Alanon/Alateen Dos and Don'ts

[MajestyJo]

DO'S
1. Do remember you are not the only one living with an alcoholic.

2. Do look for help in Alateen/Alanon, AA and other local and community councils on alcoholism.

3. Do learn all you can about alcoholism, a family disease.

4. Do be honest with yourself and others.

5. Do use your talents in ways that interest you.

6. Do develop a sensible attitude about alcoholism.

7. Do remember that not only the alcoholic, but all members of the family are emotionally involved with the disease.

8. Do find someone other than a relative that you can confide in.

9. Do learn to forgive yourself and others -- you only hurt yourself by holding grudges.

10. Do keep your trust in your Higher Power.

11. Do take your own inventory and admit your faults to one person.

12. Do pass on your knoweldge of Alateen/Alanon to others.


DON'TS
1. Don't cover up for the alcoholic and take on responsibilities other than your own.

2. Don't try to make the alcoholic stop drinking -- you can't.

3. Don't argue with an active alcoholic.

4. Don't hide or throw out liquor; more is always available.

5. Don't take it personally when the alcoholic blames you for drinking -- any excuse will do.

6. Don't use drugs or alcohol as a means of escaping the family situation.

7. Don't condemn, judge, or criticize -- remember that alcoholism is a disease.

8. Don't make the alcoholic's problem the number one thing in your life.

9. Don't expect things to get better overnight.

10. Don't expect to change anyone but yourself.

11. Don't allow self-pity to grow inside of you. It will destroy you.

12. Don't over-react to the alcoholic's problem.

[MajestyJo]

1. Do show an interest in everything your husband is doing
2. Do show loving care
3. Do ask their opinion - they love it
4. Do make them feel important
5. Do appear happy and detached
6. Do be cheerful
7. Do cooperate
8. Do be patient
9. Do attend the open meetings
10. Do - 'THINK'

1. Don't bring up the past
2. Don't say "you are a fine example'
3. Don't argue
4. Don't show that you know too much about the program
5. Don't have a martyr's attitude
6. Don't be indifferent
7. Don't be smug
8. Don't nag
9. Don't worry
10. Don't be angry

Looking at this, I see why my marriages didn't work. The "DOS" use to be my don't.

Taken from The First Steps from Al-Anon - The First 35 years of Beginning

Something I posted on another site a few years ago.