitted you were powerless over your addiction, you have an en-lightening experience to share with those still trapped in lives focused on drinking and drugging. Your story can be inspirational and eye-opening to others.

You have much to contribute to your community, charities, churches, and to others in recovery. Volunteer work—whether at your favorite meetings, in local organizations, or in more far-reaching causes—can strengthen your recovery as it provides hope and help to others.

Start by volunteering to make coffee at a meeting or clean up afterward. As you grow and strengthen in recovery, volunteer to speak at a local high school on the topic of recovery, deliver lunches and dinners to those who are homebound, or read stories to children at your local library. When you see yourself as a valuable resource with much to contribute for the good of others, you may be pleasantly surprised at the energy, compassion, and expertise you have to give.

Today I am ready to extend a helping hand to others.

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~ NIGHT LIGHT ~ (A Book Of Nighttime Meditations) ~

Reputation is what you have when you come to a new community; character is what you have when you go away.

~ William Hersey Davis ~

All of us in the program have a reputation. We are the children or spouses of alcoholics, or are alcoholics or addicts ourselves. But even though we may introduce ourselves at meetings by our reputations, that in no way reflects upon our character—who we are as people.

As people begin to know us, they learn how we think, what we feel, why we do what we do, what we like or dislike. These things make up character. When we refer to someone as "quite a character," we are referring to a unique personality, a person who stands taller than a reputation.

Do we show others our reputation or our character? Sometimes it's easier to hide behind the walls of a reputation by being snobbish, silent, or sarcastic. Yet it's our character that is far more important. Our character allows us to be who we are and lets us show how we feel. Reputation can make someone look at us, but character can make someone look twice and notice us.

How can I show my character instead of my reputation?

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~ DAY BY DAY ~ (Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts) ~

Practicing HALT

The acronym HALT means never get too Hungry, too Angry, too Lonely, or too Tired. Each of these conditions can fog our minds so that we lose sight of our purpose—abstinence and recovery—and have a slip.

If we can become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, we will avoid some pain and some slips, HALT is a good slogan to keep in mind.

Do I practice HALT?

Higher Power, help me slow down and become more self-aware.

Today when I feel myself getting hungry, angry, lonely, or tired, I will

God help me to stay clean and sober today!

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~ IF YOU WANT WHAT WE HAVE ~ (Sponsorship Meditations) ~

Faith needs her daily bread.

~ DINAH CRAIK ~

Newcomer

I still don't feel very serene when I wake up in the morning. I start worrying as soon as I'm awake, usually about someone I'm afraid of or have a resentment against. I guess I'm having trouble staying in the present.

Sponsor

You're not alone in what you're experiencing. Some of us describe morning anxiety as "the committee in my head" or "the disease." I've heard people in early recovery say, "My disease gets up before I do; it's already sitting at the foot of my bed when I open my eyes."

Some of us make a program phone call first thing in the morning; even a few minutes' talk with another recovering person can help put our morning fears in perspective and help us face the day with lightness. This works both ways: both the caller and the person called are nourished by the contact.

While we're still in bed, we can gently stretch our bodies any way that feels comfortable, then take several slow, deep, complete breaths. We can begin our day by reading and meditating on a page of program literature or other spiritual literature that appeals to us. And we can spend a few moments in prayer. For many years now, I've begun my day offering thanks for the day and for all the days that have led to it. I turn over anything that worries me, affirming that my Higher Power will show me how to handle whatever the day offers.

Today, I center myself in prayer.

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~ THE EYE OPENER ~

The AA way of living holds out, for all that will grasp it, everything that is advantageous to life. A healthy mind, a healthy body, a healthy soul. Complete harmony with God, your fellow man and yourself. Truly the peace that passeth all understanding.

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~ The 12 STEP PRAYER BOOK ~ (A Collection of Favorite 12 Step Prayers and Inspirational Readings) ~

The Universal Prayer

Eternal Reality,
You are everywhere.
You are infinite unity, truth, and love;
You permeate our souls,
Every corner of the universe, and beyond.

To some of us, You are father, friend, or partner.
To others, Higher Power, Higher Self, or Inner Self.
To many of us, You are all these and more.
You are within us and we within You.

We know You forgive our trespasses
If we forgive ourselves and others.
We know You protect us from destructive temptation
If we continue to seek Your help and guidance.
We know You provide us food and shelter today
If we but place our trust in You and try to do our best.
Give us this day knowledge of Your will for us and
the power to carry it out.
For Yours, is infinite power and love,
Forever.

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~ AROUND THE YEAR WITH EMMET FOX ~ (A Book of Daily Readings) ~

THINE THE GLORY

Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever (Matthew 6:13).

This is a wonderful gnomic saying summing up the essential truth of the Omnipresence and the Allness of God.

We know that God is the only power, and so, when we work it is really God working by means of us. Just as the pianist produces his music by means of, or through his fingers, so may mankind be thought of as the fingers of God. His is the Power. If, when you have anything to do, you hold the thought, “Divine Intelligence is working through me now,” you will perform the most difficult tasks.

The wondrous change that comes over us as we gradually realize what the Omnipresence of God really means, transfigures every phrase of our lives, turning sorrow into joy, age into youth, and dullness into the light and life. This is the glory!

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~ A DEEP BREATH OF LIFE ~ (365 Daily Inspirations for Heart-Centered Living) ~

How Big Is Your Basket?

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of Lights.

~ James 1:17 ~

While I was leading a group meditation, I had a mystical vision. Above the group, I saw a vast reservoir of golden light, as if there was no ceiling on the room. I beheld an infinite heaven beaming down a luminous rain of blessings upon the group. Then I saw each person in the room sitting with a basket in their lap, catching the gifts of light from above. Each basket was a different size; some were small, and others were large. Although an infinite volume of blessings was streaming down, each person was able to catch gifts in accordance with the size of their basket. Those with large baskets caught many blessings, while those with small baskets caught only some.

A great reservoir of abundance is offered to each of us; how much we shall enjoy it is determined by how much we are open to receive. The gifts of God are like a vast immeasurable ocean. You can go to the ocean with a thimble, a cup, a bucket, or a tanker, and you will come away with a volume of gifts relative to the size of the vessel you bring.

How big is your basket? Are you allowing all the good that is offered you to be manifested? You may have a huge tank of water with which to water your garden, but if you’re standing on the hose, you will see only a small dribble.

Get off the hose by saying “yes” to good when it comes. Find a way to turn negative experiences into gifts, and you will discover that they are good. Practice increasing your receptivity, and you will prove that our Source is infinite.

Help me deepen my receptivity to Your love. I pray to be open to all You give.

I am open to receiving the fullest abundance that life has to offer.