Today's Thought - November

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November 16

Fair play is primarily not blaming others for anything that is wrong with us.
--Eric Hoffer

It's tempting to blame others for our problems. Recovery asks us to answer for our actions. Admitting we are powerless over our alcohol and other drugs is a start. Each of the Twelve Steps asks us to answer for our actions in some way. And the program shows us how to do this.

Over time, we see that being responsible for our actions is the best way to live. Our self-confidence grows as we become more responsible. We start to see just how much we can do. We have gone from being drunks to being responsible people. If we can do this, then we can do anything!

Prayer for the Day

I pray to remember that I'm responsible for my actions. Blaming puts distance between me and other people. Higher Power, help me to play fair.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll list four times I've blamed someone else for a problem that was really my problem.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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November 17

Reflection for the Day

It's time for me to realize that my attitude - toward the life I'm living and the people in it - can have a tangible, measurable and profound effect on what happens to me day by day. If I expect good, then good will surely come to me. And if I try each day to base my attitude and point of view on a sound spiritual foundation, I know it will change all the circumstances of my life for the better, too. Do I accept the fact that I have been given only a daily reprieve that is contingent on the maintenance of my spiritual condition?

Today I Pray

Since my illness was spiritual - as well as physical and emotional - may I mend spiritually through daily communion with God.

Today I Will Remember

To spend a quiet moment with God.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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November 18

When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
--Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Newcomer

Initially, I was excited about recovery. I felt better for a while. I hate to say it, but now that I'm not at the beginning any more, everything seems worse. I feel more cynical than ever.

Sponsor

What you're experiencing is part of the process of recovery. Many of us go through a "honeymoon" phase in early recovery. Our craving may feel miraculously lifted. Change feels easy, and hope replaces despair.

Then, life feels difficult again. We may perceive ourselves as having gotten worse, but that's not accurate. What's really happening is that, though our addictive craving has been treated, we still have our old problems, habits, and states of mind. We may be getting through the day, showing up for our work responsibilities, attending meetings, but not having much fun. We may wonder if what we've heard is really true - that "our worst day in recovery is better than our best day of active addiction." We may wonder whether recovery really is the answer after all.

Our doubt makes clear to us that we have to do something. Staying where we are is too uncomfortable. We can attend a Step meeting and read program literature to begin to familiarize ourselves with our next Step. For spirits in need of healing, Step work leads to the next phase of recovery.

Today, I have the courage to move forward in my journey of recovery.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

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November 19

Whoever is happy will make others happy too. He who has courage and faith will never perish in misery.
--Anne Frank

Acknowledging our gratitude for the blessings in our life releases the happiness that we sometimes keep hidden within our heart. And happiness can be contagious. We all know people who are always bubbly, who always look on the bright side of events, who genuinely inspire happiness in us when we're around them. We, too, can serve as a catalyst for happiness in the lives of others.

Knowing that we're never left alone to solve any problem or handle any situation relieves us of much of the anxiety that crowds out happiness. Having God as a constant companion, and having faith that we are moving toward the best outcome for the present circumstance, makes happiness a far more frequent visitor in our life. Happiness becomes habitual when we keep our focus on God as our play's director, the source for all our decisions.

I will share happiness and my faith in God with others today.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

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November 20

Going Easy

Go easy. You may have to push forward, but you don't have to push so hard. Go in gentleness, go in peace.

Do not be in so much of a hurry. At no day, no hour, no time are you required to do more than you can do in peace. Frantic behaviors and urgency are not the foundation for our new way of life.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to begin. Begin, but do not force the beginning if it is not time. Beginnings will arrive soon enough.

Enjoy and relish middles, the heart of the matter.

Do not be in too much of a hurry to finish. You may be almost done, but enjoy the final moments. Give yourself fully to those moments so that you may give and get all there is.

Let the pace flow naturally. Move forward. Start. Keep moving forward. Do it gently, though. Do it in peace. Cherish each moment.

