I'm Still in my Recovery

[RickyWard]

I am Ricky Ward from LA and I am Alcoholic man. I got alcoholic after my Dad died last year. I have a broken family and I'm an only child. I don't really know what may happen to me but it seems like I love myself now. Alcohol makes me happy. I felt like I am on a different world. When my father died last year, I now fully understood why he had to drink much. After my parents broke up, my dad told me that alcohol was his medicine to cure his depression on their separation. Today, since I am on my own, with no parents to approach, I saw alcohol as my crying shoulder. I don't know why. It’s just that, I love it. I am living on my own now. I'm getting tired of this life. Last night, I tried not to touch any of my substances, and I succeeded. I feel uncomfortable but I just closed my eyes and locked my door. All I know in the next morning was thirst. I'm thirsty. I mouth is dry. Do you know what was happening to me?

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for sharing Rick. From what I hear from your words, your body was reacting and wanting you to use more.

Detox is not a pleasant experience. It was one of the reasons that I never picked up after getting clean and sober, I never wanted to experience it again.

We have a disease, that tells us we don't have it and this time it will be different. It not only gets different, it gets worse.

My disease is an allergy of the body and an obsession of my mind, that takes over and leaves the true inner me behind.

They say we can't crave it unless we pick it up and ingest it in some form, it is generally mistaken for the total obsession of our mind that says we can't live without it. In my case it got better, the worse day in recovery is so much better than the days of my using, especially for the last 10 years.

We don't quit for ever, take your mind and stay in today. Don't look at the whole picture and start with the what if's and the would have, could have, should haves. It is one day's experiences, thoughts, actions, feelings, etc. As they day yesterday is old news, we can't change it. The future hasn't got here yet and tomorrow never comes. All we have is today, sometimes it is moment by moment. My sponsor always said for her it was 3 seconds.

[RickyWard]

Originally Posted by MajestyJo

Thanks for sharing Rick. From what I hear from your words, your body was reacting and wanting you to use more.

Detox is not a pleasant experience. It was one of the reasons that I never picked up after getting clean and sober, I never wanted to experience it again.

We have a disease, that tells us we don't have it and this time it will be different. It not only gets different, it gets worse.

My disease is an allergy of the body and an obsession of my mind, that takes over and leaves the true inner me behind.

They say we can't crave it unless we pick it up and ingest it in some form, it is generally mistaken for the total obsession of our mind that says we can't live without it. In my case it got better, the worse day in recovery is so much better than the days of my using, especially for the last 10 years.

We don't quit for ever, take your mind and stay in today. Don't look at the whole picture and start with the what if's and the would have, could have, should haves. It is one day's experiences, thoughts, actions, feelings, etc. As they day yesterday is old news, we can't change it. The future hasn't got here yet and tomorrow never comes. All we have is today, sometimes it is moment by moment. My sponsor always said for her it was 3 seconds.

hello majestyjo. I'm experiencing body reaction and heart palpitations now. It makes me crazy any suggestion?

[carol]

Hi Ricky,

I'm so glad you are reaching out. You are most-likely experiencing post acute withdrawal syndrome, which can last up to a year after you stop drinking and/or using. Some good things to do to help you feel better: exercise, candy for when you get cravings, hot showers, lots of sleep/rest, meetings, and prayer.

Good luck to you, keep us updated!

[RickyWard]

Originally Posted by carol

Hi Ricky,

I'm so glad you are reaching out. You are most-likely experiencing post acute withdrawal syndrome, which can last up to a year after you stop drinking and/or using. Some good things to do to help you feel better: exercise, candy for when you get cravings, hot showers, lots of sleep/rest, meetings, and prayer.

Good luck to you, keep us updated!

hi carol. Thanks for your warm welcome and good suggestions. now i feel down because I stop my recovery and still continue drinking alcohol ... my heartbeat is so fast and I can't breath

[MajestyJo]

Welcome Carol, sounds good all but the candy. I am diabetic, and a lot of the no sugar pops and foods have more chemicals and are more harmful than the sugar. I try to stick to fruit, and if I have baked good, I try to get things with low sugar content. Alcohol has a big sugar content and many who quit find that they have a lot of ailments that they didn't know they had.

I had to change doctors and get honest. When I was told I couldn't have sugar, the addict in me rebelled, and I can still rebel and tell me a little bit won't hurt. LOL! Who heard tell of an alcoholic or an addict talking about a little bit. A little bit alcoholic just doesn't cut it, when it is the thinking behind the substance that is the issue.

Hope you will continue to come and share with us.

[MajestyJo]

Would suggest going to a doctor if you have one and he is not your dealer. I had to change doctors, but more importantly, I had to get honest with my doctor. They can't help us if we aren't up front with them. I told mine, "I am a recovering addict and I don't want to be put on any mind altering drug or narcotic."

If you don't have a doctor, do you have a clinic in your area.

The best suggestion I can make is go to a meeting. Share with others, a lot of it sounds like stress and anxiety. Prayer works along with the support of other who have been where you have been. It is normal and unless your doctor diagnoses you with clinical depression, the program works without a pill. A lot depends on your medical condition, don't let others play doctor, get your body checked out. If your doctor doesn't know about addiction, get some pamphlets to give to him.

One of the craziest things I heard in recovery was a doctor preforming an appendectomy in a black out and not remembering doing the surgery.

[RickyWard]

hi majestyjo Thanks for your kindness and good advice, suggestions. i called the rehab center http://substancerecoveryservices.com/ where I have been last month. i talk to one of their specialist and i told her that after i drink too much i can't breath well and my heartbeat in so fast. After an hour of talking with her and doing all the the things she told me my feeling now is slightly okay and still continuing my treatment.

[RickyWard]

I'm back lol

[MajestyJo]

One day at a time. Just for today, I choose not to use.

[yukonm]

Welcome back!!

[LookingOut]

Hi Ricky and welcome! I am also a recovering alcoholic. My father died from complications of the disease at age 69. My mom had to divorce him because his alcoholism progressed to the point that he would become crazy and violent. I am also an only child and I thought alcoholism would never happen to me.

There is a way out, though, and you are not alone. We care about you here. Definitely stay in touch with your doctor if you are experiencing problems.

Make sure you are eating a good, balanced diet, drinking plenty of water and you can take a daily vitamin and B-vitamins if your doctor agrees.

It will take a couple weeks, but you will begin sleeping better and feeling more normal. Try to get some exercise--that will help you sleep.

Don't stay alone and isolated! Call AA central office in your area, or look online for AA or Celebrate Recovery groups and start going to meetings. Your new best friends will be there!!!! They understand your problem first hand and will help you through.

Praying for you today! You can do this and life is so much better sober!!!!