Daily Recovery Readings - October

[bluidkiti]

October 1

Daily Reflections

LEST WE BECOME COMPLACENT

It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest
on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol
is a subtle foe.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 85

When I am in pain it is easy to stay close to the friends I have
found in the programs. Relief from that pain is provided in the
solutions contained in A.A.'s Twelve Steps. But when I am feeling
good and things are going well, I can become complacent. To put
it simply, I become lazy and turn into the problem instead of the
solution. I need to get into action, to take stock: where am I and
where am I going? A daily inventory will tell me what I must
change to regain spiritual balance. Admitting what I find within
myself, to God and to another human being, keeps me honest and humble.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

A.A. will lose some of its effectiveness if I do not do my share.
Where am I failing? Are there some things I do not feel like doing?
Am I held back by self-consciousness or fear? Self-consciousness is
a form of pride. It is a fear that something may happen to you.
What happens to you is not very important. The impression you
make on others does not depend so much on the kind of job you
do as on your sincerity and honesty of purpose. Am I holding back
because I am afraid of not making a good impression?

Meditation For The Day

Look to God for the true power that will make you effective. See
no other wholly dependable supply of strength. That is the secret
of a truly effective life. And you, in your turn, will be used to help
many others find effectiveness. Whatever spiritual help you need,
whatever spiritual help you desire for others, look to God. Seek
that God's will be done in your life and seek that your will conforms
to His. Failures come from depending too much on your own strength.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may feel that nothing good is too much for me if I look
to God for help. I pray that I may be effective through His guidance.

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As Bill Sees It

Troubles of Our Own Making, p.272

Selfishness--self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our
troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion,
self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and
they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without
provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we
have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a
position to be hurt.

So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They
arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of
self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so. Above
everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must,
or it kills us!

Alcoholics Anonymous, p.62

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Walk In Dry Places

Thinking about Blame.
Inventory.
Which is worse: blaming ourselves or others for things that go wrong?
A better question might be, Is anyone to blame?
We're really better off, in 12 Step living, to begin dropping the idea of
placing blame for our thinking altogether. Even is someone's responsibility
for a mistake or wrong is fully evident, we get nowhere by pointing the
finger at him or her. What often happens, in fact, is that the person
becomes defensive... just as we do... And retreats into denial or anger.
Another problem is that placing blame quickly becomes the sticky
business of taking another person's inventory. Let's leave such matters
to courts and prosecutions and focus instead on solving our own problems.
I'll not waste time today thinking about who's to blame. My focus will
be on what can be done for general improvement.

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Keep It Simple

Continued to take personal inventory. . .First half of Step Ten
Step Ten tells us to keep looking at who we are. We ask ourselves,
“Is what I’m doing okay?”
If it is, then we take pride in the way we acting. If not, we change our
behavior. Step Ten keeps us in the right direction.
Throughout time, wise persons have told us to get to know ourselves.
Step Ten helps us do this.
We become our own best friend. A true friend tells us when we’re doing
right and when we’re messing up. Step Ten is our teacher. Even when
we want to pretend we don’t know right from wrong, Step Ten reminds
us that we do know. Step Ten is our daily reminder that we now have
values---good values.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, Step Ten is a lot of work. Keep me
working. Help me form a habit. Let this habit be called “Step Ten.”
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll continue to take a personal inventory.
I will list what is good about me today and what I don’t like.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Women are often caught between conforming to existing standards
or role definitions and exploring the promise of new alternatives.
--Stanlee Phelps and Nancy Austin
This is a time of exploring for many of us. Recovery means change
in habits, change in behavior, change in attitudes. And change is
seldom easy. But change we must, if we want to recover successfully.
We do have support for trying our new alternatives. We have support
from our groups and our higher power. Perhaps we want a career or
more education. Perhaps we want to develop a hobby or try a sport.
Sharing that desire and then looking for support guarantees some
guidance. This program has given us a chance to start fresh--
to become our inner desire.
We are only caught in an old pattern if we assent to it. The going
won't always be easy, but support and guidance are available and
free if we but look for them.
Today I will consider my alternatives. Do I want to make a change?

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

When you have carefully explained to such people that he is a sick person, you will have created a new atmosphere. Barriers which have sprung up between you and your friends will disappear with the growth of sympathetic understanding. You will no longer be self-conscious or feel that you must apologize as though your husband were a weak character. He may be anything but that. Your new courage, good nature and lack of self-consciousness will do wonders for you socially.

p. 115

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

Dad was an alcoholic, and my mother drank throughout her pregnancy, but I don't blame my parents for my alcoholism. Kids with a lot worse upbringings than mine did not turn out alcoholic, while some that had it alot better did. In fact, I stopped wondering, "Why me?" a long time ago. It's like a man standing on a bridge in the middle of a river with his pants on fire wondering why his pants are on fire. It doesn't matter. Just jump in! And that is exactly what I did with A.A. once I finally crossed the river of denial!

p. 328

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Nine - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

Many a razor-edged question can arise in other departments of life where this same principle is involved. Suppose, for instance, that we have drunk up a good chunk of our firm's money, whether by "borrowing" or on a heavily padded expense account. Suppose that this may continue to go undetected, if we say nothing. Do we instantly confess our irregularities to the firm, in the practical certainty that we will be fired and become unemployable? Are we going to be so rigidly righteous about making amends that we don't care what happens to the family and home? Or do we first consult those who are to be gravely affected? Do we lay the matter before our sponsor or spiritual adviser, earnestly asking God's help and guidance--meanwhile resolving to do the right thing when it becomes clear, cost what it may? Of course, there is no pat answer which can fit all such dilemmas. But all of them do require a complete willingness to make amends as fast and as far as may be possible in a given set of conditions.

pp. 86-87

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"How things look on the outside of us depends on how things are
on the inside of us."
--Parks Cousins

I shall continue to believe. In hope there is faith, miracles do happen,
in God I trust.
--Shelley

Time is my most precious resource, I choose to use it wisely and
to cherish each moment, sober.
--Bob

I have a choice, I do not have to accept unacceptable behavior.
--Shelley

Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide
upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There
are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are
right. To map out a course of action and follow it to an end requires some
of the same courage that a soldier needs. Peace has its victories, but it
takes brave men and women to win them.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some people make the future; most wait for the future to make them.
--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES

There is a choice you have to make, In everything you do. And you
must always keep in mind, The choice you make, makes you.
--Unknown

You can preach a better sermon with your life than you can with your lips.
--Unknown

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

LAUGHTER

"We are all here for a spell, get
all the good laughs you can."
-- Will Rogers

When I first heard recovering alcoholics laughing, I thought I was
in the wrong place. I was angry that they treated the disease so lightly.
Then slowly I began to see that laughter is part of joy --- a deep joy that
comes from personal healing. Laughter is spiritual because it is a
positive response to life. It is the noise of optimism.

And there is so much in life to laugh about --- not only the funny things
we did, but also the "humor" that abounds in living. How funny is our
self-righteousness! How amusing we are in courtship. How ridiculous we
appear when we pretend to be serious and "in charge".

Laughter is the conversation of angels.

Let me see the miracle of humor in the gift of life --- and let me be
prepared to share it.

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Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition,
with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Philippians 4:6

"Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs."
Proverbs 10:12

Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.
James 2:17

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Daily Inspiration

Don't give up because your best has not yet been achieved. Lord,
take away my doubts and give me courage to accept my opportunities.

Often times that which we find difficult is that which teaches. Lord,
may I always be able to see the good that comes from even my trials.

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NA Just For Today

Not just a motivation for growth
Page 287

"We learn that pain can be a motivating factor in recovery."

Basic Text, p.30

"Pain-who needs it!" we think whenever we're in it. We see no good purpose for pain. It seems to be a pointless exercise in suffering. If someone happens to mention spiritual growth to us while we're in pain, we most likely snort in disgust and walk away, thinking we've never encountered a more insensitive person.

But what if human beings didn't feel pain-either physical or emotional? Sound like an ideal world? Not really. If we weren't capable of feeling physical pain, we wouldn't know when to blink foreign particles out of our eyes; we wouldn't know when to stop exercising; we wouldn't even know when to roll over in our sleep. We would simply abuse ourselves for lack of a natural warning system.

The same holds true for emotional pain. How would we have known that our lives had become unmanageable if we hadn't been in pain? Just like physical pain, emotional pain lets us know when to stop doing something that hurts. But pain is not only a motivating factor. Emotional pain provides a basis for comparison when we are joyful. We couldn't appreciate joy without knowing pain.

Just for Today: I will accept pain as a necessary part of life. I know that to whatever level I can feel pain, I can also feel joy.

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Perhaps nature is our best assurance of immortality. --Eleanor Roosevelt
Everything in nature contributes to something else--like the hundred-year-old tree that stood tall until a wind storm. The protection it gave to thousands of birds and squirrels it now gives to insects and fungi. As it slowly decays, it nourishes the ground, and from the enriched soil grow several other trees. We human beings are part of this eternal cycle, our ideas and actions enriching those around us and influencing generations yet to come. Being part of this vast plan gives us comfort, and faith that everything that happens is meant to be. Our hearts fill with joy with the knowledge that we are needed; just as every tree is needed.
How do I fit into nature's plan today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
It was football time, apple time, harvest time, hunting time, and school time. Footsteps quickened. It was exciting to be in transition. It seemed more like the beginning of something than like the end of it. --Paul Gruchow
Some days seem filled with the exciting energy of change. They are like walking on a bridge from one time period to the next. In the fall, our senses are filled with messages of change. Trees tell us it is happening. So do football games, and the cool chill in the morning air.
As summer wanes and winter approaches, we may need to grieve for what we leave behind before greeting what comes next. The changes we experience in recovery bring similar responses. We grieve the loss of our old friends, the bottle, the food binge, the romantic thrill, or the excitement of gambling or spending. We are able to grieve our losses because we accept them. We have chosen them. Now we move to the next season of our lives.
As I experience the circle of seasons outside me, I am grateful for the ongoing flow of change within.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Women are often caught between conforming to existing standards or role definitions and exploring the promise of new alternatives. --Stanlee Phelps and Nancy Austin
This is a time of exploring for many of us. Recovery means change in habits, change in behavior, change in attitudes. And change is seldom easy. But change we must, if we want to recover successfully.
We do have support for trying our new alternatives. We have support from our groups and our higher power. Perhaps we want a career or more education. Perhaps we want to develop a hobby or try a sport. Sharing that desire and then looking for support guarantees some guidance. This program has given us a chance to start fresh--to become our inner desire.
We are only caught in an old pattern if we assent to it. The going won't always be easy, but support and guidance are available and free if we but look for them.
Today I will consider my alternatives. Do I want to make a change?


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Be Who You Are
In recovery, we're learning a new behavior. It's called Be Who You Are.
For some of us, this can be frightening. What would happen if we felt what we felt, said what we wanted, became firm about our beliefs, and valued what we needed? What would happen if we let go of our camouflage of adaptation? What would happen if we owned our power to be ourselves?
Would people still like us? Would they go away? Would they become angry?
There comes a time when we become willing and ready to take that risk. To continue growing, and living with ourselves, we realize we must liberate ourselves. It becomes time to stop allowing ourselves to be so controlled by others and their expectations and be true to ourselves - regardless of the reaction of others.
Before long, we begin to understand. Some people may go away, but the relationship would have ended anyway. Some people stay and love and respect us more for taking the risk of being whom we are. We begin to achieve intimacy, and relationships that work.
We discover that who we are has always been good enough. It is who we were intended to be.
Today, I will own my power to be myself.


I am grateful for the power I have over the future of my life. I am being guided at all times to use my power with wisdom and with love. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 1
Are You Ready, Willing, and Able?

Have you cleared the path you want to travel? Are you ready, willing, and able to do whatever it takes to have what you want?

Decide what you want. Be as clear as you can be. Say it. Write it. Share your idea with a friend. Then ask yourself if you are ready, willing, and able to do what it takes to have what you want. Ask yourself the question as often as you need to.

Watch how you feel when you say what you want. Look for objections, blocks from within, obstacles on your path. Look closely at yourself, your fears, your angers, your resistance. Let your feelings come up, acknowledge them, then let them go. One after another remove the blocks until the path you want to travel is clear. Remove the obstacles until you can clearly see your vision and your voice is strong and clear. I’m ready, willing, and able to have what I want and it’s in my highest good.

The way to your dreams, the way to make your visions come alive is by taking a journey inside your soul. Are you ready, willing, and able to have what you want? Do you believe it when you hear yourself say it? When you do, the road will be clear, and you’ll be ready to travel the path you desire.

*****

more language of letting go for October
Say I see

I was out at the drop zone one day soon after I'd begun skydiving, when the idea occurred to me. I know, I thought, I'll get a cabin out here, on a little hill with a hot tub, fireplace, and lined inside with scented cedar wood.

Wouldn't it be nice, I thought, to live high on a hill and look down at night at the twinkling lights, overlooking the city and the lake?

I didn't think much more about it, until the cold, rainy season started. Then, despite all my efforts to repress the dream of the cabin, it just popped up and sprang right out from inside of me.

I called my friend Kyle and asked him if he was busy. He said no. So I asked him if he had some time to go driving around with me.

"I just want to check out the area," I said. "Let's see if the cabin's there. Let's just drive to where my intuition takes me."

We drove down highway fifteen when an exit approached. Taking the exit felt like the thing to do. We turned off and started driving west. I looked to my right and suddenly felt an urge to drive up the hill. So we followed the road, driving by one house after another. Finally, at the end of the road, there was a small cabin at the top of a hill. The outside was covered with rough-sawn cedar. A brick fireplace covered the front of the house. A hot tub sat in the backyard. And a for sale sign was posted in the frontyard.

There are other pieces to this story. Chip got in on the dream. At some point we stopped calling it "the cabin," and it became the Blue Sky Lodge. Pat and Andy came along and helped make the dream real. It was going to be a comfortable place for people who liked to do things in the air. We'd have extra beds available. It wouldn't be a hotel, but it was open to any guest who wanted to spread his or her wings and learn how to fly.

We camped at the Lodge during construction, Everything took longer than we thought, but eventually it turned into the place of our dreams.

There's a pool table, a dartboard, a whimsical guest room called the clown room, a comfy guest bedroom, a living room with a massive stone fireplace and a big-screen TV. Then there's the Blue Room, a master bedroom with blue plaid material on the walls. It houses the biggest, most comfortable bed in the world-- the Cloud Bed-- and my desk.

Red beams line the cedar wood ceiling. Chip has a desk in the foyer, and there's video cameras and regular cameras and computers on top of it. And there's books and CDs and flight bags and parachutes and helmets and climbing ropes lying around all over the house.

The Blue Sky Lodge is really about learning that your dreams can come true.

Whether your dreams for yourself come to you in bits and pieces, over a period of time, or whether you practice visualization to see and focus on your dreams yourself, dreams are just another way of God communicating with us

She's saying, "Look at what you can have."

An important part of the language of letting go is learning to say, "I see what I can have, who I am, where I am, and what I have right now."

God, help me become aware.

*****

Observing Evolution
Allowing Others to Walk Their Paths by Madisyn Taylor

It is important to allow others to walk their own path because it is just that, their own path.

Watching a loved one or a peer traverse a path littered with stumbling blocks can be immensely painful. We instinctively want to guide them toward a safer track and share with them the wisdom we have acquired through experience. Yet all human beings have the right to carve their own paths without being unduly influenced by outside interference. To deny them that right is to deny them enlightenment, as true insight cannot be conveyed in lectures. Rather, each individual must earn independence and illumination by making decisions and reflecting upon the consequences of each choice. In allowing others to walk their paths freely, you honor their right to express their humanity in whatever way they see fit. Though you may not agree with or identify with their choices, understand that each person must learn in their own way and at their own pace.

The events and circumstances that shape our lives are unique because each of us is unique. What touches one person deeply may do nothing more than irritate or confound another. Therefore, each of us is drawn to different paths—the paths that will have the most profound effects on our personal evolution. If you feel compelled to intervene when watching another human being make their way slowly and painfully down a difficult path, try to empathize with their need to grow autonomous and make their own way in the world. Should this person ask for your aid, give it freely. You can even tell them about your path or offer advice in a conscious loving way. Otherwise, give them the space they need to make their own mistakes, to enjoy the fruits of their labors, to revel in their triumphs, and to discover their own truths.

The temptation to direct the paths of others is a creature of many origins. Overactive egos can convince us that ours is the one true path or awaken a craving for control within us. But each person is entitled to seek out their path leading from the darkness into the light. When we celebrate those paths and encourage the people navigating them, we not only enjoy the privilege of watching others grow—we also reinforce our dedication to diversity, independence, and individuality. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We can be all by ourselves and still feel happy and content. What makes the difference? We feel lonely if we look to other people for something they really can’t provide. None else can give us peace of mind, an inner sense of acceptance, and serenity. And when we find ourselves alone, we needn’t feel lonely. God is with us; His presence is like a warm shawl enfolding us. The more we’re aware of ourselves as beloved by God, the more we’re able to feel content and secure — whether we’re with others or when alone. Am I experiencing a sense of God and His love at all times and in all places?

Today I Pray

May I understand that we each have our own kind of loneliness — whether we are young and friendless, old and kept waiting by death, bereft, left, running away, or just feeling out of it in a crowd. May my loneliness be eased a bit by the fact that loneliness is, indeed, a universal feeling that everyone knows first hand — even though some lives seem more empty than others. May I — and all the lonely people — take comfort in the companionship of God.

Today I Will Remember

Shared loneliness is less lonely.

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One More Day

Solitude is not measured by the miles of space that intervene between a man and his fellows.
– Henry David Thoreau

Solitude is the time we choose to be alone, but it becomes loneliness when we believe we have no choice. When we are lonely, we feel trapped in a web of isolation.

Lonely people are caught in a trap with only themselves for company. There can be a difference between loneliness and aloneness — or solitude.

We are finding ways to create solitude from loneliness. We strive to fill our lives with meaningful experiences such as work, family, hobbies, and relationships with friends. As we enrich our lives with these activities, our alone time becomes solitude — a peaceful time to withdraw from the world and into thoughts, prayers, and meditation.

A moment of solitude today can enrich and replenish me.

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One Day At A Time

The Fear of Failure

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare;
it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.”
Seneca

I was full of excuses: “I can’t start a food plan. Won't it be the same as a diet? I’m a free spirit! I don't like such restrictions! If I can’t do something perfectly, why should I even start? I do it perfectly, or I don’t do it at all! I have gone too far to ever go back to being anywhere near healthy. I don’t have time to plan my Food. I am young. I have plenty of time to worry about taking off the weight!”

These were my favorite excuses. Underlying all the excuses was the fear of failure. I did not know that true failure comes about by not ever having tried. My life circumstances never got better by ignoring my problems with food. Ignoring my condition began to complicate every aspect of my life.

This moment I have a choice. I dare to choose in the next few moments even one small thing that I can do to make my life better or more healthful.

One day at a time...
If I cannot think of anything, I will pause and ask my Higher Power to help me learn to choose.
~ January K.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

The distinguished American psychologist, William James, in his book 'Varieties of Religious Experience,' indicates a multitude of ways in which men have discovered God. We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired. If what we have learned and felt and seen means anything at all, it means that all of us, whatever our race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. Those having religious affiliations will find here nothing disturbing to their beliefs or ceremonies. There is no friction among us over such matters. - Pg. 28 - There Is A Solution

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Sometimes we are confused about what to do. But we tell people, 'Do the next right thing.' We do know what is right and what is wrong from the age of seven. Often our mind tries to muddy our thinking by making excuses or rationalizing. You really do know the right thing to do.

Higher Power, of my understanding, please let me respond to the right and wrong of my Higher Self--for the basic knowledge that was once so clear.

My Family Illness

My family has a disease and it's not me. My family drinks poison and serves poison up to each other, but I don't have to. My family chooses to deny the impact of addiction and the trauma that follows it but I don't have to. My family defends their right to stay sick but I want to get well. My family, for whatever reason, is determined to not identify the family illness that has made us all sick. But the illness stands out to me in Technicolor. I see it and I trust my own eyes.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

When you place your sponsor on a pedestal you are like a child bragging to the other kids, 'Nah, nah, nah, my sponsor is better than your sponsor!'

I don't place my sponsor on a pedestal. It is only from a high place that they can fall.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Addiction: touched by an angle. Recovery: touched by an angel.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

As I am learning to see the world through the eyes of love and compassion, I am becoming more and more full of love and compassion for myself and others.

I deserve to feel good about myself today and I am learning how.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Why I tell you how long I've been sober is that there are so many new things happening in AA that one day we might get a pension plan going here, and I want to get my full benefit! - Norm A.

[bluidkiti]

October 2

Daily Reflections

THE ACID TEST

As we work the first nine Steps, we prepare ourselves for
the adventure of a new life. But when we approach Step Ten
we commence to put our A.A. way of living to practical use,
day by day, in fair weather or foul. Then comes the acid
test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and
live to good purpose under all conditions?
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

I know the Promises are being fulfilled in my life, but I
want to maintain and develop them by the daily application
of Step Ten. I have learned through this Step that if I am
disturbed, there is something wrong with me. The other
person may be wrong too, but I can only deal with my feelings.
When I am hurt or upset, I have to continually look for the
cause in me, and then I have to admit and correct my mistakes.
It isn't easy, but as long as I know I am progressing
spiritually, I know that I can mark my effort up as a job well
done. I have found that pain is a friend; it lets me know there
is something wrong with my emotions, just as a physical pain
lets me know there is something wrong with my body. When I take
the appropriate action through the Twelve Steps, the pain
gradually goes away.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

What makes an effective talk at an A.A. meeting? It is not a
fine speech with fine choices of words and an impressive
delivery. Often a few simple words direct from the heart are
more effective than the most polished speech. There is always
a temptation to speak beyond your experience, in order to
make a good impression. This is never effective. What does not
come from the heart does not reach the heart. What comes from
personal experience and a sincere desire to help the other
person, reaches the heart. Do I speak for effect or with a deep
desire to help?

Meditation For The Day

"Thy will be done" must be your oft-repeated prayer. And in
the willing of God's will there should be gladness. You should
delight to do that will because when you do, all your life goes
right and everything tends to work out for you in the long run.
When you are honestly trying to do God's will and humbly
accepting the results, nothing can seriously hurt you. He who
accepts the will of God in his life may not inherit the earth,
but he will inherit real peace of mind.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may have a yielded will.
I pray that my will be attuned to the will of God.

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As Bill Sees It

Compelling Love, p.273

The life of each A.A. and of each group is built around our Twelve
Steps and Twelve Traditions. We know that the penalty for
extensive disobedience to these principles is death for the individual
and dissolution for the group. But an even greater force for
A.A.'s unity is our compelling love for our fellow members and for
our principles.

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You might think the people at A.A.'s headquarters in New York
would surely have to have some personal authority. But, long ago,
trustees and secretaries alike found they could do no more than
make very mild suggestions to the A.A. groups.

They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go into half
the letters they write: "Of course you are at perfect liberty to
handle this matter any way you please. But the majority experience
in A.A. does seem to suggest . . ."

A.A. world headquarters is not a giver of orders. It is, instead, our
largest transmitter of the lessons of experience.

1. Twelve Concepts, p.8
2. 12 & 12, pp. 173-174

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Walk In Dry Places

Living or Waiting?
Using time wisely
What is the real secret of living 24 hours at a time? Isn't it really a
matter of feeling completely comfortable in the present rather than
believing that happiness depends on something in the future?
Whatever our situation today, it's something we must life through and
deal with effectively. We may be overlooking many wonderful things
in our present life simply because we believe we need some exciting
experience that can only come later on.
We also might be overlooking present opportunities because we're
spending too much time in the past. The past, whether it was god or
bad, is beyond our control.
Our mission is to live effectively and happily today. We can do this
best when we realize that yesterday and tomorrow don't really exist...
today is all we can be sure of.
I'll live today in the present, handling every problem as well as I can
and enjoying every experience that comes to me.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

. . .and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.---Second half of Step Ten
We are human. We make mistakes. This is half the fun of being human.
Step Ten clearly tell us what to do when we are wrong: admit it. This
keeps us honest. It keeps us from hiding secrets that could cause us to
use alcohol or other drugs again.
Trust the gift we get from Step Ten. When we admit our wrongs, people
start to trust us again. We feel good, and people feel good being around us.
Even when they don’t like how we act, they can trust us to run our lives.
No one will ever be prefect. The closet we get is that we admit it when
we’re wrong. This is as good as it gets.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me admit my wrongs. Help me
earn the trust of others by being honest about my mistakes.
Action for the Day: I will list any wrongs I’ve done today. That way,
I’ll start tomorrow fresh and without any burdens from today.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep. --Agnes Meyer
Deep roots offer strength and stability to an organism. They
nourish it plentifully. They anchor it when the fierce winds blow.
We each are offered the gifts of roots when we give ourselves
fully to the program.
We are never going to face, alone, any difficult situation after
discovering recovery. Never again need we make any decision
in isolation. Help is constant. Guidance through companionship
with others and our contacts with God will always be as close as
our requests. The program anchors us; every prayer we make,
every step we take, nourishes the roots we are developing.
Becoming rooted in the program, with daily attention to the
nourishment we need, offers us sanity and hope. We discover
that all things can be handled; no situation is too much for us.
Strength, confidence, freedoms from fear are the benefits of
our deepening roots. We will be anchored if we do what needs
to be done by us. The program's gifts are ours, only if we work
the program.
I won't neglect my roots today. I will nourish them so they in
turn can fill me up with confidence when my need is there.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

The same principle applies in dealing with the children. Unless they actually need protection from their father, it is best not to take sides in any argument he has with them while drinking. Use your energies to promote a better understanding all around. Then that terrible tension which grips the home of every problem drinker will be lessened.

p. 115

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

I grew up feeling as if I was the only thing keeping my family together. This, compounded by the fear of not being good enough, was a lot of pressure for a little girl. Everything changed with my first drink at the age of sixteen. All the fear, shyness, and disease evaporated with the first burning swallow of bourbon straight from the bottle during a liquor cabinet raid at a slumber party. I got drunk, blacked out, threw up, had dry heaves, was sick to death the next day, and I knew I would do it again. For the first time, I felt part of a group without having to be perfect to get approval.

pp. 328-329

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Nine - "Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others."

Above all, we should try to be absolutely sure that we are not delaying because we are afraid. For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.

p. 87

************************************************** *********

Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold
you up and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes it's just enough to
know they're standing by.
--Elizabeth Foley

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes
misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate."
--Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)

"In the hope of reaching the moon men fail to see the flowers that blossom at their feet."
--Albert Schweitzer (1875-1965)

When we do the best that we can, we never know what miracle is wrought in our life, or in
the life of another.
--Helen Keller

"God, I do believe in Your power and Your wisdom. Your glory is far
greater than I could ever envision, and I am thankful to be within the circle of your
ever-renewing life."
--©2000 by Unity School of Christianity

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

REALITY

"The books that the world calls
immoral are the books that show
the world its own shame."
-- Oscar Wilde

In my addiction I avoided things that I did not like, did not want to consider. I hid from life
and condemned things I did not wish to understand. My ego created a hypocritical purity
that enabled me to judge, condemn and abuse the thoughts and ideas of those I
considered inferior to myself.

Today I try to live and let live. I do this not to avoid conflict or criticism but because I
have found, through experience, how my ideas and attitudes have changed during my
years of recovery. People who I would have condemned to Hell have now become my
friends and mentors. Concepts and lifestyles that were once abhorrent to me are now
appreciated and inspiring. What was once dismissed as immoral is today, for me, a part of
life.

God of Truth and Reality, help me to accept the difference that is in others.

************************************************** *********

May my meditation be pleasing to Him as I rejoice in the Lord.
Psalm 104:34

"Lord, I believe."
John 9:38

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

The condition of your heart is reflected in your face. Lord, help me to
remove all harsh feelings from within my soul so that I will radiate
love and kindness and others can feel safe in seeking me out.

If you exercise your mind, your spirit will never get old. Lord, give
me the ability to rise above my worldly burdens and ability to always
make things a little better.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Keeping faith
Page 288

"We grasp the limitless strength provided for us through our daily prayer and surrender as long as we keep faith and renew it."

Basic Text, p.46

There are two parts to recovery: getting clean, and staying clean. Getting clean is comparatively easy because we only have to do it once. Staying clean is more difficult, requiring attention every day of our lives. Yet both draw their power from faith.

We got clean on faith. We admitted that addiction was more powerful than we were, and we stopped trying to fight it on our own. We turned the battle over to a Power greater than ourselves, and that Higher Power got us clean. We stay clean each day the same way: on faith. Just for today, we surrender. Life may be too big for us to tackle on our own power. When it is, we seek a Power greater than ourselves. We pray, asking our Higher Power for direction and the strength to follow it. By exercising and renewing our faith on a daily basis, we tap the resources we need to live clean, full lives.

There is limitless strength available to us whenever we need it. To grasp it, all we need to do is keep faith in the Higher Power that got us clean and keeps us clean.

Just for Today: Faith got me clean, and faith will keep me clean. Today, I will keep faith with my Higher Power. I will renew my surrender and pray for knowledge and strength.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Stars have always helped me to get things into perspective . . . I tried to let the starlight heal something deep in me that hurt. --Madeleine L'Engle
For a long time, people have used stars to find their way in the dark. Many a lost soul has been guided by the North Star or the Big Dipper.
If we watch the sky at night, we can see thousands of twinkling stars. They are our friends. They remind us how small we are. They remind us of the vastness of the universe, of the power and beauty that surround us.
Starlight in the sky, or reflected on a lake, can comfort us when we hurt. With safe and open arms, nature accepts our sorrow, no matter how we express it. Starlight, like all of nature, reflects a light that comes from way beyond us. It is that light that heals us in a deep and quiet way.
How has nature comforted me when I am troubled?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
One ought, each day at least, to hear a little song, read a good poem, see a fine picture and, if possible, speak, a few reasonable words. --Goethe
A spiritual man can nourish his growing spirit through enriching and beautiful experiences. Such experiences might be quiet meditation, reading something, which provides ideas to ponder, conversation with a friend, or listening to music. Men have been taught to focus on things more than on people, on goals and achievement, and we neglect to provide ourselves with nourishment for our minds and souls.
Life's experiences include joy and beauty and pain and grief. If we are uplifted every day by beauty in its many forms, we are strengthened and carried along to meet the tougher parts of our day. We may need to push some other things aside to have it. Perhaps some jobs can wait until tomorrow, and we can linger over a meal with our loved ones. Maybe mowing the lawn or fixing the car isn't as important as a half-hour of good music. Do we make space for nourishing moments in each day?
I am grateful for the beauty all around. Help me keep life more balanced so I can receive the spiritual nourishment it provides.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Fortunate are the people whose roots are deep. --Agnes Meyer
Deep roots offer strength and stability to an organism. They nourish it plentifully. They anchor it when the fierce winds blow. We each are offered the gifts of roots when we give ourselves fully to the program.
We are never going to face, alone, any difficult situation after discovering recovery. Never again need we make any decision in isolation. Help is constant. Guidance through companionship with others and our contacts with God will always be as close as our requests. The program anchors us; every prayer we make, every step we take, nourishes the roots we are developing.
Becoming rooted in the program, with daily attention to the nourishment we need, offers us sanity and hope. We discover that all things can be handled; no situation is too much for us. Strength, confidence, freedoms from fear are the benefits of our deepening roots. We will be anchored if we do what needs to be done by us. The program's gifts are ours, only if we work the program.
I won't neglect my roots today. I will nourish them so they in turn can fill me up with confidence when my need is there.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Coping with Families
There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on a different basis.
There is no one or perfect way to deal with members of our family in recovery. It is up to each of us to choose a path that suits us and our needs at each point in time.
The idea that is new to us in recovery is that we can choose. We can set the boundaries we need to set with family members. We can choose a path that works for us, without guilt and obligation or undue influence from any source, including recovery professionals.
Our goal is to detach in love with family members. Our goal is to be able to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, and live healthy lives despite what family members do or don't do. We decide what boundaries or decisions are necessary to do this.
It's okay to say no to our families when that is what we want. It's okay to say yes to our families if that feels right. It's okay to call time out and it's okay to go back as a different person.
God, help me choose the path that is right for me with family. Help me understand there is no right or wrong in this process. Help me strive for forgiveness and learn to detach with love, whenever possible. I understand that this never implies that I have to forfeit self-care and health for the good of the system.


As I am learning to see the world through the eyes of love and compassion, I am becoming more and more full of love and compassion for myself and others. I deserve to feel good about myself today and I am learning how. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 2
Trust the Unknown

Look! See how much you’ve changed. See the difference in your perspective.

Remember all those years you were so fearful, trying to peek ahead, trying to see what the future held. Remember how upset you got, how uncertain and abandoned you felt because you didn’t know the plan.

Now life has taken you to a new place, a new place for you but a place that is ancient. All along, you were not supposed to be getting the answers about what the future held. You were supposed to be learning the magical way of trust and inner guidance, learning to feel your way through, trusting and committing to your vision, your energy, your purpose, your place, each day and moment along the way. You were supposed to be learning to allow the universe to magically unfold and trust that it would. You have been learning this lesson. You have been learning it well.

See how you delight in life’s magic now, the surprises, the not knowing, the absolute trust in the universe to bring you your answers, manifest your visions, and help you when you can’t quite see. See how much you cherish your relationship to the universe, a relationship so much broader and more encompassing, so much more vital that you could ever before imagine. See how joyfully you walk your path, enjoying all the sights, opening your heart to loved one and strangers.

See how benevolent it really is when you are not able to see ahead. Not knowing has taught you about life’s magic. It has connected you to yourself and to the universe. It has connected you to God.

Not knowing has taught you to know more than you could ever imagine.

*****

more language of letting go
Manifest your reality

In the skydiving world, at drop zones, there's usually a small office where the sky diver goes. This office or place is called manifest. The potential sky diver must submit the ticket and be assigned to a particular flight. Sometimes things happen. The winds might pick up, canceling that particular flight. The sky might cloud over. Something could happen that would change that sky diver's mind about getting on the plane. But for all purposes, once you've been to manifest, you're going to be at the door of the airplane looking down 12,500 feet with a group of sky divers yelling at you to jump.

If you don't want to be at that door, trying to let go and wondering how you got yourself there, don't make the trip to manifest.

It's easy to see how events get manifested in the skydiving world. Sometimes it's more difficult to see the manifest office in our daily lives.

"How did I get here," we say, looking around at the city we live in, the person we married, or the job we have. Of course, destiny and our Higher Power play a large part in where we are.

But so do we.

Choices we make lead us along. The big decisions we make help shape our destiny. Our thoughts, intentions, and inagination have more to do with shaping our present moment that we could ever imagine.

The problem is that usually there's a gap between our intentions or behavior and seeing them manifest in reality. By the time an event takes place, we've forgotten that B happened because we did A. It's difficult to see the progressive effect of the many choices we make in a day.

I'm not saying that we create everything that happens to us. We don't have that much power. But God alone didn't send a lot of the stuff that comes our way. We created much of it ourselves.

Be aware of the words you use, especially those combined with powerful emotions or will. If we're going to manifest something in reality, let's make it good.

God, show me the creative powers I possess, especially my power to manifest events in my life. Teach me to use these powers to create harmony and beauty in the world.

*****

Hidden Gems
Experiences We Don't Understand

Sometimes we have an experience that we don’t understand, but if we look deeply, or wait long enough, a reason for that experience will usually reveal itself. All the events in our lives lead to other events, and all that we have manifested in this present moment is the result of past events and experiences. We cannot easily tease apart the many threads that have been woven together to create our current reality. Experiences that don’t make sense, as well as any that we regret, are just as responsible for the good things in our lives as the experiences we do understand or label as "good."

This is especially important to remember at times when we feel directionless or unsure of what to do. It is often at times like these that we take a job or move to a place without really knowing if it’s the right thing to do. We may ultimately end up leaving the job or the place, but often during that time we will have met someone who becomes an important friend, or we may have an experience that changes us in a profound way. When all the pieces of our life don’t quite make sense, we can remember that there may be some hidden gem of a reason that we are where we are having the experiences we are having.

It’s fun to look back on past experiences with an eye to uncovering those gems—the dreadful temporary job in a bland office building that introduced you to the love of your life; the roommate you couldn’t tolerate who gave you a book that changed your life; the time spent living in a city you didn’t like that led you into a deeper relationship with yourself. Remembering these past experiences can restore our faith in the present. Life is full of buried treasures. Chances are, you’re sitting on some right now. Published with permission from Daily OM

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

An entire philosophy of life is condensed in the slogan Live and Let Live. First we’re urged to live fully, richly and happily — to fulfill our destiny with the joy that comes from doing well whatever we do. Then comes a more difficult challenge: Let live. This means accepting the right of every other person to live as he or she wishes, without criticism or judgement from us. The slogan rules out contempt for those who don’t think as we do. It also warns against resentments, reminding us not to interpret other people’s actions as intentional injuries to us. Am I becoming less tempted to involve my mind with thoughts of how others act or live?

Today I Pray

May I live my life to the fullest, understanding that pure pleasure-seeking is not pleasure-finding, but that God’s goodness is here to be shared. May I partake of it. May I learn not to take over the responsibility for another adult decisions; that is my old controlling self trying , just one more time, to be the executive director of other people’s lives.

Today I Will Remember

Live and Let Live.

