Asking for What We Need

[MajestyJo]

Friday, January 31, 2014

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Asking for What We Need

One evening, I was alone, weary, and exhausted. I was in the midst of extensive traveling, disconnected from friends and family. I had flown home for the evening, but it seemed like nobody noticed. People were used to me being gone.

It was late at night, and I began arguing with God.

"I'm out there working hard. I'm lonely. I need to know someone cares. You've told me to tell you what I need and tonight, God, I particularly need the presence of male energy. I need a friend, someone I can trust to care about me in a nonsexual, nonexploitive way. I need to be held. Now, where are you?"

I lay down on the couch and closed my eyes. I was too tired to do anything but let go.

The telephone rang minutes later. It was a former colleague who had since become my friend. "Hey, kid," he said. "You sound really tired and needy. Stay right where you are. I'm going to drive out and give you a foot rub. It sounds exactly like what you need."

Half an hour later, he knocked on my door. He brought a small bottle of oil with him, and gently massaged my feet, gave me a hug, told me how much he cared about me, then left.

I smiled. I had received exactly what I asked for.

It is safe to trust God.

Today, I will remember God cares about what I need, especially if I do.

For so many years I didn`t care. I would tell myself, `What difference does it make anyway? When I had problems with the swelling, not just the feet but my whole body, I would tell myself, what is the use, I am fat anyway. Other times I wouldn`t eat because I couldn`t see past the fat.

Today I try to make healthy choices, I am what I feed my body, mind and spirit.