Every conflict has many levels

[MajestyJo]

Today's thought is:
Every conflict has many levels.

Some couples live as if they are fighting a cold war. Conflicts are handled by retreat into silence with each feeling like a self-righteous victim. When we retreat into this role we abandon ourselves and our commitments to our relationship. We tear away at the relationship we originally created out of love and hope.

When conflicts arise, as they must, resolution depends on taking the risk to go back to our partner with enough calmness to listen and speak our piece. We must let go of our pride and desire to be right. We each believe our case is just. But our differences are not necessarily about who is right or wrong, good or bad. Every conflict has many levels. Many times in conflict what we want most is to feel listened to and understood. When we listen and work to understand, we can let go of our need to "win," and our differences can build our common strength.

Tell your partner about a conflict or difference of opinion for which you have gone silent.

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

Originally posted on another site in 2004