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February 20
Daily Reflections THE GIFT OF LAUGHTER At this juncture, his A.A. sponsor usually laughs. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 26 Before my recovery from alcoholism began, laughter was one of the most painful sounds I knew. I never laughed and I felt that anyone else's laughter was directed at me! My self-pity and anger denied me the simplest of pleasures or lightness of heart. By the end of my drinking not even alcohol could provoke a drunken giggle in me. When my A.A. sponsor began to laugh and point out my self-pity and ego-feeding deceptions, I was annoyed and hurt, but it taught me to lighten up and focus on my recovery. I soon learned to laugh at myself and eventually I taught those I sponsor to laugh also. Every day I ask God to help me stop taking myself too seriously. ************************************************** ********* Twenty-Four Hours A Day A.A. Thought For The Day Liquor used to be my friend. I used to have a lot of fun drinking. Practically all the fun I had was connected with drinking. But the time came when liquor became my enemy. I don't know just when liquor turned against me and became my enemy, but I know it happened, because I began to get into trouble. And since I realize that liquor is now my enemy, my main business now is keeping sober. Making a living or keeping a house is no longer my main business. It's secondary to the business of keeping sober. Do I realize that my main business is keeping sober? Meditation For The Day I can depend on God to supply me with all the power I need to face any situation, provided that I will sincerely believe in that power and honestly ask for it, at the same time making all my life conform to what I believe God wants me to be. I can come to God as a business manager would come to the owner of the business, knowing that to lay the matter before Him means immediate cooperation, provided the matter has merit. Prayer For The Day I pray that I may believe that God is ready and willing to supply me with all that I need. I pray that I may ask only for faith and strength to meet any situation. ************************************************** ********* As Bill Sees It The Coming Of Faith, p. 51 In my own case, the foundation stone of freedom from fear is that of faith: a faith that, despite all worldly appearances to the contrary, causes me to believe that I live in a universe that makes sense. To me, this means a belief in a Creator who is all power, justice, and love; a God who intends for me a purpose, a meaning, and a destiny to grow, however little and haltingly, toward His own likeness and image. Before the coming of faith I had lived as an alien in a cosmos that too often seemed both hostile and cruel. In it there could be no inner security for me. << << << >> >> >> "When I was driven to my knees by alcohol, I was made ready to ask for the gift of faith. And all was changed. Never again, my pains and problems notwithstanding, would I experience my former desolation. I saw the universe to be lighted by God's love; I was alone no more." 1. Grapevine, January 1962 2. Letter, 1966 ************************************************** ********* Walk In Dry Places A day of Acceptance Releasing the Past "We will not regret the past nor fear the future," goes one of the promises in Twelve Step programs. Neither the past nor the future should control what we're thinking and doing today. After all, if our higher power is everything, no person or action can be outside of this supreme control. Today, I will rise above anything that was said or done in the past. I will also hold the idea that the future is bright with promise, and that this promise will be fulfilled. Nobody's opinion or criticism can be unsettling to me if my beliefs and self-worth are anchored in my Higher Power. It's true that there might have been lots of wreckage in the past…. Even more recently when we have been living sober. It doesn't matter. I amazing ways, our higher power sometimes turns negative conditions into future benefits. This was actually what happened when our compulsive condition led directly to a new way of life. I will accept life today and will look for unexpected blessings. No person or group can keep me from good as I accept God's direction in my life. "In all your ways acknowledge [God who] shall direct your paths." I'll remember this frequently as I go about the day. ************************************************** ********* Keep It Simple Let Go and Let God.---Twelve Step slogan Some days we might ask ourselves, Is it worth it? We feel alone. No one seems to care. Life seems hard. Recovery seems hard. This is when we need to slow down and take a look at what's going on. We're feeling this way because we're off our recovery path. We may be back into wanting people to see things our way. We want control. Remember, all problems are not our problems. All work is not our work. We can't have everything the way we want it. But we can do our part and let go of the rest. Than we can feel better. Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me remember my only work today is to do Your will for me. It is not my job to be You. Action for the Day: I'll talk with my sponsor or a program friend today. I'll talk about how to deal with things that seems to pull me down. ************************************************** ********* Each Day a New Beginning No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. --Agnes DeMille The day ahead offers us choices of many kinds--some big ones, many that will affect other persons close to us, a few that will have profound effects on our destiny. But no choice, no decision we make, will be wrong. A particular decision may lead us slightly astray. Down a dead-end path perhaps--but we can always turn back and choose again. We are seldom aware of the gravity of a particular choice at the time of making it. Only hindsight reveals the wisdom of an important choice. Nevertheless, no choice is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. And at the same time, no choice is all-powerful regarding our destiny. We are offered chances again and again for making the right choices, the ones that will most contribute to the bigger plan for our lives. I need not worry about today's opportunities for decision-making. I will listen to those around me. I will seek guidance in the messages coming to me. I will make the choices I need to, today. ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition MORE ABOUT ALCOHOLISM In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead or casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation of what the terrific consequences might be. p. 37 ************************************************** ********* Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition Stories The Man Who Mastered Fear He spent eighteen years in running away, and then found he didn't have to run. So he started A.A. in Detroit. The Depression was still on, and jobs were scarce. My health was still uncertain. So I created a job for myself selling women's hosiery and men's made-to-order shirts. This gave me the freedom to do A.A. work and to rest periods of two or three days when i became too exhausted too carry on. There was more than one occasion when I got up in the morning with just enough money for coffee and toast and the bus fare to carry me to my first appointment. No sale---no lunch. During that first year, however, I managed to make both ends meet and to avoid ever going back to my old habit-pattern of borrowing money when I could not earn it. Here by itself was a great step forward. pp. 253-254 ************************************************** ********* Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions Tradition Seven - "Every A.A. group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions." Then came the opposition. They pointed out that the Foundation board already knew of a total of half a million dollars set aside for A.A. in the wills of people still alive. Heaven only knew how much there was we hadn't heard about. If outside donations weren't declined, absolutely cut off, then the Foundation would one day become rich. Moreover, at the slightest intimation to the general public from our trustees that we needed money, we could become immensely rich. Compared to this prospect, the ten thousand dollars under consideration wasn't much, but like the alcoholic's first drink it would, if taken, inevitably set up a disastrous chain reaction. Where would that land us? Whoever pays the piper is apt to call the tune, and if the A.A. Foundation obtained money from outside sources, its trustees might be tempted to run things without reference to the wishes of A.A. as a while. Relieved of responsibility, every alcoholic would shrug and say, "Oh, the Foundation is wealthy--why should I bother?" The pressure of that fat treasury would surely tempt the board to invent all kinds of schemes to do good with such funds, and so divert A.A. from its primary purpose. The moment that happened, our Fellowship's confidence would be shaken. The board would be isolated, and would fall under heavy attack of criticism from both A.A. and the public. These were the possibilities, pro and con. pp. 164-165 ************************************************** ********* God, please help me let go of my expectations and accept the gifts that you give me each day, knowing that there is beauty and wonder in each act of life. --Melody Beattie "Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile." --Mother Theresa "Life has a way of creating roadblocks that end up as building blocks in our lives." --Doug Firebaugh "Turn your troubles into treasures. Learn from them and grow from them." --Mark Victor Hansen Teaching is the best way to learn. Leading by example is the best way to teach. ************************************************** ********* Father Leo's Daily Meditation CHRISTIANITY "Going to Church doesn't make you a Christian any more than going to the garage makes you a car." -- Laurence J. Peter I cannot help but believe that the truth of Christianity is about bringing the world and mankind together, rather than creating divisions and resentments. It must be much bigger than what we do or say in any building. Christ's truth seeks to discover God in the splendor of His varied world. In this sense, Christianity is an aspect of the world's spirituality! My addiction made me a small man with a small god. Constantly focusing on the differences in the world stopped me from seeing the glaring similarities; my exclusiveness kept me a lonely man. The world of black and