************************************

One More Day

God wrote His loveliest poem on this day
He made the first tall, poplar tree,
And set it high upon a pale-gold hill
For all the now enchanted earth to see.
– Grace Noll

Autumn was such a wonderful time when we were youngsters. Raking meant gleefully jumping into mountains of leaves and later gathering with our families to watch the blazing piles.

We can still enjoy the trees and leaves around us. If we take time to observe even a single leaf, we will again be surprised as its beauty, its perfection. The golden or red or brown leaf is a small part of nature’s balance.

We enjoyed trees before; we can find multiple ways to enjoy them now. Like all of the world around us, the leaves lend color, beauty, and meaning to our lives, if we only look.

All natural beauty deserves a second look before I turn away.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

COMPULSIONS

“All human actions have one or more of these seven causes:
chance, nature, compulsion, habit, reason, passion, desire.”
Aristotle

When I was eating compulsively, it was similar to taking nitrous oxide at my dentist. Like a heavy anesthesia, the food comforted me and gave me an extraordinary sense of well-being. Like many short-term cures for what is bothering us, it took its toll. Any resemblance to reality while in the fog of compulsive eating is purely coincidental. While there may be times in my life I needed anesthesia, to use it day in and day out to block emotional pain is a burden only compulsive eaters know about.

Compulsion is self-will gone berserk. I try to think of it as the opposite of effortless abstinence. Between the two are miles and miles of varying experiences. For me there was never moderation ... only the two extremes. It took several years of squeaky clean abstinence to trust myself and begin to try moderation in eating. At that point I had learned to recognize and be aware of the dangers of that first compulsive bite. There have been times when this cunning disease always waiting to pounce has sent me straight back to hell as a result of that one single compulsive bite.

One day at a time...
I will pray that my actions are caused by anything except compulsions.

~ Mari

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We found that as soon as we were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which is God. - Pg. 46 - We Agnostics

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

How do we know that this process of sobriety is valid for us? We all ask this at one time or another. But we need to give the program time. How long has addiction had? Months, years, decades? Ask this same question at the same time, next year. Why not judge the effect on your life then when there is an 'effect' to judge?

Higher Power, as I understand You, grant me the ability to stay clean and sober today, so in future 'todays' I will be able to judge the effect of sobriety.

A Reservoir of Peace Within Me

I have a reservoir of peace within me into which I can retreat for safety. There is peace in the heart of God. Today I rest in the awareness that God's presence is in my heart and that is where I can go for shelter. I will bring all of my consciousness into my heart and become one with God consciousness. I can feel safe from whatever is happening around me if I do this. I can feel protected when I go here. I can tolerate what I previously thought was intolerable if I know where to go to find shelter, to find peace, to find love.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

The greatest fault of all is to be conscious of none.

Referring to my list again, I put out of my mind the wrongs others have done, and look at what my part is. (adapted from the AA Big Book, P 67)

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

The longer you've been in recovery, the more successful you've been in the past.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I choose to be in places and situations and with people where I feel good about myself.

I deserve to feel good and I trust that my heart will tell me where to go.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them. - Albert Einstein. ] = 'Early Bird promises for the first year: You will continually know what city, state, and country you are in; You'll answer the door with reckless abandon; You will have a solid bowel motion - Some people think that's their first spiritual experience. - Ken D.

[bluidkiti]

October 3

Daily Reflections

SERENITY AFTER THE STORM

Someone who knew what he was talking about once remarked that
pain was the touchstone of all spiritual progress. How heartily
we A.A.'s can agree with him. . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p p. 93-94

When on the roller coaster of emotional turmoil, I remember that
growth is often painful. My evolution in the A.A. program has
taught me that I must experience the inner change, however painful,
that eventually guides me from selfishness to selflessness. If I
am to have serenity, I must STEP my way past emotional turmoil and
its subsequent hangover, and be grateful for continuing spiritual
progress.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

How do I talk with new prospects? Am I always trying to dominate
the conversation? Do I lay down the law and tell prospects what
they will have to do? Do I judge them privately and feel that they
have small chance of making the program? Do I belittle them to
myself? Or am I willing to bare my soul so as to get them talking
about themselves? And, then, am I willing to be a good listener,
not interrupting, but hearing them out to the end? Do I feel deeply
that they are my brothers or my sisters? Will I do all I can to help
them along the path to sobriety?

Meditation For The Day

"The work of righteousness shall be peace and the effect of
righteousness shall be quietness and assurance forever." Only
when the soul attains this calm, can there be true spiritual work
done, and mind and soul and body be strong to conquer and bear all
things. Peace is the result of righteousness. There is no peace in
wrong doing, but if we live the way God wants us to live, quietness
and assurance follow. Assurance is that calmness born of a deep
certainty of God's strength available to us and in His power to love
and guard us from all harm and wrong doing.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may attain a state of true calmness.
I pray that I may live in quietness and peace.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Going It Alone, p. 274

Going it alone in spiritual matters is dangerous. How many times
have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God
when it was plain that they were mistaken? Lacking both practice
and humility, they deluded themselves and were so able to justify
the most arrant nonsense on the ground that this was what God had
told them.

People of very high spiritual development almost always insist on
checking with friends or spiritual advisers the guidance they feel
they have received from God. Surely, then, a novice ought not lay
himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic,
blunders. While the comment or advice of others may not be
infallible, it is likely to be far more specific than any direct guidance
we may receive while we are still inexperienced in establishing
contact with a Power greater than ourselves.

12 & 12, p. 60

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Proving Ourselves
Self-esteem
Long after a bitter failure, some of us still cling to the hope that we
can erase the defeat in some spectacular way. One dream is to
“prove ourselves” to those who scorned us or put us down.
This never really works, even when we do become winners at some
later time. For one thing, we may be proving ourselves to people
who never will like us. If we are striving to show others that we
can succeed, we are still dancing to their tune. We are accepting
their idea of what success should be.
Many of us failed simply because we were alcoholics and could do
no better. We might have destroyed opportunities that will never
rise again. But by finding sobriety, we may already have proved
ourselves to those who really count in our lives...... Including ourselves.
I can prove today that the Twelve Step program works and that a
loving Higher Power is present in my life.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

That which is called firmness I a king is called stubbornness in a
donkey. ---Lord Erskine
“Rigid” is a fancy word for “stubborn.” We act this way because
of our fear. When we’re afraid, we hang on to what we’re used to
doing. Our illness had us so scared, we were afraid of the new ideas
and new people. The only thing that didn’t scare us was using alcohol
or other drugs.
We also were stubborn when anyone tried to help us. We thought we
knew what was best. How silly our stubborn actions made us look!
How lonely they kept us.
But our stubborn behavior can teach us about our fears. We need to
be aware our stubbornness. Then we’ll be able to find out what we’re
afraid of---and do something about it.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me know when I’m stubborn.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll work at accepting my stubbornness.
I will use it to learn what I am afraid of today.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Ambiguity means admitting more than one response to a situation and
allowing yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may
want something and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful
and ugly. --Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others,
and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to
what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding
of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them, need not
create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to
pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must
keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time,
but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many
opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others,
keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push
us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

Frequently, you have felt obliged to tell your husband’s employer and his friends that he was sick, when as a matter of fact he was tight. Avoid answering these inquiries as much as you can. Whenever possible, let your husband explain. Your desire to protect him should not cause you to lie to people when they have a right to know where he is and what he is doing. Discuss this with him when he is sober and in good spirits. Ask him what you should do if he places you in such a position again. But be careful not to be resentful about the last time he did so.

pp. 115-116

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

I went through college on scholarships, work study programs, and student loans. Classes and work kept me too busy to do much drinking, plus I was engaged to a boy who was not alcoholic. However, I broke off our relationship during my senior year, after discovering drugs, sex, and rock n' roll--companions to my best friend, alcohol. I proceeded to explore all that the late sixties and early seventies offered. After backpacking around Europe, I decided to settle in a large city.

p. 329

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

As we work the first nine Steps, we prepare ourselves for the adventure of a new life. But when we approach Step Ten we commence to put our A.A. way of living to practical use, day by day, in fair weather or foul. Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?

p. 88

************************************************** *********

One of the most time-consuming things is to have an enemy.
--E. B. White

Love your enemies. It will drive them nuts.
--Eleanor Doan

"A keen sense of humor helps us to overlook the unbecoming,
understand the unconventional, tolerate the unpleasant,
overcome the unexpected, and outlast the unbearable."
--Billy Graham

"We're still not where we're going, but we're not where we were."
--Natasha Jasefowitz

"Behavioral researcher Shad Helmstetter, in his book "Choice," says,
'When we meet someone who seems to have a good attitude about everything,
that really isn't the case. The person simply has made a lot of independent
choices to have a
good attitude about many individual things." Remember, a positive outlook is a
choice - and the decision is yours."
--Neil Eskelin

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

FREEDOM

"Freedom is not enough. "
-- Lyndon B. Johnson

The gift of freedom requires the acknowledgment of the benefactor, God. To experience
freedom without realizing its source is to miss the point; freedom requires responsibility.

When I was drinking, I demanded freedom without responsibility and I suffered. I created
in freedom my own horror stories. I hurt others because I did not respect in them what I
demanded for myself and slowly, ever so slowly, freedom slipped away.

Today I believe that my spiritual program reinforces my responsibility for my life. God
has created me with free will and I need to respect this gift in others. If I do not respect
others, I will never receive it. Dignity is a two way street.

Thank You for the freedom to experience myself in my treatment of my neighbor.

************************************************** *********

Look to the Lord and his strength; seek His face always.
Psalm 105:4

Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him.
Psalm 126:5-6

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Be like a star and make your best even better. Lord, source of my joy, if I
am shining I will brighten the day for both myself and those around me.

There is a time for everything. Take time to pray, to sing, to laugh, to work
and to touch the hearts of others. Lord, help me be aware that today will never
return so that I will not misuse my time or waste it unwisely.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Page 289

"Our egos, once so large and dominant, now take a back seat because we are in harmony with a loving God. We find that we lead richer, happier, and much fuller lives when we lose self-will."

Basic Text, p.105

Addiction and self-will go hand in hand. The unmanageability that we admitted to in Step One was as much a product of our self-will as it was of our chronic drug abuse. And today, living on self-will can make our lives just as unmanageable as they were when we were using. When our ideas, our desires, our demands take first place in our lives, we find ourselves in constant conflict with everyone and everything around us.

Self-will reflects our reliance on ego. The only thing that will free us from self-will and the conflict it generates in our lives is to break our reliance on ego, coming to rely instead on the guidance and power offered us by a loving God.

We are taught to consult spiritual principles, not our selfish desires, in making our decisions. We are taught to seek guidance from a Higher Power, one with a larger vision of things than our own. In doing this, we find our lives meshing more and more easily with the order of things around us. No longer do we exclude ourselves from the flow of life; we become a part of it, and discover the fullness of what recovery has to offer.

Just for Today: I seek freedom from ego and the conflicts generated by self-will. I will try to improve my conscious contact with the God of my understanding, seeking the guidance and power I need to live in harmony with my world.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
How easy the breath that kills a flame,
How hard to kindle that light again.
Cold words kill and kind words kindle,
By words withheld a dream may dwindle.
--Joan Walsh Anglund
How we treat the people we live with affects the happiness of our family. Just as a breath can blow out a flame, a mean remark can cast a shadow across a brother or sister's heart. People of all ages have left dreams behind because no one encouraged them. They are like candles snuffed out.
On the other hand, if we see a friend or family member feeling good about something they have done, we can learn to be happy for them. If we notice their excitement and encourage them with kind and sincere words, it will help their candle burn brighter. Sharing the happiness of others will make our own candles burn brighter, and it always feels good when we receive kind words ourselves.
In what ways can I bring light and warmth with my words today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
You should not have your own idea when you listen to someone.... To have nothing in your mind is naturalness. Then you will understand what he says. --Shunryu Suzuki
A man who is mistrustful and self-centered has difficulty listening to someone else. Perhaps a woman we are close to wants to be understood by us. But we do not hear her on her own terms because we are so intensely involved with our own shame. So we react to our feelings of guilt rather than really hearing what she wants to say about her experience. Or we may be so worried about who has control that we fail to receive the information we are being given. Then we respond with "Yes, but..."
True learning comes - like true intimacy - when we have an open mind. As we detach ourselves, separate from our own ego, we hear the other person better and grow more intimate.
May I learn to set aside my own self-centeredness. Today, I will grow more if I set my ego aside when others are talking to me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Ambiguity means admitting more than one response to a situation and allowing yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may want something and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful and ugly. --Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them, need not create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time, but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting Through the Discomfort
Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way. --Beyond Codependency
Our goal in recovery is to make us feel comfortable, peaceful, and content. Happy. We want to be at peace with our environment and ourselves. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.
I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation. When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
Sometimes the process hurts. We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side. Help me, God; be open to feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy. While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by my friends, my Higher Power, the Universe, and myself.


I choose to be in places and situations and with people where I feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good and I trust that my heart will tell me where to go. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 3
Finish Unfinished Business

Finish your business with people. Unfinished business with others is the highest block to an open heart, the biggest block to peace and joy.

The tangled cords that bind us to the past are easy to find. All we need do is become quiet and listen to the voice of our heart. Who do we resent? Who are we angry with? Hurt by? Who are the people we aren’t at peace with? That’s our unfinished business, the unfinished business of the heart.

Look deep inside. Find your secrets. Find your not-quite-finished pieces. Then discover what you need to finish. Often, the answer is only a breath away– a breath of fresh air, a breath of forgiveness, a breath of love. Take that breath. Let the past go. Let it go in peace, thankful for all you’ve learned along the way.

Tie up your loose ends. Heal your connection to others and your heart by finishing unfinished business. Then you’ll be free to move on. And you can go forward in peace.

*****

more language of letting go
Be aware of your intentions

Your inner self is literal and does not understand ambiguity so whenever you direct it to manifest your desires, give it absolutely literal instructions... Your natural self is quite fond of accomplishing the tasks you give it. It loves to display its skills and perform for you and others, and can do nearly anything (within the realm of possibility and probability) that you can conceive.
--Enid Hoffman

Be clear on your intentions.

Intentions are more than mere wishes. An intention is will mixed with emotions and desire. For instance, I can sit here and wish the house were cleaner. When I put all else aside, take my frustration about the mess and channel it into energy and my desire for tidiness, I can say, "I will spend one hour straightening up."

Sometimes we make our intentions known to other people. For instance, we might start dating someone, and it's our intention to eventually marry. Intentions can turn into manipulation when we don't make them clear. They can also involve control, in the worse sense, when they involve changing the free will of someone else.

The best place to start is by making our intentions clear to ourselves. What do you want? In regards to your life situations, like work or finances, what are your intentions?

Sometimes our good intentions can run totally amok. For instance, you might intend to get a person sober, but they may have no desire to sober up. We can avoid a lot of painful manipulations, if we're clear about our intentions.

Watch yourself as you go through life encountering different situations. Do you have an agenda? Do you even know what it is? Sometimes our intentions are less than conscious, hidden right below the surface. For instance, we may have an intention to get married and have someone support us so we don't have to support ourselves. Are someone else's intentions influencing your own?

When you start any project, a new relationship, or just a new day, spend a moment and get quiet. Be clear with yourself and others on what your intentions are. Then surrender those intentions to God.

God, please help me align my intentions and desires with your highest good will for my life.

*****

Fresh and Unfixed
There Is Only Now

It can be easy for us to walk through the world and our lives without really being present. While dwelling on the past and living for the future are common pastimes, it is physically impossible to live anywhere but the present moment. We cannot step out our front door and take a left turn to May of last year, any more than we can take a right turn to December 2015. Nevertheless, we can easily miss the future we are waiting for as it becomes the now we are too busy to pay attention to. We then spend the rest of our time playing “catch up” to the moment that we just let pass by. During moments like these, it is important to remember that there is only Now.

In order to feel more at home in the present moment, it is important to try to stay aware, open, and receptive. Being in the present moment requires our full attention so that we are fully awake to experience it. When we are fully present, our minds do not wander. We are focused on what is going on right now, rather than thinking about what just happened or worrying about what is going to happen next. Being present lets us experience each moment in our lives in a way that cannot be fully lived through memory or fantasy.

When we begin to corral our attention into the present moment, it can be almost overwhelming to be here. There is a state of stillness that has to happen that can take some getting used to, and the mind chatter that so often gets us into our heads and out of the present moment doesn’t have as much to do. We may feel a lack of control because we aren’t busy planning our next move, assessing our current situation, or anticipating the future. Instead, being present requires that we be flexible, creative, attentive, and spontaneous. Each present moment is completely new, and nothing like it has happened or will ever happen again. As you move through your day, remember to stay present in each moment. In doing so, you will live your life without having to wait for the future or yearn for the past. Life happens to us when we happen to life in the Now.

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I’ve learned in The Program that I’m wholly powerless over my addiction. At long last, I’ve conceded my powerlessness; as a result, my life has taken a 180-degree turn for the better. However, I do have a power, derived from God, to change my own life. I’ve learned that acceptance does not mean submission to an unpleasant or degrading situation. It means accepting the reality of the situation and then deciding what, if anything, I can and will do about it. Have I stopped trying to control the uncontrollable? Am I gaining the courage to change the things I can?

Today I Pray

I ask my Higher Power for direction as I learn to sort out the things I can change from the things I can’t, for that sorting process does, indeed, require God-given wisdom. May “the things I cannot change” not give me and excuse for inaction. May “the things I can” not include managing other people’s lives. May I start to understand my own reality.

Today I Will Remember

Acceptance is not inaction. Change is not domination.

************************************

One More Day

Most of all, we seek to help them rise to what for most is the supreme challenge of their lives, by developing and enjoying their unique personalities to the fullest.
– Bernie S. Siegel

Just living life, not enjoying it, is a tread-water posture some of us adopt in our lives. Afraid to get “too involved” in living, we wait for the sorts to occur. We look for a guide, a leader, to direct our path to physical and spiritual survival.

At first, we may be devastated when we realize that no one else can direct us, guide us, or lead us out of the maze of emotions that accompanies a chronic illness. Others can help, but only if we lead. Gradually we’re finding a unique strength within us, one we’d not known before, that enables us to direct our physical and spiritual programs with greater confidence.

I am on a continuing journey to accept the challenges of my life. Allowing my unique personality to surface is the beginning.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

TRUTH

"The truth will set you free,
but first it will make you miserable."
James A. Garfield

After years of therapy, I thought I knew myself fairly well. I prided myself on my integrity, honesty and responsible nature; however, my morbid obesity and compulsive overeating reflected the exact opposite of these values. After breaking many resolutions to myself, starting and stopping countless diets, and continuing to have no control over my eating, I began to doubt my integrity. How could I keep a commitment to everyone I knew and yet break my promises to myself over and over again? It wasn't until in a moment of frustrated clarity I blurted out, "I'm acting like an addict!" Finally I experienced my own truth.

I am an addict. I am addicted to food. I use food to fill the gaping black hole within me. I use food to anesthetize my pain. As a compulsive overeater, I stuff my face rather than face my stuff.

Working the Steps allowed me to see that even though I thought I valued honesty, I was constantly lying to myself about my compulsive eating. Becoming abstinent from compulsive eating removed the veils of delusion and dishonesty that I had over my eyes. Living this program, one day at a time, freed me from compulsive lying to myself as well as compulsive eating. Telling the truth, while sometimes very difficult, has let me live happy, joyously, and free.

One day at a time...
I will work the Steps honestly, tell the truth about my life, and be the person of integrity my Higher Power always intended for me to be.
~ Bernadette B.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

If we have been thorough about our personal inventory, we have written down a lot. We have listed and analyzed our resentments. We have begun to comprehend their futility and their fatality. We have commenced to see their terrible destructiveness. We have begun to learn tolerance, patience and good will toward all men, even our enemies, for we look on them as sick people. We have listed the people we have hurt by our conduct, and are willing to straighten out the past if we can. - Pg. 70 - How It Works

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Service to another addict/alcoholic or to our group can help calm us when the jitters get rough. Think of one other fellow recoverer who also seemed jittery at the last meeting or maybe didn't show up. You can get in touch with them today and ask if you can help.

God, as I understand You, give me the right words to comfort or to encourage a fellow recoverer.

Detaching With Love

I need to detach with love from those I care about who are still mired in this disease. When I detach with resentment, it is not detachment, it keeps me preoccupied and connected. When I amputate it is not detachment, I get phantom limb, I still hurt and am haunted by something missing. When I detach by ignoring, shoving or running, it is simply the other side of enmeshment and eventually I get hooked in again. Today I will detach with love. I am grateful to have found recovery. I will allow others the dignity of their own path. If I teach, it will be by example.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Stop looking for the differences. People who matter, don't mind; people who mind, don't matter.

No matter my age, race, religion or chemical, I am more alike my fellow addicts than different.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

A signpost, like a peer, only warns you about the road ahead. But a map, like a sponsor can show you how to get where you want to go.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I can wait until all negative and hostile feelings lose their power over me before I say or do anything.

I can take the time to breathe in peace and love, no matter what is going on in my life.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I don't wish to become a member of any club which will have me as a member. - Groucho Marx.

[bluidkiti]

October 4

Daily Reflections

A NECESSARY PRUNING

. . . . we know that the pains of drinking had to come
before sobriety, and emotional turmoil before serenity.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 94

I love spending time in my garden feeding and pruning my
beautiful flowers. One day, as I was busily snipping away,
a neighbor stopped by. She commented, "Oh! Your plants are
so beautiful, it seems such a shame to cut them back." I
replied, "I know how you feel, but the excess must be
removed so they can grow stronger and healthier." Later I
thought that perhaps my plants feel pain, but God and I
know it's part of the plan and I've seen the results. I
was quickly reminded of my precious A.A. program and how
we all grow through pain. I ask God to prune me when it's
time, so I can grow.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Am I critical of other members of A.A. or of new prospects?
Do I ever say about other members: "I don't think they're
sincere, I think they're bluffing, or I think they're taking
a few drinks on the quiet?" Do I realize that my doubtful
and skeptical attitude is hurting those members, if only in
my attitude toward them, which they cannot help sensing? Do
I say about new prospects: "They'll never make the program,"
or do I say: "They'll only last a few months?" If I take
this attitude, I am unconsciously hurting those
prospects' chances. Is my attitude always constructive and
never destructive?

Meditation For The Day

To be attracted toward God and a better life, you must be
spirit-guided. There is wonderful illumination of thought
given to those who are spirit-guided. To those who are
material-guided, there is nothing in God or a finer life to
appeal to them or to attract them. But to those who are
spirit-guided there is strength and peace and calm to be
found in communion with an Unseen Lord. To those who believe
in this God they cannot see but whose power they can feel,
life has a meaning and purpose. They are children of the
Unseen Lord, and all human beings are their brothers and
sisters.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be spirit-guided.
I pray that I may feel God's presence and power in my life.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Recovery Through Giving, p.275

For a new prospect, outline the program of action, explaining how
you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past, and
why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important
for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a
vital part in your own recovery. Actually, he may be helping you
more than you are helping him. Make it plain that he is under no
obligation to you.

********************************

In the first six months of my own sobriety, I worked hard with
many alcoholics. Not a one responded. Yet this work kept me
sober. It wasn't a question of those alcoholics giving me anything.
My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I
receive.

1. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.94
2. Grapevine, January 1958

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Deserving Success
Achievements
It's said that alcoholics sometimes snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
Some of us, deep down inside, don't really think we deserve success. We
might be discouraged by feelings of guilt or low self-esteem, or perhaps
we don't want to become targets of envy or competitive attacks.
We need to practice acceptance of our current situation, always believing
that we do have a right to achievements that match our talents and experience,
indeed, such achievements may only be possible now that we're sober and
thinking rightly.
Some people think that our occupations and our program are separate matters.
But the very last idea in the 12 Steps is to practice our principles "in all our affairs."
If we take the view that any useful work is a form of service, we'll find opportunities
to be beneficial to everyone. With that attitude, we will also realize that we deserve success.
I ‘ll know today that I have a right to do well in any legitimate activity for which I am qualified.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

Your three best doctors are faith, time, and patience.---From a fortune cookie
Only a short time ago, we were very sick. Getting sober made us so much better.
At first, when we stopped drinking and using other drugs, we thought we were fixed.
Then we began to see that we were not all that well.
No doctor can fix us. To get well, we need to keep living by the Twelve Steps and
the slogans of our program. We need to keep on trusting that our Higher Power
will heal us. One Day at a Time, day after day, we get stronger and happier.
And it never has to stop. Each day, we know ourselves a little better.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, You are my best doctor. Help me remember that.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll do what the “doctor” suggests. I will talk with
my sponsor about Step Ten today.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Ambiguity means admitting more than one response to a situation and allowing
yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may want something
and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful and ugly. --Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it
stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our
perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's
variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them, need not
create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to
pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must
keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time,
but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities
for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us
on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think
creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

There is another paralyzing fear. You may be afraid your husband will lose his position; you are thinking of the disgrace and hard times which will befall you and the children. This experience may come to you. Or you may already have had it several times. Should it happen again, regard it in a different light. Maybe it will prove a blessing! It may convince your husband he wants to stop drinking forever. And now you know that he can stop if he will! Time after time, this apparent calamity has been a boon to us, for it opened up a path which led to the discovery of God.

p. 116

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

Well, I made it all right, to full-blown alcoholism. A big city is a great place to be an alcoholic. Nobody notices. Three-martini lunches. drinks after work, and a nightcap at the corner bar was just a normal day. And didn't everyone have blackouts? I used to joke about how great blackouts were because you saved so much time in transit. One minute you're here, the next minute you're there! In retrospect, making jokes, just laughing it off helped solidify my unfaltering denial. Another trick was selecting companions who drank just a little bit more than I did. Then I could always point to their problem.

p. 329

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

When a drunk has a terrific hangover because he drank heavily yesterday, he cannot live well today. But there is another kind of hangover which we all experience whether we are drinking or not. That is the emotional hangover, the direct result of yesterday's and sometimes today's excesses of negative emotion--anger, fear, jealousy, and the like. If we would live serenely today and tomorrow, we certainly need to eliminate these hangovers. This doesn't mean we need to wander morbidly around in the past. It requires an admission and correction of errors now. Our inventory enables us to settle with the past. When this is done, we are really able to leave it behind us. When our inventory is carefully taken, and we have made peace with ourselves, the conviction follows that tomorrow's challenges can be met as they come.

pp. 88-89

************************************************** *********

Yesterday is history, tomorrow, but a mystery...
Today is a gift, that's why we call it the present.

Like an ability or a muscle, hearing your inner wisdom is strengthened by doing it.
--Robbie Gass

"If the eyes are looked upon as the windows to the soul...
then a smile must be the doorway the heart."
--unknown

"Listen or thy tongue will keep thee deaf."
--American Indian Proverb

When someone intentionally hurts me, I know, they are also hurting themselves, probably
more. Let go, and love them anyway.
--Shelley

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

LIFE

"I am not afraid of tomorrow,
for I have seen yesterday and I
love today."
-- William Allen White

Today I have confidence in my life and I am experiencing consistency in my behavior and
attitude. In recovery, things follow a natural progression and life is more like a series of
curves than sharp peaks. As an addict, my life was forever going up and down, ecstasy
followed by gloom; the "best ever" followed by depression; always black and white --- no
grays.

Today I have some balance and consistency. Things are connected and grow in the
process of change. Sudden happenings and quick changes scare me because they are
symptomatic of yesterday's disease and are not consistent with the spiritual life I seek.
Today I have the peace of knowing that tomorrow will be something like today --- and I
am happy.

Thank You for the spiritual gift of consistency.

************************************************** *********

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good; His love endures forever.
Psalm 106:1

Give ear to my words, O LORD, consider my sighing. Listen to my cry for help,
my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O LORD, you hear my
voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation. Psalm 5:1-3

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

When you lose your temper, you lose. Lord, help me to be patient with those around me,
but most of all, help me be patient with myself.

Apply God's promises to your daily lives and speak to Him from the depths of your heart.
Lord, the more time I spend with You, the stronger You make my faith and the more blessings
You place in my life.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Page 290

"When we first begin to enjoy relief from our addiction, we run the risk of assuming control of our lives again. We forget the agony and pain that we have known."

Basic Text, p.50

Many of us have been "thirty-day wonders." We were desperate and dying when we showed up at our first NA meeting. We identified with the addicts we met there and the message they shared. With their support, we were finally able to stop using and catch a free breath. For the first time in a long, long time, we felt at home. Overnight, our lives were transformed; we walked, talked, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed Narcotics Anonymous.

Then, Narcotics Anonymous lost its novelty. Meetings that had been a thrill became monotonous. Our wonderful NA friends became bores; their uplifting NA talk, drivel. When our former friends called, inviting us back for some of the old fun, we kissed our recovery goodbye.

Sooner or later, we made our way back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Nothing had changed out there, we'd discovered-not us, not our friends, not the drugs, not anything. If anything, it had gotten worse than ever. True, NA meetings may not be a laugh riot, and our NA friends may not be spiritual giants. But there's a power in the meetings, a common bond among the members, a life to the program that we cant do without. Today, our recovery is more than just a fad-it's a way of life. We're going to practice living our program like our lives depend on it, because they do.

Just for Today: I'm no "thirty-day wonder" The NA way is my way of life, and I'm here for the duration.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
How easy the breath that kills a flame,
How hard to kindle that light again.
Cold words kill and kind words kindle,
By words withheld a dream may dwindle.
--Joan Walsh Anglund
How we treat the people we live with affects the happiness of our family. Just as a breath can blow out a flame, a mean remark can cast a shadow across a brother or sister's heart. People of all ages have left dreams behind because no one encouraged them. They are like candles snuffed out.
On the other hand, if we see a friend or family member feeling good about something they have done, we can learn to be happy for them. If we notice their excitement and encourage them with kind and sincere words, it will help their candle burn brighter. Sharing the happiness of others will make our own candles burn brighter, and it always feels good when we receive kind words ourselves.
In what ways can I bring light and warmth with my words today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
You should not have your own idea when you listen to someone.... To have nothing in your mind is naturalness. Then you will understand what he says. --Shunryu Suzuki
A man who is mistrustful and self-centered has difficulty listening to someone else. Perhaps a woman we are close to wants to be understood by us. But we do not hear her on her own terms because we are so intensely involved with our own shame. So we react to our feelings of guilt rather than really hearing what she wants to say about her experience. Or we may be so worried about who has control that we fail to receive the information we are being given. Then we respond with "Yes, but..."
True learning comes - like true intimacy - when we have an open mind. As we detach ourselves, separate from our own ego, we hear the other person better and grow more intimate.
May I learn to set aside my own self-centeredness. Today, I will grow more if I set my ego aside when others are talking to me.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Ambiguity means admitting more than one response to a situation and allowing yourself to be aware of those contradictory responses. You may want something and fear it at the same time. You may find it both beautiful and ugly. --Tristine Rainer
Flexibility is a goal worth the striving. It eases our relations with others, and it stretches our realm of awareness. Letting go of rigid adherence to what our perceptions were yesterday assures us of heightened understanding of life's variables and lessons.
Being torn between two decisions, feeling ambivalent about them, need not create consternation, though it often does. Hopefully, it will encourage us to pray for direction, and then to be responsive to the guidance. And we must keep in mind that no decision is ever wrong. It may lead us astray for a time, but it will also introduce us to uncharted territories, which offer many opportunities for flexibility.
Contradictory responses, our own and also ours in relations with others, keep us on our toes, lend an element of excitement to our lives, and push us to think creatively about our perceptions. Growth and change are guaranteed.
I will be in tune with myself today. I will let my perceptions guide me.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Getting Through the Discomfort
Surrender to the pain. Then learn to surrender to the good. It's there and more is on the way. --Beyond Codependency
Our goal in recovery is to make us feel comfortable, peaceful, and content. Happy. We want to be at peace with our environment and ourselves. Sometimes, to do that, we need to be willing to face, feel, and get through discomfort.
I am not talking here about being addicted to misery and pain. I am not talking about creating unnecessary pain. I'm talking about the legitimate discomfort we sometimes need to feel as we heal.
When we have surgery, the pain hurts most the day after the operation. When we do the kind of work we are facing in recovery, we are doing an emotional, mental, and spiritual surgery on ourselves. We're removing parts of us that are infected and inflamed.
Sometimes the process hurts. We are strong enough to survive discomfort and temporary feelings of emotional pain. Once we are willing to face and feel our discomfort and pain, we are almost to the point of release.
Today, I am willing to face my discomfort, trusting that healing and release are on the other side. Help me, God; be open to feeling whatever I need to feel to be healed and healthy. While I am doing this, I will trust I am cared for and protected by my friends, my Higher Power, the Universe, and myself.


I choose to be in places and situations and with people where I feel good about myself. I deserve to feel good and I trust that my heart will tell me where to go. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 4
Let the Miracle of Acceptance Find You

I found this miracle in a small church in New Mexico. The Sanctuario do Chimayo is famous for its healing powers and miracles. The ground under the church, some say, is particularly holy and powerful. Crutches– evidence of the healing miracles people experienced there– line the walls of the church’s back room.

Four years ago, a friend had sent me to the Sanctuario to find my miracle. It was three months after my son died. I didn’t know what miracle could possibly fix my situation. Now, sitting in the back of the chapel, I knew. I didn’t have any crutches to hang on the wall, but the miracle of acceptance had healed my heart and changed my life.

We may search for miracles that change our situation so we don’t have to deal with the loss or feel the pain. Sometimes we get that miracle. Our circumstances change. But sometimes the miracle we get changes us. If the situation is too difficult, the loss to painful to accept in one leap, take smaller steps. Accept what you’re feeling today. Accept who you are today. Accept what you think today.

Look for your miracles. Hope for the best. But when you can’t change what you’re going through, let the simple, quiet, daily miracle of acceptance find you.

*****

more language of letting go
Value your dreams

I always wanted to be a writer. Long ago I talked to God about it, then asked God to bring it to pass if that dream was from Him. Or Her. Within twenty-four hours, I had my first writing assignment from a community newspaper. I got paid five dollars a story, and I've been writing ever since.

Sometimes, we get a vision of ourselves doing something. We might get an inkling or even have a dream where we see ourselves doing something in the future. We might get a feeling that we're about to become pregnant. Or we might have a dream in which we see ourselves moving into a new home. We might be driving by a neighborhood one day and get a special feeling that it would be right for us to live there.

We might get a hunch about a career-oriented event.

Some people think these little hunches or dreams are our soul's way of remembering what it came here to do.

We see a flash: a dream, vision, or special feeling of what's coming next. Maybe your dreams about what you want and what you'd like are more important than you think.


God, show me what you want me to do and experience in life. Then give me enough consciousness to relax and see what you're pointing out.

Activity: Have an I see page in your journal. As you go about the days ahead, pay special attention to the dreams that pop into your head. Nighttime dreams are important. It's good to write in your journal about those,too. Often they give us clues. But what I'm talking about here are our daytime dreams and feelings-- those things we think we want or can see ourselves doing. Have you buried any dreams from childhood or adulthood, things you really wanted to pursue but forgot along the way? Tell yourself it's time to remember. Then let it go. Pay attention to what pops up into sight. Write it down, even if it's just a sentence or two. Then let the dream go again. Don't try to control the future. It will happen of its own accord.

*****

Culling Out the Weeds
Mind Over Matter

The power of the mind is a curious thing, because it is so powerful yet so difficult to control sometimes.

The power of the mind is a curious thing, because it is so powerful yet so difficult to control sometimes. We find ourselves thinking a certain way, knowing that this thought may be creating trouble for us yet we find it difficult to stop. For example, many people have the experience of getting sick at the same time every year or every time they go on a plane. They may even be aware that their beliefs impact their experiences, so continue to think they will get sick and then they do.

Sometimes we need to get sick in order to process something or move something through our bodies. But often we get sick, or feel exhausted, because we don’t make the effort to galvanize the power of our minds in the service of our physical health, which is one of its most important functions. We really can use it to communicate to our bodies, yet we often regard the two as separate entities that have little to do with one another.

Knowing this, we have the power to create physical health and mental health, simply by paying attention to the tapes running in our minds. Once we hear ourselves, we have the option to let that tape keep running or to make a new recording. We harness the power of the mind in our defense when we choose supportive, healing words that foster good health and high spirits. All we need to do is remember to tend the field of our mind with the attentive and loving hand of a master gardener tending her flower beds, culling out the weeds so that the blossoms may come to fruition.

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

We are powerless over our addictions; that admission brought us to The Program, where we learn through unconditional surrender that there is victory in defeat. After a time, we learn in Twelfth Step work that we’re not only powerless over our own addiction, but over the addictions of others. We cannot will another person to sobriety, for example, any more than we can hold back the sunset. We may minister to another person’s physical needs; we may share with him, pray with him, and take him to meetings. But we cannot get inside his head and push some sort of magic button that will make him — or her — take the all-important First Step. Do I still sometimes try to play God?

Today I Pray

may I understand my all-too-human need to be the boss, have the upper hand, be the final authority — even in the humbling business of my own addiction. May I see how easy it would be to become a big-shot Twelfth Stepper. May I also see that, no matter how much I care and want to help, I have no control over another’s addiction — any more than someone else has control over mine.

Today I Will Remember

I cannot engineer another’s sobriety.