Today, God, help me focus on a peaceful pace rather than a harried one. I will keep moving forward gently, not frantically. Help me let go of my need to be anxious, upset, and harried. Help me replace it with a need to be at peace and in harmony.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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November 21

Slow motion gets you there faster.
--Hoagy Carmichael

"One of the hardest lessons for me to learn is patience," admitted a fellow. "I've been in a race all my life. I suppose I could compare myself to the hare in the fable of ‘The Tortoise and the Hare.' I jump into things, rush at them, and never seem to cross the finish line. I get side-tracked by other things that seem to need immediate attention. I never have a sense of peace. Everything has to be done by yesterday.

"I was even in a hurry in my marriage - which is one reason I'm divorced now. I wanted my wife to race with me. I wanted her to be perfect overnight. I nagged at her constantly. I was too impatient to let her grow at her own speed. Because I couldn't slow down, I couldn't allow her to be at peace either.

"I thought I was doing all the changing and growing. When, in reality, all I was doing was bombarding my problems and projects with a lot of momentum and very little common sense."

Today I will slow down. I only increase my difficulties when I try to solve them in a hurry.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

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November 22

One forgives to the degree that one loves.
--La Rochefaucould

We all get hurt by other people sometimes. When this happens, we have choices. We can get angry and stay that way. We can act like it didn't hurt and try to forget it. We can act like a sad sack and hold a grudge. Or we can forgive.

We first have to think about how someone hurt us. It often helps to talk to the person, to tell the person that he or she hurt us. We then tell the person what we'd like from him or her to help set our relationship straight. Then we let go.

This is what forgiveness is: (1) loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves, (2) loving others enough to point out their behavior, and (3) letting go.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me lovingly forgive those who have hurt me.

Action for the Day

I will list five persons who have hurt me. Have I forgiven them? I will talk to my sponsor about it today.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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November 23

There is enough in the world for everyone's need, but not enough for everyone's good.
--Frank Buchman

Ours is an illness of more. More! More! More! The greed of addiction decays the soul and leaves us to desperately try to fill the hole that is left behind, but there is never enough. The greed of addiction also keeps us running from the responsibility of a relationship with our Higher Power. Over time we're left with great spiritual pain. Recovery asks us to replace greed with gratitude. If we are sober today, that is enough. We should be grateful. If we can make one person smile today, that is enough. We should be grateful. If we have a place to rest our head and food to nourish our body, that is enough. We should be grateful. As our needs are met, we give thanks instead of demanding more.

Prayer For The Day

Higher Power help me become a person who is thankful for the gift of life and sobriety. Help me give thanks for the challenges as well as the easy times. Help me to see that I am enough.

Today's Action

Today I will make a list of all the things for which I am grateful. I will give thanks to my Higher Power, especially, for my sobriety.

You are reading from the book:

God Grant Me... by Anonymous

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November 24

We will sabotage ourselves if we don't believe we deserve success.

Maybe we could try a different approach - stop torturing ourselves for the things we have done wrong and then try forgiveness instead. We can make amends by doing service work – a way of keeping that self-sabotaging guilt at bay.

Sometimes people don't know how to directly ask for forgiveness, but their behaviors will tell us that's what they're saying. Whenever somebody asks for forgiveness, whenever we have a list of resentments, whenever we've done something wrong, it's a good time to start making things right.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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November 25

When I hear somebody sigh "Life is hard," I am always tempted to ask, compared to what?
--Sydney J. Harris

We've probably heard all the negative quotations about life. There was also probably a time when we believed them all. Based on the state of our lives at the time, it was probably no surprise that life was difficult and brutal.

Certainly there are many things in life that are harsh and cruel; we see such things in the paper every day. But there are some very wonderful things, too. It's just that we've been conditioned to believe the horrors instead of the wonders.

Today may have been a long, tiring, boring day. But that doesn't mean all days are long, tiring, and boring. There's much good in life that we can see if we let ourselves. We can get off our life-is-difficult soapbox and hear the humor, see the smiles, and feel the caring. Life may be difficult at times, but it is also quite fulfilling.