white, rather than shades of creative color, is a sick and dangerous world to live in. Jesus Christ reveals for me the "man for others"; the bridge by which reconciliation and harmony can be achieved. His message for me is not so much a series of dogmas as a revealed journey into Truth. In the created stranger, help me to discover the friend. ************************************************** ********* But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 "His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness." 2 Peter 1:3 "A cheerful heart is good medicine..." Proverb 17:22a "Protect me, O God, for in you I take refuge." Psalm 16:1 ************************************************** ********* Daily Inspiration Prayer helps us see that God is not the cause of unpleasant happenings, but the healing of them. Lord, I trust in You for the right outcomes in all situations. Each day is new! Each day is an opportunity to start again and be our best selves. Lord, silence my old ways of thinking, my old habits, and my old tapes inside my head. ************************************************** ********* NA Just For Today Powerlessness, Personal Responsibility "Through our inability to accept personal responsibilities, we were actually creating our own problems." Basic Text, p. 13 When we refuse to take responsibility for our lives, we give away all of our personal power. We need to remember that we are powerless over our addiction, not our personal behavior. Many of us have misused the concept of powerlessness to avoid making decisions or to hold onto things we had outgrown. We have claimed powerlessness over our own actions. We have blamed others for our circumstances rather than taking positive action to change those circumstances. If we continue to avoid responsibility by claiming that we are "powerless;" we set ourselves up for the same despair and misery we experienced in our active addiction. The potential for spending our recovery years feeling like victims is very real. Instead of living our lives by default, we can learn how to make responsible choices and take risks. We may make mistakes, but we can learn from these mistakes. A heightened awareness of ourselves and an increased willingness to accept personal responsibility gives us the freedom to change, to make choices, and to grow. Just for today: My feelings, actions, and choices are mine. I will accept responsibility for them. ************************************************** ********* You are reading from the book Today's Gift. I have often thought morality may perhaps consist solely in the courage of making a choice. --Leon Blum Sometimes, trying to do the right thing isn't easy because it isn't what we want to do. For instance, we may want to sneak a cookie to take to bed with us, or we may want to stay out late. But is that the right thing to do? One way to tell is to think how we'll feel after we've done it. Will we be happy, or will we feel guilty because we know in our hearts it is wrong? On the other hand, how would we feel if we resisted the temptation? Perhaps we'd feel great because we'd know in our hearts we'd done the right thing. And don't we deserve to feel good about ourselves? Of course we do! How wonderful it is that our feelings can help us do the right thing when we're in doubt. Will I have the courage to follow my true feelings today? You are reading from the book Touchstones. He who has a why to live can bear with almost any how. --Friedrich Nietzsche Our sense of purpose in life is not fixed in concrete. It changes from youth through all the stages of life. Often in the transitions to a new growth stage we are most confused. In the chaotic life created by our own addictive or codependent thinking, all meaning collapses around us. At these times we wonder, "What is the point?" "Does anything really matter?" We receive a why for our existence by participating in the whole of this world. We are sons, or fathers, or husbands, or brothers, or friends to very specific people - and to the rest of our community, extending to all of creation. Our sense of purpose may change when life circumstances change. We get married, for instance, and then say, "Now what?" Or a child is born, or a parent dies, or we become disabled. Each time we may be confronted again with the questions. Being open to contact with our world, keeping our barriers down so we stay in touch, restores our awareness of purpose. May I continue to respond to the changing phases in life - and be open to the renewal of purpose, which is here for me. You are reading from the book The Language Of Letting Go. Our Path I just spent several hours with someone from my group, and I feel like I'm losing my mind. This woman insisted that the only way I would make progress in my program was to go to her church and succumb to her religious rules. She pushed and insisted, and insisted and pushed. She's been in the program so much longer than I have. I kept thinking that she must know what she's talking about. But it didn't feel right. And now I feel crazy, afraid, guilty, and ashamed. - -Anonymous The spiritual path and growth promised to us by the Twelve Steps does not depend on any religious belief. They are not contingent upon any denomination or sect. They are not, as the traditions of Twelve Step programs state, affiliated with any religious