************************************

One More Day

The bitter and the sweet come from the outside, the hard from within, from one’s own efforts.
– Albert Einstein

Too often we expect to have lives in which only happy events occur and no one is ever hurt. Instead of tears and sadness, we expect only happiness. In doing this, we do not face life realistically. By ignoring all the problems around us — our own and others’ as well — we skim the surface of life.

When we face reality, we begin our real journey. A life well lived is not one of constant happiness and joy. More often, it is the life as lived by someone who has known intense pain and extreme disappointment. Our negative experiences give us that opportunity to be strengthened within.

All my experiences give me a chance to grow.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

SHAME

”It is not the criminal things that are hardest to confess,
but the ridiculous and the shameful.”
Jean Jacques Rousseau

I had a very strange childhood filled with lots of emotional and physical neglect. Combine that with moving about once a year and being deemed as "unacceptable" by each new community we moved into, and how could I help but feel a great sense of shame about everything about me?

As an adult I left home and became a well-respected part of a new community. I have lived in the same nice house, with a beautiful yard, and had well kept-children. In spite of all the evidence to the contrary, internally I was still that "unacceptable" child. I had not told anyone about my childhood because I felt it to be a shameful secret. I thought that much of my adult unhappiness was deserved because I truly believed that even though no one knew the truth about me, deep down I really was still unacceptable.

Since coming to TRG, I have been releasing something far more important than the 60 pounds of weight I have lost. I have begun to release the shame, the sense of being unacceptable, and the sense of being unworthy and unlovable. I have shared my secrets with wonderfully-loving, accepting people. By sharing my secrets I am releasing my pain. My request that my name not be revealed at the end of this meditation, though, clearly states that I still have work to do. TRG, the program, and the steps are offering me the means to recovery and I will gratefully accept the offer!

One day at a time...
I will remember that the old false self-perceptions are no longer relevant in my life. I am learning new ways of self-acceptance and new ways of self-nurturing that will serve me far better.
~ Karen A.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Since the home has suffered more than anything else, it is well that a man exert himself there. He is not likely to get far in any direction if he fails to show unselfishness and love under his own roof. We know there are difficult wives and families, but the man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so. - Pg. 127 - The Family Afterward

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

At times, while traveling this road, we find it easier to just agree with everyone now, and do our own thing later. It's called 'just talking the talk.' This means we are not serious about our new life and can quickly travel to our next high. We tell these people that a belly full of booze and head full of program is a miserable way to live.

Let the next thing I say be straight from my heart and not just something I think the person in front of me wants to hear.

Guilt

I will tolerate the pain of watching. When I see someone I care about locked in this disease, I want to run and help. I want to tell them what to do to get better. But time and again, this hasn't worked. In fact, it usually blows up in my face. My only job is to stay on my own path. I cannot help anyone who doesn't want my help. If someone wants what I have they will also want to find it in their own way. I cannot really teach anyone anything I think. I cannot really save anyone. Especially those close to me. My feelings of disgust at their blindness and frustration with their seeming unwillingness to get with the program color my message. And so often, I help because I feel so much survivor's guilt. What I really want to do is run the other way but I feel too guilty to do that. What I really want is the family I lost to this disease or the family I never had but that is gone. Today, I will allow myself to have what I have, to live well, to follow my own path of recovery.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

It's easy to see the difference between ourselves and assholes, unless, at the moment, we're the asshole.

I have got to get out of my own way.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Today, take care of yourself. Tomorrow you can worry about them.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am developing a world of peace for myself, both inside and out.

Today I know I am always only one breath away from peace, one prayer away from serenity.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I looked around the room and I could not figure out what it was that you had which was so hot I should be willing to go to any lengths to get. Some of you had nice jewelry - and if your rings were loose and you held my hand during the Lord's Prayer.. they were mine. - Patti O

[bluidkiti]

October 5

Daily Reflections

YESTERDAY'S BAGGAGE

For the wise have always known that no one can make much of his life until self-searching
becomes a regular habit, until he is able to admit and accept what he finds, and until he
patiently and persistently tries to correct what is wrong.
12 & 12, p. 88

I have more than enough to handle today, without dragging along yesterday's baggage
too. I must balance today's books, if I am to have a chance tomorrow. So I ask myself if
I have erred and how I can avoid repeating that particular behavior. Did I hurt anyone,
did I help anyone, and why? Some of today is bound to spill over into tomorrow, but most
of it need not if I make an honest daily inventory.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Do I have any hard feelings about other group members or for any
other A.A. group? Am I critical of the way a group member thinks or acts? Do I feel that
another group is operating in the wrong way and do I broadcast it? Or do I realize that all
A.A. members, no matter what their limitations, have something to offer, some good,
however little, that they can do for A.A. in spite of their handicaps? Do I believe that
there is a place for all kinds of groups in A.A., provided they are following A.A. traditions,
and that they can be effective even if I do not agree with their procedure? Am I tolerant
of people and groups?

Meditation For The Day

"The Lord shall preserve thy going out and thy coming in, from this
time forth and even forever more." All your movements, your goings and comings can be
guided by the Unseen Spirit. Every visit to help another, every unselfish effort to assist,
can be blessed by that Unseen Spirit. There can be a blessing on all you do, on every
interview with one who is suffering. Every meeting of a need may not be a chance
meeting, but it may have been planned by the Unseen Spirit. Led by the Spirit of the
Lord, you can be tolerant, sympathetic, and understanding of others and so accomplish
much.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be led by the spirit of God. I pray that the Lord will
preserve my goings and my comings.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

A Higher Power for Atheists, p.276

"I have had many experiences with atheists, mostly good.
Everybody in A.A. has the right to his own opinion. It is much better
to maintain an open and tolerant society than it is to suppress any
small disturbances their opinions might occasion. Actually, I don't
know of anybody who went off and died of alcoholism because of
some atheist's opinions on the cosmos.

"But I do always entreat these folks to look to a 'Higher
Power'--namely, their own group. When they come in, most of
their A.A. group is sober, and they are drunk. Therefore, the
group is a 'Higher Power.' That's a good enough start, and most
of them do progress from there. I know how they feel, because I
was once that way myself."

Letter, 1962

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

What can Sobriety Bring?
Living Sober
The single goal of staying sober is so all-important in AA that side benefits
are often overlooked. There is even a tendency to warn members about the
hazards of attaching importance to anything except sobriety.
But we do have to become responsible people in all things, not just sober people.
We can expect real sobriety to bring the confidence and well-being we expected
from the bottle, but never received.
Sobriety is not likely to give us the equivalent of the euphoria we got from drinking,
but a great sense of well-being based on realistic expectations is more satisfying
than the ridiculous mental states we sought in drinking. Living the right kind of
life will bring its own rewards.
.Alone with staying sober today, I'll meet all my responsibilities to my family and
friends. Sobriety does not promise miracles, but it does bring a good life.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

It is often easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them---Adlai Stevenson
It easy to talk about our values. But when the clerk at the store gives extra change
my mistake, those values get put to the test. It feels good to read about spirituality
in a comfortable chair at home. But when we get stuck in a traffic jam, it’s hard to
live by our values.
That’s why practicing our program daily helps. Practice prepares us for the tough times.
Maybe we’ll feel like drinking or using other drugs once a year. Maybe we’ll only
get the wrong amount of change once a year. But if we live our values daily, we’ll be
ready when the hard times come. Remember: “It’s not enough to talk the talk. You
have to walk the walk.”
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me live this program each day. Help me
“walk the walk.”
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll do a Step Ten, Taking an inventory tells me if I’m
living up to my values.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest person in the world. There's nothing better than
having work you really care about. Sometimes I think my greatest problem is lack
of confidence. I'm scared, and I think that's healthy. --Jane Fonda
We each vacillate between feeling confident on some days, lucky on others, and
yet frequently scared on others. It's very human to vacillate. We need not be anxious
because our emotions refuse to stand still.
Changing emotions are part of the process of normal living. And changing emotions
reflect an involvement with the moment. Situations do touch us, as they should.
They do invite responses, as they should. And our responses will reveal our emotional
involvement, as they should. We can cherish the variety of our emotions. They enrich us.
But they may also create problems, if they go unchecked.
We need to maintain a balance. Confidence, certainly desirable, can become overconfidence
and thus complacency. Confidence needs humility to temper it. Fear makes us cautious,
and that's good; but too much can immobilize us. Being in charge of our emotions makes
them work for us.
Emotions can energize me and keep me involved with the moment. They can also control
me. It's my decision to be in charge.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

We have elsewhere remarked how much better life is when lived on a spiritual plane. If God can solve the age-old riddle of alcoholism, He can solve your problems too. We wives found that, like everybody else, we were afflicted with pride, self-pity, vanity and all the things which go to make up the self-centered person; and we were not above selfishness or dishonesty. As our husbands began to apply spiritual principles in their lives, we began to see the desirability of doing so too.

p. 116

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

One such companion led to my first arrest. If the driver of the car had only pulled over when the police lights flashed, we would have been fine. If, when I had practically talked our way out of it, the driver had kept his mouth shut, we would have been fine. But no, he started babbling about how he was in rehab. I got off with a misdemeanor, and for years, I completely discounted that arrest because it was all his fault. I simply ignored that I had been drinking all day.

pp. 329-330

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Although all inventories are alike in principle, the time factor does distinguish one from another. There's the spot check inventory, taken at any time of the day, whenever we find ourselves getting tangled up. There's the one we take at day's end, when we review the happenings of the hours just past. Here we cast up a balance sheet, crediting ourselves with things well done, and chalking up debits where due. Then there are those occasions when alone, or in the company of our sponsor or spiritual adviser, we make a careful review of our progress since the last time. Many A.A.'s go in for annual or semiannual housecleanings. Many of us also like the experience of an occasional retreat from the outside world where we can quiet down for an undisturbed day or so of self-overhaul and meditation.

p. 89

************************************************** *********

Give and forget. Receive and remember.

When you give of yourself, you receive more than you give.
--Antoine De Saint-Exupery

Money is not required to buy one necessity of the soul.
--Henry David Thoreau

Prosperity depends more on wanting what you have than having what you want.
--Geoffry F. Abert

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It
turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a
feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past,
brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow."
--Melody Beattie

"The more you recognize and express gratitude for the things you have, the more things
you will have to express gratitude for."
--Zig Ziglar

When a person habitually thinks optimistically and hopefully, they activate life around
them positively and thereby attract positive results. Positive Thinking sets in motion
positive and creative forces and success flows toward you!
--Norman Vincent Peale

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

PRIDE

"The books I haven't written are
better than the books other
people have."
-- Cyril V. Connolly

Today I still have to grapple with pride, vanity and conceit. Today, thanks to God and my
spiritual program, I am not so preoccupied with self, but the old tapes can still be heard:
"Thank God I am not as stupid as her." "I am blessed in not being like those people." "I
suppose everybody in the room is looking at me."

Pride is still a big obstacle because it keeps me isolated from people. It emphasizes the
difference between me and the world, rather than the commonality. Pride keeps me a
prisoner of my ego and develops that cruel and sadistic streak in my nature that I know
exists. Pride stops me being grateful because it keeps me too focused on what I am doing
and I miss the beauty and splendor of my life. Pride keeps my nose pushed against
the picture so I cannot see the portrait!

I can only change this "proudful" attitude by talking about it. The way for me to grow is
to "dump it" . . . today.

May I find me in the people I meet and share with.

************************************************** *********

"I will establish my covenant between me and you, and your offspring after you
throughout their generations, for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your
offspring after you."
Genesis 17:7

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to
all. The Lord is near.
Philippians 4:4-5

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the
secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether
living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
Philippians 4:12-13

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

God will give you today, no more than you can handle today. It is when you choose to add
yesterday's and tomorrow's troubles to it that it becomes too much to carry. Lord, help
me remember that it is only right now that I can find all that I am looking for.

Take time to learn from the mistakes of others. We don't have time to make all of them
ourselves. Lord, guide me onto paths that lead me to You.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Ask for mercy, not justice
Page 291

"Many of us have difficulty admitting that we caused harm for others... We cut away our justifications and our ideas of being a victim."

Basic Text, p.38

Our lives are progressing nicely. Things are going good, and each year in recovery brings more material and spiritual gifts. We may have a little money in the bank, a new car, or a committed relationship. We have a little self-confidence, and our faith in a Higher Power is growing.

Then, something happens. Someone breaks into our new car and steals the stereo, or the person we're in the relationship with becomes unfaithful. Right away, we feel victimized. "Where's the justice?" we wail. But if we take a look back on our own behavior, we may find that we've been guilty of what's just been done to us. We realize we wouldn't really want justice-not for ourselves, and not for others. What we want is mercy.

We thank a loving God for the compassion we've been shown, and we take the time to appreciate all the precious gifts that recovery brings.

Just for Today: I will pray for mercy, not justice. I am grateful for the compassion I've been shown, and will offer mercy to others.

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
I think of the trees and how simply they let go, let fall the riches of a season, how without grief (it seems) they can let go and go deep into their roots for renewal and sleep. --May Sarton
"How can I do what you say," asked the child, "and still be me?"
"Look at me," said the tree. "I bend in the wind, droop in the rain. Yet I always remain myself, a tree."
"Look at me," said the man. "I can't change."
"Look at me," said the tree. "I change every season from green to brown to green again, from bud to flower to fallen leaf. Yet I always remain myself, a tree."
"I can't love anymore," said the woman. "With my love, I have given away all that I am."
"Look at me," said the tree. "There are robins in my branches, owls in my trunk, moss and ladybugs living on my bark. They may take what I have, but not what I am."
Whether we know it or not, we are like the tree. Only our pride hangs on to a false sense of self, wanting to keep everything, refusing to follow advice or orders. What we do doesn't matter; how we do it is what counts.
What changes have I gone through without losing my real self?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Men are doomed to live in an overwhelmingly tragic and demonic world. --Ernest Becker
Life is difficult. We never reach the point where our path is free of obstacles and hardships. And regardless of how much we grow, how faithful we are to our program, nothing changes the fact that death is still there for us. As painful and hard as it is, life also is deeply meaningful and worthwhile when we submit to its reality and live in a spiritual way.
After we stop living in denial and accept the hard facts about life, we see that we need each other. We need relationships to stay sane. We need to pull together and support one another the way people do in difficult times. Rugged individualism isn't always good for real people in the real world. We need relationships so we can celebrate and make music and encourage one another. We need relationships so we can laugh and make jokes and tell our personal stories. And we need to stand together to oppose the destructive forces around us.
God help me learn to have relationships with my brothers and sisters.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest person in the world. There's nothing better than having work you really care about. Sometimes I think my greatest problem is lack of confidence. I'm scared, and I think that's healthy. --Jane Fonda
We each vacillate between feeling confident on some days, lucky on others, and yet frequently scared on others. It's very human to vacillate. We need not be anxious because our emotions refuse to stand still.
Changing emotions are part of the process of normal living. And changing emotions reflect an involvement with the moment. Situations do touch us, as they should. They do invite responses, as they should. And our responses will reveal our emotional involvement, as they should. We can cherish the variety of our emotions. They enrich us. But they may also create problems, if they go unchecked.
We need to maintain a balance. Confidence, certainly desirable, can become overconfidence and thus complacency. Confidence needs humility to temper it. Fear makes us cautious, and that's good; but too much can immobilize us. Being in charge of our emotions makes them work for us.
Emotions can energize me and keep me involved with the moment. They can also control me. It's my decision to be in charge.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Knowledge
Learn to let yourself be guided into truth.
We will know what we need to know, when we need to know that. We don't have to feel badly about taking our own time to reach our insights. We don't have to force insight or awareness before it's time.
Yes! Maybe the whole world saw a particular truth in our life, and we denied it - until we were ready to deal with it. That is our business, and our right! Our process is our own, and we will discover our truths at the right time, when we are ready, when the learning experience is complete.
The most growth-producing concept we can develop for others and ourselves is to allow ourselves to have our own process. We can give and receive support and encouragement while we go through this process. We can listen to others and say what we think. We can set boundaries and take care of ourselves, when needed. But we still give others and ourselves the right to grow at our own pace, without judgment, and with much trust that all is well and is on schedule.
When we are ready, when the time is right, and when our Higher Power is ready - we will know what we need to know.
Today, I will let myself and others have our own pace and time schedule for growth and change. I will trust that I will be empowered with insights and the tools for dealing with these insights, at the right time.


Today I will be aware not to judge myself when I feel less than perfect. I am beginning to love myself just as I am and that feels so nice. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 5
Spiritual Growth Can Be Easier Now

For so long, you thought that spiritual growth, healing, life had to be hard. And it was– for many reasons.

That’s no longer the case. Do you see the rose struggling and straining to grow? Do you see a tree pushing and forcing its growth? Your growth can unfold as naturally, as inevitably, as beautifully as the tender shoots of a rose break through first with green, then a bud, then a fully opened flower. You have committed to life, you have committed to growth, you have committed to opening your heart and taking the journey. That is enough.

The rest will be revealed to you in time. The answers will become clear. The visions, the guidance, the leadings you are seeking will come. All you need to guide you through life will come– quiet spiritual awakenings, quiet revelations that profoundly change your life. Each awakening will take you to the next place. Each will lead you home.

Don’t worry about what you have to do to achieve spiritual growth. Let yourself be. The growth will happen, and it will happen naturally and easily.

*****

more language of letting go
Take time to see it first

"Go over your skydive in your mind," my jump master taught me, when I first began learning to jump out of the plane. "Sit down by yourself and see yourself going through every movement from the time you get into the plane until you come back to earth."

Visualization has been a helpful tool to me in skydiving and in most areas of my life.

In the 1980s, Shakti Gawain wrote a best-seller, Creative Visualization. She talked about the powerful impact of using your mind to imagine yourself in some activity before actually doing it in reality.

Visualization has been a self-help tool that's been around even longer than that. Many people in all walks of life, from therapists to sports professionals, agree that seeing yourself doing it beforehand is the best way to do it well.

We can use the tool of visualization to help create matter out of spiritual energy, simply by spending quiet time during our meditation focusing on what we want, seeing ourselves having it, doing it, touching it, and feeling it. One woman told me she used visualization to help see herself letting go of a partner.

"I get quiet and I actually see myself living happily without the person I thought I had to have in my life," she said to me. "I get into the details of myself,too. How unencumbered I feel. How grateful I am for the lessons that person taught me. How I'm free of the burden of obsessing about this person. It really helps me let go."

Visualization is an important tool. It's a gift when we can see ourselves doing something and then having that activity manifested in reality.

Visualization only works if you use it. Make it a regular practice in your life.

Visualize yourself living with one of your dreams. Visualize yourself doing something you're nervous about doing. Take a few moments and run through the entire scenario in your head, until you can see yourself doing that thing calmly, clearly, and successfully with all obstacles cleared from your path.


God, help me use visualization as a regular tool in my life. Help me do my part in creating positive situations by taking the time first to see it, to visualize it.

Activity: Become an expert at visualization. Go to the library or bookstore and get a couple books on visualization. Then, read these books and begin applying the tool of visualization in your life.

*****

Habitual Anger
Unblocking the Ally by Madisyn Taylor

Anger can easily become our go-to emotion; to remedy, start noticing when and why you get angry.

Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The good thing about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it—from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable agent of transformation.

Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life.

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Soon after I came to The Program, I found a Higher Power whom I choose to call God. I’ve come to believe that He has all power; if I stay close to Him and do His work well, He provides me not with what I think I want, but with what I need. Gradually, I’m becoming less interested in myself and my little schemes; at the same time, I’m becoming more interested in seeing what I can contribute to others and to life. As I become more conscious of God’s presence, am I beginning to lose my self-centered fears?

Today I Pray

May I see that the single most evident change in myself — beyond my own inner sense of peace — is that I have come out from behind my phony castle walls, dropped the drawbridge that leads into my real village and crossed it. I am back among people again, interested in them, caring what happens to them. May I find my joy here in this peopled reality, now that I have left behind those old self protective fears and illusions of my own uniqueness.

Today I Will Remember

What is life without people?

************************************

One More Day

Be patient with everyone, but above all with yourself.
– St. Francis de Sales

Life fine cheese, we wait, as we grow older, to ripen properly. We would like to hurry the process along, but haste won’t serve us well in the long run. We have learned to let others take their time to mature and to become responsible adults, but often when it comes to ourselves, we are quick to anger at our own mistakes. We frequently are not as forgiving of ourselves as we are of others.

Maturity arrives when we understand that some of the goals we thought were crucial are really unattainable, and that it really doesn’t matter. Maturity is a frame of mind where we learn to be pleased with what we can accomplish. We can find contentment in just living our days as best we can.

I recognize there is no magic moment when I will become a fully mature adult. Maturity is an attitude that conveys peace with myself.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

HABITS

”A habit cannot be tossed out the window;
it must be coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”
Mark Twain

How grateful I was when I read that quote – even though I had to translate it a bit. It has always been difficult for me to start good habits. I've heard all kinds of things about that – that it takes 21 days, 40 days, or an x-number of weeks to start a habit. It always made me feel bad and different because I swear for me, it probably takes at least two years. Until then I’d be biting my nails, knowing that even if I did practice good habits, they might disappear at any time. It was supposed to be so much faster, so much easier! A few weeks of eating healthy, and magically I would be cured! Well, that never happened.

Now I can look at good habits – like eating healthy, exercising, meditating, paying my bills on time – as tender, shy little animals that need a long time before they can be coaxed up the stairs of my life. They need patience, a lot of quiet time, and a willingness to be understood and studied. How do I feed, nurture and care for this habit?

I cannot do it alone. I do not have the patience, the willingness, nor the nurturing to do this by myself. I need the help of the fellowship and the help of my Higher Power. This help is freely given to me ~ all I need to do is accept it, and together we can make my habits more and more comfortable in the house of my life.

One day at a time...
With the help of my Higher Power and the program, I can patiently learn to practice healthy habits.
~ Isabella

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We urge you to try our program, for nothing will be so helpful to your husband as the radically changed attitude toward him which God will show you how to have. Go along with your husband if you possible can.
If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to be very happy. But all problems will not be solved at once. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of the old problems will still be with you. This is as it should be. - Pg. 117 - To Wives

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

You don't have to worry about your faults now or feel shame. None of us are near perfect, even if we've been clean and sober a long time. We strive for progress, not perfection.

Let me know I don't have to put up a front of perfection, my goal is progress in sobriety.

The Mystery

Today, I accept that part of myself that will never be satisfied, and I comfort and tame it. There is a place in me that knows it will never necessarily solve the eternal questions of life: Who am I and where do I come from, and where do I go when I die? Part of me wants to know the answers to these questions. But I am beginning to feel that the answer is to live fully in the question, to open to the mystery. Perhaps meaning is not knowing and understanding, but an acceptance of mystery, an embracing of the unknown. After all, it is this evanescent sense of mystery that gives even the most ordinary circumstance an eternal sort of glow - a sense of depth, a feeling that there is more.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Our greatest strengths taken too far become our greatest defects and our greatest defects tamed, become our virtues. Wrongly used, honesty can become brutal confrontation, nurturing can become 'I'll fix you,' and consistency can become inflexibility.

I examine my Fourth Step list and see how, properly used, each fault becomes a feature I desire.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Stark Raving Sober.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept me as I am.

Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept you as you are.

I am free to have an honest relationship with me and you today.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

The newcomers ask; 'How do I stay out of sexual relationships in early sobriety?' Sort of an 11th Step; 'Prayer and masturbation'. Fred.

[bluidkiti]

October 6

Daily Reflections

FACING OURSELVES

. . . . and Fear says, "You dare not look!"
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 49

How often I avoided a task in my drinking days,
just because it appeared so large! Is it any wonder
even if I have been sober for some time, that I will
act that same way when faced with what appears to be
a monumental job, such as a searching and fearless
moral inventory of myself? What I discover after I
have arrived at the other side--when my inventory is
completed--is that the illusion was greater than the
reality. The fear of facing myself kept me at a
standstill and, until I became willing to put pencil
to paper, I was arresting my growth based on an
intangible.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Is it my desire to be a big shot in A.A.? Do I always
want to be up front in the limelight? Do I feel that
nobody else can do as good a job as I can? Or am I
willing to take a seat in the back row once in a while
and let somebody else carry the ball? Part of the
effectiveness of any A.A. group is the development of
new members to carry on, to take over, from the older
members. Am I reluctant to give up authority? Do I try
to carry the load for the whole group? If so, I am not
being fair to the newer members. Do I realize that no
one person is essential? Do I know that A.A. could
carry on without me, if it had to?

Meditation For The Day

The Unseen God can help to make us truly grateful and
humble. Since we cannot see God, we must believe in Him
without seeing. What we can see clearly is the change in
a human being, when he sincerely asks God for the strength
to change. We should cling to faith in God and in His power
to change our faith in God and in His power to change our
ways. Our faith in all Unseen God will be rewarded by a
useful and serviceable life. God will not fail to show us
the way we should live. When in real gratitude and true
humility we turn to Him..

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may believe that God can change me.
I pray that I may be always willing to be changed
for the better.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

To Lighten Our Burden, p.277

Only one consideration should qualify our desire for a complete
disclosure of the damage we have done. That will arise where a
full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are
making amends. Or--quite as important--other people. We
cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital
adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband.

It does not lighten our burden when we recklessly make the crosses
of others heavy.

********************************

In making amends, we should be sensible, tactful, considerate, and
humble without being servile or scraping. As God's people, we stand
on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone.

1. 12 & 12, p.86
2. Alcoholics Anonymous, p.83

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

By Their fruits
Inventory.
An old saying reminds us that the value of any spiritual effort can be measured
by how well it work: "A good tree is known by its fruits."
By that standard, the 12 Step movement fares very well. Its life-changing work
has won consistent praise and has had continuous success ever since it became
known to the public.
We can apply that same statement to new ideas as they appear in our lives. If
somebody has suggestions or advice, we might ask how well such ideas are working
out for them. We would not take investment advice, for example, from someone
who had repeatedly lost money.
We should always be wary of ideas that go counter to the basic principles of our
program. some people may invite us to share their resentments, for example, but we
have no obligation to do so. We will be even less inclined to do so when we look at
the results they're getting from their resentments, Evaluating ideas "by their fruits"
is a good test.
I'll be careful to look at all the facts in connection with any idea presented today.
I have a right to judge everything by results.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

If you do not tell the truth about yourself, you cannot tell it about other people.
---Virginia Woolf
Working the Twelve Steps helps us learn the truth. As we struggle with Step Four,
we learn the truth about ourselves. We learn even more about ourselves by doing
Steps Eight and Ten. When we admit the truth about ourselves, things come into
focus. Big changes happen.
As a result, we can see other people more clearly. We see bad sides in people we
thought were prefect. We see good sides in people we hated. We start to know that
everyone has to work hard to find what’s right for them. No one knows all the answers.
In short, we begin to trust others also who also are looking for the truth.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me clearly see myself and others.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think about how doing Step Ten keeps me clear
about what’s going on in my life.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir
Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we
but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The
courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one
of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right
direction is ours for the taking.
Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks.
Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior,
our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script
in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make.
The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women
we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to
the message within and the strength to go forth as directed.
Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right
action is always, and forever, as close as myself.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

At first, some of us did not believe we needed this help. We thought, on the whole, we were pretty good women, capable of being nicer if our husbands stopped drinking. But it was a silly idea that we were too good to need God. Now we try to put spiritual principles to work in every department of our lives. When we do that, we find it solves our problems too; the ensuing lack of fear, worry and hurt feelings is a wonderful thing. We urge you to try our program, for nothing will be so helpful to your husband as the radically changed attitude toward him which God will show you how to have. Go along with you husband if you possibly can.

p. 116

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

One morning while I was at work, a hospital called, telling me to get there quickly. My father was there, dying of alcoholism. He was sixty. I had seen him in the hospitals before, but this time was different. With stomach sorely distended, swollen with fluids his nonfunctioning kidneys and liver could no longer process, he lingered for three weeks. Alcoholic death is very painful and slow. Seeing him die of alcoholism convinced me I could never become an alcoholic. I knew too much about the disease, had too much self-knowledge to ever fail prey. I could not help my grandmother bury her only son, because by then I was inextricably involved in an affair mixed in sex and alcohol.

p. 330

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Aren't these practices joy-killers as well as time-consumers? Must A.A.'s spend most of their waking hours drearily rehashing their sins of omission or commission? Well, hardly. The emphasis on inventory is heavy only because a great many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal. Once this healthy practice has become grooved, it will be so interesting and profitable that the time it takes won't be missed. For these minutes and sometimes hours spent in self-examination are bound to make all the other hours of our day better and happier. And at length our inventories become a regular part of everyday living, rather than something unusual or set apart.

pp. 89-90

************************************************** *********

I have held many things in my hands and have lost them all, but whatever I placed in
God's hands I still possess.
--GGDNER

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do...
but how much love we put in that action.
--Mother Teresa

Live your life and forget your age.
--Norman Vincent Peale

In a world that is constantly changing, there is no one subject or set of
subjects that will serve you for the foreseeable future, let alone for the
rest of your life. The most important skill to acquire now is learning how to learn.
--John Naisbitt

"In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes
the circle and comes back to us."
--Flora Edwards

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

FORGIVENESS

"Forgiveness is the key to action
and freedom."
-- Hannah Arendt

Early in sobriety I found it easy to forgive others but hard to forgive myself. This kept me
sick and negative, even in recovery, because I was unable to practice self-love. I still
blamed me and felt responsible for being alcoholic. I had not surrendered to the reality of
alcoholism as a disease.

Then a moment of sanity was granted me whereby I understood that I was not responsible
for being alcoholic, but that I am responsible for my recovery. And my recovery involves
a love and respect of self. This knowledge brought a tremendous joy and freedom that led
to action within the recovering community. Only by loving me will I be able to
love you, and in both these ways I show my love of God.

May I always hold on to the spiritual power of forgiveness.

************************************************** *********

"Cast all your anxiety on him, because he cares for you."
1 Peter 5:7

Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light for my path. I have taken an oath and
confirmed it, that I will follow your righteous laws. I have suffered much; preserve
my life, O LORD, according to your word. Accept, O LORD, the willing praise of my
mouth, and teach me your laws. Though I constantly take my life in my hands, I will
not forget your law. The wicked have set a snare for me, but I have not strayed from
your precepts. Your statutes are my heritage forever; they are the joy of my heart.
My heart is set on keeping your decrees to the very end.
Psalm 119:105-112

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Be aware of the blessings of friendship and know that to have a friend you must be
one in return. Lord, help me to be able to smile, to share, to listen and to be available
when I am needed.

God's promises are not for those who walk through life with no obstacles, but for those
who overcome their obstacles. Lord, I pray, not to overpower others, but to overcome
my own weaknesses and strengthen my trust in You.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Amends Without Expectations

"Projections about actually making amends can be a major obstacle both in making the list and in becoming willing." Basic Text p.38

The Eighth Step asks us to become willing to make amends to all persons we have harmed. As we approach this step, we may wonder what the outcome of our amends will be. Will we be forgiven? Relieved of any lingering guilt? Or will we be tarred and feathered by the persons we've harmed?

Our tendency to seek forgiveness must be surrendered if we expect to receive the spiritual benefits of the Eighth and Ninth Steps. If we approach these steps expecting anything, we're likely to be very disappointed with the results. We want to ask ourselves if we are pinning our hopes on gaining the forgiveness of the person to whom we are making amends. Or maybe we're hoping we'll be excused from our debts by some sympathetic creditor moved to tears by our hard-luck story.

We need to be willing to make our amends regardless of the outcome. We can plan the amends, but we can't plan the results. Although we may not be granted a full pardon by everyone to whom we owe amends, we will learn to forgive ourselves. In the process, we will find that we no longer have to carry the burdens of the past.

Just for today: I will let go of any expectations I have on the people to whom I owe amends.

pg. 292

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
What we do upon some great occasion will probably depend on what we already are: and what we already are will be the result of previous years of self-discipline. --H. P. Viddon
In the ninth inning of the baseball game with a tie score and the bases loaded, the batter hit a home run. The fans and the team cheered wildly, and the batter was jubilant.
What many fans did not know was that he had been playing on baseball teams for fifteen years. Many times he struggled without being noticed. He wondered if he was any good or not, and there were days he had to make himself go out and practice. He made many mistakes, but his love and dedication for the game had always won out.
It is the years of discipline that prepare us for our big moments in life. Daily practice and love give our lives a direction, even through times of doubt and despair. By doing our best each day and learning from our mistakes, we prepare ourselves for the big moments--the home runs--in our lives.
How are my mistakes and pains today a part of my future success?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Forgiveness is another word for letting go. --Matthew Fox
Learning forgiveness - both granting it to others and accepting it for ourselves - is one of the primary means of a man's spiritual recovery. Many of us, after entering this program, are plagued with strong feelings of guilt. We have finally become accountable, and we see our lives in a new perspective. We long for a chance to undo our mistakes. Many men carry guilt for years as if they deserved to be punished. Our recovery program tells us to let go.
Simply going through the motions of forgiving or accepting forgiveness will not get us very far. We must squarely face our feelings and tell someone so we are no longer alone with our guilt. Then, if there is the possibility for repair without further hurt, we must make repair. In this concrete way we can be genuinely forgiven and fully accept forgiveness. When a man has a spiritual experience like this, he matures and gains the ability to forgive others.
I am grateful for the relief of being forgiven and letting go of past mistakes. I will genuinely let go of my guilt and resentment.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Many people are living in an emotional jail without recognizing it. --Virginia Satir
Each of us is blessed with an internal guide, a source able to direct our actions if we but acknowledge it. Never are we in doubt for long about what path to take. The courage to take it might not be immediately forthcoming; however, it, too, is one of the gifts with which we've been blessed. Courage is ours for the asking. Right direction is ours for the taking.
Trusting our inner selves takes practice, followed by attention to the results of our risks. Before recovery, many of us passively waited for others to orchestrate our behavior, our feelings, and our attitudes. Stepping forward as the leading lady, with our own script in hand is quite a change, but one we are being coached, daily, to make.
The Steps help us to know who we are. More importantly, they help us become the women we long to be. But most important, they offer us the spiritual strength to risk listening to the message within and the strength to go forth as directed.
Right results, again and again, are elicited by right action. And my knowledge of the right action is always, and forever, as close as myself.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Taking Care of Ourselves
It's healthy, wise, and loving to be considerate and responsive to the feelings and needs of others. That's different from caretaking. Caretaking is a self defeating and, certainly, a relationship defeating behavior - a behavior that backfires and can cause us to feel resentful and victimized - because ultimately, what we feel, want, and need will come to the surface.
Some people seem to invite emotional caretaking. We can learn to refuse the invitation. We can be concerned; we can be loving, when possible; but we can place value on our own needs and feelings too. Part of recovery means learning to pay attention to, and place importance on, what we feel, want, and need, because we begin to see that there are clear, predictable, and usually undesirable consequences when we don't.
Be patient and gentle with yourself as you learn to do this. Be understanding with yourself when you slip back into the old behavior of emotional caretaking and self-neglect.
But stop the cycle today. We do not have to feel responsible for others. We do not have to feel guilty about not feeling responsible for others. We can even learn to let ourselves feel good about taking responsibility for our needs and feelings.
Today, I will evaluate whether I've slipped into my old behavior of taking responsibility for another's feelings and needs, while neglecting my own. I will own my power, right, and responsibility to place value on myself.


Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept me as I am. Today I am doing everything that I can to totally accept you as you are. I am free to have an honest relationship with me and you today. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 6
What Are Your Priorities?

I was working away in my cabin, trying to print out the pages I had typed into my computer. It was taking half an hour to print each page. I had one hundred pages to go. For the umpteenth time I checked my computer, checked the program, checked the printer, checked everything I knew to see why it was printing so slowly. It all seemed to be set up properly. Then I accidentally touched a control setting, one I hadn’t noticed before. It was my priority control. It was set on low. I switched it to high priority. The pages now began to print at top speed.

Priorities are important. Learning how to focus our energy according to priorities– even though we’re going with the flow– is an important part of our lives. It’s one of the powers we’re learning.

What are your priorities? Is living from your heart one of them? Are there tasks you’d like to accomplish? Skills you’d like to acquire? Is meditation being centered, and living your life from a place of balance an area you’ve designated as critical?

Is loving yourself a priority? How important is your spiritual growth? What priority have you assigned to other areas like pleasure, having fun, feeling joy? Are your priorities set on high, medium,or low?

Look around and you’ll see your answers. Your life as it is now reflects the priorities you have chosen so far. If something is happening too slowly, try switching your priority setting from low to high.

*****

more language of letting go
See it simple

"It's too much," I said to my instructor. "Jumping out of a plane is too much for my mind to comprehend."

"Then keep it simple," he said. "Break it down into parts. You have the ride up, where you practice relaxing, your exit, your free-fall time; then you deploy your parachute. Then you decide if it's working or if you need to go to plan B. Next set up your landing pattern. When you get near the ground, pull your strings and flare."

I could handle the steps, but the big picture of jumping out of an airplane was too much to envision. But exiting, falling stable, pulling, and flaring were simple parts that felt manageable. My mind could comprehend these simple tasks.

You may never make a skydive. Or maybe you will. But there's a lot of things in life that seem like too much if we try to see them all as one big thing. I never thought I could stay sober and drug-free for twenty-seven years. But with God's help and the help of the program, I believed I could refrain from using drugs and alcohol for twenty-four hours. Then the nexr day, I got up and believed the same thing again.

There have been times I didn't think I could start my life over. But I could get up in the morning and do the things I thought best for that day.

