I DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES ONCE...

[Ashley Ruth]

I make them about 5 or 6 times just to be sure...lol story of my life! I'm Ashley and I'm new to recovery ...well as of this year.lets see how long I last this time!😕😒 I'm a recovery heroin addict who's been in and out of rehabs fom 8 years now.you think I would of grasp this whole recovery thing by now.But nope. I'm struggling right now on the fact I just turned 27 and I'm still a chunky! I never wanted something so bad but can't seem to let all my other past attempts keep getting in the way and I scare myself so much about relapsing that i actually push myself to relapse! Stupid ain't it?! I know how dumb that sounds but every time I get clean I get my family back,a job,a home again and I don't want to lose it that I freak myself out and end up turning into a hermit.not going out with friends or even trying to meet new ppl I stop going to meetings and then I'm afraid to tell everyone I stopped going to meetings so I start isolating myself from my family and next thing I know my life is at a down ward spiral,getting more and more uncontrollable that before I know it I'm back to the same spot I swore I'd never let myself be at again! I hope this time is different and I'm trusting the Lord this time.I clearly can't manage my life so I'm finally giving it over to the Lord for once. I hope you all keep me in your prayers as I'm back at this journey to sobriety!