denomination or organization. We do not have to allow anyone to badger us about religion in recovery. We do not have to allow people to make us feel ashamed, afraid, or less than because we do not subscribe to their beliefs about religion. We do not have to let them do it to us in the name of God, love, or recovery. The spiritual experience we will find as a result of recovery and the Twelve Steps will be our own spiritual experience. It will be a relationship with God, a Higher Power, as we understand God. Each of us must find our own spiritual path. Each of us must build our own relationship with God, as we understand God. Each of us needs a Power greater than ourselves. These concepts are critical to recovery. So is the freedom to choose how to do that. Higher Power, help me know that I don't have to allow anyone to shame or badger me into religious beliefs. If they confuse that with the spirituality available in recovery, help me give their issue back to them. Help me discover and develop my own spirituality, a path that works for me. Guide me, with Divine Wisdom, as I grow spiritually. Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel ****************************************** Journey to the Heart Spread Your Wings and Fly I sat on the ground on a dirt road that wandered off a main highway in Idaho. I leaned against a tree and watched a mother eagle and her babies in a nest overhead. She fussed as she protected them, watching me closely, responding with her call to any noise she heard. She was very protective now, but someday it would be time to push them out of the nest. It would be time to teach them to fly. Many of us have been pushed out of the nest. Something unexpected happened, and our world changed. We may have fought valiantly to get back in the nest, to return to the safety of life as we knew it. But life had pushed us out. We had no choice but to flap our wings and learn to fly the best we could. See how magical this time has been? See how much you’ve learned? With all our fears and resistance, it has still been a grand and powerful time. You flailed around a bit, wondering who to trust. You tried to trust others, then found that didn’t work. Finally you understood. The very lesson you were learning was that of trusting yourself. You were learning to listen to and trust your inner voice. You were learning to open your heart. Despite all your fears, you have done a grand job. Look how much you’ve changed. See all the powers you’ve gained? You’ve opened up to your healing powers, your creative powers,too. You know and sense things in a way that used to seem beyond reach and now seems both magical and commonplace. Your instincts and intuition are finely tuned. Your inner voice is clear. And despite all your fears about being abandoned, you now see how much you are loved. When life pokes and prods you, it’s not punishment or abuse. You’re being pushed out of the nest. Spread your wings and take flight. See how well you can fly. ****************************************** More Language Of Letting Go Take a side road Adventures don’t begin until you get into the forest. That first step in an act of faith. –Micky Hart We were driving along highway 166 in central California on another road trip. The trip had been a long one, started on the spur of the moment, as they usually are, and now we were anxious to get back home. Then we– Andy, Chip, and I– all saw it: a small road leading up into the mountains behind an open gate. It wasn’t on the atlas. The road turned to dirt. Cows lounged on the path and we had to wait for them to move out of the way. The GPS (Global Positioning System) got lost. The path degraded. We hit a patch of black mud and the truck struggled for a moment. Chipster gunned the motor and we leapt ahead. “Think we should turn around?” he asked. “No, this road must go somewhere,” said Andy. “Aaaah,” I said. We came to a small lake in the middle of the path. “You can make it,” said Andy, rolling up his window. “Aaaah,” I said. Chip switched into four-wheel drive and gunned the motor. Muddy water poured in through the open sunroof. Much later– after we moved rocks out of the way, splashed through more puddles, saw stunning views from a high ridgeline, and drove far too close to the edge of the cliff– we came across an old man pushing a bicycle up the road. We asked, “How much further is it to get out of here?” “Well,” he replied, “how far in have you come?” “We didn’t come in this way.” A puzzled look crossed his face. “How did you get here then?” “We drove over the ridge.” He shook his head in disbelief and walked on. Ten miles later we came to another gate. The cell phone started to work again. The GPS decided that we were still on the planet after all. Sometimes, we find the biggest adventures when we deviate from the map and drive through the gate into new territory just to see where it goes. God, help me remember that I don’t have to follow the map all the time. Give me the spirit of adventure. Bring a little woohoo into my life. ****************************************** A Day At A Time Reflection For The Day We are often told in The Program that “more will be revealed.” As we are restored to health and become increasingly able to lve comfortably in the real world without using chemicals, we begin to see many things in a new light. Many of