Are you facing something now in your life that feels too overwhelming? Then simplify it. Break it down into manageable parts until you can see how simple it is.

God, I'm complicating a task or making it too big and unmanageable in my mind, help me to simplify what I see.

*****

In All Kinds Of Weather
Being Happy For Friends

When we are close friends with someone, we intuitively know when they need a hug, a helping hand, or a sympathetic ear. Likewise, when we are going through bleak periods in our lives, we count on friends to support us through loss, illness, and other setbacks, both big and small. And while part of being a good friend means being there when the other person needs us, it is just as important to be there for our friends so we can share in their joyous celebrations and triumphs.

After all, who else would our friends want to celebrate their promotions, graduations, marriages, and good news with than their loved ones and good friends. Yet depending on what is happening in our lives, it can sometimes be difficult to be there for our friends during the good times. We can become so busy with our own lives that we forget to make time. Or, we may be so focused on our own problems that we may not feel like celebrating with our friends. We may even take their joyful moments for granted, assuming that as long as we’re there for our friends during the bad times that we are doing our jobs. Yet part of being a true friend means also being there during the good times. Success and happiness can feel empty without someone to share them with, and who better to join in our victory dances than our good friends.

Taking the time from our busy lives to honor our friends’ happy moments is a wonderful way to show them that they matter. And in many ways, by wanting you around during their happy occasions, your friends are also honoring you. After all, it is the people we cherish that we want around us to sing at our birthdays, visit our newborn babies, and pop open that bottle of champagne with when we reach a milestone moment. The next time a friend wants you to be there to celebrate with them, remember to feel honored that they thought of asking you. Together, you can celebrate their happiness and your rich friendship.

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

As we “keep coming back” to meetings, we’re able to recognize those people who have an abundance of serenity. We are drawn to such people. to our surprise, we sometimes find that those who seem most grateeful for today’s blessings are the very ones who have the most serious and continuing problems at home or at work. Yet they have the courage to turn away from such problems, actively seeking to learn and hel others in The Program. How hav ethey gotten this serenity? It must be because they depend less on themselves and their own limited resources — and more on a Power greater than themselves in whom they have confidence. Am I acquiring the gift of serenity? Have my actions begun to reflect my inner faith?

Today I Pray

May I never cease to be awed by the serenity I see in oohters in my group — a serenity which manifest their comfortable surrender to a Higher Power. May I learn from them that peace of mind is possible even in the thick of trouble. May I, too, learn that I need to pull back from my problems now and then and draw upon the God-provided pool of serenity within myself.

Today I Will Remember

Serenity is surrender to God’s plan.

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One More Day

Every human being is a problem in search of a solution.
– Ashely Montagu

Despite the occasional disance or coolness that many of us sense within, we are also aware of wellsprings of emotion, ready to flow with feelings that have been long hidden. It sometimes takes a crisis, such as illness, chemical deendency, or loss of a loved one to literally drive us to seek help.

Trying to uncover deeply hidden painful emotions can feel like a treacherous path to follow, and some of us may be tempted to stop trying. But if we honestly open ourselves to these feelings, we can begin to know ourselves better and to build healthyier and more mature relationships.

Change can be frightening, especially when I’ve been hiding from my own emotions. If there is a problem, dealing with my emotions is part of the solution.

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One Day At A Time

LONGINGS

“The great question - which I have not been able
to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?'”
Sigmund Freud

All my life I have been searching for what I “really want”. I tried sports, different jobs, friends, lovers and traveling. I even tried therapy. None of these ever worked. Once I had what I thought I wanted, I didn't want it anymore. The urge to want -- to long for the best things -- was an inner, unsatisfied hunger. Excessive food became my sedating drug. When using food, I was numb to my longings. I felt it was impossible to fill this void. It seemed I would never know or receive what I wanted.

The 12 step program of recovery taught me that I could have anything I wanted -- if God gave it to me. When I stopped wanting everything so badly, and I surrendered to be His child and employee, I learned that what I'd thought of as “wanting”, was actually what I was “missing”. I missed everything important in my life, so I wanted everything. It was never enough ~ never the right thing or the right person. I felt that even I was "wrong" because I was without love, patience, tolerance or companionship. In OA I found all of that. With God's help, I now have those things in my life every day when I ask for it and accept it as part of me today.

One day at a time...
I no longer want so much, and I am thankful for what I receive. I am receiving more than I have ever dreamed of.
~ Trine

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it. - Pg. 73 - Into Action

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Right now, you are getting rid of the toxic things in your life: toxic substances, toxic people, toxic behavior patterns and toxic thoughts. The only way to do this is to look, listen, and imitate those that have already done it. Slowly it becomes real for you, too.

I know that I cannot find this new path alone. Let me accept the guidance of those that have gone before me.

My Reservoir of Peace

There is nothing in my day that is more important than my serenity. It is my responsibility to maintain and attend to it. Whatever I do in the world, my serenity comes first. I owe it to no one. I will pay attention today to the myriad of ways in which I am thrown off balance and I will take a moment to center myself, to breathe, to remember that when I can calm my body, mind and spirit, I interact differently the people, places and things of my day. I will work daily to build my serenity muscles so that I stay strong and flexible. Serenity isn't something that I can just grab and have. I need to nourish it through quiet and reflection and come back to it what I lose it. My serenity is mine to look after. I give myself the gift of my own serenity today and every day.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'The choice is up to you. It can either be 'Good morning, God!' or 'Good God, morn-ing.' ~Dr. Wayne Dryer, Everyday Wisdom
Choice, not chance, determines my day.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Take the program seriously, not yourself.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting.

If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well.

Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I heard this guy sharing and he said : 'I ended up drinking wine, alone, in an alley.' I started out drinking wine, alone, in an alley. - Danny T.

[bluidkiti]

October 7

Daily Reflections

DAILY MONITORING

Continued to take personal inventory. . . . .
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 88

The spiritual axiom referred to in the Tenth Step--
"every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause,
there is something wrong with us"--also tells me that
there are no exceptions to it. No matter how unreasonable
others may seem, I am responsible for not reacting
negatively. Regardless of what is happening around me I
will always have the prerogative, and the responsibility,
of choosing what happens within me. I am the creator of
my own reality. When I take my daily inventory, I know
that I must stop judging others. If I judge others, I
am probably judging myself. Whoever is upsetting me most
is my best teacher. I have much to learn from him or her,
and in my heart, I should thank that person.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Do I put too much reliance on any one member of the group?
That is, do I make a tin god out of some one person? Do I
set that person on a pedestal? If I do, I am building my
house on sand. A.A. members have "clay feet." They are all
only one drink away from a drunk, no matter how long they
have been in A.A. This has been proved to be true more than
once. It's not fair to any member to be singled out as a
leader in A A. and to always quote that member on the A.A.
program. If that person should fail, where would I be?

Meditation For The Day

You must always remember that you are weak but that God is
strong. God knows all about your weakness. He hears every
cry for mercy, every sign of weakness, every plea for help,
every sorrow over failure, every weakness felt and expressed.
We only fail when we trust too much to our own strength. Do
not feel bad about your weakness. When you are weak, that is
when God is strong to help you. Trust God enough, and your
weakness will not matter. God is always strong to save.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may learn to lean on God's strength.
I pray that I may know that my weakness is God's opportunity.

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As Bill Sees It

Speak Up Without Fear, p.278

Few of us are anonymous so far as our daily contacts go. We have
dropped anonymity at this level because we think our friends and
associates ought to know about A.A. and what it has done for us. We
also wish to lose the fear of admitting that we are alcoholics. Though
we earnestly request reporters not to disclose our identities, we
frequently speak before semipublic gatherings. We wish to convince
audiences that our alcoholism is a sickness we no longer fear to discuss
before anyone.

If, however, we venture beyond this limit, we shall surely lose the principle
of anonymity forever. If every A.A. felt free to publish his own name, picture,
and story, we would soon be launched upon a vast orgy of personal publicity.

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"While the so-called public meeting is questioned by many A.A. members,
I favor it myself providing only that anonymity is respected in press reports
and that we ask nothing for ourselves except understanding."

1. Grapevine, January 1946
2. Letter, 1949

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Walk In Dry Places

Taming the instincts.
Orderly direction
Though alcoholics can appear to have serious shortcomings, these problems
are really only misguided attempts to satisfy needs that must be met. In the
12 Step program, we do not deny our human needs. We realize, however, that
these needs must be met in moral, constructive ways. Falso methods of meeting
needs will bring false, harmful results.
We can meet our needs in an orderly manner by turning to our Higher Power and
following the slow and impractical, but over the longer term we will come to see that
it is the right way to live. Our instinctive needs are proper and God-given, but they
must not run wild in our lives. Living sober also means taming our instincts.
I'll not be surprised by the various needs I may feel today. I am committed, however,
to a moral and principled response to these needs.

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Keep It Simple

We never thought we could get old.---Bob Dylan
Here we are no longer children. Yet we’re not quite grown up either. At least,
we don’t always feels grown up. Our program helps us accept the stages of our life.
And the child in our heart is getting happier. In some ways, we feel younger everyday.
We’re also starting to feel older and wiser. It feels good. We’re not so afraid of the
world, because we’re learning better ways to live in it. We can learn by having friends
who teach us to stay young at heart.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me be the best I can be, at the age I am today.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll call an older friend and ask him or her this question:
“What’s the most important thing you’ve learned about life since you were my age?”

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Each Day a New Beginning

There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold.
--Ruth P. Freedman
We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single
event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something
valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are
long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today
takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring.
Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process
and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives
have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll
discover freedom.
Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them
as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish
when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and
leave the outcome where it belongs.
I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will
do my part, and no more.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

If you and your husband find a solution for the pressing problem of drink you are, of course, going to very happy. But all problems will not be solved at once. Seed has started to sprout in a new soil, but growth has only begun. In spite of your new-found happiness, there will be ups and downs. Many of the old problems will still be with you. This is as it should be.

p. 117

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

Plummeting into the pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization that that relationship became, I had my first drunk driving arrest. It terrified me; I could have killed someone. Driving in a total blackout, I "came to" handing my driver's license to the patrolman. I swore it would never happen again. Three months later it happened again. What I didn't know then was that when I put alcohol in my body, I'm powerless over how much and with whom I drink--all good intentions drowned in denial.

p. 330

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Before we ask what a spot-check inventory is, let's look at the kind of setting in which such an inventory can do its work.
It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.
If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also. But are there no exceptions to this rule? What about "justifiable" anger? If somebody cheats us, aren't we entitled to be mad? Can't we be properly angry with self-righteous folk? For us of A.A. these are dangerous exceptions. We have found that justified anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it.

p. 90

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With God everyday,
I make my way.
I hold on to God’s hand
As I journey through this land.
--Tammy

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within
us.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

Do not let a desire for wealth cause you to become so consumed by your
work that you prevent happiness for yourself and your family. Happiness is foremost. A
look filled with understanding, and accepting smile, a loving word, a meal shared in
warmth and awareness are the things which create happiness in the present moment. By
nourishing awareness in the present moment, you can avoid causing suffering to yourself
and those around you.
--Thich Nhat Hanh

"No matter how much you talk to your plant, if you don't water it, it's going to die."
--Mike Perry

Thoughts and beliefs are nothing without action"
--James A. Ray

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

POWER

"The first and great
commandment is 'Don't let them
scare you.'"
-- Elmer Davis

In my sobriety I still need to deal with fear. A fear of people, a fear of not being good
enough, a fear of saying the wrong thing, a fear of not looking "good enough" --- fear still
haunts me in sobriety.

However, my recovery also tells me that I am a child of God. I am a beautiful and
powerful human being because God not only made me, but has shared something of His
precious divinity with me. I am good enough. In Him I can afford to risk. Love must begin
with the recognition of self.

Today I must remember that people are not "out to get me". I need not make myself the
victim. People are much the same inside, and we all need each other to survive.

Thank You for the power to live with my fear.

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Let them give thanks for His unfailing love and His wonderful deeds for
men, for He satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
Psalm 107:8-9

"Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you."
Psalm 55:22

We love Him, because He first loved us.
1 John 4:19

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Daily Inspiration

Be grateful for the simple things that you can do such as being able to see, to walk, to have
health and to be able to face life with peace of mind. Lord, on a daily basis I will count my
many unnamed blessings.

Smile. If you know that God is with you and will never fail you, then you always have every
reason to smile. Lord, my heart seeks You and clings to You and I rejoice.

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NA Just For Today

Depending On Our Higher Power

"As recovering addicts, we find that we are still dependent, but our dependence has shifted from the things around us to a loving God and the innerstrength we get in our relationship with Him."

Basic Text pp.67-68
For many addicts, rebelliousness is second nature. We didn't want to depend on anyone or anything, and especially not on God. The beauty of using, we thought, was that it gave us the power to be and feel anything we wanted, all by ourselves. But the price we paid for this illusory freedom was a dependence beyond our worst nightmares. Rather than freeing us, using enslaved us.

When we came to Narcotics Anonymous, we learned that dependence on God didn't have to mean what we may have thought it meant. Yes, if we wanted to be restored to sanity, we would need to tap "a Power greater than ourselves." However, we could choose our own concept of this Higher Power - we could even make one up. Dependence on a Higher Power would not limit us, we discovered; it would free us.

The Power we find in recovery is the power we lacked on our own. It is the love we were afraid to depend on others for. It is the sense of personal direction we never had, the guidance we couldn't humble ourselves to ask for or trust others to give. It is all these things, and it is our own. Today, we are grateful to have a Higher Power to depend on.

Just for today: I will depend on the love and inner strength I draw from the God of my own understanding.

pg. 293

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
There are two kinds of slaves, the prisoners of addiction, and the prisoners of envy. --Ivan Ilich
No emotion brings us more personal pain or wastes more of our time than envy. When we envy, we are never free from stress, because envy takes no holidays. Shakespeare called envy the green sickness. Envy magnifies molehills into mountains.
Just how foolish envy truly is becomes clear when we think of it as a row of hooks on which to hang grudges. When we envy others, especially our family members, we blind ourselves to the good we could see in all people. We are ignoring life's flowers to gather bouquets of weeds.
When we envy the accomplishments or possessions of another, we will be better off if we look to our own prized possessions, to those things in ourselves that no one else has in exactly the same way.
What riches do I have within and around me?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
If there are two hundred people in a room and one of them doesn't like me, I've got to get out. --Marlon Brando
How much acceptance is enough for us? Do we feel one person's criticism undermines the acceptance of 199 others? Do we get so focused on one person's negative response to us that we cannot hear the positive? If we are unable to accept criticism from others, it becomes a sink without a plug, draining away all the positives we naturally have in our life.
As we become spiritual men, we're able to detach from negative and critical messages. We must still hear them. We must still listen to their messages because we can learn from them. But we can separate ourselves from the negative message. We can make a mistake. Someone can dislike us. But we do not give up our places as equal, worthwhile men for any reason.
God, I pray for your support when my own strength to stand up for myself falters.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
There is a divine plan of good at work in my life. I will let go and let it unfold. --Ruth P. Freedman
We are never certain of the full importance or the eventual impact of any single event in our lives. But of one thing we can be sure: Each experience offers something valuable to our overall development. We must not discount the experiences that are long gone. They contributed to all we've achieved at the present. And wherever today takes us will influence what tomorrow will bring.
Perhaps our greatest difficulty as recovering women is not trusting that life is a process and one that promises goodness. That growth and change are guaranteed. That our lives have design, and we're blessed therein. Trusting isn't easy. But we can learn, and we'll discover freedom.
Letting go of the outcome of every experience, focusing instead on our efforts, making them as good as possible, validates our trust in the ultimate goodness of life. Our frustrations diminish when our efforts, only, are our concern. How much easier our days go when we do our work and leave the outcome where it belongs.
I will know a new freedom when I let go and trust that "my plan" is unfolding as it must. I will do my part, and no more.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Naivete
We can be loving, trusting people and still not allow ourselves to be used or abused. We don't have to let people do whatever they want to us. Not all requests are legitimate! Not all requests require a yes!
Life may test us. People may seek out our weak spots. We may see a common denominator to the limits that are being tested in our life. If we have a weak spot in one area, we may find ourselves tested repeatedly in that area by family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors. Life, people, our Higher Power, and the universe may be trying to teach us something specific.
When we learn that lesson, we will find that problems with that area dwindle. The boundary has been set, the power has been owned. For now, the lesson has been learned. We may need to be angry with certain people for a while, people who have pushed our tolerance over the edge. That's okay. Soon, we can let go of the anger and exchange it for gratitude. These people have been here to help us learn about what we don't want, what we won't tolerate, and how to own our power.
We can thank them for what we have learned.
How much are we willing to tolerate? How far shall we let others go with us? How much of our anger and intuition shall we discount? Where are our limits? Do we have any? If we don't, we're in trouble.
There are times to not trust others, but instead trust ourselves and set boundaries with those around us.
Today, I will be open to new awareness about the areas where I need healthier boundaries. I will forego my naive assumption that the other person is always right. I will exchange that view for trusting myself, listening to myself, and having and setting healthy boundaries.


I no longer decide what I should feel. That is very limiting. If I limit my negative feelings, I limit my positive feelings as well. Today I am opening myself to all my feelings. That gives me great joy. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 7
Value the Power of Seeing

I have learned a valuable tool. It is one of the easiest and most powerful tools I’ve been given. I call it the power of seeing.

It is the simple act of observing myself: what I do, how I react, how I respond to others. It is particularly useful in situations that have gotten confused or sticky and I don’t know what to do to become unstuck. When I feel overwhelmed or a situation gets too difficult and I can’t see my way through, I watch myself. It helps.

Learn to observe yourself. Let yourself really see and be present in the moment in the situation you’re in. Watch yourself as a neutral observer would, without judgement. Try to see the other person in the same way. Watch how the two of you interact, respond to each other. Watch yourself think and feel. See the actions you take. You don’t have to talk about what you’re doing; it’s better if you don’t. Just stay with yourself. Do it once. Do it twice. Then do it again.

Soon you’ll begin to see something else: you’ll begin to see the situation change, evolve, take a turn for the better. The power of seeing is one most of us can easily claim. It helps, heals, and sometimes produces miracles. Physicists have deicided that the act of observing can impact the behavior, appearance, or energy of whatever is being observed. How we look at someone, including ourselves, can have an impact, cause a change.

There’s power in seeing. There’s even more power in seeing with the eyes of love.

*****

more language of letting go
Tell yourself how simple it is

Here's another example about the power of simplification.

For years, I heard about hiking. It sounded so elusive, difficult, and mysterious. I didn't do it, but I thought about hiking wistfully. One day, a friend asked me to go hiking with him. "Sure," I said. As the day of our hike approached, I began thinking things through. I was getting a little nervous. What if I couldn't do it well enough? What if I didn't know how to do it at all?

Don't be ridiculous, I scolded myself. You're making this much more complicated than it really is. Hiking is just walking, and you've been doing that since you were ten months old.

The next day, I arose at 6:00 A.M., and my friend and I left for our hike. I followed my friend as he began walking up the steep incline.

Just walk, I told myself after the first ten steps. Put one foot in front of another. Walk like you've done all your life.

I didn't make it to the top of the mountain that day, but I made it almost halfway.

Is there something you've wanted to do but have put off because it sounds too difficult and complicated? Are you saying no to something in your life that you'd like to say yes to, but it seems elusive and out of your reach? Try reducing the task or activity to its simplest form.

I have a friend who hadn't dated for years. One day, a girl he liked asked him to go to the movies. He was anxious and nervous.

"Going to a movie is just sitting down and staring at the screen, then getting up and going home when you've finished," I said. "I think you can do that."

"You're right," he said. He went and had a great time.

Sometimes we can scare ourselves out of doing the easiest thing in life. Yes, hiking involves more than walking. And going on a date with someone involves a little more than sitting and staring at a screen. But not that much more. Simplify things. Bring them down to their most manageable level. Instead of talking yourself out of living, learn to talk yourself into it.

God, give me the courage to fully live my life. Help me deliberately talk myself into doing things, instead of scaring myself away.

*****

Avoiding Negative Vibrations
Taking on the Energy of Others

There are times when you may find that being around certain individuals or groups of people leaves you with feelings of discomfort. It may be that spending time with a particular friend feels draining or that dealing with a specific coworker exhausts you. Being around toxic or angry people is also draining. And you may even find that being surrounded by a crowd of people lowers your energy levels rather than perks you up. This is not that unusual. Each of us radiates energy and is capable of being influenced by the energy of other people. It is important to learn how to shield yourself, so you don’t unknowingly take on someone else’s energy. While some people know how to instinctively protect themselves from being adversely affected by energy, most of us need to discover and practice the technique that works best.

There are a number of ways to avoid being affected by people’s energy. Shielding is one preventative technique you can use. Center yourself and envision being enveloped in a cocoon of loving and protective light. This protective layer should allow you to consciously regulate the energy around you. The intent to shield oneself is all you need for this technique to work. You can even create a trigger word to assist you in quickly creating a shield. Say this word each time you create a new shield, until the word and the shield become automatically associated in your mind. If you run into a person whose energy you find draining, you may want to cleanse your own energy field after your encounter. Sage, cold showers, singing, mineral water baths, spending time in nature, and a simple break to recharge are all ways to accomplish this.

While it is important to know how to shield yourself from energy, there are those energies that you may not want to shut out. The energy of laughter from a newborn baby, the feeling of joy radiating from someone in love, and the frequency of calm emanating from an enlightened teacher are just some of the energies coming from others that you may want to have around you. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I first read the Serenity Prayer, the word “serenity” itself seemed like an impossibility. At the time, the word conjured up images of lethargy, apathy, resignation, or grim-faced endurance; it hardly seemed a desirable goal. But I’ve since found that serenity means none of those things. Serenity for me today is simply a clear-eyed and realistic way of seeing the world, accompanied by inner peace and strength. My favorite definition is, “Serenity is like a gyroscope that lets us keep our balance no matter what turbulence swirls around us.” Is that a state of mind worth aiming for?

Today I Pray

may I notice that “serenity” comes first, ahead of “courage” and “wisdom,” in the sequence of the Serenity Prayer. May I believe that “serenity” must also come first in my life. I must have the balance, realistic outlook and acceptance that is part of this blessing of serenity before I can go on to the kind of action and decision-making that will bring order to my existence.

Today I Will Remember

Serenity comes first.

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One More Day

Honor your challenges, for those spaces that you label as dark are actually there to bring you more light.
– Sanaya Roman

Many of us have wondered whether we should begin using adaptive living aids openly. We worry about what people would think if they saw us using equipment that brands us as handicapped. We fear embarrassment. Some folks never solve the problem, and they stay at home, trapped by their fears of being noticed, of being different. It’s difficult to forfeit the anonymity of being the same as everyone else.

One thing is certain — without special gadgets, we have to ask for help. So, with foresight and a fierce sense of independence, many of us grasp any opportunity to “do” for ourselves. We can use aids because they will assist and support our zest for life.

I will risk being different. By using adaptive devices I can remain more independent.

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One Day At A Time

WISDOM
“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom
when it becomes too proud to weep,
too grave to laugh,
and too selfish to seek other than itself.”
Kahlil Gibran

When I heard the serenity prayer at the first OA meeting I attended, I didn’t understand what it meant to accept what I couldn’t change, have courage to change the things I could, and wisdom to know the difference. I said it at each meeting and hoped that eventually I would somehow find that wisdom. It was quite some time into my recovery when I finally understood what having wisdom really meant.

Before Program, I never accepted things or people the way they were. I felt paralyzed by my fears about what wasn’t working in my life. This fear kept me from seeing what I could change, or even try to change, in my life.

I finally realized that before coming into the Program I had put on a mask and never let anyone know the real me. I didn’t know how to laugh or cry, and I certainly never knew how to reach out to others because it was always about me and my unfortunate life.

But once I finally allowed myself to be real and vulnerable with others, miracles began to happen. I became more willing to accept people and places as exactly the way they should be at that time. I was able to walk through my fears and learn what I could change in my life. To my delight, when I became more vulnerable to others it didn’t make me weak; rather, I felt a strength and power flow through me and I became more able to know the difference between what I could or couldn’t change, and for me, that is wisdom.

One day at a time...
May I always be willing to know the difference between what I can and cannot change.
~ Sharon S.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so. The best reason first: If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. Time after time newcomers have tried to keep to themselves certain facts about their lives. Trying to avoid this humbling experience, they have turned to easier methods. Almost invariably they got drunk. - Pgs. 72-73 - Into Action

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

'First Things First' is definitely a good philosophy but in the third week of recovery it seems impossible. For us at this time the ONLY thing we have to do is stay away from that first fix, pill, or drink.

Whatever problems I think I have, the first and most important consideration is to stay away from that first fix, pill, snort, or drink!

Putting in the Elbow Grease

I will be willing to do the daily work that is required to have the life I want to have. A good life is brought forth through many doors. The door of visualization, the door or seeing and the door of work. As I progress along my path I will learn how to 'work smarter'. How to use my energies more efficiently and waste less time needlessly. I'll learn how to get out of my own way and let my energies flow more freely. I'll learn how to listen to others and make my own decisions, how to have boundaries that are porous and flexible rather than either rigid or weak. I will find my sense of self and be able to sustain it even in the presence of others. I'll develop strength, wisdom, patience and compassion. I will develop my own unique gifts and strengths.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Why wonder why? Why ask why? The 'why' questions spring from only one place inside: self-pity. The questions to ask are the 'how' questions. The right questions contain clues to the answers we need.

When I ask the right question, I get the right answer.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Keep an unmade mind instead of a mind made up.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks.

Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks.

Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back.

[bluidkiti]

October 8

Daily Reflections

DAILY INVENTORY

. . . . and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 59

I was beginning to approach my new life of sobriety with
unaccustomed enthusiasm. New friends were cropping up
and some of my battered friendships had begun to be
repaired. Life was exciting, and I even began to enjoy my
work, becoming so bold as to issue a report on the lack
of proper care for some of our clients. One day a co-worker
informed me that my boss was really sore because a complaint,
submitted over his head, had caused him much discomfort at
the hands of his superiors. I knew that my report had created
the problem, and began to feel responsible for my boss's
difficulty. In discussing the affair, my co-worker tried to
reassure me that an apology was not necessary, but I soon
became convinced that I had to do something, regardless of how
it might turn out. When I approached my boss and owned up to
my hand in his difficulties, he was surprised. But unexpected
things came out of our encounter, and my boss and I were able
to agree to interact more directly and effectively in the future.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

There is such a thing as being too loyal to any one group.
Do I feel put out when another group starts and some members
of my group leave it and branch out into new territory? Or do
I send them out with my blessing? Do I visit that new offshoot
group and help it along? Or do I sulk in my own tent? A.A.
grows by the starting of new groups all the time. I must
realize that it's a good thing for a large group to split up
into smaller ones, even it if means that the large group
--my own group--becomes smaller. Am I always ready to help
new groups?

Meditation For The Day

Pray--and keep praying until it brings peace and serenity and
a feeling of communion with One who is near and ready to help.
The thought of God is balm for our hates and fears. In praying
to God, we find healing for hurt feelings and resentments. In
thinking of God, doubts and fears leave us. Instead of those
doubts and fears, there will flow into our hearts such faith
and love as is beyond the power of material things to give, and
such peace as the world can neither give nor take away. And with
God, we can have the tolerance to live and let live.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may have true tolerance and understanding.
I pray that I may keep striving for these difficult things.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

The Fine Art Of Alibis, p.279

The majority of A.A. members have suffered severely from
self-justification during their drinking days. For most of us,
self-justification was the maker of excuses for drinking and for all
kinds of crazy and damaging conduct. We had made the invention
of alibis a fine art.

We had to drink because times were hard or times were good, We
had to drink because at home we were smothered with love or not
none at all. We had to drink at work because we were great
successes or dismal failures. We had to drink because our nation
had won a war or lost a peace. And so it went, ad infinitum.

********************************

To see how our own erratic emotions victimized us often took a long
time. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the
word "blame" from our speech and thought.

12 & 12
1. pp. 46-47
2. p. 47

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Changing other people
Relating to others.
"How can I get this person to accept the program?" We hear this often,
for example, when a patient at a treatment center complains about another
who is so negative toward the program "That he's dragging all of us down."
We discovered long ago that we have no power to change or manipulate
others. At the very beginning of AA, its pioneers learned how to maintain
their own sobriety and serenity even as others rebelled and turned against
the program. They learned that negative people can't drag us down unless
we let them.
We might need to review our personal inventory if we're too concerned about
the behavior of others. Ours is a program of attraction, not coercion, and we
"change" people only by demonstrating how well it works for us. Any concern
about another's behavior takes time and energy away from our own commitment
to self-improvement.
I have a personal need and responsibility to carry the mess, but I have neither
the right nor the responsibility to modify anybody's behavior. I'll keep this in
mind today.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

Just Say No.--- Nancy Reagan
We addicts were great at saying no. Our spouse asked us to help around the house
and we said no and went drinking. Friends tried to care, but we said, “No, mind your
own business!” Our parents or our kids begged us to stop drinking, but we said no.
We were also ask to say yes. We always said yes when asked if we wanted to have
a drink or get high. Addiction really mixed us up. When we said no, we should have
said yes. And when we said yes we should have said no.
In recovery, we do things better. We say yes when others ask for help. We say yes
when somebody wants to give us love. We say no to alcohol and other drugs. We
finally answer yes and no the right way---the right way and at the right time for us.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to always say yes to You, even when
I’m tired or angry.
Action for the Day: In today’s inventory, I’ll ask myself if there are any ways I’m
still saying no to my program and Higher Power.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

The great creative power is everything. If you leave out one whole chunk of it,
by making God only masculine, you have to redress the balance. --Martha Boesing
What a blessing, to be part of God! For many of us, invoking God with a male
pronoun put an obstacle in the path of our spiritual growth. We felt left out.
Worship of something called "He" or "Him" didn't jibe with our spirituality.
When we pray, we pray to a spiritual source that includes everything, that leaves
nothing out: sexes, all races, all ages and conditions.
Some of us had no trouble understanding that God is everything, no matter how
God is invoked. But whatever our path to spirituality, the Twelve Step program
has enriched our understanding. Before we practiced the Twelve Steps, we had
allowed ourselves to forget the strength and nurture that are always at hand,
and now we are grateful to be reminded that God is with us, within us, and all is well.
One woman says, "When I feel far from God, I ask myself: Who moved?"
God is always there. Today I will pray for the wisdom to stay close to my spiritual
source, the Creator Spirit.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

The faith and sincerity of both you and your husband will be put to the test. These work-outs should be regarded as part of your education, for thus you will be learning to live. You will make mistakes, but if you are in earnest they will not drag you down. Instead, you will capitalize them. A better way of life will emerge when they are overcome.

p. 117

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

I remembered joking about how most people spent their entire lives without ever seeing the inside of a jail, and here "a woman of my stature" had been arrested three times. But, I would think, I've never really done "hard time," never actually spent the night in jail. Then I met Mr. Wrong, my husband-to-be, and all that changed. I spent my wedding night in jail. Like every other time, however, it wasn't my fault. There we were, still in our wedding clothes. If he had just kept his mouth shut after the police arrived, we would have been fine. I had them convinced that he had attacked the valet because our wedding money was missing. Actually, he thought the valet had stolen the marijuana we were going to smoke. In reality, I was so drunk I had lost it.

pp. 330-331

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified or not. A burst of temper could spoil a day, and a well-nursed grudge could make us miserably ineffective. Nor were we ever skillful in separating justified from unjustified anger. As we saw it, our wrath was always justified. Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely. These emotional "dry benders" often led straight to the bottle. Other kinds of disturbances--jealousy, envy, self-pity, or hurt pride--did the same thing.

p. 90

************************************************** *********

I will exercise patience, as God would, with all others.
--Shelley

"Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than
genial breezes.
Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits."
--Samuel Butler

AA is my anchor in a sea of confusion.

AA brought me home when I had lost my way.

Newcomer or long-timer, we are all the same in our need for each other.

Think it over, not drink over it.

"The voyage of discovery lies not in finding new landscapes, but in having new eyes."
--Marcel Proust

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

UNDERSTANDING

"Intelligence is proved not by
ease of learning but by
understanding what we learn."
-- Joseph Whitney

For years I learned things without understanding what the words, or the meaning behind
the words, really meant. An example was alcoholism. Then a man said, "My name is Bill,
and I am an alcoholic and a recovering human being!" Then it struck me; recovery from a
drug --- alcohol --- was not simply about putting down the glass but about changing and
developing a positive lifestyle as a human being.

The same is true with spirituality. It is not about being religious, going to church or
accepting dogma. It is about finding God in my life, discovering God in the decisions and
actions I take and seeing Him in the world around me. Today I understand spirituality to
be the link that unites all peoples and is centered on what is true and real.

May I continue to search for the meaning within the word and the harmony of
communication.

************************************************** *********

Then they cried to the Lord in their trouble, and He saved them from their distress.
Psalm 107:13

"By day the Lord commands his steadfast love, and at night his song is with me, a prayer
to the God of my life."
Psalm 42:8

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Waste no time on situations that aren't worth your precious time. Lord, may
I recognize pettiness for what it is and move on so that my imagination doesn't
take over and give pettiness more value than it deserves.

Ultimate security does not come from relying on things or people, but from
relying on God. Lord, I place my trust in You. Bless me and keep me in Your
loving care.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

A New Pattern Of Living

"We suspect that if we do not use what we have, we will lose what we have."

Basic Text p. 75

Addiction gave a pattern to our lives, and with it a meaning - a dark, diseased meaning, to be sure, but a meaning nonetheless. The Narcotics Anonymous recovery program gives us a new pattern of living to replace our old routines. And with that new pattern comes a new meaning to our lives, one of light and hope.

What is this new pattern of living? Instead of isolation, we find fellowship. Instead of living blindly, repeating the same mistakes again and again, we regularly examine ourselves, free to keep what helps us grow and discard what doesn't. Rather than constantly trying to get by on our own limited power, we develop a conscious contact with a loving Power greater than ourselves.

Our life must have a pattern. To maintain our recovery, we must maintain the new patterns our program has taught us. By giving regular attention to these patterns, we will maintain the freedom we've found from the deadly disease of addiction, and keep hold of the meaning recovery has brought to our lives.

Just for today: I will begin a new pattern in my life: the regular maintenance of my recovery.

pg. 294

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Learn what you are and be such. --Pindar
The most precious gift we can give those closest to us is honesty. Yet we often hide our true selves from friends, fearing we won't be accepted or loved if we let them see the real us. Often, we show parts of ourselves that hide who we really are. We have often heard ourselves or others say, "My parents would just die if . . . ," or, "don't argue in front of the children."
If we hide too much behind false images, we run the risk of losing track of what is real and what is false. We become actors instead of real people, trying to please Aunt Jane, our grandparents, our big brother, or our children.
When we conquer our fear of letting others in, we are able to see ourselves honestly. When we discover that others accept us as we are, we can accept and love ourselves. To know oneself is to know a person of value.
What part of me have I been hiding?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We cannot avoid
Using power,
Cannot escape the compulsion
To afflict the world,
So let us, cautious in diction
And mighty in contradiction,
Love powerfully.
--Martin Buber
The use and misuse of power by men give us much to weep over and much to admire. In our own families we see how our parents fought over power, how they used it both wisely and abusively. Our problems with power and control are a central part of our addictions and codependency. Admitting our powerlessness has started us toward recovery. Admitting our power will help carry us further.
No one is innocent beyond childhood. We affect the people around us, and it matters how we treat them. We cannot come and go unnoticed. Since we will make an impact, we learn to treat ourselves and the people around us with respect and justice. Our only solution is to learn to love and be loved.
Today, I will be more aware of the power I have in others' lives.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The great creative power is everything. If you leave out one whole chunk of it, by making God only masculine, you have to redress the balance. --Martha Boesing
What a blessing, to be part of God! For many of us, invoking God with a male pronoun put an obstacle in the path of our spiritual growth. We felt left out. Worship of something called "He" or "Him" didn't jibe with our spirituality. When we pray, we pray to a spiritual source that includes everything, that leaves nothing out: sexes, all races, all ages and conditions.
Some of us had no trouble understanding that God is everything, no matter how God is invoked. But whatever our path to spirituality, the Twelve Step program has enriched our understanding. Before we practiced the Twelve Steps, we had allowed ourselves to forget the strength and nurture that are always at hand, and now we are grateful to be reminded that God is with us, within us, and all is well.
One woman says, "When I feel far from God, I ask myself: Who moved?" God is always there. Today I will pray for the wisdom to stay close to my spiritual source, the Creator Spirit.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Learning to Wait
I've started to realize that waiting is an art, that waiting achieves things. Waiting can be very, very powerful. Time is a valuable thing. If you can wait two years, you can sometimes achieve something that you could not achieve today, however hard you worked, however much money you threw up in the air, however many times you banged your head against the wall. . .
--The Courage to Change by Dennis Wholey
The people who are most successful at living and loving are those who can learn to wait successfully. Not many people enjoy waiting or learning patience. Yet, waiting can be a powerful tool that will help us accomplish much good.
We cannot always have what we want when we want it. For different reasons, what we want to do, have, be, or accomplish is not available to us now. But there are things we could not do or have today, no matter what, that we can have in the future. Today, we would make ourselves crazy trying to accomplish what will come naturally and with ease later.
We can trust that all is on schedule. Waiting time is not wasted time. Something is being worked out - in us, in someone else, in the Universe.
We don't have to put our life on hold while we wait. We can direct our attention elsewhere; we can practice acceptance and gratitude in the interim; we can trust that we do have a life to live while we are waiting - then we go about living it.
Deal with your frustration and impatience, but learn how to wait. The old saying, "You can't always get what you want" isn't entirely true. Often, in life, we can get what we want - especially the desires of our heart - if we can learn to wait.
Today, I am willing to learn the art of patience. If I am feeling powerless because I am waiting for something to happen and I am not in control of timing, I will focus on the power available to me by learning to wait.