I need to feel that life is good. Tonight I will consider what event happened today that I can feel good about.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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November 26

Optimism

What I think about surrounds me. What I allow to be entertained in my mind becomes a reality. If I think negatively, I will attract negativity in my life. On the other hand, if I concentrate on developing positive thoughts, I will attract positive people and events to my life. My potential will be increased.

I cannot control what thoughts come into my mind, but I can control my perception and reaction to them.

I pray that I may be filled with positive thoughts today; I deserve the resulting rewards.

You are reading from the book:

Help for Helpers by Anonymous

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November 27

... satisfaction is a lowly thing, how pure a thing is joy.
--Marianne Moore

Our perfectionism generally dashes all hopes of self-satisfaction. But the program is here to show us that we can make progress. We can learn to believe that we are doing any task as well as we need to do it, at this time. Our job is the effort. The outcome is part of a larger plan, one that involves more than ourselves.

We'll find joy when we find acceptance of ourselves and our efforts and the belief that we are spiritual beings whose lives do have purpose and direction.

The wisdom that accompanies spiritual growth offers us security, that which we have sought along many avenues. And when we feel secure, we can trust that the challenges confronting us are purposeful and to our advantage.

One day at a time, one small prayer at a time, moves us even closer to spiritual security. We can look with glad anticipation at our many responsibilities and activities today. They are our opportunities for spiritual security. We can trust our growing inner resources by simply asking for guidance and waiting patiently. It will find us.

I must exercise my prayers if I want the spiritual security where I can find joy. I will ask for guidance with every activity today.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

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November 28

"I was lucky," a man explained to me. "One of my first mentors in life made me practice serenity. Whenever I'd call him in full-blown panic mode or with that frantic tone in my voice, he'd refuse to talk to me until I calmed myself down.

"'Go get centered,' he'd tell me. 'Then we'll talk.'" Sometimes we need help working through our panic, anxiety, and fear. Find someone to talk to who will support serenity, rather than feed anxiety. Learn to recognize turmoil and urgency in your body, speech, emotions, and thought. Learn what it feels like to be centered and calm. Practicing serenity is a learned behavior and an art.

Action:

When you find yourself in turmoil, stop what you are doing. Take deliberate steps to relax. Talk to a friend, say the Serenity Prayer or any favorite prayer, breathe, meditate, feel any emotions you need to feel. Calming yourself may feel awkward at first, nearly impossible. (Some people may need professional help to deal with anxiety and panic if it's chronic and continual.) Over time and with practice, you will discover ways to calm yourself, the way a loving parent learns to calm a fretting child.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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November 29

One way to become enthusiastic is to look for the plus sign. To make progress in any difficult situation, you have to start with what's right about it and build on that.
-- Norman Vincent Peale

Beginning our days with a positive mental outlook is a great depression chaser. Simply lifting our heads and looking up and out instead of down will make us feel better. Although we can't spend all our time staring at the sky, we can train ourselves to look for the best in ourselves and others.

Even in the middle of difficulty or pain, we have choices. We can choose a gloom-and-doom attitude and endlessly replay the thoughts that accompany it. Or we can step back and find the one good thing. We may be blinded with pain. The situation may appear hopeless, utterly bleak. But recovery guarantees that we are equal to it; that in our pain there is at least one good thing.

We are the masters of our fate. We can change even the most difficult situations with an attitude of hope and positive expectation. Approaching each day with a hopeful heart will give us a different approach to our troubles.

Today help me find the one good thing. Help me let go of fear and negativity.

You are reading from the book:

Body, Mind, and Spirit by Anonymous

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November 30

Love is something if you give it away, you end up having more.
--Malvina Reynolds

The abundant life appeals to us. Seldom do we want less money, fewer toys, clothes, or friends. In general, we want more of everything and still more - particularly of love. The truth is that the things we hoard or hide or fear losing must be shared or soon may be lost.

Giving love to a lover, a friend, or even a stranger will fill up our own empty spaces where love wants to be. And we'll glow radiantly with the warmth that hovers on the heels of love expressed.

The pantry of the human heart is never bare when love is being served. We pass this way with one another, not by mere chance, but by design for the nourishment that is love.

Our greatest hope, to be loved, is ours when we've made that hope a reality for someone else.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey