The Art of Forgiveness

[MajestyJo]

A Positive Shift

Art Of Forgiveness

To forgive really is divine. It takes strength to set aside what is often justifiable anger. It's much easier to hold a grudge. Yet when we make the choice and allow ourselves to put aside that anger and to forgive those who have harmed us, we actually do ourselves a great service. Making the conscious decision to let go of pain is the beginning of healing.
But doing so is challenging because it is easy to become attached to seeing oneself as a victim and to hold onto resentment, even when the person who has harmed us is genuinely sorry. Forgiving someone is both one of the most difficult and one of the most spiritually rewarding choices we can make.

While forgiveness is a noble act, research shows that the person who forgives benefits as much, perhaps more, than those that are forgiven. Expressing true forgiveness is empowering because it helps us to stop feeling like victims and to dispel our own suffering at having been wronged. Our levels of anger and hostility decreases while our capacity to love increases. We are better able to control our anger and we have an enhanced capacity to trust. We are freed from the control of past events, which can help us to stop repeating negative behavior. Both our physical and mental health improves. Though many people feel forgiveness is something that must be asked for or earned by another, forgiveness is actually a gift you give to yourself.

When you are ready to let go of your anger and forgive, it can be helpful to do so internally, whether or not you intend on telling the one who wronged you. It doesn't matter if the person has passed on or if you don't have contact with them anymore. Keep in your mind's eye the person you want to forgive but do not dwell on their past actions or words. As you concentrate on them, sincerely wish for them everything you would want for yourself. Do this for as long as and as many times as it takes. It may be days, months or even a year before you sense a change. But you'll know when you are finished, because you will feel a positive shift and you will feel free.

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DailyOM

Forgiveness isn't one of my strong points. It is also an Aries failing according to horoscopes, which seems to mean I have to work twice as hard on this defect, which can be a constant anger source for me, which needs a lot of prayer and letting go.

Posted on another site in 2005

[MajestyJo]

Forgivenss

If you can't forgive and forget, pick one. ~Robert Brault,

Like this. Forgiveness has been an ongoing thing for me, especially when it comes to my part in my son's life which led him to the path of his own addiction. He made his choices as I did mine and yet there is a part of me that has trouble letting it all go and forgiving myself.


http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/forgiveness.php

Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future. ~Paul Boese

Always need these. I have a much easier time with forgiveness since I went to a Bible Conference with my two sisters and the speaker shared on The Lord's Prayer. I did it as a form of amends with my sisters, they are both religious, I have a more spiritual outlook. I am open to anything that heals and feeds my soul.

[MajestyJo]

The Stepping Stones to Forgiveness
Be open to the possibility of changing your beliefs
about forgiveness. Recognize that forgiveness is an
act of strength, not weakness.

Be willing to let go of being a victim. Choose to
believe that holding on to grievances and unforgiving
thoughts is choosing to suffer. Find no value in self-pity.

Remind yourself that your anger and judgments
can’t change the past or punish someone else, but
they can hurt you. The events of the past cannot hurt
you now, but your thoughts about the past can cause
you immense distress and pain. Recognize that any
emotional pain you feel this moment is caused only
by your own thoughts.

See the value of giving up, not some, but all of your
judgments. It is no coincidence that the happiest people
are those who choose not to judge and know the value
of forgiveness.

Recognize that holding on to anger will not bring you
what your truly want. Ask yourself this question, " Does
holding on to my justified anger really bring me peace
of mind?" Anger and peace; judgment and happiness
do not occur at the same time.

See that there is no value in punishing yourself.
Once you truly recognize that your angry, unhappy
thoughts about the past are poisoning your life, you
will embrace forgiveness and know the meaning of
love.

Believe that forgiveness means giving up all hope
for a better past! Accept your past, forgive your past,
and embrace the present and future with hope! There
is no law forcing you to remain a victim of the past.

Choose to be happy rather than right. When we
stop trying to control others and focus instead on our
own thoughts, we give ourselves the gift of freedom
and peace.

Believe that you have the power to choose the
thoughts you put into your mind. Perhaps the greatest
gift we have been given is the power to choose loving
thoughts rather than angry ones. Your mind is not a
dumpster that will remain unaffected by the trash you
put into it. Treat it like a garden and it will blossom.

Be willing to make peace of mind your only goal
and believe that forgiveness is the key to happiness.
Regardless of the chaos around us, we can know peace
if that is our single goal. Choose not to let outside
circumstances or people decide whether you will be
happy. Anger, judgments and unforgiving thoughts
make suffer, and releasing them brings us joy. It truly
is that simple!