Today I'm stretching myself and taking new risks. Today the faith is working to replace the fear that has held me back. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey To The Heart
October 8
Leave When It’s Time to Go

It’s time to pick up, pack up, and leave.

You knew you wouldn’t be in this situation in this place with these people forever. Trust the rhythms and cycles of life. Take responsibility for yourself within each cycle. Take responsibility for yourself as each cycle ends and a new one begins.

You don’t have to hold onto messengers after they’ve delivered the message in your life, or escorts after they’ve taken you where you were trying to go. You don’t have to stay in a classroom after you’ve learned the lessons and finished that course.

Open your heart. Thank the people, places, and things that have helped create your world, shape you, form your experiences. Then pick up, pack up, and leave. Say good-bye with love and gratitude in your heart.

And go on down the road.

*****

more language of letting go
Go at your own pace

This part of the path was steep. And the altitude change was severe. I was gasping for breath and trying not to grimace at the ache in my legs as my hiking partner strode up the path in front of me.

He stopped and looked back. I was definitely trailing behind. If his legs were aching the way mine were, his stride didn't show it. I knew how it felt to hold yourself back to someone else's pace. I didn't want to do that to him just because I was out of shape.

"You go on ahead," I yelled.

He looked reluctant.

"Go. Hike at your own pace. I'll hike at mine."

I convinced him to leave me behind. Just because we came together didn't mean that we had to hike, or walk as I preferred to call it, in the same stride. My friend went on ahead of me and disappeared from sight. I hiked, then rested, then hiked, then rested. Once, I stopped, took off my backpack, and took a nap.

My friend and I joined up toward the end of the day. We made the trek down the mountain together, side by side.

Even though we simplify things, most things are harder than we think. It's important to let each person go at their own pace. Whether it's working through an issue or tackling a project in your life, find the pace that works for you. Let others do the same.

Don't compare yourself to those around you. Let yourself be energized by their pace, but respect the rhythm that works for you.

God, help me know that each of us has our own rhythm for getting through life. Help me honor and enjoy the rhythms that work for me.

*****

Centered Silliness
Laughing Meditation by Madisyn Taylor

When we laugh, we give ourselves over to the immediacy of the present moment and transcend stress.

Many people might be surprised to think of laughter as a form of meditation. Yet not only is laughing meditation one of the simplest forms of meditation, but also it is a very powerful one. The physical act of laughing is one of the few actions involving the body, emotions, and the soul. When we laugh, we give ourselves over to the immediacy of the present moment. We also are able to momentarily transcend minor physical and mental stresses. Practiced in the morning, laughing meditation can lend a joyful quality to the entire day. Practiced in the evening, laughing meditation is a potent relaxant that has been known to inspire pleasant dreams. Laughter also can help open our eyes to previously unnoticed absurdities that can make life seem less serious.

There are three stages to mindful laughter. Each stage can last anywhere from 5 to 20 minutes. The first stage involves stretching your body like a cat and breathing deeply. Your stretch should start at the hands and feet before you move through the rest of your body. Stretch out the muscles in your face by yawning and making silly faces. The second stage of the meditation is pure laughter. Imagine a humorous situation, remember funny jokes, or think about how odd it is to be laughing by yourself. When the giggles start to rise, let them. Let the laughter ripple through your belly and down into the soles of your feet. Let the laughter lead to physical movement. Roll on the floor, if you have to, and keep on laughing until you stop. The final stage of the meditation is one of silence. Sit with your eyes closed and focus on your breath.

Laughter brings with it a host of positive effects that operate on both the physical and mental levels. It is also fun, expressive, and a way to release tension. Learn to laugh in the present moment, and you’ll find that joy is always there. Published with permission from Daily OM

******

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Determination — our clenched-jaw resolve that we can do something about everything — is perhaps the greatest hindrance to achieving serenity. Our old tapes tell us, “The difficult can be done immediately; the impossible will take a little longer.” So we tighten up and prepare ourselves for battle, even though we know from long experience that our own will dooms us in advance to failure. Over and over we are told in The Program that we must “Let Go and Let God.” And we eventually do find serenity when we put aside our own will while accepting His will for us. Am I learning to relax my stubborn grip? Do I allow the solutions to unfold by themselves?

Today I Pray

May I loosen my tight-jaw, my tight-fists, my general up-tightness — outward indications of the “do it myself” syndrome which has gotten me into trouble before. May I know from experience that this attitude — of “keep a grip on yourself” and on everybody else, too — is accompanied by impatience and followed by frustration. May I merge my own will with the greater will of God.

Today I Will Remember

Let up on the strangle-hold.

*****

One More Day

Love is all we have, the only way that each can help the other. – Euripides

We may tend to love our family members only with qualifications. Only if they don’t complain about their problems. Only if they are more successful. Perhaps we don’t say this directly, but we might be communicating these qualifications to our loved ones by holding back or by making indirect suggestions as to how they should live their lives.

We may be able to give our love more fully if we remember how much we need acceptance. We don’t want to receive love that is prefaced by “only if . . .” Only if we don’t complain. Only if we stop talking about our illness. We all need the comfort and support of love based on what we are, not on what others think we can or should be. Our loved ones need the same thing.

Knowing I am loved and can love others is an unqualified manner strengthens me.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

WISDOM
“Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.
Those who do not recover are people who cannot
or will not completely give themselves to this simple program.”
The AABB, Chapter 5

I always believed that I had to control every aspect of my life or I would be a “less-than” person. This attitude even crept into my attempts to learn the art of watercolor still life and portraits. Even my art could not escape the effects of my character defects! In order to learn something new, I have to be willing to follow the rules of the very thing I want to learn. I shared this with an experienced artist and best friend, “I find myself still wanting to control the outcome of the colors.”

“Isn’t that the way we try to control our lives? She replied. “Drop the paint where you want it to go, then drop the second color into that one and let it go! You can take your brush and guide it, but don’t mess with it!”

My life is like learning to watercolor. I have to trust that doing the footwork of recovery as others have done will bring about a beautiful portrait of growth in recovery.

One day at a time...
I will do the footwork by making good choices, letting each build upon the other, and I will stand back to see what God will create.
~ Sharon S.

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

I had always believed in a Power greater than myself. I had often pondered these things. I was not an atheist. Few people really are, for that means blind faith in the strange proposition that this universe originated in a cipher and aimlessly rushes nowhere. My intellectual heroes, the chemists, the astronomers, even the evolutionists, suggested vast laws and forces at work. Despite contrary indications, I had little doubt that a mighty purpose and rhythm underlay all. How could there be so much precise and immutable law, and not intelligence? I simply had to believe in a Spirit of the Universe, who knew neither time nor limitation. But that was as far as I had gone. - Pg. 10 - Bill's Story

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Everyone has the right to be wrong! That includes whatever occurs this hour--either our mistake, or another's. But we, or they, have the right to make that mistake. This is not cause for anger or guilt, just understanding.

This hour, understanding our right to be wrong will see me through. Please help me understand.

Spiritual Transformation

Today, I see that to change my life I have to change myself. Nothing less than a spiritual transformation will allow me to experience my current life as an alive, serene and whole person. When I say that I would like world peace, first I will understand that without inner peace there will be no world peace. One of the ways in which I can serve the cause of humanity is to be, within myself, a genuinely spiritual person -- respecting all sects and creeds, but standing on my own as a conduit of higher truth, recognizing that each person has access to that knowledge. I will look for truth today within myself rather than outside. I will not wait for peace to be handed to me as some sort of prize for good behavior but will do the inner work needed to achieve it. Today I give and receive the gift of peace.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

If you think you are a victim of the universe, you are probably right. If you think of yourself as becoming whole from your experience, you are probably right.

I am the victor, not the victim. It took all of my past to make this person I love today.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

This is a self-help program that you can't do by yourself.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I'm willing to trust that no matter what is going on in my life, I am in the process of growth.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

The elevator to sobriety is broken. Please take the steps. - Anon.

[bluidkiti]

October 9

Daily Reflections

A SPIRITUAL AXIOM

It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is
something wrong with us.
12 & 12, p. 90

I never truly understood the Tenth Step's spiritual axiom until I had the following
experience. I was sitting in my bedroom, reading into the wee hours, when suddenly I
heard my dogs barking in the back yard. My neighbors frown on this kind of disturbance
so, with mixed feelings of anger and shame, as well as fear of my neighbor's disapproval,
I immediately called in my dogs. Several weeks later the exact situation repeated itself
but this time, because I was feeling more at peace with myself, I was able to accept the
situation--dogs will bark--and I calmly called in the dogs. Both incidents taught me that
when a person experiences nearly identical events and reacts two different ways, then it
is not the event that is of prime importance, but the person's spiritual condition. Feelings
come from inside, not from outward circumstances. When my spiritual condition is
positive, I react positively.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Am I willing to be bored sometimes at meetings? Am I willing to listen to much repetition
of A.A. principles? Am I willing to hear the same thing over and over again? Am I willing
to listen to a long blow by blow personal story, because it might help some new member?
Am I willing to sit quietly and listen to long-winded members go into every detail of their
past? Am I willing to take it, because it is doing them good to get it off their chest? My
feelings are not too important. The good of A.A. comes first, even if it is not always
comfortable for me. Have I learned to take it?

Meditation For The Day

God would draw us all closer to Him in the bonds of the spirit. He would have all people
drawn closer to each other in the bonds of the spirit. God, the great Spirit of the universe,
of which each of our own spirits is a small part, must want unity between Himself and all
His children. "Unity of the spirit in the bonds of peace." Each experience of our life, of
joy, of sorrow, of danger, of safety, of difficulty, of success, of hardship, of ease, each
should be accepted as part of our common lot, in the bonds of the spirit.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may welcome the bonds of true fellowship. I pray that I may be brought
closer to unity with God and other people.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Spiritually Fit, p.280

Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things
alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go
where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must
shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show
drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their
bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn't think or be reminded
about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily
so.

We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet
them still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with
his spiritual status. His only chance for sobriety would be some place
like the Greenland icecap, and even there an Eskimo might turn up
with a bottle of Scotch and ruin everything!

Alcoholics Anonymous, p.100-101

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Can we tell others they are wrong?
Sharing
As we become more sensitive to others, we soon learn that it's very difficult
to tell another person he or she is wrong. Even when we struggle to be kind
and diplomatic, we can provoke an angry reaction.
We should not be surprised, because showing people they're wrong is one of
the most difficult things in human experience. Few people like to be told that
they're wrong, as we can see when our wrongs are advertised to others.
There is almost no way to directly tell people they're wrong without hurting or
offending the. Furthermore, if they are hurt or offended, they might feel less
inclined to work to correct their behavior.
If we've taken the 12 Step principles to heart, however, we learn first that we
are usually not required to tell anybody that he or she is wrong. But we can
help people simply by relating accounts of situations when we were wrong and
what we did to change. If done properly, this gives the other person the
opportunity to change without feeling resentment or humiliation.
I'll try to be as sensitive as possible to the feelings of others. I'll be especially
careful about trying to show them that they're wrong.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

A man should never be ashamed to own he was in the wrong.---Jonathan Swift
In the past, we felt a mistake was a crisis. We thought we had a to be perfect.
Our old ways was to try to hide our mistakes. We were ashamed. We thought
making mistakes meant we were bad.
Mistakes are normal. We can learn from our mistakes. They can teach us.
They can guide us. The Tenth Step directs us to promptly admit when we’re
wrong. Then, over time, we start to see mistakes as normal life events. As
we face and correct our mistakes, shame is washed away. We feel lighter.
We know it is normal to make mistakes.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see that mistakes are normal life
events. Help me promptly admit when I’m wrong.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll talk to my sponsor about mistakes I’ve made
the past week. I’ll not act ashamed of my mistakes.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

When all of the remedies and all of the rhetorical armor have been dropped,
the absence of love in our lives is what makes them seem raw and unfinished.
--Ingrid Bengis
Love soothes, encourages, inspires. It enhances our wholeness, both when we
give it and when we receive it. Without the expression of love we are severed
from our family and friends. It's the bond that strengthens each of us, giving us
the courage to tackle what's lying ahead.
We need not wait for someone else's expression of love before giving it. Loving
must be unconditional. And when it is, it will be returned tenfold. Loving attracts
itself, and it will heal us, soften the hard edges of our lives, and open us up to
receive the blessings that others' gratitude will foster.
It's such a simple thing asked of us--to love one another. Unconditional love of
our sisters, our lovers, and our children breaks down the barriers to our achievements
and theirs. Loving frees us to enjoy life. It energizes us and makes all goals attainable.
We carry God's message through our love of one another.
I am charged with only one responsibility today: to love someone, dearly and wholly.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

Some of the snags you will encounter are irritation, hurt feelings and resentments. Your husband will sometimes be unreasonable and you will want to criticize. Starting from a speck on the domestic horizon, great thunderclouds of dispute may gather. These family dissensions are very dangerous, especially to your husband. Often you must carry the burden of avoiding them or keeping them under control. Never forget that resentment is a deadly hazard to an alcoholic. We do not mean that you have to agree with you husband whenever there is an honest difference of opinion. Just be careful not to disagree in a resentful or critical spirit.

p. 117

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

During the interrogation of the valet in the restaurant parking lot, my husband became so violent the officer put him in the back of the patrol car. When he tried to kick out the rear windows, the policeman retaliated. I pleaded with the officer as a second policeman arrived, and both bride and groom were taken to jail. It was then that the "stolen" marijuana cigarettes were discovered, to my horror, in central booking as they catalogued my belongings. I was arrested for three felonies, including drunk and disorderly, and two misdemeanors, but it was all my husband's fault. I had practically nothing to do with it; he had a drinking problem.

p. 331

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

A spot-check inventory taken in the midst of such disturbances can be of very great help in quieting stormy emotions. Today's spot check finds its chief application to situations which arise in each day's march. The consideration of long-standing difficulties had better be postponed, when possible, to times deliberately set aside for that purpose. The quick inventory is aimed at our daily ups and downs, especially those where people or new events throw us off balance and tempt us to make mistakes.

pp. 90-91

************************************************** *********

"If you could choose one characteristic that would get you through life, choose a sense of
humor."
--Jennifer Jones

It's not the load that breaks you down; it's the way you carry it.
--Lena Horne

"If God brings you to it, He'll bring you through it!"
--From As We See It

"Criticizing anothers garden does not keep the weeds out of yours."
--Unknown

"Do you live in tomorrow when you must face today? At times, I forget to live
in the moment, but what do I miss? The setting sun, the sound of birds' singing
and, most importantly, I miss meeting myself. I am constantly changing, and if I
don't spend time with myself in the here and now, I will never get to appreciate who
I truly am because I am too busy focusing on who I want to be."
--Gary Barnes

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

HUMILITY

"I believe the first test of a
really great man is humility."
-- John Ruskin

An understanding of humility that makes sense to me is that of the man who is aware of
his limitations but still reaches for the stars.

For years I thought that humility was groveling in the dirt. Keeping quiet and acting
obsequious. Being a religious doormat for others to walk upon.

Nothing could be further from the truth! Humility is about speaking your mind, fighting
for your ideas and opinions, creating through effort, sweat and debate. The humble man's
ego is based on reality --- not fed on illusion. When he is wrong, he can admit it and is
open to the ideas of others.

Humility is based upon a realistic self-love.

O God, let me humbly rejoice in Your gift of creativity.

************************************************** *********

He brought them out of darkness and the deepest gloom, and broke away their chains.
Psalm 107:14

Therefore being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:1

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped.
Psalm 78:7

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

When something bothers or upsets you, you can either complain about it or make peace
with it. Lord, help me promptly deal with the distractions of my day and move on to the
things that truly make my day a pleasure.

In your pursuit of happiness, pause to relax and be happy. Lord, slow me down just
enough to enjoy all that You have given to me.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Order

"We emphasize setting our house in order because it brings us relief."

Basic Text p. 93

Focusing on what others are doing can provide momentary relief from having to take a look at ourselves. But one of the secrets of success in Narcotics Anonymous is making sure our own house is in order. So what does "setting our house in order" mean, anyway?

It means we work the steps, allowing us to look at our role in our relationships with others. When we have a problem with someone, we can take our own inventory to find out what our part in the problem has been. With the help of our sponsor, we strive to set it right. Then, each day, we continue taking our inventory to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.

It's pretty simple. We treat others as we would like others to treat us. We promptly make amends when we owe them. And when we turn our lives over to the care of our Higher Power on a daily basis, we can start to avoid running on the self-will so characteristic of our active addiction. Guided by a Power that seeks the best for everyone, our relationships with others will surely improve.

Just for today: I will set my own house in order. Today, I will examine my part in the problems in my life. If I owe amends, I will make them.

pg. 295

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
...but time and chance happeneth to them all. --Ecclesiastes
Life, director of the comedy, always lets things get a little out of hand. We all know what would be normal and right, but the right horse sometimes finishes last in the race, and the jerk has all the money. The wise people, like us, are ignored by all, and the good woman gets in trouble with the law. The saint cheats on his income tax, but he never gets caught the way the needy ones like us do, and the worst sinners get saved in the nick of time, while the fittest sometimes just drop dead.
If all the best-laid plans go wrong, maybe we are meant to learn that such important things aren't so important, after all.
If the skies are custard pies waiting to plop down on our hopeful faces, maybe it is best to accept the gift, count it a blessing, and lick our chops.
How have my failures been successes in disguise?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
Nothing worse could happen to one than to be completely understood. --Carl Jung
We so often long to be understood. We imagine it would cure our loneliness and empty feelings. We think of it as a kind of intimacy. Yet, we may be longing for a false goal. We are each a unique man on an incomplete journey. We don't yet fully understand ourselves. There is still much mystery beneath the surface of our being. If our partners or friends completely understood us, where would we go from there? We would no longer belong to ourselves.
Perhaps we are completely understood by our Higher Power but not by another person. It is a fact of life that we continue to grow and to reveal deeper layers of ourselves. We have relationships in which we can share the mysteries as they unfold. We can talk and be understood. In communication we find our closeness and intimacy.
Today, I will remember that at the deepest level no one can fully understand me. I will communicate with others to deal with my loneliness.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
When all of the remedies and all of the rhetorical armor have been dropped, the absence of love in our lives is what makes them seem raw and unfinished. --Ingrid Bengis
Love soothes, encourages, inspires. It enhances our wholeness, both when we give it and when we receive it. Without the expression of love we are severed from our family and friends. It's the bond that strengthens each of us, giving us the courage to tackle what's lying ahead.
We need not wait for someone else's expression of love before giving it. Loving must be unconditional. And when it is, it will be returned tenfold. Loving attracts itself, and it will heal us, soften the hard edges of our lives, and open us up to receive the blessings that others' gratitude will foster.
It's such a simple thing asked of us--to love one another. Unconditional love of our sisters, our lovers, and our children breaks down the barriers to our achievements and theirs. Loving frees us to enjoy life. It energizes us and makes all goals attainable. We carry God's message through our love of one another.
I am charged with only one responsibility today: to love someone, dearly and wholly.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Self-Disclosure
Learning to gently reveal who we are is how we open ourselves up to love and intimacy in our relationships.
Many of us have hidden under a protective shell, a casing that prevents others from seeing or hurting us. We do not want to be that vulnerable. We do not want to expose our thoughts, feelings, fears, weaknesses, and sometimes our strengths, to others.
We do not want others to see who we really are.
We may be afraid they might judge us, go away, or not like us. We may be uncertain that who we are is okay or exactly how we should reveal ourselves to others.
Being vulnerable can be frightening, especially if we have lived with people who abused, mistreated, manipulated, or did not appreciate us.
Little by little, we learn to take the risk of revealing ourselves. We disclose the real person within to others. We pick safe people, and we begin to disclose bits and pieces about ourselves.
Sometimes, out of fear, we may withhold, thinking that will help the relationship or will help others like us more. That is an illusion. Withholding who we are does not help the other person, the relationship, or us. Withholding is behavior that backfires. For true intimacy and closeness to exist, for us to love ourselves and be content in a relationship, we need to disclose who we are.
That does not mean we tell all to everyone at once. That can be a self-defeating behavior too. We can learn to trust ourselves, about who to tell, when to tell, where to tell, and how much to tell.
To trust that people will love and like us if we are exactly who we are is frightening. But it is the only way we can achieve what we want in relationships. To let go of our need to control others - their opinions, their feelings about us, or the course of the relationship - is the key.
Gently, like a flower, we can learn to open up. Like a flower, we will do that when the sun shines and there is warmth.
Today, I will begin to take the risk of disclosing who I am to someone with whom I feel safe. I will let go of some of my protective devices and risk being vulnerable - even though I may have been taught differently, even though I may have taught myself differently. I will disclose who I am in a way that reflects self-responsibility, self-love, directness, and honesty. God, help me let go of my fears about disclosing who I am to people. Help me accept who I am, and help me let go of my need to be who people want me to be.


Today I'm willing to trust that no matter what is going on in my life, I am in the process of growth. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 9
The Scattered Pieces Will Come Together

Scattered pieces. Sometimes we look around, and that’s what we see. Scattered pieces of ourselves, our lives, a project, a season of our lives. Where is the connecting thread, we wonder? How can we ever pull this together into something that makes sense, something with purpose, something with meaning?

There are pieces to every whole, yet each piece is complete. Don’t worry about how they will come together. Work joyfully on the piece that’s before you, the piece that’s in your life today.

There are many pieces of you, many beautiful parts. The universe will help you bring all those parts alive. It will bring mirrors to you, people who will reflect those beautiful pieces back to you. Look in the mirror of your life. What pieces do you see reflected? Know it’s you you’re seeing. Then let that part of you come alive.

Pull in the parts of yourself, the many beautiful parts that have come alive. Beckon your warrior, your healer, your playful child. Bring together your professional self, your adult, the passionate part of you, the nurturing part. Let all the parts come together. Don’t send any of them away. You need them all. Each is a beautiful piece of the soul, the life, the person you are.

Trust. Trust the process. Joy is yours, available for the asking and the desiring– even in the developmental stages. Even before the puzzle has been put together. The scattered pieces will come together– the scattered pieces of yourself, your project, your life. The connecting thread is love.

The picture will be beautiful. Wait and see.

*****

more language of letting go
Lower your expectations

When you're starting a first creative project or beginning the study of an art or craft, what I want you to do is lower your standards until they disappear. That's right. You're not supposed to be any good at the beginning. So you might as well give yourself the liberating gift of joyously expecting yourself to be bad.
--Barbara Sheer and Annie Gotlieb, Wishcraft

When I first began writing newspaper and magazine articles, it took me anywhere from one to three months to complete a short article. After writing a few years, I brought a timer into my office one day. I told myself I knew how to do what I was doing, now I was going to learn to do it more quickly. Before long, I was able to write in two hours what had previously taken me months to accomplish. The key words here are in time.

When I first began recovering from chemical dependency, it took me eight months of treatment to understand what other people were comprehending in six weeks. In time, I became a chemical dependency counselor. In time, I wrote books on the subject. The key words here are in time.

When I first began recovering from codependency, I couldn't tell a control gesture from setting a boundary. I didn't know when I was taking care of myself or what that even meant. I didn't know manipulation from an honest attempt at expressing my emotions. In time, I wrote a best-seller on the subject. Again, the key words are in time.

Start where you are. Start poorly. Just begin. Let yourself fumble, be awkward and confused. If you already knew how to do it, it wouldn't be a lesson in your life. And you wouldn't get the thrill of victory two, five, or ten years from now when you look back and say, "Wow. I've gotten good at that over time."

All things are possible to him or her that believeth, the Bible says. Enjoy those awkward beginnings. Revel in them. They're the key to your success.

God, help me stop putting off living out of fear of dong it poorly. Help me lower my expectations to allow room for awkward beginnings.

Activity: What have you been putting off or avoiding out of fear of beginning badly? Make a list of each accomplishment you have, whether it's graduating from elementary school or college, learning a new skill at a job, or being a parent. Then, write in your journal about how it felt in the beginning. Now, make a list of the things you want to do. Next to your goal, write these words to yourself: I give you permission to do this poorly in the beginning. Document your performance each time you attempt that goal. Keep coming back to this section of your journal until you find yourself logging how well you did.

*****

Answering The Call
Taking Responsibility For Your Destiny

There are those of us who believe that our lives are predestined and that we should resign ourselves to our lots in life. Yet the truth is that it is up to each one of us to decide what that destiny will be. While each of us is born with a life purpose, it is up to us whether or not we will say yes to fulfilling it. And just like when we choose what to eat, who to keep company with, and whether to turn right or left when we leave our home everyday, choosing to say yes to your destiny is a decision that can only be realized when you take action to make that choice a reality.

Whether you believe it is your destiny to be a parent, an adventurer, an artist, a pioneer, or a spiritual guru, saying yes to your destiny is only the first step. While manifesting your destiny starts with knowing what you want and believing you can attain your goals, there are then the actions that must be taken and the decisions to be made before your destiny can truly happen. When you take responsibility for fulfilling your destiny and begin acting with the intention of doing so, you not only take fate into your own hands, but also you become the hands of your own fate. Doorways inevitably open for you to step through, and every choice you make can be a creative act toward realizing your goals and dreams. You begin to follow your instincts and intuition, recognize opportunities when they are presented to you, and seize those golden moments. You also begin to recognize the decisions that may not serve this greater picture and can more easily push them aside.

Remembering that the decision to fulfill your destiny is always a choice can be empowering. Knowing you are fulfilling your destiny because you want to, rather than because you have to, can make a huge difference. When you are freed from obligation, obstacles in your way become challenges to be overcome, and the journey becomes an adventure rather than the obligatory steps you are being forced to take. Your destiny may be waiting for you, but whether or not you meet your destiny is up to you. Your fate is in your hands.

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

I remember once hearing someone in The Program say, “Life is a series of agreeing or disagreeing with the universe.” There is much truth in that statement, for I’m only a small cog in the machinery of the universe. When I try to run things my way, I’ll experience only frustration and a sense of failure. If, instead, I learn to let go, success will assuredly be mine. Then I’ll have time to count my blessings, work on my shortcomings, and live fully and richly in The Now. Do I believe that what I am meant to know will come to my knowledge if I practice the Eleventh Step — praying only for the knowledge of God’s will for me and the power to carry that out?

Today I Pray

May I take my direction from the Eleventh Step — and not fall into my usual habit of making itemized list for god of all my pleas and entreaties and complaints. May I no longer second-guess God with my specific solutions, but pray only that His will be done. May I count my blessings instead of my beseeching.

Today I Will Remember

Stop list-making for God.

************************************

One More Day

Bitterness and anger seem to be very closely related and are interchangeable words for the same emotion.
– Robert Lovering

Bitterness and anger don’t arrive out of the blue when there is a health change. Chronic illness doesn’t cause these reactions, but it may bring these and other feelings to light.

If negative emotions and attitudes cause us pain or embarrassment, if we are unhappy with ourselves, it may be time to take a personal inventory. How do we act toward other people? What do we expect? Do we create our own problems?

We can change negative into positives, but it requires time and great emotional effort. Our attitudes do improve when we want to change, when we’re willing to grow, and when we’re patient with ourselves.

I can begin today to change my negative emotions by admitting them and asking for the help I need.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

BALANCE SHEET
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if
you do not care who gets the credit.”
Harry S. Truman

Before I came to OA, I kept an emotional account of all my positive actions. I didn't really do that many good things, but the few I did were meant to show how great and kind I was. I even “wrote down” smiles, talking politely, giving a hand in the house, or filling in at work. I expected a great reward one day for all of my good actions ~ especially considering all of the things I put up with. I wanted people to speak well of me. I wanted people to grieve in great sorrow at my funeral for losing the fantastic person I was. Because I felt I never got back half of what I had put into this balance sheet, my resentments started to block me from acting nicely. Why help out, when nobody ever does anything for me? I didn't have an honest focus on reality. I felt worn out, bitter, used and angry. Why was I never paid what I deserved?

I learned in OA that I have a terminal disease which will kill me sooner or later -- if I do not change my thinking and acting. I am powerless over this disease. The only thing I can do is to admit I’m powerless and surrender. As I see it, this disease is the primary reason I have gotten into trouble all my life. I am self-centered, bitter, immature and insecure. Before I entered these rooms, I didn't know how to have a real friend, or brush my teeth on a daily basis. In this program, I learned that I am worthy, loveable, and an ordinary woman -- with my positive and negative sides -- just like everyone else. When I am accountable today to God as I understand him, I do not need an emotional balance sheet. I do not need to grow bitter or hate other people.

One day at a time...
Because I have so generously been given a new life in this program, I choose to give service to my homegroup and to give time and patience to my sponsees. I choose to give of myself, for that does not have a price, in money or in diplomas. I no longer need the credit for what I give.
~ Trine

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Some of us have been violently anti-religious. To others, the word 'God' brought up a particular idea of Him with which someone had tried to impress them during childhood. Perhaps we rejected this particular conception because it seemed inadequate. With this rejection we imagined we had abandoned the God idea entirely. We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly. We look upon this world of warring individuals, warring theological systems, and inexplicable calamity, with deep skepticism. We looked askance at many individuals who claimed to be godly. How could a Supreme Being have anything to do with it all? And who could comprehend a Supreme Being anyhow? Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, 'Who, then, made all this?' There was a feeling of awe and wonder, but it was fleeting and soon lost. - Pgs. - 45-46 - We Agnostics

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Our freedom lies in recognizing the threefold illusion of this disease--mind (I can handle it), desire (it feels good), and flesh (I need it). These are all illusions which we soon will be liberated from.

May I surrender my illusions about the 'goodness' of mind affecting chemicals for myself and any addict / alcoholic.

Forgiveness

Today, I am willing to take a leap of faith into a process of forgiveness. My willingness to consider forgiveness as an option says that I want more out of life and relationships, that I am engaged and alive. I am willing to feel, to love and be loved. This implies that I value myself more than I value winning, prevailing or revenge. Forgiveness is the ultimate statement of self-love. If I love myself I don't want to do things to hurt myself. Some things aren't within my control but forgiveness is. I can't always make sure I don't get hurt but I can have much to say about how I react to getting hurt.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Life is too short to spend it miserable. An excellent way to abate misery is to look at what you are blessed with. Unclench your angry fist, hold it up, and use your fingers to name five things you are grateful for.

(P.S. we mean now!)

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

People in our fellowships who think they are too big to do little things are perhaps too little to be asked to do big things.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I am learning to trust that no matter what is going on in my life, I am in the process of growth.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I didn't know how you could see that I was a newcomer. The fact that I'd been wearing the same dress for a week might have been a little tip-off. And that I came in festooned with jewelry, and had gobs and gobs of make-up on - which I didn't take off at night - I was like Elizabeth the First, I just put more and more on every day. - Lorna K.

[bluidkiti]

October 10

Daily Reflections

FIXING ME, NOT YOU

If somebody hurts us and we are sore, we are in the wrong also.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 90

What a freedom I felt when this passage was pointed out to me!
Suddenly I saw that I could do something about my anger, I could
fix me, instead of trying to fix them. I believe that there are
no exceptions to the axiom. When I am angry, my anger is always
self-centered. I must keep reminding myself that I am human, that
I am doing the best I can, even when that best is sometimes poor.
So I ask God to remove my anger and truly set me free.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

When new members come into my A.A. group, do I make a special
effort to make them feel at home? Do I put myself out to listen
to them, even if their ideas of A.A. are vague? Do I make it a
habit to talk to all new members myself, or do I often leave
that to someone else? I may not be able to help them, but, then,
again it may be something that I might say that would put them
on the right track. When I see any members sitting alone, do I
put myself out to be nice to them, or do I stay among my own
special group of friends and leave them out in the cold? Are all
new A.A.s my responsibility?

Meditation For The Day

You are God's servant. Serve Him cheerfully and readily.
Nobody likes a servant who avoids extra work, who complains
about being called from one task to do any less enjoyable. A
master would feel that he was being ill served by such a servant.
But is that not how you so often serve God? View your day's work
in this light. Try to do your day's work in this light. Try to do
your day's work the way you believe God wants you to do it, never
shirking any responsibility and often going out of your way to be
of service.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be a good servant.
I pray that I may be willing to go out of my way to be of service.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

Ourselves as Individuals, p.281

There is only one sure test of all spiritual experiences: "By their
fruits, ye shall know them."

This is why I think we should question no one's
transformation--whether it be sudden or gradual. Nor should we
demand anyone's special type for ourselves, because experience
suggests that we are apt to receive whatever may be the most useful
for our own needs.

**********************************

Human beings are never quite alike, so each of us, when making
an inventory, will need to determine what his individual character
defects are. Having found the shoes that fit, he ought to step into
them and walk with new confidence that he is at last on the right
track.

1. Grapevine, July 1963
2. Twelve and Twelve, p.48

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Putting our trust in people.
Trust
How much should we trust other people? This is an important question, because many of us have erred in both directions: we've trusted people too much or not enough.
We can find our answer in the spiritual side of the program. We do have a Higher Power in whom we can have absolute trust. We can have little doubt that the spiritual presence behind everything is infallible and supreme.
As human beings, we know that we can only be trusted in certain ways. We can work to develop our trustworthiness, but it is never high enough, even with the strongest souls. All of us have weaknesses that can keep us from being what we know to be our best.
In our 12 Step living, we should work to develop trust in both ourselves and others, but no be hurt or disappointed when things go wrong. Above all, our real trust should be in our Higher Power.
I'll work today to be trusting and trustworthy, but I'll not expect too much of anybody, including myself.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

The foolish and the dead never change their opinions.---James Russell Lowell
We need to stay fresh in our program. We need to be open to new ideas. We need change. The ways we work the Steps should change for us as the years go by. And as we grow, more of the fog of our denial clears away. Then we see the world and our program in different ways.
We need to allow this to happen. At times, it’s scary to give up old ways and old opinions, but this is what allows new growth. Every day, we wake up to a new world. Being alive means change. Opinions and ideas are like a strong tree: the base is strong, but leaves change with the seasons.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me stay fresh and alive. Help me stay open to new ideas and attitudes.
Help me to not become rigid.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll ask two friends to tell me how I may be rigid. I will listen to what they say.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday
Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to the psyche that nearly any battle can cause. Nonresistance is the safer way to chart our daily course.
Bowing with the wind, flowing with the tide, eases the steps we need to take, the steps that will carry us to our personal fulfillment. Part of the process of our growth is learning to slide past the negative situations that confront us, coming to understand that we are in this life to fulfill a unique purpose. The many barriers that get in our way can strengthen our reliance on God if we'll let them. People or situations need never thwart us. We will profit from taking all experiences in our stride. The course we travel is the one we chart. The progress we make toward our life goals is proportionate to the smoothness of our steps.
I will flow with the tide. It will assuredly move me closer to my destination.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

You and your husband will find that you can dispose of serious problems easier than you can the trivial ones. Next time you and he have a heated discussion, no matter what the subject, it should be the privilege of either to smile and say, “This is getting serious. I’m sorry I got disturbed. Let’s talk about it later.” If your husband is trying to live on a spiritual basis, he will also be doing everything in his power to avoid disagreement or contention.

p. 118

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

I stayed in the abusive marriage for nearly seven years and continued to focus on his problems. Toward the end of the marriage, in my misguided attempts to set a good example for him (plus he was drinking too much of my vodka), I mandated no booze in the house. Still, why should I be denied a cocktail after returning home from a stressful day at the office just because he had a problem? So, I began hiding my vodka in the bedroom--and still did not see anything wrong with this behavior. He was my problem.

p. 331

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

In all these situations we need self-restraint, honest analysis of what is involved, a willingness to admit when the fault is ours, and an equal willingness to forgive when the fault is elsewhere. We need not be discouraged when we fall into the error of our old ways, for these disciplines are not easy. We shall look for progress, not for perfection.

p. 91

************************************************** *********

Do not be wise in words - be wise in deeds.
--Jewish Proverb

Thought is the blossom; language the bud; action the fruit behind it.
--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and
imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and
growing."
--Jim Rohn

"If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide
upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children one of
the greatest of all blessings."
--Brian Tracy

"Wanting what I don't have keeps me from having what I do have."

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

TOLERANCE

"Art, if it is to be reckoned with
as one of the great values of life,
must teach men . . . tolerance."
-- Somerset Maugham

There is something about art that is accepting, tolerant and reconcilable with
"difference". I have observed that artists --- those who paint, write, dance, sculpture,
design --- are also people who are accepting and tolerant because they need the
"different" in order to create and progress. Things cannot stay the same and art is the
recorder of man's journey towards the truth; but mankind needs friction, argument,
confrontation, rejection --- yes, "difference" in order to grow and develop.

People say that artists are crazy, and I suppose this is true. But we need crazy people to
take the world where it needs to go. In the crazy, the seed of genius is often buried.

Lord, before I reject the artist or the "crazy", let me seriously consider the message.