us have come to realize, for example, that our arch enemy, anger, comes disguised in many shapes and colors: intolerance, contempt, snobbishness, rigidity, tension, sarcasm, distrust, anxiety, envy, hatred, cynicism, discontent, self-pity, malice, suspicion, jealousy. Do I let my feelings get the best of me? Today I Pray May I recognize that my anger, like dancer at a masquerade, wears many forms of many faces. May I strip off it’s several masks and know it for what it is. Today I Will Remember Anger wears a thousand masks. ****************************************** One More Day This is a delicious evening, when the whole body is one sense and imbibes delight through every pore. – Henry David Thoreau We carry the memory of a soft spring rain within us even in a dry season. We remember the pungent fragrance of new mow grass, the chirping of crickets, the singing of birds. Such memories are important to us, but we’re increasingly determined to also create new ones. It takes some planning on our part to get out, but we know the experience is worth the effort. Our mobility maybe limited, or we might not be living in a place where we can commune with nature as easily as we did when we were younger. But we’re creative and find the joy of outdoors, on the stoop of our building or on a park bench. Zoos, nature preserves, and public parks give us a areas for today’s enjoyment and tomorrow’s memories. My illness imposes real limitations upon me; I will not impose artificial ones upon myself. ***************************************** One Day At A Time Secrets There were deep secrets hidden in my heart, never said for fear others would scoff or sneer. At last I can reveal my sufferings, for the strength I once felt in silence has lost all its power. Deidra Sarault I've heard it said in program that we are only a sick as the secrets we keep. If that is the case, then I was very sick when desperation forced me through the doors of ths wonderful fellowship. Not one of my friends or family knew what I was doing around food, as most of it was done in secret, and I was always careful to remove all the evidence. I couldn't believe that anyone would love me if they knew what I was doing around food, and felt that I was either really bad or totally crazy, or both. But for the first time ever, I was able to come clean about what I was doing around food, and I wasn't judged or frowned upon. The love and acceptance I have received here has been totally overwhelming, but in addition I found out that others had done the same or similar things to what I had done, and so for the first time ever, I felt that I wasn't alone. Not only have I been able to talk freely about my food and what I had been doing, as well as what it was doing to me, but in the fourth and fifth step, I was finally able to share with another person my darkest deepest secrets, that for years I'd thought had made me this terrible person. It was in fact in sharing all the things that I'd thought of as so bad, that I came to realise that it was only my magnifying mind that had made them appear so, and that in fact they really weren't bad at all. I would never have found that out, had I not been in this program, and I'm so grateful for the relief that sharing all these things has given me. One Day at a Time . . . I will learn to get honest and share with my sponsor and others in this program, all the things that are bothering me, whether it be food or other issues, so I can be relieved of the pain that all my secrets are causing me. ~ Sharon ***************************************** AA 'Big Book' - Quote Although financial recovery is on the way for many of us, we found we could not place money first. For us, material well-being always followed spiritual progress; it never preceded. - pg. 127 - The Family Afterward Hour To Hour - Book - Quote The professionals and counselors in our new life may appraise our situation better than us. They did not carry on a love affair with our drug of choice. Therefore, their evaluation of what the heck we are doing may be more nearly correct. May I have the ability to listen to those trying to help me; they honestly may be more objective than myself. Sincerity I will be sincere. I will pray with a true heart. I will greet life and the gifts it gives me with an appreciative heart. Today I will not ask life to be something I am not willing to be. I won't ask the world to shower blessings onto me that I am not willing to deserve by my own right action. I will be the goodness I wish to have - Tian Dayton PhD Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote We may have the right to be wrong, but our steps teach us that we don't have the right to do wrong. When my only reason for doing something is 'because I have the right!' it usually turns out wrong. "Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book There are no chemical solutions to spiritual problems. Time for Joy - Book - Quote I know that I am being led along a path of healing today. As I become more and more open to spirituality and recovery, My path becomes brighter and clearer every day. Alkiespeak - Book - Quote I wanted to be a writer. So I bought a pipe, a sports jacket with leather on the sleeves and a book on French. And I sat in the bar. I never wrote a line. - Anon.
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