Imagination

[MajestyJo]

Most times I have an over acted one. I had to change my outlook and imagine what would happen as a result of my God's goodness, instead of looking at the worst case scenario. What I think and put out, comes back to me, so if I think negative, I draw it onto me.

I have to look at today, and not imagining that the same thing will happen now like it did in the past. Don't compare, identify that your God is with you, and if it does happen again, I have the tools of recovery to see me through.

People say imagine this or that, acting as if, and I find I have a fear of visualizing what is not there, spent too many years doing that.

I think I have a fear of visualizing because I just might remember seeing my brother when he was killed when he was 2 and I was 3. I think somewhere back in my mind, there is a fear because I blamed myself for his death. I carried that thought for 50 years until I could look at the issue in recovery.

I found I didn't mind inner knowing but didn't want a visual picture. Not sure if that means I don't want to face reality, I know things happened, but that was then, this is now, and I don't have to bring it into today.

Not too sure that makes sense as I am still waking up. The fingers are moving so hopefully they are attached to my mind and my heart.