************************************************** *********

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures forever.
Psalm 136 : 1

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is
freedom."
2 Corinthians 3:17

" I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."
Phillipians 4:13

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Most often a gentle approach is the best resolution to a conflict. Lord, I have been given today to improve myself and make life better for others. Help me walk in the way that You lead me.

Live your life as though today was your last and learn as though you'll live forever. Lord, You ask so little of the talents You have given to me. May I not neglect them.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Consequences

"Before we got clean, most of our actions were guided by impulse. Today, we are not locked into this type of thinking."

Basic Text p. 87

Ever been tempted to do something even when you knew the results would be disastrous? Ever thought about how much it was going to hurt to do what you were tempted to do, then proceed to do it anyway?

It is said that there are consequences to every action. Before we got clean, many of us simply didn't believe this. But now we know exactly what it means. When we act, we know there will be consequences to pay. No longer can we decide to do something in ignorance when we know full well that we won't like the price we'll have to pay.

There's a prize and a price. It's okay to act despite the consequences if we're willing to pay the price, but there's always one to pay.

Just for today: I will think about the consequences of my actions before I take them.

pg. 296

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
Look, the wind vane fluttering in the autumn breeze
Takes hold of certain things that cannot be held. --Feng Chih
When we think we are losing our grip, we have good reason to look up. Consider the moon suspended in the sky, how it continues to come and go, follows its natural law, and never really loses face. Consider the sun, the stars, the seasons, how they refuse to abandon us, to let go of their hold on our lives. And come closer to home. We can marvel at the magic of small efficient things--the toaster and stove, the light in the room, the words in a good book that are permanent, faithful, and clear. We can consider how music, without saying a word, still speaks to us, and how a few friends, maybe miles away, continue to hang on to the strength of our small and faithful words.
We can keep in mind that we are part of a complex and loving system, and our grip can never be lost.
How do I see my unity with my surroundings today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
The last of the human freedoms is to choose one's attitudes. --Victor Frankl
When we stand and look at a mountain, it looks awesome, majestic, and perhaps intimidating. To climb the mountain we will need to select a route. Which approach will give us success? Which will provide a beautiful view? Which is safest? What are the rewards and trade offs among the paths available?
In our lives, we usually cannot choose the mountains that face us, but we can choose the best paths to approach them. One path may be a very negative attitude. It may feel safe like a narrow, protected passageway. It is predictable, but it keeps us cut off from others. Another path may be filled with too many self-indulgent pleasures and never progress in any direction. Another path may be hard and include some risks, but it allows us to be in contact with others and to appreciate the beauty along the way. When we make positive choices about our attitudes, although the mountain is challenging, we are liberated to become the kind of men we're meant to be.
Today, I will choose friendly attitudes toward myself that will help me on my journey.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Sometimes it's worse to win a fight than to lose. --Billie Holiday
Our struggles with other people always take their toll on us. They often push us to behavior we're not proud of. They may result in irreparable rifts. They frequently trigger an emotional relapse. No battle is worth the damage to the psyche that nearly any battle can cause. Nonresistance is the safer way to chart our daily course.
Bowing with the wind, flowing with the tide, eases the steps we need to take, the steps that will carry us to our personal fulfillment. Part of the process of our growth is learning to slide past the negative situations that confront us, coming to understand that we are in this life to fulfill a unique purpose. The many barriers that get in our way can strengthen our reliance on God if we'll let them. People or situations need never thwart us. We will profit from taking all experiences in our stride. The course we travel is the one we chart. The progress we make toward our life goals is proportionate to the smoothness of our steps.
I will flow with the tide. It will assuredly move me closer to my destination.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Payoffs from Destructive Relationships
Sometimes it helps to understand that we may be receiving a payoff from relationships that cause us distress.
The relationship may be feeding into our helplessness or our martyr role.
Maybe the relationships feeds our need to be needed, enhancing our self-esteem by allowing us to feel in control or morally superior to the other person.
Some of us feel alleviated from financial or other kinds of responsibility by staying in a particular relationship.
"My father sexually abused me when I was a child," said one woman. "I went on to spend the next twenty years blackmailing him emotionally and financially on this. I could get money from him whenever I wanted, and I never had to take financial responsibility for myself."
Realizing that we may have gotten a codependent payoff from a relationship is not a cause for shame. It means we are searching out the blocks in ourselves that may be stopping our growth.
We can take responsibility for the part we may have played in keeping ourselves victimized. When we are willing to look honestly and fearlessly at the payoff and let it go, we will find the healing we've been seeking. We'll also be ready to receive the positive, healthy payoffs available in relationships, the payoffs we really want and need.
Today, I will be open to looking at the payoffs I may have received from staying in unhealthy relationships, or from keeping destructive systems operating. I will become ready to let go of my need to stay in unhealthy systems; I am ready to face myself.


Today I will do something very special just for me. I will treat myself to something I want to have or do and feel good about myself while I do it. My life is very important to me and I have the right to be happy. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 10
We Are Transmitters and Receivers

We are a finely tuned instrument– body, mind, and soul. We receive messages, we receive guidance. And we transmit energy– the energy of love.

When we become off center, we become like two-way radios whose tuners aren’t on the right frequency. We aren’t receiving or transmitting clearly. We hear and feel the static. Often, instinctively, that’s when we start broadcasting more loudly, sometimes screaming to be heard. Now is not the time to crank up the volume.

Take the time you need to get centered, to get peaceful. What do you need to do? What do you need to feel? What healing resources do you need to utilize? What’s your voice, your quiet, trustworthy inner voice, the one that speaks through your heart, urging you to do?

Taking time to get centered and peaceful isn’t selfish. It’s not a waste of time. When we’re receiving clearly, we transmit clearly.

And the frequency we use is love.

*****

more language of letting go
See how it feels to do it right

In skydiving, there's an activity called dirt diving. At the drop zone, you'll see people lying on their bellies on contraptions that look like skateboards. They make all the moves on the ground as if they were free-falling through the air. They're training their bodies and themselves to do it right. They're experiencing how it feels to do it right.

Do you have something you're trying to learn how to do? Are you struggling to let go of someone? Are you trying to do something for the first time-- conquer your fear of flying or write a book? Do you have a meeting scheduled that's causing you some strain? Maybe you need to approach your boss and ask for a raise.

See yourself doing it. Quiet yourself first by deliberately relaxing each part of your body and mind. Then imagine yourself doing it, whatever it is. See how it feels to do it right. Go into each detail of how you would feel if you were doing it right.

If you encounter a block that keeps you from moving forward smoothly in your visualization time, ask your Higher Power or yourself how to remedy or release that block. Do you have a fear that's blocking you? Is it new or an old fear? Maybe it's concern over what somebody told you long ago about your inadequacy. Release that energy, then start all over again, seeing what it feels like to do it right. Keep at your visualization until you can go through the entire process smoothly, from beginning to end.

If you try but can't imagine yourself doing something, much less see how it feels to do it right, maybe you're trying to do something that's not right for you. Ask your Higher Power for guidance about that,too.

Visualization can give us time to safely dirt-dive and work through awkwardness, fears, and potential blocks and problems. Sometimes spending quiet time trying to visualize how it feels to do it right can give us a message that either this is or isn't the right time or thing for us.

God, help me use my mental powers to create the most positive scenes I can imagine taking place in my life.

*****

Best Friends
A Warm Refuge by Madisyn Taylor

Our best friends are a warm refuge in which we feel free to be fully ourselves.

By the time we reach adulthood, many of us have had the good fortune to have at least one best friend. If we have moved around or changed our life situation repeatedly, we may be lucky enough to have had several. The best friend relationship is often our earliest intimate peer relationship, and it can be a source of great warmth and connection throughout our lives. The details of best friendship change as we grow up and grow older, but the heart of it remains the same. Our best friends are a warm refuge in which we feel free to be fully ourselves, to share our deepest secrets, to rest when we are tired, to celebrate when we are happy—a place in which we feel utterly welcome to give and receive that most precious of all gifts, love.

Most intimate relationships hit bumps from time to time, and one of the hallmarks of an enduring best friendship is its ability to ride out the turbulence and remain intact even as it faces changes. Our best friends are those who manage to love us through all of our transitions, as we do the same for them. We find ways to embrace and appreciate the differences that set us apart and offer love and support no matter what. We allow each other to be exactly as we are at a given moment, even as we allow each other to change over time. In this way, best friends sometimes feel like family. We know we will stick together regardless of where our individual paths lead.

We may be on the phone with our best friends every day, or we may not have spoken for a year, yet we know that our bond will be strong and immediate when we do connect. This bond ties us together even when we are apart and draws us blissfully back into the warm refuge of each other’s company when our paths bring us together again.

************************************

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When we allow our Higher Power to take charge, without reservations on our part, we stop being “anxious.” When we’re not anxious about some person or situation, that doesn’t mean we’re disinterested or have stopped caring. Just the opposite is true. We can be interested and caring without being anxious or fearful. The poised, calm and faith-filled person brings something positive to every situation. He or she is able to do the things that are necessary and helpful. Do I realize how much better prepared I am to do wise and loving things if I banish anxious thoughts and know that God is in charge?

Today I Pray

I pray that I may be rid of the anxiety which I have equated in my mind with really caring about people. May I know that anxiety is not an item of outerwear that can be doffed like a cap. May I know that I must have serenity within myself and confidence that God can do a better job that I can — and then my anxiety will lessen.

Today I Will Remember

Anxiety never solved anything.

************************************

One More Day

But if a man happens to find himself … he has a mansion which he can inhabit with dignity all the days of his life.
– James Michener

If only, we think, I could regain that joy, that feeling of being so pleased with myself that I had as a child. if we think about it, we might decide that the child didn’t disappear; it may still be waiting to be freed once again.

We can pause and look at what we have become as adults. If we see self-worth by pleasing or impressing others, we may have stopped listening to that childlike voice that tells us to trust ourselves. Dignity, self-worth, contentment — these things grow out of a sense of self, not from the opinions of others.

The choices I make today will be based on my own values.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

TOLERANCE
“I have learned silence from the talkative,
toleration from the intolerant, and kindness
from the unkind; yet, strange, I am ungrateful
to those teachers.”
Khalil Gibran

Two of my biggest character defects are arrogance and fear. I used to have a hard time tolerating people who are not like me. When I was driven by fear, anger, and shame, I believed they threatened my social position. A normal day for me was filled with frustration and anger at people I didn’t like. Gossip was my language.

After I decided that I was truly powerless over my addiction and that my life had become really unmanageable, I surrendered. I started writing the suggested Step work and had a great awakening. In the 4th Step inventory, I came to the conclusion that I did not like “different people” because I was afraid to be like them. And what were they like? Just like me. I didn't like myself. That was one of the most revealing acknowledgements that were given to me. I have no reason to pick a fight anymore, nor discuss or judge any person. When I meet people I do not like, I know why.

One day at a time...
My greatest teachers are those who have shown me what I do not like or accept about myself. I understand that I would never have appreciated these lessons as precious gifts without the understanding, growth and tolerance within the 12 Step fellowship. Today I make a living amend by never judging or disliking any person. Every human being is a creature of God as I understand him, and who am I to judge?
~ Trine

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other. - Pg. 118 - To Wives

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We must always fan the flame of inspiration and enthusiasm or our slight hold on sobriety will flicker and fade. We fan the flame by going to meetings, listening to the professionals we hire, choose and use a sponsor, and we must help others.

God, as I understand You, please show me one person I can give an encouraging word to in this hour.

My Interaction with My World

I elicit a particular response from the world about how it sees me based on what I'm putting out there. I get a response, then I take in that information, process it well or badly, consciously or unconsciously, and it becomes a part of me. A part of my wiring psychologically, emotionally and spiritually. Who I am is a product of who I am. Those of us who had great starts in life are lucky, but all of us can do a lot about who we are, and forgiveness is one of those tools that has the power to transform our lives. There's much more to it than meets the eye, more work and more benefit.

- Tian Dayton PhD

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Recovery is the easier, softer way.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I will do something very special just for me. I will treat myself to something I want to have or do and feel good about myself while I do it. My life is very important to me and I have the right to be happy.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

Us looking for God is like a fish looking for water. David C.

[bluidkiti]

October 11

Daily Reflections

SELF--RESTRAINT

Our first objective will be the development of self-restraint.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 91

My drive to work provides me with an opportunity for self-examination.
One day while making this trip, I began to review my progress in
sobriety, and was not happy with what I saw. I hoped that, as the
work day progressed, I would forget these troublesome thoughts,
but as one disappointment after another kept coming, my discontent
only increased, and the pressures within me kept mounting. I
retreated to an isolated table in the lounge, and asked myself
how I could make the most of the rest of the day. In the past,
when things went wrong, I instinctively wanted to fight back.
But during the short time I had been trying to live the A.A.
program I had learned to step back and take a look at myself.
I recognized that, although I was not the person I wanted to be,
I had learned to not react in my old ways. Those old patterns of
behavior only brought sorrow and hurt, to me and to others. I
returned to my work station, determined to make the day a
productive one, thanking God for the chance to make progress
that day.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

How good a sponsor am I? When I bring new members to a meeting,
do I feel that my responsibility has ended? Or do I make it my
job to stay with them until they have either become good members
of A.A. or have found another sponsor? If they don't show up for
a meeting, do I say to myself: "Well they've had it put up to
them, so if they don't want it, there's nothing more I can do? "
Or do I look them up and find out whether there is a reason for
their absences or that they don't want A.A.? Do I go out of my
way to find out if there is anything more I can do to help? Am I a good sponsor?

Meditation For The Day

"First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer
your gift to God." First I must get right with other people and
then I can get right with God. If I hold a resentment against
someone, which I find it very difficult to overcome, I should
try to put something else constructive into my mind. I should
pray for the one against whom I hold the resentment. I should
put that person in God's hands and let God show him or her the
way to live. "If a man say: 'I love God' and hateth his brother,
he is a liar, for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath
seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?"

Prayer For The Day
I pray that I may see something good in every person, even one I
dislike, and that I may let God develop the good in that person.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

INSTINCTS RUN WILD, p. 282

Every time a person imposes his instincts unreasonably upon others,
unhappiness follows. If the pursuit of wealth tramples upon people who
happen to be in the way, then anger, jealousy, and revenge are likely
to be aroused. If sex runs riot, there is similar uproar.

Demands made upon other people for too much attention, protection,
and love can invite only domination or revulsion in the protectors
themselves-two emotions quite as unhealthy as the demands
which evoked them. When an individual's desire for prestige
becomes uncontrollable, whether in the sewing circle or at the
international conference table, other people suffer and often
revolt. This collision of instincts can produce anything from a cold snub
to a blazing revolution.

TWELVE AND TWELVE, p. 44

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

Keeping anger in safe limits
Dealing with anger
"The most heated bit of letter-writing can be a wonderful safety valve,"
AA co-founder, Bill W. said, "providing the wastebasket is somewhere nearby."
This is a delightful bit of advice about the right way to handle anger.
Writing an angry letter is at least a way of bringing our feelings out so
that we can see them. This is far healthier than the peculiar method of
"Stuffing" one's feelings and pretending that there was no hurt or offense.
But an angry letter, once mailed, can be more destructive than a bullet.
We may live to regret ever having mailed it. It could have unintended
consequences of the worst kind.
That's why the wastebasket becomes the second hand way to deal with
our anger. We throw the letter away and let time and wisdom heal the
matter. What usually happen under the guidance of our Higher Power
is that we find a much more satisfactory way of settling whatever has happened.
If I become angry today, I'll admit it to myself. Perhaps I'll even put my
feelings on paper. But I'll have the good sense not to go further with such outbursts.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

May you live all the days of your life. ---Jonathan Swift
The truth is, life hard. Accepting this fact will make it easier. Remember
how well it worked in Step One? Once we admitted and that we were
powerless over alcohol and other drugs, we were given the power to recover.
It works the same with life’s problems.
We can spend a lot of energy trying to avoid life’s hardships. But our program
teaches us to use the same energy to solve our problems. Problems are chances
to better ourselves and become more spiritual. We have a choice: we can either
use our energy to avoid problems, or we can face them. When we stop wasting
energy, we start to feel more sure of ourselves.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, life is to be lived, both the easy and the hard
parts. Help me face and learn from it all.
Action for the Day: I’ll work at not complaining about how hard life is. I’ll take
the same energy and us it to solve problems I may face.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Be still and listen to the stillness within. --Darlene Larson Jenks
No answer eludes us if we turn to the source of all answers--the stillness within.
Prayer accompanied by meditation will always provide the answers we need for
the situations facing us. The answers we want are not guaranteed, however. We
must trust that we will be directed to take the right steps. Our well being is
assured if we let go of the control and turn our wills over to the care of God,
our messenger within.
How comforting to know that all answers are as close as our quiet moments. God
never chooses to keep them from us. We simply fail to quiet our thoughts long
enough to heed them. Our minds race, obsessively, all too often. We jump from
one scenario to another, one fear to another, and one emotion to another. And
each time our thoughts capture a new focus; we push the answer we seek further
into the background.
The process is simple, if I want to follow it. The answers await me if I truly want
them. I need only sit quietly and ask God to offer the guidance I need. And then
I will sit quietly some more.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

Your husband knows he owes you more than sobriety. He wants to make good. Yet you must not expect too much. His ways of thinking and doing are the habits of years. Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords. Show him these things in yourself and they will be reflected back to you from him. Live and let live is the rule. If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other.

p. 118

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

I accepted a transfer with a promotion (yes, my professional life was still climbing) shortly after the divorce. Now I was sure my problems were over, except that I brought me with me. Once alone in a new place, my drinking really took off. I did not have to be a good example anymore. For the first time I realized that perhaps my drinking was getting a bit out of hand, but I knew you'd drink too if you had my stress: Recent divorce, new home, new job, didn't know anyone--and an unacknowledged, progressive disease that was destroying me.

pp. 331-332

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Our first objective will be the development of self restraint. This carries a top priority rating. When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant evaporates on the spot. One unkind tirade or one willful snap judgment can ruin our relation with another person for a whole day, or maybe a whole year. Nothing pays off like restraint of tongue and pen. We must avoid quick-tempered criticism and furious, power-driven argument. The same goes for sulking or silent scorn. These are emotional booby traps baited with pride and vengefulness. Our first job is to sidestep the traps. When we are tempted by the bait, we should train ourselves to step back and think. For we can neither think nor act to good purpose until the habit of self-restraint has become automatic.

p. 91

************************************************** *********

A clear conscience is a good pillow.
--American Proverb

"It's not whether you get knocked down; it's whether you get back up." --Vince Lombardi

There are risks and costs to a program of action, but they are far less than the long-range
risks and costs of comfortable inaction.
--John F. Kennedy

The first service one owes to others in the fellowship consists in listening to them. Just as
love of God begins in listening to His Word, so the beginning of love for the brethren is
learning to listen to them. It is God's love for us that He not only gives us His Word but
lends us His ear. So it is His work that we do for our brother when we learn to
listen to him.
--Dietrich Bonhoeffer (1906-1945), Life Together

"Often we seek to grow or change ourselves by adjusting the external aspects of our lives. ...
We all too often forget that permanent or real change only comes when the center of our
being, our inner drives and motivations, undergoes transformation."
--Errol Strider

***********************************************

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

ART

"Art is not a thing; it is a way."
-- Elbert Hubbard

In the spiritual twelve-step program it talks about "...a God as you understand Him."
This is a liberating concept that teaches us to risk and think "big". God is not only found
in churches, temples and rituals --- God can be found in the myriad of art forms. God is
always to be found in the creative. Because art is always concerned with life and truth,
God is always involved.

Today I am able to look for God in His or Her World.

In my recovery from the disease of addiction I need to discover the wonder and splendor
of life that got damaged in my drinking days. Art can help me to feel again. It helps me to
think and be concerned again. Art teaches me to be involved in life.

Thank You for the artist --- another aspect of priesthood.

************************************************** *********

I will praise you O lord with all my heart.
Psalm 138 : 1

"Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their
trust in Him."
Proverbs 30:5

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Weeds grow easily, but flowers need care and nurturing to bloom. Lord, may I turn away
from evil and tenderly encourage the goodness that comes my way so that I, too, may blossom.

Never doubt the power, the wisdom and the love that God has for you. Lord, thank You for
Your constant care and the certainty of Your love for me.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Eyeglasses And Attitudes

"Our best thinking got us into trouble.... Recovery is an active change in our ideas and attitudes."

Basic Text p.53

In active addiction, the world probably looked like a horrible place. Using helped us tolerate the world we saw. Today, however, we understand that the world's condition wasn't really the problem. It was our ideas and attitudes about the world that made it impossible for us to find a comfortable place in it.

Our attitudes and our ideas are the eyeglasses through which we see our lives. If our "glasses" are smudged or dirty, our lives look dim. If our attitudes aren't well focused, the whole world appears distorted. To see the world clearly, we need to keep our attitudes and ideas clean, free of things like resentment, denial, self-pity, and closed-mindedness. To insure our vision of life is in focus, we have to bring our ideas in line with reality.

In addiction, our best thinking kept us from clearly seeing either the world or our part in it. Recovery serves to correct the prescriptions in our attitudinal eyewear. By stripping away our denial and replacing it with faith, self-honesty, humility, and responsibility, the steps help us see our lives in a whole new way. Then the steps help us keep our spiritual lenses clean, encouraging us to regularly examine our ideas our attitudes, and our actions.

Today, seen through the clean lenses of faith and recovery the world looks like a warm, inviting place to live.

Just for today: I will view the world and my life through the clean spiritual lenses of my program.

pg. 297

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
A musician must make music; an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be. --Abraham Maslow
The same is true of a seamstress, carpenter, homemaker, lawyer, or mechanic. The question is, Who and what am I? What must I do to be at peace with myself? What can I be, for that is what I must be?
A lucky few of us find the answers to these questions fairly early in life, and we work to develop into the people we can be and must be. We do that by looking at our deepest desires, and ask what would bring fulfillment for us. We ask what we would enjoy doing most, what we believe we have the ability to be really good at. What is it that sometimes burns within us to be expressed or done? The answers to what we can be, what we must be, come from within, through asking ourselves these questions.
What kind of a person am I capable of being?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
What is most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine. --Susan Sontag
In recovery, we grow in many ways and become more comfortable with the many subtle colors in our personalities. We have a greater range of all human qualities available to us now. We are more light and playful at times and more serious at others. We can cuddle up like a dependent child, or we can be the one who is responsible under pressure. We can be tough and virile, and we can be soft and gentle. One musical tone playing in harmony with another makes a song more beautiful. Because we have made peace within ourselves, our masculinity is not threatened.
As we discover many new feelings and reactions, it is natural to wonder if they are normal. When we talk with others about the ways we have changed, we learn they have similar feelings. As we become more at peace with ourselves, the various sides of our personalities complement each other, and we appreciate the harmony within us and in our friends.
Today, I am grateful for the richness and variety within myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Be still and listen to the stillness within. --Darlene Larson Jenks
No answer eludes us if we turn to the source of all answers--the stillness within. Prayer accompanied by meditation will always provide the answers we need for the situations facing us. The answers we want are not guaranteed, however. We must trust that we will be directed to take the right steps. Our well being is assured if we let go of the control and turn our wills over to the care of God, our messenger within.
How comforting to know that all answers are as close as our quiet moments. God never chooses to keep them from us. We simply fail to quiet our thoughts long enough to heed them. Our minds race, obsessively, all too often. We jump from one scenario to another, one fear to another, and one emotion to another. And each time our thoughts capture a new focus; we push the answer we seek further into the background.
The process is simple, if I want to follow it. The answers await me if I truly want them. I need only sit quietly and ask God to offer the guidance I need. And then I will sit quietly some more.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Recovery
How easy it is to blame our problems on others. "Look at what he's doing." . . . "Look how long I've waited." . . . "Why doesn't she call?" . . . "If only he'd change then I'd be happy." . . .
Often, our accusations are justified. We probably are feeling hurt and frustrated. In those moments, we may begin to believe that the solution to our pain and frustration is getting the other person to do what we want, or having the outcome we desire. But these self-defeating illusions put the power and control of our life in other people's hands. We call this codependency.
The solution to our pain and frustration, however valid is to acknowledge our own feelings. We feel the anger, the grief; then we let go of the feelings and find peace - within ourselves. We know our happiness isn't controlled by another person, even though we may have convinced ourselves it is. We call this acceptance.
Then we decide that although we'd like our situation to be different, maybe our life is happening this way for a reason. Maybe there is a higher purpose and plan in play, one that's better than we could have orchestrated. We call this faith.
Then we decide what we need to do, what is within our power to do to take care of ourselves. That's called recovery.
It's easy to point our finger at another, but it's more rewarding to gently point it at ourselves.
Today, I will live with my pain and frustration by dealing with my own feelings.


Today I know it's okay to place myself first sometimes. Today I'm doing something very special for myself. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 11
Honor Your Connection to Your Body

Our bodies are matter, the physical form we have assumed. They are infused with our energy, our soul.

My awareness of the body-mind-soul connection came slowly, over many years. I had spent many years denying I had a body, denying its importance. I felt disconnected from it, as though it were something apart from me, a burden I had to carry around and live with. Then I began to see the connection between my emotions and the aches and pains– and sometimes illnesses– my body was experiencing. If I didn’t feel the feeling, listen to myself, my body would pound out the pain until it was heard that way. Energy needs to be discharged somewhere. If it isn’t discharged, the body will absorb and feel it as pain. I began to see the connection between changes in my life and changes in my body, the way the earth marks changing seasons and cycles.

I began to get massages, exercise, and slowly trust the wisdom of my body. I became connected to my body. Yes, I was a soul. Yes, I had a heart. Emotions. Thought. But to live on the physical plane of earth, we need a body. Our body is part of us. It is us. It holds the scars of our life to date, the stories of our life so far, it contains the wisdom and energy of what we need today and tomorrow.

Honor your connection to your body. Honor and value your body’s wisdom. It can tell you many things about your life, your growth, your past, and your path. Learn to listen to your body , and it will speak openly and lovingly to you.

*****

Make use of your imaginative powers

It was a small ad in a catalog for an electric flossing machine. "I don't have the time or energy to floss," the man in the ad declared. "That's why I need this machine to do it for me."

Too busy and too tired?

Some of us complain about all the things we have to do to maintain spiritual health. Prayer. Meditation. Attending support groups. All these things take time and energy, even though we get a good return on the time we invest. Now, we're considering adding another activity to our already full self-care activities list: spending time and energy visualizing to help create positive events in our lives.

When someone first suggested I use visualization as a tool, my reaction was similar to one of the man in the ad. I don't have the time. I'm too busy and tired.

But we're always thinking about something and creating pictures in our minds. Usually what we see are worst case scenarios. So why not take the time, effort, and energy we're already using to see things not working out and instead visualize things working out? If we've got enough time and energy to see the negative what if's, we've got the time and energy to visualize positive events,too.

Visualizing isn't a form of control. Just because we see things working out well doesn't guarantee that they will. But if we can see it, it's more likely to happen than if we can't see it at all.

God, help me use the powers of thought and imagination in the most creative way I can.

*****

Setting a Limit to Sit with Emotions
How Long

When an emotion haunts us, it is often because we are afraid of really feeling it.

Our emotions color our lives with varying palettes. Sometimes we feel a strong emotion in reaction to something that has happened, but emotions also visit us seemingly out of the blue, flooding us unexpectedly with joy or grief or melancholy. Like the weather, they come and go, influencing our mental state with their particular vibration. Sometimes a difficult emotion hangs around longer than we would like, and we begin to wonder when it will release its hold on us. This is often true of grief stemming from loss, for example, or lingering anger over a past event.

Usually, if we allow ourselves to feel our emotions fully when they come up, they recede naturally, giving way to another and another. When an emotion haunts us, it is often because we are afraid of really feeling it. Emotions like despair and rage are powerful, and it is natural to want to hold them at bay. Certainly, we don’t want to let them take us over so that we say or do things we later regret. When we are facing this kind of situation, it can be helpful to ask the spirit, “How long do I need to sit with these emotions, how long do I need to feel these emotions before they can pass?” If you ask sincerely and wait, an answer will come. Setting a time limit on your engagement with that difficult emotion may be just the technique you need to face it fully.

When you have a sense of how much time you need to spend, set a timer. Sit down and make yourself available to the emotion that has been nagging you. All you have to do is feel it. Avoid getting attached to it or rejecting it. Simply let it ebb and flow within you. Emotions are by their nature cyclical, so you can trust that just as one reaches its apex it will pass. Each time you sit with its presence without either repressing or acting out, you will find that that difficult emotion was the catalyst for much needed emotional healing. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

When I say the Serenity Prayer, sometimes over and over, I occasionally lose sight of the prayer’s meaning even as I repeat its words. So I try to think of the meaning of each phrase as I say it, whether aloud or silently. As I concentrate on the meaning, my understanding grows, along with my capability to realize the difference between what I can change, and what I cannot. Do I see that most improvements in my life will come from changing my own attitudes and actions?

Today I Pray

May my Higher Power show me new and deeper meanings in the Serenity Prayer each time I say it. As I apply it to my life’s situations and relationships, may its truth be underlined for me again and again. May I realize that serenity, courage and wisdom are all that I need to cope with living, but that none of these three have value unless they grow out of my trust in a Higher Power.

Today I Will Remember

God’s formula for living; Serenity, courage and wisdom.

************************************

One More Day

Power said to the world, “You are mine,” The world kept it prisoner on her throne. Love said to the world, “I am thine.” The world gave it the freedom of her house.
– Rabindranath Tagore

We all need to test our spiritual muscles. At first those muscles may seem weak. It’s natural after a lengthy bout with illness to wonder why we were chosen for pain, misery, or illness.

After a time, we become ready to learn more about our own spirituality. We open our minds and our hearts. As we explore this wonderful side of ourselves, we discover our worth, our strengths, our wholeness. And we discover that we are not alone, that a Higher Power is sharing His strength and peace with us.

Today, I will learn more about my spirituality than I knew yesterday. I will feel the peace and strength given to me by my Higher Power.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

FAITH
”Faith is not belief. Belief is passive.
Faith is active.”
Edith Hamilton

I always believed that God could relieve my suffering if He chose; however, I was overlooking the distinction of the required “partnership” between my choices and his strength. God is not a magician who, with artful finesse, will relieve me of the bondage of my free-will choices. He requires my attention -- and then my ACTION -- in order to work through and in my life.

One day at a time...
I am willing to test my faith by putting forth the required action(s) that will help me move toward my share of miracles that abound in this Program.
~ January K.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

To Whom It May Concern:
I have specialized in the treatment of alcoholism for many years.
In late 1934 I attended a patient who, though he had been a competent businessman of good earning capacity, was an alcoholic of a type I had come to regard as hopeless.
In the course of his third treatment he aquired certain ideas concerning a possible means of recovery. As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing upon them that they must do likewise with still others. This has become the basis of a rapidly growing fellowship of these men and their families. This man and over one hundred others appear to have recovered. - Pg. xxv - 4th. Edition - The Doctor's Opinion

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

To a practicing addict who lives wholly in the sensations of the body, the recovery state is one of utter boredom. But as we learn to live balanced in body, mind, and soul we will wonder why we ever thought the state of addiction exciting.

May I know that it is not so much boredom as me being boring that's my problem.

Staying with Myself

Today, I see that having my own life begins inside of me. It is not just a function of what I do, but the attitude with which I move through my day. Having my own life is about checking in with myself to see how I'm doing. It's wearing a sweater if I'm cold and taking a break if I'm tired. It's making sure that I'm having enough fun in my life, paying attention to what I enjoy doing, doing more of that and finding ways of reducing what doesn't feel good. Having a life is letting myself have my own unique likes and dislikes, and acting on them in constructive ways. It is not organizing my life so that it is good enough for everyone else, forgetting that it needs to be good enough for me as well. I occupy the center of my own life.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'We can do no great things, only small things with great love.' ~Mother Teresa

God does not want me to do extraordinary things; S/He wants me to do ordinary things extraordinarily well.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Being sober doesn't keep you sober.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

Today I know it's okay to place myself first sometimes. Today I'm doing something very special for myself.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

It was like: 'Hi, we are Alcoholics Anonymous, we're a fellowship of self-admitted alcoholics and pathological liars; we want you to trust us. If you can believe that, you can start getting well. - Doug D.

[bluidkiti]

October 12

Daily Reflections

CURBING RASHNESS

When we speak or act hastily or rashly, the ability to be fair-minded and tolerant
evaporates on the spot.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 91

Being fair-minded and tolerant is a goal toward which I must work
daily. I ask God, as I understand Him, to help me to be loving and tolerant to my loved
ones, and to those with whom I am in close contact. I ask for guidance to curb my speech
when I am agitated, and I take a moment to reflect on the emotional upheaval my words
may cause, not only to someone else, but also to myself. Prayer, meditation and
inventories are the key to sound thinking and positive action for me.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Am I still on a "free ride" in A.A.? Am I all get and no give? Do I go to meetings and
always sit in the back row and let others do all the work? Do I think it's enough just
because I'm sober and can rest on my laurels? If so, I haven't gone very far in the
program, nor am I getting nearly enough of what it has to offer. I will be a weak member
until I get in there and help carry the load. I must eventually get off the bench and get
into the game. I'm not just a spectator; I'm supposed to be one of the team. Do I go in
there and carry the ball?

Meditation For The Day

Try to be thankful for whatever vision you have. Try to perform, in the little things,
faithful service to God and others. Do your small part every day in a spirit of service to
God. Be a doer of God's word, not a hearer only. In your daily life try to keep faith with
God. Every day brings a new opportunity to be of some use. Even when you are tempted
to rest or let things go or to evade the issue, make it a habit to meet the issue squarely as
a challenge and not to hold back.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may perform each task faithfully. I pray that I may meet each issue of life
squarely and not hold back.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

"POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL", p.283

I had gone steadily downhill, and on that day in 1934 I lay upstairs
in the hospital, knowing for the first time that I was utterly
hopeless.

Lois was downstairs, and Dr. Silkworth was trying in his gentle way to
tell her what was wrong with me and that I was hopeless. "But Bill has
a tremendous amount of will power," she said. "He has tried
desperately to get well. We have tried everything. Doctor, why can't
he stop?"

He explained that my drinking, once a habit, had become an obsession,
a true insanity that condemned me to drink against my will.

********************************

"In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet
when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready
to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new
dimension-freedom under God as we understand Him."

1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 52
2. LETTER, 1966

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

A fatal Feature of alcoholism
Admitting defeat
Part of alcoholism's deadliness lies in its peculiar tendency to blind the victim to the hopelessness of the situation. Time and again, AA members meet people who are in the final stages of their disease, yet are still clinging to the fallacy that things are not as bad as they seem. Indeed, many alcoholics who have engineered their own ruin still believe they are either victims of bad luck or of malevolent action by others.
Let's remember, however, that others might not be so fortunate. We must not criticize them for not being able to accept the hopelessness of their condition. We should also look for our own blind spots about others problems in our lives.
I'll remember today that only the 12 Step program arrested my fatal disease and keeps it at bay. I'll feel kndly toward others who are having trouble admitting defeat; maybe this is the day it will happen for them.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

Trust only movement. Life happens at the level of events, not words.---Alfred Adler
Being sober is an event. Being sober also means movement. We go to meetings. We find and meet with a sponsor. We talk with friends. If we don’t act in these ways were not sober.
Our actions also tell us if we’re leading a spiritual life. What do you do when you see someone in need? Spirituality means helping. It’s not just kind words.
In Step Four and Ten, we check out our action, not our words. Our actions will tell us if we’re on the recovery path.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me to not hide in words. I pray for the strength to take the right action. Help me walk a sober path.
Action for the Day: Today as I work Step Ten, I’ll focus only on my actions How have I acted sober today?

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

...there are two entirely opposite attitudes possible in facing the problems of one's life. One, to try and change the external world, the other, to try and change oneself. --Joanna Field
God grant us the courage to change what we can--ourselves. How difficult it is to let go of our struggles to control and change someone else. How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change. All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step toward emotional health. Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions. Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we'll ever need. The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us. The decision each day to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves. Each responsible choice moves us toward our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
I will change only who I can today: myself.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be. It is the most natural thing in the world, once his liquor problem is solved, to feel that he will now measure up to that cherished vision. The chances are he will not for, like yourself, he is just beginning his development. Be patient.

p. 118

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

Finally, I made some friends who drank just as I did. Our drinking was disguised as fishing trips and chili cook-offs, but they were really excuses for weeklong binges. After a day's drinking disguised as softball, I nicked an old woman's fender driving home. Of course, it was not my fault; she pulled out in front of me. That the accident occurred at dusk and I had been drinking since 10:00am had nothing to do with it. My alcoholism had taken me to such depths of denial and heights of arrogance that I waited for the police so they'd know it was her fault too. Well, it didn't take them long to figure it out. Once again, pulled from the car, hands cuffed behind my back, I was taken to jail. But it wasn't my fault. The old broad shouldn't have been allowed on the road, I told myself. She was my problem.

p. 332

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Disagreeable or unexpected problems are not the only ones that call for self-control. We must be quite as careful when we begin to achieve some measure of importance and material success. For no people have ever loved personal triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank of success as of a wine which could never fail to make us feel elated. When temporary good fortune came our way, we indulged ourselves in fantasies of still greater victories over people and circumstances. Thus blinded by prideful self confidence, we were apt to play the big shot. Of course, people turned away from us, bored or hurt.

pp. 91-92

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Be still and listen to the stillness within.
You must look into people, as well as at them.
--Lord Chesterfield

There is one thing worse than waiting on God... it's wishing you had.
--unknown

God is never in a hurry.
--unknown

"Be faithful in small things because it is in them that your strength lies."
--Mother Teresa

"When you see the value of continued growth, the circumstances around you become
stepping stones."
--Clyde M. Narrimore

The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your
knees and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord can stand up to anything.
--unknown

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

DISCOVERY

"I invent nothing. I rediscover."
-- Auguste Rodin

I believe that spirituality is given to every human being and we need only discover it in
our lives to experience its power. The history of my life has been more of a "cycle" than
a straight line leading into the distance. I am constantly returning to past events,
reminiscences and experiences that were part of my yesterdays but converge into my
present. I am rediscovering my yesterdays in my todays; the fruits of my tomorrows are
planted within today.

