NA JUST FOR TODAY - JULY 2014

[MajestyJo]

July 24, 2014

The masks have to go

Page 214

"...we covered low self-esteem by hiding behind phony images that we hoped would fool people. The masks have to go."

Basic Text, p. 32

Over-sensitivity, insecurity, and lack of identity are often associated with active addiction. Many of us carry these with us into recovery; our fears of inadequacy, rejection, and lack of direction do not disappear overnight. Many of us have images, false personalities we have constructed either to protect ourselves or please others. Some of us use masks because we're not sure who we really are. Sometimes we think that these images, built to protect us while using, might also protect us in recovery.

We use false fronts to hide our true personality, to disguise our lack of self-esteem. These masks hide us from others and also from our own true selves. By living a lie, we are saying that we cannot live with the truth about ourselves. The more we hide our real selves, the more we damage our self-esteem.

One of the miracles of recovery is the recognition of ourselves, complete with assets and liabilities. Self esteem begins with this recognition. Despite our fear of becoming vulnerable, we need to be willing to let go of our disguises. We need to be free of our masks and free to trust ourselves.

Just for Today: I will let go of my masks and allow my self esteem to grow.

One of my favourite topics. "Oh what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive." When I was in treatment, we were asked to do a collage, with pictures of how we feel others see us, how we portray ourselves to others, the way we feel we project to others, and a picture of how we see ourselves. Mine was a jungle, the picture was black with yellow lines outlining the vines, leaves, monkey, etc. The monkey was pretty much in your face, and did not portray a very nice picture. I was told by the counsellors, that it was one of the best ever seen in the house.