So it seems that my journey is not simply forward. It also involves a rediscovery of
yesterday in today. My life is a mystery that exists within God.

O Lord, with You eternity is ever present and occasionally I get a glimpse of it.

************************************************** *********

"He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge."
Psalm 91:4

"Behold what manner of love the father hath bestowed upon us that we should be called
the children of God."
1 John 3:1

Make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness,
knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control,
perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness,
brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.
2 Peter 1:5-7

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Think good and wise thoughts over and over again until you make them your own. Lord, You have given me a strong foundation and the strength to stand firm for what I believe.

Never make the mistake of taking more credit than is due or less credit than you are worth. Lord, You have created me in Your image. Therefore, I am goodness and with You can accomplish great things.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Being Right

"When we admit that our lives have become unmanageable, we don't have to argue our point of view... We no longer have to be right all the time."

Basic Text p. 56

Nothing isolates us more quickly from the warmth and camaraderie of our fellow NA members than having to be "right." Insecure, we pretend to be some kind of authority figure. Suffering from low self-esteem, we try to build ourselves up by putting others down. At best, such tactics push others away from us; at worst, they draw attack. The more we try to impress others with how "right" we are, the more wrong we become.

We don't have to be "right" to be secure; we don't have to pretend to have all the answers for others to love or respect us. In fact, just the opposite is true. None of us have all the answers. We depend upon one another to help bridge the gaps in our understanding of things, and we depend upon a Power greater than our own to make up for our personal powerlessness. We live easily with others when we offer what we know, admit what we don't, and seek to learn from our peers. We live securely in ourselves when we cease relying on our own power and start relying on the God we've come to understand in recovery.

We don't have to be "right" all the time, just recovering.

Just for today: God, I admit my powerlessness and the unmanageability of my life. Help me live with others as an equal, dependent upon you for direction and strength.

pg. 298

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it. . . . --Mark Twain
There was once a young girl who thought that if only she tried a little harder, she could please her parents; if only she were prettier, her friends would like her better. She tried constantly to gain their approval. Sometimes they said they liked her, and sometimes they didn't.
Then one night a fairy came to her in a dream and told her, "You are fine just the way you are. You don't have to change. I want you to start noticing your own beauty and loving yourself exactly the way you are."
Doing what the fairy suggested--giving love and approval to herself--wasn't easy, but she found that when she did it she felt a peace that was not dependent on what others thought. She thanked her fairy for caring enough to come and give her such wise advice.
What are some things I like about myself?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I resolve to meet evil courageously, but when even a small temptation cometh, I am in sore straits. That which seemeth trifling sometimes giveth rise to a grievous temptation. --Thomas a' Kempis
Even in recovery, we know we are vulnerable men, always subject to a return to old patterns. Sometimes we can understand the triggering event; other times there is no apparent reason for temptation to reappear. Perhaps it comes when we least expect it, when our guard is lowest. We may be tempted simply because we are addicts or codependents. Our powerlessness reminds us of our need for faithfulness to the program.
When we think we have moved beyond the draw of old behaviors, we veer away from our path of recovery. In saying we have grown out of our powerlessness, or that our resolve can now protect us, we are heading back into old troubles. Admitting the truth is unsettling. It also makes us more honest, more accessible, more spiritual, and more ready to deal with threats to our recovery.
I live with my powerlessness every day. Help me admit it to myself.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
...there are two entirely opposite attitudes possible in facing the problems of one's life. One, to try and change the external world, the other, to try and change oneself. --Joanna Field
God grant us the courage to change what we can--ourselves. How difficult it is to let go of our struggles to control and change someone else. How frequently we assume that everything would be fine if only someone else would change. All that needs to change is an attitude, our own.
Taking responsibility for improving one's own life is an important step toward emotional health. Blaming another for our circumstances keeps us stuck and offers no hope for improved conditions. Personal power is as available as our decision to use it. And it is bolstered by all the strength we'll ever need. The decision to take our lives in hand will exhilarate us. The decision each day to be thoughtful, prayerful, and wholly responsible for all that we do will nourish our developing selves. Each responsible choice moves us toward our wholeness, strengthening our sense of self, our well-being.
I will change only who I can today: myself.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Being Gentle with Ourselves
During Times of Grief
The process of adapting to change and loss takes energy. Grief is draining, sometimes exhausting. Some people need to "cocoon for transformation," in Pat Carnes's words, while going through grief.
We may feel more tired than usual. Our ability to function well in other areas of our life may be reduced, temporarily. We may want to hide out in the safety of our bedroom.
Grief is heavy. It can wear us down.
It's okay to be gentle with ourselves when we're gong through change and grief. Yes, we want to maintain the disciplines of recovery. But we can be compassionate with ourselves. We do not have to expect more from ourselves than we can deliver during this time. We do not even have to expect as much from ourselves as we would normally and reasonably expect.
We may need more rest, more sleep, more comfort. We may be more needy and have less to give. It is okay to accept ourselves, and our changed needs, during times of grief, stress, and change.
It is okay to allow ourselves to cocoon during times of transformation. We can surrender to the process, and trust that a new, exciting energy is being created within us.
Before long, we will take wings and fly.
God, help me accept my changed needs during times of grief, change, and loss.


I do not let pain or discomfort stop me from looking at myself in a true and honest light. I do not run away from myself today or block or disguise my reality. I face my life fully today to learn from its lessons. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 12
Trust Yourself to Know What’s Right

Sometimes we find ourselves with people or in places we can’t adapt to. No matter how hard we try, no matter how much we want it to, it just doesn’t feel right. Doesn’t fit. We are trying to jam the proverbial square peg into the round hole. Only what we’re trying to jam isn’t a block of wood– it’s us.

Sometimes in situations like these we revert to old ways of thinking, believing, and feeling. There must be something wrong with me if I don’t like this, if this isn’t working. If I try harder, control my emotions, jam a little harder, this square peg– me– will fit.

Those are the times we may begin to feel confused, weak, scattered, uncertain. We abandon ourselves. Our emotions disappear. Our passion wanes. We may begin sleeping, escaping, drifting further and further away. Our soul begins squirming in reaction to what we’re trying to force ourselves to do. We may become physically ill. It’s as though we’re allergic to our surroundings. Sometimes, we may spend years in this process– depending on what we’re afraid to face or what we’re afraid to lose. Other times, this process may only last hours or days,.

We can take as much time as we need to listen to and take care of ourselves. But if we love ourselves, we won’t torture ourselves for long, because we know we don’t have to. If a place or person or situation doesn’t work for us, that’s okay. We don’t have to punish ourselves. We don’t have to go away from ourselves. We can leave the situation.

Trust yourself– your body and your soul– to know what’s right for you. Learn to feel the energy of a situation, place, or person. If something feels right, you feel in harmony mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t abandon yourself. Leave the situation. Try something else until you do feel right.

You may not always know at first when a thing, place, or person is wrong for you. But if you listen to your body and trust your heart, you can learn to tell when it’s right.

*****

more language of letting go
See it and let it go

This is a reminder. While you're using your imagination, embracing your dreams, and spending your time visualizing positive performance, don't forget to let go.

Don't worry about how things will come to pass. Your part is seeing the best for yourself. Then return to the details of your daily life.

It's safe to let go and let God. Just because we have the creative powers to imagine doesn't mean we have to control the rest. Say, I see, then let it go.

Let God work the manifest.

God, after I've seen my dreams and visualizations, help me give them back to you.

*****

Expressions of the Heart
Creating Meaningful Homemade Gifts

The gifts we craft with our own hands are often the most significant because the love that drove us to create is infused in the products of our creation. And the recipients of these homemade offerings receive a token of our willingness to invest ourselves in their joy. Allow these ideas to inspire you:

1. When you craft a beautifully decorated prayer box (or jar) for loved ones, you give them the gift of spiritual awareness. As you share this gift, explain that it should serve as a receptacle for their hopes, dreams, and loves—as well as worries—and thus a reminder of who they were, are, and will someday be.

2. If you love journaling, share your writing joy with family and friends by giving each a unique, handmade personal journal. A simple spiral notebook dressed up with paper, fabric, photographs, or other embellishments will give your loved ones a special place to record their private thoughts.

3. Erase the distance between yourself and your far away loved ones by presenting each with a photo journal documenting how your life has changed in the past year. Or introduce them to your locale with a homemade guidebook that highlights everything you love about your town or city.

4. When you sew medicine bags for the people you care about, you can rest assured your gift will always be close to their hearts. A small pouch can be filled with many meditative or symbolic items, such as quartz crystals, sage, or magical objects.

5. A progressive photo album, wherein pictures tell the story of your relationships from the past up to the present, can be a simple yet poignant reminder of the many wonderful experiences you and your loved ones have shared over the years.

6. Give the gift of serenity with a guided meditation you create and record to CD or tape. Your loved ones will take pleasure in being led through tranquil landscapes by the soothing sound of your voice.

7. Hand-crafted ornaments that can be hung on trees, in windows, and on walls afford you an opportunity to surround the important people in your life with beauty. Whether you prefer to work with clay, crystals, fabric, baked dough, or natural objects, your gift can serve as a calming focal point in your loved ones’ homes.

Whether you choose to give a gift or simply share your friendship and love, remember that it is the intention behind the thought that is most important. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

Many people we meet in The Program radiate a kind of special glow — a joy for living that shows in their faces and very bearing. They’ve put aside alcohol and other mood-altering chemicals and have progressed to the point where they’re “high” on life itself. Their confidence and enthusiasm are contagious — especially to those who are new in The Program. The astonishing thing to newcomers is that those same joyous people also were once heavily burdened. The miracle of their before-and-after stories and new outlook is living proof that The Program works. Does my progress in The Program serve to carry the message to others?

Today I Pray

I pray that my own transformation through The Program — from burdened to unburdened, beaten down to unbeat, careless to caring, tyrannized by chemicals to chemically free -0- will be as much inspiration for newcomers as the dramatic changes to other’ lives have been for me. May I — like those other joyous ones in the fellowship — learn how to be “high on life.”

Today I Will Remember

Life is the greatest “high” of them all.

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One More Day

Joy . . . is found only in the good things of the soul.
– Philo

Every day has its ups and downs — its good and bad moments. The joys that today offers must be personally claimed, by each of us, or they will pass by unnoticed.

The events that cause a joyful experience are different for all individuals. We sometimes share joyful experiences with other people. Watching an infant walk for the first time can be a shared joy and a lasting memory. Recognizing that our friends, or perhaps even ourselves, have found help in dealing with personal problems or harmful behaviors can also be joyful experiences.

Joy can also be a private time — fishing on a lovely morning, watching the petals of a flow unfold, or being part of a growing relationship. All contribute to our sense of well-being.

In this day, I will be aware of the people and activities that give me joy.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

GRIEF
“To spare oneself from grief at all cost
can be achieved only at the price of a total detachment,
which excludes the ability to experience happiness.”
Erich Fromm

In the years before program I lived in a bland state of non-feeling and I ran away from all painful emotions, especially loss and grief. Of course my drug of choice was always there to keep the painful emotions at bay. Whenever I experienced any kind of loss, I was always able to focus my attention on other things. Instead of feeling my own emotions, I focused on being strong for someone else whose loss I perceived to be greater than mine. For some strange reason I didn’t think I had the right to grieve.

After losing a beloved cat recently, I was overwhelmed by all the painful emotions of loss and grief. It was almost as though all of my previous losses were combined into this latest loss, but instead of running from my feelings, I allowed myself the luxury of grieving for my cat who was so special to me. This time I didn’t need to run away into my addiction. Of course it was hard and painful, but I know that allowing myself to feel even uncomfortable feelings like this is part of being alive and that means allowing myself to feel both the positive emotions and the negative ones.

One day at a time...
I will allow myself to feel both the good emotions and the bad ones. Because I have a program, I don’t need to blot them out with addictive behavior.
~ Sharon S.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever ( with an without a solemn oath ), taking more exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums - we could increase the list ad infinitum. - Pg. 31 - More About Alcoholism

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

We do not believe in blind following. As when Clement wrote 'faith must go hand in hand with inquiry.' If you do not 'get' something, ASK. Ask at meetings, ask a sober friend, ask your sponsor, or ask your Higher Power in meditation. Honest questions get honest answers.

God, as I understand You, right now I want to know ______________. Thank You for the answer I know I'll receive.

Fear

Today, I allow myself to experience my fears as fears, and not dictate or color my life circumstances because of them. They are real, and it is understandable that I have them. Healing mobilizes my deep fears, and they come up more intensely than ever. This is a part of my process of growth, and growth is not neat and tidy. When I am very afraid, I will comfort myself or seek comfort from someone else. I will understand that I am afraid and that even though I fear the worst, the worst will not necessarily happen. My feelings feel very powerful inside me, particularly when they have been repressed and are surfacing after many years, but they are not facts. I can survive my fears and understand that they will pass.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

'A boxer was in his corner on his knees praying, and someone asked a minister, 'Will that help him?' The minister replied, 'Not if he can't box.' ~Fr Joe M., (P 105, Alkiespeak)

God works with me, not for me.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

There is a big difference between being a mistake and making one.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I do not let pain or discomfort stop me from looking at myself in a true and honest light.

I do not run away from myself today or block or disguise my reality.

I face my life fully today to learn from its lessons.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

After all is said and done. More is said than done. Anon.

[bluidkiti]

October 13

Daily Reflections

UNREMITTING INVENTORIES

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment,
and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove
them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make
amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely
turn our thoughts to someone we can help.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 84

The immediate admission of wrong thoughts or actions is a
tough task for most human beings, but for recovering alcoholics
like me it is difficult because of my propensity toward ego,
fear and pride. The freedom the A.A. program offers me becomes
more abundant when, through unremitting inventories of myself,
I admit, acknowledge and accept responsibility for my wrong-doing.
It is possible then for me to grow into a deeper and better
understanding of humility. My willingness to admit when the
fault is mine facilitates the progression of my growth and helps
me to become more understanding and helpful to others.

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

A.A. work is one hundred percent voluntary. It depends on each
and every one of our members to volunteer to do his or her share.
Newcomers can sit on the sidelines until they have got over their
nervousness and confusion. They have a right to be helped by all,
until they can stand on their own feet. But the time inevitably
comes when they have to speak up and volunteer to do their share
in meetings and in twelfth step work. Until that time comes, they
are not a vital part of A.A. They are only in the process of being
assimilated. Has my time come to volunteer?

Meditation For The Day

God's kingdom on earth is growing slowly, like a seed in the
ground. In the growth of his kingdom there is always progress
among the few who are out ahead of the crowd. Keep striving for
something better and there can be no stagnation in your life.
Eternal life, abundant life is yours for the seeking. Do not
mis-spend time over past failures. Count the lessons earned
from failures as rungs upon the ladder of progress. Press onward
toward the goal.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may be willing to grow. I pray that I may keep
stepping up on the rungs of the ladder of life.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

FAITH-A BLUEPRINT-AND WORK, p. 284

"The idea of 'twenty-four-hour living' applies primarily to the
emotional life of the individual. Emotionally speaking, we must not live
in yesterday, nor in tomorrow.

"But I have never been able to see that this means the individual, the
group, or A.A. as a whole should give no thought whatever to how to
function tomorrow or even in the more distant future. Faith alone
never constructed the house you live in. There had to be a blueprint
and a lot of work to bring it into reality.

"Nothing is truer for us of A.A. than the Biblical saying 'Faith without
works is dead.' A.A.'s services, all designed to make more and better
Twelfth Step work possible, are the 'works' that insure our life and
growth by preventing anarchy or stagnation."

LETTER, 1954

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Walk In Dry Places

When are we receiving guidance?
Guidance
We have to face the fact that what we see as divine guidance may simply be an expression of self-will.. We are all too familiar with examples of people who did terrible things, claiming to be obeying orders from God.
We cannot judge whether another is really receiving guidance from a Higher Power. In our own lives, however, we can learn to distinguish between God’s guidance and our self-will. The outstanding characteristic of a divinely guided action is the strong sense of peace it brings. Even if we have to deny oureslves for a time, we sense that the final outcome of any decision will be beneficial for all concerned. We do not have to argue for or defend our decision.
When self-will is in the saddle, we may find ourselves being called on to justify our actions. We may also have to quell or rationalize feelings of guilt or doubt.
The right answers come when self-will is working in harmony with the Higher Will. Our lves will have a quality that everybody senses, including ourselves.
Knowing that self-will can easily lead me astray, I'll listen today for the divine voice of my Higher Power.

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Keep It Simple

Self-pity is one of the most dangerous forms of self-centeredness. It fogs our vision. ---Kathy S.
Sometimes we get stuck in our own way of seeing things. We may feel as if everything that happens, happens to us or for us. If it rains, we may think about our ruined picnic and not about the dry fields that need the rain. We need to focus on the big picture. This keeps us from becoming self-centered. If it rains, we’ll gather indoors and be glad for the farmers. When we do our part, things go well. When we don’t we feel it. Every else feels it too. Self pity keeps us from doing our part.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, help me see myself as a big part of the picture. My job is just is to do my part.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll think about how I fit in with my Higher Power, my family, the place I work, my community. Do I do my part?

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

Never turn down a job because you think it's too small; you don't know where it can lead. --Julia Morgan
How short is our vision of where an invitation might take us! Any invitation. Of one thing we can be certain, it offers an opportunity for making a choice, which means taking responsibility for who we're becoming. Choice making is growth enhancing because it strengthens our awareness of personal power.
Our lives unfold in small measures, just as small as they need to be for our personal comfort. It's doubtful that we could handle everything the future has in store, today; however, we will be prepared for it, measure by measure, choice by choice, day by day. We need not fear; what is meted out to us in the invitations offered is for our benefit. We are on a pathway to goodness.
The thrill of making choices is new to many of us when we enter this program. We'd opted for the passive life, all too often, and we became increasingly aware of, and often depressed by, our self-imposed powerlessness. Free at last! We are free at last to fully participate in our lives.
I will be grateful for the many options to act tugging at me today. Every choice I make strengthens my womanhood.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

Another feeling we are very likely to entertain is one of resentment that love and loyalty could not cure our husbands of alcoholism. We do not like the thought that the contents of a book or the work of another alcoholic has accomplished in a few weeks that for which we struggled for years. At such moments we forget that alcoholism is an illness over which we could not possibly have had any power. Your husband will be the first to say it was your devotion and care which brought him to the point where he could have a spiritual experience. Without you he would have gone to pieces long ago. When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings. After all, your family is reunited, alcohol is no longer a problem and you and your husband are working together toward an undreamed-of future.

pp. 118-119

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

The judge sentenced me to six months in Alcoholics Anonymous, and was I outraged! By now I had been arrested five times, but all I could see was a hard partier, not an alcoholic. Didn't you people know the difference? So I started going to those stupid meetings and identified myself as an alcoholic so you'd sign my court card, even though I couldn't possibly be an alcoholic. I had a six-figure income, owned my own home. I had a car phone. I used ice cubes, for God's sake. Everyone knows an alcoholic, at least one that had to go to A.A., is a skid row bum in a dirty raincoat drinking from a brown paper bag. So each time you read that part in Chapter Five of the Big Book that says, "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it." my ears closed. You had the disease of alcoholism, and the last thing I wanted was to be an alcoholic.

pp. 332-333

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Now that we're in A.A. and sober, and winning back the esteem of our friends and business associates, we find that we still need to exercise special vigilance. As an insurance against "big-shot-ism" we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is far more His success than ours.

p. 92

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"Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next.
Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer."
--Denis Waitley

I pray to see the path God lights for me as I am at times blinded by my own lack of
consciousness or lack of faith.
--Shelley

Spend 2 minutes a day reassuring yourself that you are made of loving
thoughts. Spend the rest of the day acting on those thoughts.
--unknown

"Those who walk with God always get to their destination."
--Unknown

"No one is useless in this world who lightens the burden of it to anyone else."
--Charles Dickens

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

PREJUDICE

"I am the inferior of any man
whose rights I trample underfoot."
-- Horace Greeley

Now I can see my feelings of inferiority in the assumed arrogance of my past
behavior. Now I see that behind the pride was the need to prove myself. The
manipulation was a cover for my insecurity.

At some point years ago I accepted the idea that I was not good enough and needed
to pretend to be something different. The use of alcohol was part of this disease
process. Money, friends, fast cars and debts were all drawn into the delusion.

Today I am learning to accept me. I am not a millionaire, I will probably never be a
millionaire and so I do not need to adopt the lifestyle of a millionaire! I work in an
office. I drive a Ford. But today I am happy. Today I can pay my bills. Today I have
friends who are involved in my life. Today I do not have to put people down to
feel important. Today I have discovered that the people I treated with disdain are
just like me.

I pray that I may receive healing and forgiveness from those I considered inferior.

************************************************** *********

Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes."
Mark 9:23

"The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more."
Psalm 121:8

"Come near to God and he will come near to you."
James 4:8a

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Daily Inspiration

Good is always coming to you. No matter what is happening in your life, you can bless it with prayer and be peaceful. Lord, You give me the courage to face any situation confidently and victoriously.

Choose to be worthy to yourself and never confuse self worth with behavior. Lord, help me to be less critical of my past and see that this moment right now is all that I can do anything about.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

Making A Difference

"Words cannot describe the sense of spiritual awareness that we receive when we have given something, no matter how small, to another person."

Basic Text p. 100

Sometimes it seems as though there is so much wrong with the world that we might as well forget trying to make a difference. "After all," we think, "what in the world can I do? I'm just one person." Whether our concerns are so broad that we desire global peace or so personal that we simply want recovery made available to every addict who wants it, the task seems overwhelming. "So much work to do, so little time," we sigh, sometimes wondering how we'll ever do any good.

Amazingly enough, the smallest contributions can make the biggest difference. To gain more from life than an ordinary, plodding existence requires very little effort on our parts. We ourselves are transformed by the deep satisfaction we experience when we lift the spirits of just one person. When we smile at someone who is frowning, when we let someone in front of us on the freeway, when we call a newcomer just to say we care, we enter the realm of the extraordinary.

Want to change the world? Start with the addict sitting next to you tonight, and then imagine your act of kindness multiplied. One person at a time, each one of us makes a difference.

Just for today: An act of kindness costs me nothing, but is priceless to the recipient. I will be kind to someone today.

pg. 299

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
...(the king) can deprive them of the benefit of sun and rain, . . . and they are at the same time pelted from above with great stones, . . . while the roofs of their houses are beaten to pieces. --Jonathan Swift
How do we punish those momentarily gone wrong? Do we try hurting with words--jab them in the heart with some spear-shaped phrases, slap them in the face with an insult or two? Maybe we like to poison them with a strong dose of silence. Have we tried to make them feel bad by making them feel sorry for us? Do we remind them daily that what went wrong with our lives is really all their fault?
We must remember that we are the rulers of our own lives only, and this knowledge gives us the power to punish only ourselves. It also gives us control over our lives, so that others' actions need not wrong us, and we need not punish.
Have I been punishing someone?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
I can sing a prayer as well as say it. --Baal Shem Tov
Lightness of spirit, song, and liberation are the products of a hearty spirituality. There is never a moment we don't have reason to fret or mourn. If we need to grieve, our recovery helps and supports us. But more than that, we are freed in this new life to be men of song and humor. We can sing although life is painful, because we are part of a group of recovering people. We're part of an unfolding mystery. We have love and it is beautiful.
Each time we let go of a secret or an old guilt or a worry about the future, our spirit is lightened. Maybe we experience this at its fullest while spending time with friends who take us just as we are. Perhaps we find it by seeing a funny movie or singing with a group. In the wisdom of the Steps, we are asked to do difficult and painful tasks, which lead to our spiritual awakening. A light spirit celebrates the outcome of our hard work.
I will remember that my laughter and song are also ways of praying.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Never turn down a job because you think it's too small; you don't know where it can lead. --Julia Morgan
How short is our vision of where an invitation might take us! Any invitation. Of one thing we can be certain, it offers an opportunity for making a choice, which means taking responsibility for who we're becoming. Choice making is growth enhancing because it strengthens our awareness of personal power.
Our lives unfold in small measures, just as small as they need to be for our personal comfort. It's doubtful that we could handle everything the future has in store, today; however, we will be prepared for it, measure by measure, choice by choice, day by day. We need not fear; what is meted out to us in the invitations offered is for our benefit. We are on a pathway to goodness.
The thrill of making choices is new to many of us when we enter this program. We'd opted for the passive life, all too often, and we became increasingly aware of, and often depressed by, our self-imposed powerlessness. Free at last! We are free at last to fully participate in our lives.
I will be grateful for the many options to act tugging at me today. Every choice I make strengthens my womanhood.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Substance over Form
I'm learning that for a variety of reasons, I've spent much of my life focusing on form rather than substance. My focus has been on having my hair done perfectly, wearing the right clothes, having my makeup applied perfectly, living in the right place, furnishing it with the right furniture, working at the right job, and having the right man. Form, rather than substance, has controlled my behavior in many areas of my life. Now, I'm finally getting to the truth. It's substance that counts. --Anonymous
There is nothing wrong in wanting to look our best. Whether we are striving to create a self, a relationship, or a life, we need to have some solid ideas about what we want that to look like.
Form gives us a place to begin. But for many of us, form has been a substitute for substance. We may have focused on form to compensate for feeling afraid or feeling inferior. We may have focused on form because we didn't know how to focus on substance.
Form is the outline; substance is what fills it in. We fill in the outline of ourselves by being authentic; we fill in the outline of our life by showing up for life and participating to the best of our ability.
Now, in recovery, we're learning to pay attention to how things work and feel, not just to what they look like.
Today, I will focus on substance in my life. I will fill in the lines of myself with a real person - me. I will concentrate on the substance of my relationships, rather than what they look like. I will focus on the real working of my life, instead of the trappings.


I am at peace today knowing that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself. --Ruth Fishel

************************************

Journey To The Heart
October 13
You Are on Time

Quit wondering, worrying, and blaming yourself for being late. Or worse yet, missing the boat.

“Nothing else in the universe frets about being late. Does the moon ask itself if it’s where it should be? Does the sun say, “I must hurry, else I’ll be late?” a friend asked one evening when I was worrying about not being on time.

Stare up into the sky on a beautiful moonlit night. Feel the quiet, timeless rhythm of the planets, the moon, the stars, the universe. Know that you’re connected, tuned into a rhythm deeper and more secure than all your wondering could imagine. Breathe deeply. Relax. Let your pace spring from knowing that inside your heart.

Trust the rhythm of the universe. You are right where you need to be. You’ll get where you need to go. You have all the time you need.

*****

more language of letting go
Let go of what you can't see,too

Let life unfold, even if you can't see the good that you want coming your way. Are you worried about what's going to happen next? Has there been a shift in your job or relationship that makes you tense?

Let life unfold. Don't limit it by the past or even by what you can see and visualze. Don't deny that you feel discouraged or anxious. Let today unfold. Then tomorrow, do the same. If you've been worrying about something and you can't see how it could possibly work out and there's nothing to do now, then relax and let things unfold.

Sometimes the unexpected things that manifest are better than what we can imagine or see. Even if we can't see the good coming our way, God can.

God, help me know that what is unseen today will be made clear when the time is right.

*****

The Start of Change
Breaking Family Cycles by Madisyn Taylor

Breaking the chains of family cycles can be done, and it only takes one person to step and take action.

It is easy to believe that in leaving our childhood homes and embarking upon the journey of adulthood, we have effectively removed ourselves from harmful and self-perpetuating familial patterns. In looking closely at ourselves, however, we may discover that our behaviors and beliefs are still those that were impressed upon us during our youth by our parents, grandparents, and the generations that preceded them. We may find ourselves unconsciously perpetuating cycles of the previous generations, such as fear of having enough, not showing affection, and secrecy patterns. Yet the transmission of negative patterns from one generation to the next is not inevitable. It is possible to become the endpoint at which negative family cycles that have thrived for generations are exhausted and can exert their influence no longer. Breaking the pattern is a matter of overcoming those values imprinted upon us long ago in order to replace them with pure love, tolerance, and conscious awarenes! s.

Even if you have struggled with the cumulative effects of family cycles that were an expression of established modes of living and a reflection of the strife your ancestors were forced to endure, you can still liberate yourself from the effects of your family history. The will to divest yourself of old, dark forms of familial energy and carry forth a new loving energy may come in the form of an epiphany. You may one day simply realize that certain aspects of your early life have negatively affected your health, happiness, and ability to evolve as an individual. Or you may find that in order to transcend long-standing patterns of limiting beliefs, irrational behavior, and emotional stiltedness, you have to question your values and earnestly examine how your family has impacted your personality. Only when you understand how family cycles have influenced you can you gain freedom from those cycles.

In order to truly change, you must give yourself permission to change. Breaking family patterns is in no way an act of defiance or betrayal. It is important that you trust yourself implicitly when determining the behaviors and beliefs that will help you overwrite the generation-based cyclical value system that limited your individual potential. Many people are on the earth at this time to break family cycles, for all of you are true pioneers. In breaking negative family cycles, you will discover that your ability to express your feelings and needs grows exponentially and that you will embark upon a journey toward greater well-being that can positively impact generations to come. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

My progress in recovery depends in large measure of my attitude, and my attitude is up to me. It’s the way I decide to look at things. Nobody can force an attitude on me. For me, a good attitude is a point of view unclouded by self-pity and resentments. There will be stumbling blocks in my path, without a doubt. But The Program has taught me that stumbling blocks can be turned into stepping stones for growth. Do I believe, as Tennyson put it, “that men may rise on stepping stones of their dead selves to hide things…”?

Today I Pray

May God help me cultivate a healthy attitude toward myself. The Program and other people. God, keep me from losing my spiritual stabilizers, which keep me level in purpose and outlook. Let me ignore self-pity, discouragement and my tendency to over-dramatize. Let no dead-weight burden throw me out of balance.

Today I Will Remember

I can’t be discouraged with God on my side.

************************************

One More Day

You learn to build your roads on today, because tomorrow’s ground is too uncertain for plans, and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
– Veronica Shoffstal

We may have lived a significant portion of our adult lives planning for the future. Although we must make some provision for tomorrow — savings accounts, wills, pension plans — our attempts to live a full, rewarding life must be made each day.

Growth occurs in the present; it’s never accomplished if it’s postponed until tomorrow. Each day we choose the direction of our lives, whether we know it or not. Either we take positive steps toward better goals and stronger values, or we move not at all by “planning” our lives in some uncertain future.

I will make good choices for myself in the reality of today.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

HONESTY
“Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.”
Thomas Jefferson

Throughout my ups and downs in life and in working the Steps, I have discovered the importance of complete honesty. No matter what I feel or think, being honest about it with myself, others and God helps me to stay in a healthier state of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness. When I first started in the program, the idea of telling my Higher Power how I really felt was foreign to me. Sure I asked for help and “explained” what I was going through, but I didn’t often pour my heart out. I didn’t want to offend or burden God with complaints or weakness.

With the help of the Steps, I have let go of the formal prayers I learned in my youth and I more often tell God the way my life really is. Sometimes that includes sharing my negative attitude, crying, or just conversing casually with God. My Higher Power is full of acceptance and understanding and is pleased every time I share my honest thoughts and feelings with Him.

The years of denying and burying my feelings have resulted in an automatic reaction to not allow myself to feel or think straight in lots of situations. If I can take the time to identify exactly where I am and then honestly admit that to God and others (when needed), I have made progress.

Sharing my true self with a sponsor or in a meeting helps, too. It lifts the blinders from my eyes so that I can see my reality and proceed from there. If I hide from God, fool myself or deceive others, I rob myself of honesty which is the foundation of my progress towards serenity and wisdom.

One day at a time...
For today I will embrace my reality, the good and the bad. I will honestly admit my thoughts and feelings to myself, to another person and to God.
~ Susanne

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

In this way we tried to shape a sane and sound ideal for our future sex life. We subjected each relation to this test - was it selfish or not? We asked God to mold our ideals and help us to live up to them. We remembered always that our sex powers were God-given and therefore good, neither to be used lightly or selfishly nor to be despised and loathed.
Whatever our ideal turns out to be, we must be willing to grow toward it. We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring about still more harm in so doing. In other words, we treat sex as we would any other problem. In meditation, we ask God what we should do about each specific matter. The right answer will come, if we want it. - Pg. 69 - How It Works

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Even when our intentions are good, when we try to dominate the actions of others, we usually end up on a collision course with them. This hour, let us tend to our affairs and not the affairs of others.

Tolerance is my path to harmony with my fellows. May I be granted some tolerance this hour.

Fear of Change

Today, I am able to live with my fear that I will not like myself or those close to me if we change. Change is threatening, and healing and growing include change. It doesn't matter to my fearful self if the change is for the better or worse. In fact, change for the better can sometimes be even more threatening. I fear that I will not know how to act or have the tools to be with the 'better' without smearing my disease all over it. I remind myself today, again, that I do not have to grow perfectly. This is not an easy road, but the gains are so apparent that I will have faith that my tough times will come to an end.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Some members believe that our program is too idealistic and doesn't really apply in the 'real' world. They don't get the 'in all our affairs' part. If it works in any place, then it works in every place.

If I work my program in only one place, then I'm not working my program.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

The miracle of recovery is that no matter where you are, you're here.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I am at peace today, knowing that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I try to keep my words palatable - I never know when I may have to eat them. - Anon.

[bluidkiti]

October 14

Daily Reflections

A PROGRAM FOR LIVING

When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. . . . On awakening let us think
about the twenty-four hours ahead. . . Before we begin, we ask God to direct our thinking,
especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives.
ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p. 86

I lacked serenity. With more to do than seemed possible, I fell further behind, no matter
how hard I tried. Worries about things not done yesterday and fear of tomorrow's
deadlines denied me the calm I needed to be effective each day. Before taking Steps Ten
and Eleven, I tried to focus on God's will, not my problems, and to trust that He would
manage my day. It worked! Slowly, but it worked!

************************************************** *********

Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

How big a part of my life is A.A.? Is it just one of my activities and a small one at that?
Do I only go to A.A. meetings now and then and sometimes never go at all? Do I think of
A.A. only occasionally? Am I reticent about mentioning A.A. to people who might need
help? Or does A.A. fill a large part of my life? Is it the foundation of my whole life?
Where would I be without A.A.? Does everything I have and I do depend on my A.A.
foundation? Is A.A. the foundation on which I build my life?

Meditation For The Day

Lay upon God your failures and mistakes and shortcomings. Do not dwell upon your
failures, upon the fact that in the past you have been nearer a beast than an angel. You
have a mediator between you and God--your growing faith--which can lift you up from the
mire and point you toward the heavens. You can still be reconciled with the spirit of God.
You can still regain your harmony with the Divine Principle of the universe.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may not let the beast in me hold me back from my spiritual destiny. I pray
that I may rise and walk upright.

************************************************** *********

As Bill Sees It

FALSE PRIDE, p. 285

The alarming thing about pride-blindness is the ease with which it is
justified. But we need not look far to see that self-justification is a
universal destroyer of harmony and of love. It sets man against man,
nation against nation. By it, every form of folly and violence can be
made to look right, and even respectable.

*******************************

It would be a product of false pride to claim that A.A. is a cure-all,
even for alcoholism.

1. GRAPEVINE, JUNE 1961
2. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 232

************************************************** *********

Walk In Dry Places

What is true sharing?
Sharing
Though it comes without a price, the sharing we undertake in the AA program has value without limits. When we share our experience, strength, and hope with others, we become both teachers and friends.
Sometimes we are led to believe that we should share our material goods with others, but all we learn is that this often fails to help anyone. Such sharing is not wrong, but it can be misused and misdirected.
In the form of sharing we practice, there can be only gain for all involved in the exchange. Our sharing of personal experience may be just what another person needs at the time. What also matters is that we need it and can benefit from it.
True sharing of this kid is one of the great secrets of AA's success. If our program isn't working well, perhaps we should do more of this sharing.
I'll seek to share my true feelings with others today, in the hope that this will help all of us.

************************************************** *********

Keep It Simple

A baby is God’s opinion that the world should go on. ---Carl Sandburg
Recovery, is also God’s opinion that the world should go on. But when we used alcohol and other drugs, there were days when even the sight of a newborn baby couldn’t bring hope into our hearts. We were spiritually dead. We didn’t care if the world went on. We didn’t care about anything but getting high.
Through recovery, our souls come alive.
The beauty of a fall day can reach our hearts. We can see the miracle found in a baby’s eyes. We can see the beauty of the world. We can feel how much we’re loved by our Higher Power and by others. This is how we know we’re alive. Hope fills our minds and love fill our hearts.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, now that I again believe the world should go on, have me work to improve it. Have me be a person who makes the world more beautiful.
Action for the Day: Today, I’ll notice the children and babies around me. I’ll notice how alive they are. I’ll try to be as alive as they are.

************************************************** *********

Each Day a New Beginning

The balance between mind and spirit comes hard for me. The eternal split. Two entities, perfectly aware and yet perfectly unwilling to cooperate. --Mary Casey
The program directs our spiritual growth, a human aspect that had atrophied, if ever it had existed, for most of us before abstinence. And the process of developing our spiritual nature is painstaking. Living by our wits, or the fervent application of "situational analysis" had been our survival tools for months or years.
To return repeatedly to the old tools for quick solutions to serious situations is second nature. Learning to rely on spiritual guidance for solutions and to use it to sharpen our analytical focus takes patience and continual effort.
Within our spiritual realm we find our connection to God. We have been given the wisdom; all the knowledge we need is at our fingertips. The confidence to move ahead and offer our special talent to others comes from our Spirit. We are all that we need to be. Our mind and our Spirits, in concert, can tackle any challenge and succeed.
My mind and my Spirit can become compatible entities with the development of my trust in each. Knowledge plus courage can move mountains. I have been given both.

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

Still another difficulty is that you may become jealous of the attention he bestows on other people, especially alcoholics. You have been starving for his companionship, yet he spends long hours helping other men and their families. You feel he should now be yours. It will do little good if you point that out and urge more attention for yourself. We find it a real mistake to dampen his enthusiasm for alcoholic work. You should join in his efforts as much as you possibly can. We suggest that you direct some of your thought to the wives of his new alcoholic friends. They need the counsel and love of a woman who has gone through what you have.

p. 119

************************************************** *********

Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

Eventually, you talked about my feelings in the meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous until I could no longer close my ears. I heard women, beautiful, successful women in recovery, talk about the things they had done while drinking, and I would think, "I did that that" or "I did worse than that!" Then I began to see the miracles that happen only in A.A. People who would nearly crawl in the doors, sick and broken, and who in a few weeks of meetings and not drinking one day at a time would get their health back, find a little job and friends who really cared, and then discover God in their lives. But the most compelling part of A.A., the part that made me want to try this sober thing, was laughter, the pure joy of laughter that I heard only from sober alcoholics.

p. 333

************************************************** *********

Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to some extent emotionally ill as well as frequently wrong, and then we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means. It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from the pains of growing up.

p. 92

************************************************** *********

I shall leap! No matter what is ahead, God is there to catch me.
--Shelley

One of the most valuable things we can do to heal one another is listen to each other's
stories.
--Rebecca Falls

Life is the first gift, love is the second, and understanding is the third.
--Marge Piercy

You get more than you give when you give more than you get.
--Cited in More of...The Best of BITS & PIECES

Much wisdom can be crowded into but four words:
In God we trust. This too shall pass. Live and let live. Still waters run deep. Bad news
travels fast. Love laughs at locksmiths. Nothing succeeds like success. Charity begins
at home. Politics make strange bedfellows. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Man
proposes, God disposes. Let sleeping dogs lie.
--Cited in The Best of BITS & PIECES

************************************************** *********

Father Leo's Daily Meditation

INDIVIDUALITY

"I am one individual on a small
planet in a little solar system in
one of the galaxies."
-- Roberto Assagioli

Spirituality develops a humility that is realistic. Realism teaches me that I am one among
many. That does not mean that I am less than anybody else, but it certainly doesn't mean
that I am above others.

Arrogance, fantasy and selfishness are characteristics of addiction that stop the
development of true individuality. To pretend to be something we are not, or have a
grandiose illusion about our own importance, misses the truth, misses our truth and
misses our individuality.

Humility is treating people with the respect we would want, giving people the freedom
we require in our life. Humility is perceiving our God-given talent and individuality.

I pray that I will remember that I am a "part of", rather than the sum total of this
universe.

************************************************** *********

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in
him shall not perish but have eternal life."
John 3:16

My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: and I give unto them
eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand.
John 10:27-28

"The LORD will not allow the righteous soul to famish, But He casts away the desire of the
wicked."
Proverbs 10:3

************************************************** *********

Daily Inspiration

Spend a little time each day taking care of your own physical and emotional needs and the rest of your day will be more effective. Lord, help me to enrich and care for myself so that I am not depleted of energy and health and have something within that I can use to enrich others.

Welcome God into every part of your life. He is always with you, ready to help, waiting to bless you with miracles and able to enrich your every moment. Lord, I call out your name often in praise, in thanksgiving and in every need.

************************************************** *********

NA Just For Today

The End Of Loneliness

"With the love that I am shown in Narcotics Anonymous, I have no excuse for loneliness."

Basic Text p. 262

Addiction is a lonely disease. We may be surrounded by people but, sooner or later, our addiction drives a wedge between us and even our closest loved ones. Many of us are driven to Narcotics Anonymous by a desperate loneliness.

Though we may approach the rooms of NA with caution and suspicion, we are welcomed with a hug, a smile, and a warm "keep coming back." This may be the first place where we have felt welcome in a long, long while. We watch other members talking and laughing, leaving the meeting in groups for more talk at the local coffee shop. We wonder if we, too, could become a part of this loving bunch.

Our pattern of isolation can make it difficult for us to join in. Over time, however, we begin to feel "a part of" rather than "apart from." Soon, when we walk into the rooms, we feel at home. We begin to make friends and our lives start to change.

NA teaches us how to overcome our isolation. Through our first tentative friendships formed in our home group, we start to find that making friends isn't hard. A sense of belonging comes when we share ourselves with others.

Just for today: I am thankful for the friendships my Higher Power has given me in NA. Because of them, I am lonely no more.

pg. 300

************************************************** *********

You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
If you're never scared or embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take any chances. --Julia Soul
Do we avoid making new friends because we're scared they won't like us? Do we get embarrassed when we make a mistake and avoid trying again? When we get our feelings hurt, do we think we're bad, or that something is wrong with us?
Being scared or shy or hurt are all part of being alive. When we try to stay away from painful feelings, we keep ourselves from having many wonderful adventures. If we're afraid to meet new people, we may never have any close friends. If we stop trying when we're embarrassed, we may never learn a better way of doing things. And if we don't share our hurt feelings, we may never find out that everyone else has the same feelings we have.
What can I try again today that I failed at yesterday?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
No man is more cheated than the selfish man. --Henry Ward Beecher
When we're selfish, we close off the channels of exchange with others. Not only are we grabbing and holding all the goods or attention we can get, but we are denying others the possibility of sharing with us in the benefits. We may be selfish in material goods, but there are many other ways too. Some of us expect our spouses to meet our needs while we make little effort to meet theirs. Some of us discover our selfishness as we drive, refusing to yield a position to another car or getting furious if we lose a place in heavy traffic.
By contrast, our generosity and welcoming responses nourish the spirit within us and create a good environment for our growth. Sometimes giving does not come easily. We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with our ultimate vulnerability. All of life is fragile, and we need each other to have a good life. We can truly hold onto nothing but ourselves. Giving what we can of our time, our energy, and our goods, helps create the kind of world we want to live in.
Today, I will look for ways to be generous with those I share this world with.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
The balance between mind and spirit comes hard for me. The eternal split. Two entities, perfectly aware and yet perfectly unwilling to cooperate. --Mary Casey
The program directs our spiritual growth, a human aspect that had atrophied, if ever it had existed, for most of us before abstinence. And the process of developing our spiritual nature is painstaking. Living by our wits, or the fervent application of "situational analysis" had been our survival tools for months or years.
To return repeatedly to the old tools for quick solutions to serious situations is second nature. Learning to rely on spiritual guidance for solutions and to use it to sharpen our analytical focus takes patience and continual effort.
Within our spiritual realm we find our connection to God. We have been given the wisdom; all the knowledge we need is at our fingertips. The confidence to move ahead and offer our special talent to others comes from our Spirit. We are all that we need to be. Our mind and our Spirits, in concert, can tackle any challenge and succeed.
My mind and my Spirit can become compatible entities with the development of my trust in each. Knowledge plus courage can move mountains. I have been given both.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Controlling Versus Trust
There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living that I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do, when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control. --Anonymous
Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic, and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed, and to distrust.
We may not trust ourselves, our Higher Power, the Plan, the Universe, or the process of life. Instead of trusting, we revert to control.
We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting - ourselves, our Higher Power, the love and support of the Universe, the Plan, and this process we call life and recovery.
We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want, God has something better planned.
We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go, say what we need to say, do what we need to do, know what we need to know, be who we need to be, and become all we can become, when we are intended to do that, when we are ready, and when the time is right.
We can trust our Higher Power and the Universe to give us all the direction we need.
We can trust ourselves to listen, and respond, accordingly.
We can trust that all we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey today. We shall receive today's supplies today, and tomorrow's supplies tomorrow. We were never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy, and the way was intended to be light.
Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan, control, and schedule all things. The schedule and plan have been written. All we need to do is show up.
The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply and clearly provided, one day at a time.
Trust, my friend, in today.
Today, I will trust that I will receive all I need to get me through today. I will trust that the same shall happen tomorrow.


I can accept whatever I am feeling today. Without resistance my feelings pass and I am then open to experience whatever is next. --Ruth Fishel

*****

Journey To The Heart
October 14
Clear Out the Clutter

Have you ever noticed how easy it is to accumulate possessions and clutter in your home, things you pick up along the way? Have you ever noticed how easy it is to begin accommodating this clutter, getting used to it, thinking of it as just part of your environment?

It can be that way with our emotions,too. No matter how hard we strive to stay clear, we pick up bits of clutter along the way.

It’s so easy to ignore deeply embedded emotions and their impact on our lives. Many of us have undercurrents of old emotional energy that have been with us for so long we don’t see them. We don’t see the anger, the fear, the sadness. We’ve lived with these feelings for so long they have become embedded in us, part of us. When one of these nudges us, we tuck it back in, pack it away, and go on about our lives. But the feelings stays with us until we consciously acknowledge and address it. It affects us and our lives until we heal it.

Find a way to heal those old feelings, perhaps journaling or writing your memoirs. Whatever technique you choose to begin this journey of deep healing, deep cleansing, take the time to become conscious of what you really feel. Observe yourself; listen closely to yourself. Is there an edge to your voice? Do you talk about a particular person or place with a high degree of emotional energy? Learn to become comfortable with the rhythm of allowing these emotions to surface. They aren’t that hard to find. When it’s time to heal them, they’ll present themselves.

Release your fear of facing what’s there. Tap into that deeper part of you. Acknowledge your emotional energy, and heal.

Start cleaning house. Each piece of emotional clutter you clear out will bring you closer to your soul.

*****

more language of letting go
See Naturally

I was talking to a friend one day about using visualization as a tool to help create the present and the future we desire. Visualization, or using the spiritual energy of thought as a tool, can create physical reality.

"I don't really do that much," he said. "I'm not one for visualization."

Later, we were talking about a project we were working on together. He began to describe the next stage of the process. "I see us working together on it like this," he said. He described in great detail how he saw things coming to pass.

I listened. When he finished, I told him, "You said you don't use visualization as a tool. But you just used it naturally, without thinking, to describe how we are going to work on the next stage of this project."

He thought for a moment, then said he guessed I was right.

Don't talk yourself out of using visualization as a tool. Most of us often use our imagination to consider things that are taking place now or in the future. Be aware of what you say and see, so that you can use this powerful tool, your imagination, to help create whatever it is that you really want to see.

Pay attention to the ways you use your imagination in your daily life, the number of times you naturally say how you see things working out. If you find yourself using your imaginative powers to create negative events, stop! Erase that scene and create something else.

God, help me become aware of how I see naturally. Help me use and respect my imagination as the powerful creative tool it is.

*****

Blue Skies
The Sky Is Blue Even on a Cloudy Day

When we refer to a “beautiful day,” we are often describing a day that is sunny, clear, and without a cloud in sight to mar a sky that is a brilliantly perfect blue. We find ourselves bouncing along, light in spirit, free from worries, and enjoying the moment. That is, until the clouds begin to form. The sky may turn grey, and a fog may roll in. Puffs of white take on whimsical, darker shades, and our beautiful day disappears along with the sunshine… or so it seems.

A clear blue sky often inspires in us good cheer, bringing on a lighter, more carefree day. We may find ourselves spending time outdoors, breathing in the fresh air, and basking in the warmth of the sun. Yet should clouds appear to wash the sky with shadows, we may let this change of weather decrease our energy and enthusiasm, pulling us into our own cloudy funk. Darker days are just as much a part of life as are the days graced with sunshine. They show us a different perspective of our world, while helping us appreciate the moments of illumination that inevitably follow. A rainy day with clouds helps to clear the air, washing away stagnation. Still, it’s hard not to feel gloomy or think that the day has been ruined when there are clouds hanging over us. Yet if you can remember that these shades of grey won’t last forever, and that hidden behind the clouds is the blue sky, you will find that the beauty of your day is merely playing a game of peek-a-boo with you. Like the mis! haps and interruptions that occasionally block the brilliance that is our own lives from shining through, clouds eventually clear away so we can open up to a brighter horizon.

The next time you wake up to a cloudy day, remember that these shades of grey in life are there just for the moment. And that no matter how hard the rain falls or how chilly the fog is, the clouds will go away, the sun will break through, and you will be able to see the sky that has always and forever been a beautiful and brilliant blue. Published with permission from Daily OM

*****

A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

“Fundamental progress has to do with the reinterpretation of basic ideas,” wrote Alfred North Whitehead. When we review the ups and downs of our recovery in The Program, we can see the truth of that statement. We make progress each time we get rid of an old idea, each time we uncover a character defect, each time we become ready to have that defect removed and then humbly ask God to remove it. We make progress, one day at a time, as we shun the first drink, the first pill, the first addictive act that will so quickly swerve us from the path of growth to the road back to torment and despair. Have I considered the progress I’ve made since I’ve come to The Program?

Today I Pray

May I remember that there are few new ideas in this world, only old ones reinterpreted and restated. May I be always conscious that even the big things in life — like love, brotherhood, God, sobriety — become more finely defined in each human life. so may the Twelve steps of the Program be rescinded in each of our lives, as we keep in mind that, basically, these are time-tried principles — which work.

Today I Will Remember

The Twelve step work.

*****

One More Day

Nothing sharpens sight like envy.
– Thomas Fuller

It’s natural to want to own things — a house, a car, nice clothes, a boat. Once in a while we are able to save and buy some things we like, but more often we have to set priorities and choose which items really matter to us most.

Almost all of us know someone who does seem to have it all — materially — and we may be envious. Perhaps, at those times we can better serve our needs if we reexamine our values and cast our eyes toward other people who have the things we really want — peace of mind, a loving nature, spiritual depth, and unjealous nature. Those “things” may be what we should strive for to own. These qualities can be purchased only with time, and enrich our lives more than mere material objects ever could.

I will take inventory of my qualities, not my possessions.

*****************************************

One Day At A Time

Patience
“Patience and perseverance have a magical effect
before which difficulties and obstacles vanish.”
John Quincy Adams

When I first walked through the meeting doors, I wanted recovery and I wanted it now! Give me the magic wand, I’ll waive it, then get on with my life—I thought.

One of the most difficult things I’ve had to learn is the art of patience and allowing God to work within his own time while I do the footwork to the best of my ability. It is my belief that the universe and my Higher Power will order the next level of my physical recovery. Physical recovery does not grow without spiritual progress. This Program is a journey, not a crash-course in fad dieting.

When I struggled with bouts of pride connected to my levels of patience and God’s timing, I knew I was uncovering yet another character flaw that could delay my spiritual recovery. Spiritual recovery, as “Old-timers” have told us again and again, is the actual foundation of the program. The “inner” person will eventually make its way to the outer person.

One day at a time...
Today I will slow down, take a deep breath, and just remind myself that my Higher Power is in control and that my natural pattern will develop under His nurture, care, and control.
~ January

*****************************************

AA 'Big Book' - Quote

In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed. - Pg. 101 - Working With Others

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

When intense cravings for our drug of choice overwhelm us, we immediately talk to another person in recovery, even late at night and people are going to bed. Our program teaches us to rely on each other and they will welcome the contact!

Give me the strength to contact another clean and sober person BEFORE I think of satisfying that craving.

Acting As If

There will be times when I do not feel up to things, when there seems to be too big a gap between who I think I am and who I want to be. I believe in being true to myself, in being basically honest. When I first try something new, it may feel as if I am trying on an article of clothing that doesn't quite suit me. But there is nothing wrong with acting 'as if.' I may need to practice new behaviors in order to become comfortable with them. Sometimes, when I allow myself to act 'as if,' the old me sort of falls away and makes room for something new. Children do this all the time, trying on different roles and playing with them. There is no reason to commit myself to a limited view of who I am.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Do not pay any attention if people accuse you of inconsistency. Of course you are! How else can you change? You cannot progress if you can't change and you can't change if you're always consistent. Practicing new behaviors is sometimes seen as inconsistent-be proud.

Practice makes progress.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

We do it the old fashioned way, we earn our recovery.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I can accept whatever I am feeling today.

Without resistance my feelings pass and I am then open to experience whatever is next.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

You can't save your face and your butt at the same time. - Unknown Origin.

[bluidkiti]

October 15

Daily Reflections

MY CHECKLIST, NOT YOURS

Gossip barbed with our anger, a polite form of murder by character assassination, has its
satisfactions for us, too. Here we are not trying to help those we criticize; we are trying to
proclaim our own righteousness.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 67

Sometimes I don't realize that I gossiped about someone until the end of the day, when I
take an inventory of the day's activities, and then, my gossiping appears like a blemish in
my beautiful day. How could I have said something like that? Gossip shows its ugly head
during a coffee break or lunch with business associates, or I may gossip during the
evening, when I'm tired from the day's activities, and feel justified in bolstering my ego at
the expense of someone else. Character defects like gossip sneak into my life when I am
not making a constant effort to work the Twelve Steps of recovery. I need to remind
myself that my uniqueness is the blessing of my being, and that applies equally to
everyone who crosses my path in life's journey. Today the only inventory I need to take
is my own. I'll leave judgment of others to the Final Judge--Divine Providence.

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Twenty-Four Hours A Day

A.A. Thought For The Day

Am I deeply grateful to A.A. for what it has done for me in regaining my sobriety and
opening up an entirely new life for me? A.A. has made it possible for me to take on other
interests, in business and in various other associations with people. It has made a full life
possible for me. It would perhaps be wrong if all my activities were limited to A.A. work.
It has made a well rounded life possible for me in work, in play and in hobbies of various
kinds. But will I desert A.A. because of this? Will I accept a diploma and become a
graduate of A.A.? Do I realize I could have nothing worth while without A.A.?

Meditation For The Day

There is only one way to get full satisfaction from life and that is to live the way you
believe God wants you to live. Live with God in that secret place of the spirit and you will
have a feeling of being on the right road. You will have a deep sense of satisfaction. The
world will have meaning and you will have a place in the world, work to do that counts in
the eternal order of things. Many things will work for you and with you, as long as you
feel you are on God's side.

Prayer For The Day

I pray that I may have a sense of the eternal value of the work I do. I pray that I may not
only work for now, but also for eternity.

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As Bill Sees It

MASTERING RESENTMENTS, p. 286

We began to see that the world and its people had really
dominated us. Under that unhappy condition, the wrongdoing of
others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill us, because we
could be driven back to drink through resentment. We saw that
these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish
them away.

This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us
were perhaps spiritually sick. So we asked God to help us show
them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would
cheerfully grant a sick friend.

Today, we avoid retaliation or argument. We cannot treat sick
people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful.
We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us
how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, pp. 66-67

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Walk In Dry Places

Reading about ourselves.
Gratitude
It's not only the experiences of our fellow AA members that can help us in recovery. We should also be able to see ourselves in stories about troubled people in the grip of alcoholism and anger.
Quite often, if we're truly honest, we can even see ourselves in tragic accounts of alcoholics who harmed others during drunken rages or blackouts. We might have stopped short of such behavior, but could this have happened to us? We might read of a drunken driving accident, for example, and realize that we narrowly escaped one or might have caused one had we not found sobriety.
Reading such accounts gives us deep pity and sympathy for al the people involved. These stories make us realize that alcoholism has many victims in addition to those who are afflicted with the same disease. And we should be grateful that sobriety enabled some of us to stay out of such news stores and not add to the world's problems.
Whatever happens today, I'll at least be grateful that sobriety can keep me from causing the out-of-control situations I read about in the daily newspapers.

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Keep It Simple

Not to decide is to decide. ---Harvey Cox
We are winners, because everyday we decide to stay sober. Every day we decide to listen to our Higher Power. We win by making active choices. We’ve stopped acting as if we have no choice. Our old way was to us by accident. Not true. We pretend we had no power. Also not true. We lost our power over alcohol and other drugs, but we still had the power to ask for help. Each time we used chemicals was a decision, just as to stay sober each day is a decision.
Prayer for the Day: Higher Power, thanks for giving me choices. I will not run from them. Help me make good choices. Help me decide every day to listen to you.
Action for the Day: Not for one minute will I pretend I am a victim. I’ll face my choices squarely and decide.

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Each Day a New Beginning

Flattery is so necessary to all of us that we flatter one another just to be flattered in return.

We are all deserving of unconditional love an d acceptance. And all the people in our lives, past and present, deserve our unconditional love and acceptance, too. However, it's doubtful that we either feel it all of the time from others or give it away.
It's human of us to find fault..... to have expectations that are too high. But for this we pay a price. Instead of experiencing our lives serenely, contentedly, flowing with what is, we often criticize, judge and feel generally disgruntled throughout the day. What a waste! We do have another choice, fortunately. We can let go and let God, and live and let live. Also we can recall, today and every day, that we are all special individuals in this world who are loved, fully, by our Creator.

The greatest contribution we can make to the lives of others is to be affirming. We can let our spouse, children, and friends know we care about them. That we love and accept them. The love that we also long for will come back to us. We thrill at being affirmed. And we will thrill at affirming.

It feels good to help another feel appreciated. Love and acceptance are my lifeline, from God around us all.

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition

Chapter 8 - TO WIVES

It is probably true that you and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic. Therefore, you probably need fresh interests and a great cause to live for as much as your husband. If you cooperate, rather than complain, you will find that his excess enthusiasm will tone down. Both of you will awaken to a new sense of responsibility for others. You, as well as your husband, ought to think of what you can put into life instead of how much you can take out. Inevitably your lives will be fuller for doing so. You will lose the old life to find one much better.

pp. 119-120

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Alcoholics Anonymous - Fourth Edition - Stories

Crossing The River Of Denial

She finally realized that when she enjoyed her drinking, she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it.

Still, the thought of getting sober terrified me. I hated the woman I had become, a compulsive, obsessive daily drinker, not dressing on weekends, always afraid of running out of alcohol. I'd start thinking about a drink by noon and would leave the office earlier and earlier. Or, promising myself that I wouldn't drink that night, I'd invariably find myself in front of the refrigerator with a drink in my hand, vowing, Tomorrow. I won't drink tomorrow. I despised all of it, but at least it was familiar. I had no idea what sobriety felt like, and I could not imagine life without alcohol. I had reached that terrifying jumping-off point where I couldn't drink anymore but I couldn't just not drink. For almost twenty-three years I had done something nearly every day of my life to change reality to one degree or another, yet I had to try this sober thing.

pp. 333-334

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Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions

Step Ten - "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."

Such a radical change in our outlook will take time, maybe a lot of time. Not many people can truthfully assert that they love everybody. Most of us must admit that we have loved but a few; that we have been quite indifferent to the many so long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the remainder--well, we have really disliked or hated them. Although these attitudes are common enough, we A.A.'s find we need something much better in order to keep our balance. We can't stand it if we hate deeply. The idea that we can be possessively loving of a few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little at a time.

pp. 92-93

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Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
--Carl Jung

"Your family and your love must be cultivated like a garden. Time, effort, and
imagination must be summoned constantly to keep any relationship flourishing and
growing."
--Jim Rohn

I may not be where I want to be, but Thank God I am not where I used to be.
--unknown

I am at peace today knowing that God is doing for me what I cannot do for myself.
--Ruth Fishel

God, let my hard times be healing times.
--Melody Beattie

Hatred toward any human being cannot exist in the same heart as love to God.
--Dean William Inge

Prayer is the one thing that can make a change in your life. If you will go direct to God in
simple, affirmative prayer, you can heal your body, bring peace and harmony into your
life, and make well-being a reality.
--Emmet Fox

Don't quit before the miracle happens.
--unknown

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Father Leo's Daily Meditation

MAJORITY

"One man with courage is a
majority."
-- Thomas Jefferson

Alcoholism made me afraid of my shadow. I became so petrified with fear that I could
not enjoy my life. And I felt that I could do nothing. My disease told me I was helpless. I
existed in an atmosphere of doom and gloom.

Then I experienced a "moment" of sanity when I saw that I was the problem in my
life. My pain was being caused by my actions and attitudes. I took courage,
confronted the disease in my life and decided to take small steps towards recovery. I
have built my confidence on that "moment" of courage I took years ago. I am not an
island unto myself. I am not alone. God is with me in my life.

Teach me to have the courage to be what You have created. May I accept my
miracle.

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God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.
Psalm 46:1

Without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that
He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him.
Hebrews 11:6

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Daily Inspiration

It is very humbling to realize that often what burdens us the most would be very missed if it were taken away. Lord, I will take the time to appreciate my life.

Mistakes give us experience. Without them going forward is almost impossible. Lord, may I always look for the good and use it to make tomorrow better.

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NA Just For Today

Choices

"We did not choose to become addicts."

Basic Text p. 3

When we were growing up, all of us had dreams. Every child has heard a relative or neighbor ask, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Even if some of us didn't have elaborate dreams of success, most of us dreamed of work, families, and a future of dignity and respect. But no one asked, "Do you want to be a drug addict when you grow up?"

We didn't choose to become addicts, and we cannot choose to stop being addicts. We have the disease of addiction. We are not responsible for having it, but we are responsible for our recovery. Having learned that we are sick people and that there is a way of recovery, we can move away from blaming circumstances - or ourselves - and into living the solution. We didn't choose addiction, but we can choose recovery.

Just for today: I choose recovery.

pg. 301

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You are reading from the book Today's Gift.
. ..ere it vanishes
Over the margin
After it, follow it,
Follow The Gleam.
--Alfred, Lord Tennyson
It is difficult to find words for the "Gleam" we pursue. What it is, we are never too sure. We see it best in our daily dreams, while we're staring out a window at nothing at all. Sometimes it appears between the words in a book; it is always sure to be there when we sit alone to write down our own thoughts. We see it in the autumn woods; feel its heavy breathing in ocean waves. It is suddenly a skylark in flight, a falling leaf, a flower we have reluctantly picked. It makes us feel sad but good. It is always luring us on, always beautiful.
Is it love? Success? Peace? It may be any or all of these things, and we may find it through another person, or some talent we have, or a thing of beauty we stumble upon. And it is there within us, always, waiting to be found.
In what ways can I follow the Gleam I see in my life today?


You are reading from the book Touchstones.
We know about remorse and death. But do we know about hope and life? I believe in life after birth! --Maxie Dunham
We do not need to create difficulties and pain in our lives. They come with the package of human existence. Some of us even feel bewildered when we aren't pressed by trouble. As we grew in recovery and our lives became better ordered, many of us thought, "Life seems to be going so well; I wonder what's wrong?" We were more accustomed to remorse and crisis than to joy and serenity.
What lies before us today is an unpainted picture. There are many possibilities for events to take a good turn. This, too, is part of the package, but we must believe and affirm the good things in order to accept them. When our only expectations are pain and trouble, they probably will be our only experiences. However, when we have faith that a better life is possible, we open ourselves to receive it.
Today, I will live with hope for the possibilities and accept the good things that come my way.


You are reading from the book Each Day a New Beginning.
Character contributes to beauty. It fortifies a woman as her youth fades. --Jacqueline Bisset
How common it is for us to be overly concerned with our looks. The culture encourages it through our families, our friends, and the media. Many of us anguished over our looks in years past, and the pain of fading youth haunts some even now.
Perhaps it's time for us to take special note of the women we admire for their achievements. We should emulate them, honor them, and celebrate their particular beauty--a beauty generally enhanced by dignity, perseverance, and courage.
We can cultivate our special interests. They'll contribute to our achievements, which will add depth to our soul--the home of true beauty. Mature persons who acknowledge this true beauty are those we wish to attract into our lives. How fickle is the beautiful face! And even more fickle is the one who can see no deeper.
Youth and its beauty are fleeting. Not so the beauty of the developing character; time strengthens it. The program makes character development not only possible but also simple. Every Step, any Step, offers us an opportunity to take charge of our lives, right now.
I will remember, it's who I am inside that truly counts in the lives of others.


You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go.
Letting Go of Chaos
No good work comes from unrest.
Unrest, fear, anger, or sadness may motivate us. These feelings are sometimes intended to compel action. But our best work emerges after these feelings have been replaced by peace.
We will not accomplish our task any sooner, or any better, by performing it out of a sense of urgency, fear, anger, or sadness.
Let go of unrest. Let peace fill the void. We do not have to forfeit our power, our God given personal power - or our peace - to do the work as we are called upon to do today. We will be given all the power we need to do what we are meant to do, when it is time.
Let peace come first. Then proceed. The task will get done, naturally and on time.
Today, I will get peaceful first, and let my work and life emerge from that base.


I have a quiet place within me where I can rest today, I have a quiet place where I can go that offers peace, comfort and healing. It is as close as this moment.... as close as a breath. This place is mine whenever I want it. --Ruth Fishel

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Journey To The Heart
October 15
Discover the Power of Vulnerability

A new kind of power will emerge from vulnerability. The more honest we are with ourselves about how we feel and what we really think, the more power we will have.

We may have once thought that being powerful meant not giving in to what we felt, what we thought, or who we really were. But that attitude didn’t garner power for us. It caused life, the universe, us to continue creating situations that would help open our hearts, help us to feel, help us learn the lesson of vulnerability.

The sooner we become honest with ourselves, the sooner we can be honest with others. The sooner we become honest with ourselves, the more quickly we’ll grow and move on to a new place. Become vulnerable, at least with yourself. Be honest about what you think and how you feel. Write it. Speak it. Feel it. Release it. Then you will know where to go, when to go. What you are to do next will emerge naturally, quietly, and clearly.

Try being absolutely honest. Reveal your most private feelings to yourself. It’s a new kind of power, a different kind of power. It is spiritual power, the power of opening the heart.

*****

more language of letting go
Look where you're going

"I have the controls!" Rob, my flight instructor said. He grabbed the yoke and turned the little Cessna away from an approaching plane. "Did you see him or hear him on the radio?" Rob asked.

"No," I said. "I was concentrating too much on the flight panel instruments inside to scan outside for other planes."

"The airplane wants to fly," Rob said. "Learn to feel what coordinated flight feels like so you won't need to be glued to the instruments. You need to be looking outside for other aircraft."

Sometimes we get so engrossed in the world inside our heads that we forget to look outside. We can become so involved with the minor details of a project, something we're trying to do, that we don't see the big problem coming at us until it crashes into us. We can get so absorbed in our emotions that we neglect the rest of our lives. We can become so engrossed with our agenda-- trying to get someone to like us, to get that job, to buy that house, or to control an outcome-- that we don't see the warning signs and realize that person, thing, or place might not be good for us.

Learn to feel your life and understand intuitively when you're on the right path. Be aware. Sometimes we can spot potential problems when they're still small and far away. If you can do this, then only minor corrections to your course may be necessary to avoid conflicts down the road.

Remember, the airplane wants to fly, but you've got to keep from hitting anything if you want a safe flight. Relax and look where you're going. That's how you stay on course.

God, help me become aware of danger signals before it's too late.

*****

Finding Answers Within
You Have All the Answers Within You by Madisyn Taylor

When you realize that you always have the answers within yourself, you can stop searching outside of yourself.

Many of us seek the answers to life’s questions by looking outside of ourselves and trying to glean advice from the people around us. But as each of us is unique, with our own personal histories, our own sense of right and wrong, and our own way of experiencing the world that defines our realities, looking to others for our answers is only partially helpful. The answers to our personal questions can be most often found by looking within. When you realize that you always have access to the part of you that always knows what you need and is meant to act as your inner compass, you can stop searching outside of yourself. If you can learn to hear, trust, and embrace the wisdom that lives within you, you will be able to confidently navigate your life.

Trusting your inner wisdom may be awkward at first, particularly if you grew up around people who taught you to look to others for answers. We each have exclusive access to our inner knowing. All we have to do is remember how to listen. Remember to be patient as you relearn how to hear, receive, and follow your own guidance. If you are unsure about whether following your inner wisdom will prove reliable, you may want to think of a time when you did trust your own knowing and everything worked out. Recall how the answers came to you, how they felt in your body as you considered them, and what happened when you acted upon this guidance. Now, recall a time when you didn’t trust yourself and the results didn’t work out as you had hoped. Trusting your own guidance can help you avoid going against what you instinctively know is right for you.

When you second guess yourself and go against what you know to be your truth, you can easily go off course because you are no longer following your inner compass. By looking inside yourself for the answers to your life’s questions, you are consulting your best guide. Only you can know the how’s and why’s of your life. The answers that you seek can be found when you start answering your own questions. Published with permission from Daily OM

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A Day At A Time

Reflection For The Day

All too often I unwittingly — and even unconsciously — set standards for others in The Program. Worse yet, I expect those standards to be met. I go so far, on occasion, to decide what progress other people should make in their recoveries, and how their attitudes and actions should change. Not surprisingly, when things don’t work out the way I expect, I become frustrated and even angry. I have to leave others to God. I have to learn neither to demand nor expect changes in others, concentrating solely on my own shortcomings. Finally, I mustn’t look for perfection in another human being until I’ve achieved perfection myself. Can I even be perfect?

Today I Pray

May God ask me to step down immediately if I start to climb up on any of these high places: on my podium, as the know-it-all scholar,; on my soapbox, as the leader who’s out to change the world; into my pulpit, as the holier-than-thou-could-possibly-be messenger of God; into the seat of judgement, as the gavel-banging upholder of the law. May God please keep me from vesting myself with all this unwarranted authority and keep me humble.

Today I Will Remember

A heavy hand is not a helping hand.

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One More Day

We cannot tear out a single page from our life, but we can throw the whole book into the fire.
– George Sand

During those darkest times, we may not be able to think beyond this moment, this pain, this loss. All we’re aware of is this tiny piece of time, and it casts its darkness on all we remember and all we see in the future.

This moment is a fraction of a lifetime; this feeling is just one perception amoung thousands we’ve experienced. We ow it to ourselves to be sure of what we are experiencing before discarding the entire book in order to rid ourselves of one hated page. If needed, we can explore our emotions with a professional. We can work within a group of people who understand. We can wait a while to see what our lives will hold. We can look for change outside and inside ourselves.

My feelings are real, but so is the chance that better things lie ahead. I pray for patience.

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One Day At A Time

Learning New Ideas
“I can't understand why people are frightened of new ideas.
I'm frightened of the old ones.”
John Cage

When I look back upon my life before I heard of food being a compulsion, I remember my old thinking -- which was not very thoughtful at all! I performed the task of feeding myself without any conscious forethought or planning. It was whatever was in sight, available, or easiest to fix. I never stopped to think why I eat what I eat. I don’t know what I was thinking when I consumed something that I knew would leave me feeling as though I were in a stupor or would send me crashing into naps that lasted hours.

My old ideas were mindless, thoughtless. I was an unhealthy automaton who had never been taught how to think about the “what” and “why” of her food choices. I have learned to listen to others who have recovery, take what I need from their stories, and apply some of their actions to my own life.

One day at a time...
I am willing to put aside old ideas as I discover them, to lay groundwork for the new ideas that have been presented to me, and to continue on a journey of personal growth. My mind is like a garden. I have to pull the weeds so that new flowers can begin to grow.
~ January K.

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AA 'Big Book' - Quote

There are those too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do recover if they have the capacity to be honest. - Pg. 58 - How It Works

Hour To Hour - Book - Quote

Are we remembering the so-called 'good times' right now? How nice a 'high' would be? We use this hour to REALLY think about what got us to this fight for sobriety. It wasn't because we were having a lot of fun!

Help me to think a drink and drug all the way through, not just the high but the hell it leads to.

I Am Not Alone

Today, I know that, with God's help, I can do anything I need to do. When I feel alone or shaken up, I can ask for help within myself and know that it is there. Each of us is ultimately alone. Each of us has to learn our own lessons; that is, what we are here to do. We can't learn anyone else's lessons for them, and learning our own is difficult enough. To plow through my own psyche and face the insecurity and wounds that are there is all that I can handle. To try to live other people's lives for them is to separate myself from God because my first access to God is through and within me.

- Tian Dayton PhD

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

You will be happy to know that the universal law that created miracles has not been repealed.

I am a realist. I count on miracles.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Call before you drink and we will help you stay sober. Call after you drink and you will help us stay sober.

Time for Joy - Book - Quote

I have a quiet place within me where I can go rest today.

I have a quiet place within me where I can go that offers peace, comfort and healing. It is as close as this moment, as close as a breath.

This place is mine whenever I want it.

Alkiespeak - Book - Quote

I realized I had a body which can't tolerate alcohol, which is OK. except that I had a mind that can't leave it alone. I'd always said that I could take it or leave it alone - I couldn't do either. - Doug D.