Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1

To be alive is to be hungry.

Our appetite for life is good. It keeps us reaching, growing, enjoying, and yearning to fulfill our potential. When our basic needs are satisfied, our hunger propels us to search for more elaborate gratification.

Here is where we often run into trouble. Instead of progressing through the hierarchy of needs to the spiritual level, we get stuck in an attempt to make quantity - more things, more people, and more activity - substitute for quality. And quantity alone is never enough.

It's good that we're hungry. Our appetite motivates us to feed our body in a healthy way and also to feed our mind, heart, and spirit. Our needs pyramid, and our hunger leads us beyond quantity to the quality experiences that fill our emptiness. We read, we share, we love, we pray, we listen, we accomplish, we dance, and we feast on the fullness of life.

Today, I will direct my appetite to quality experiences.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

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February 2

Love "bears all things" and "endures all things." These words say all there is to be said; nothing can be added to them. For we are in the deepest sense the victims and the instruments of cosmogonic "love."
--Carl Jung

Those of us who've fallen in love can never forget the tender adoration of and the seeming perfection of our beloved, nor the complete abandon we felt. Later, when familiarity cleared our vision, we began trying to control the relationship and, of course, our beloved.

To bind them to our will, we wrap our loved ones in ribbons of care and concern. Or, if we are the least bit insecure, we become restrictive and possessive. Yet, as we experience the love of those who are helping us find our way - in recovery and, through them, to the love of God - we come to understand that love must be free. God's love does not insist on fidelity, good taste, or common sense. Why then should we demand more of those we love?

No person is my private possession, no behavior the price of my love.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 3

Attitudes and Limitations

"My greatest limitations," a member said, "are in my mind. Until I came to this group, I wasn't even aware that many of the negative circumstances in my life were the direct result of my distorted attitudes.

"I brought myself a lot of unnecessary misery by thinking it was my responsibility to manage and direct other people's lives. I believed it was solely up to me to make everyone else happy and secure. So I continually placed everyone else's needs first until I didn't know who I was or what I needed for my own happiness and comfort. It's exhausting and insane to try to second-guess everyone. Not only that, it doesn't give me or anyone else credit for being able to think, feel, or act for himself."

Today I will not manage or direct other people's lives, nor will I expect any other human being to fill my inner emptiness. I have the dignity, resources, and responsibility to fulfill my own life just as others have theirs. I will find my own sources of comfort, joy, and peace no matter what others do with their lives and free choices.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

[bluidkiti]

February 4

The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost.
--G. K. Chesterton

Every day we take so much for granted. But we can count certain blessings: a roof over our head, food, clothing, family and friend, freedom, a Higher Power we trust. These things are special. Thinking about them wakes up our happiness. Our recovery program shows us how to be happy. We just have to remember to do what it tells us!

Step Ten helps us wake up our happiness. Each evening, as we think about our day, we can give thanks for the things we love; our recovery, our health, and the special people in our lives. If we spend part of our day thinking about these important areas, we won't lose them.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me make the most of my blessings today.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll tell five people I love that I'm glad to have them in my life. And I'll tell each of them one reason why.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 5

Anyone can get sober . . .
The trick is to stay and to live sober.
--Living Sober

Newcomer

At one meeting someone mentioned having had a slip. He had been back in recovery for three days. No one criticized him; in fact, everyone applauded. To be honest, it makes me think about seeing what it would be like to have a few drinks or a drug again, just for a day or a weekend.

Sponsor

Over the years, I've watched people come and go in recovery. I've been grateful to the people who relapsed and were lucky enough to come back and share their experience. They taught me a lot by talking about how their disease had continued progressing even when they weren't active in it, and about how much more quickly their misery had returned this time. I'm grateful to them for having had the slip for me; now I don't have to risk it. There's a danger in going back out to experiment with controlled using; few who leave ever make it back. This is a life threatening disease. People like us, who depend on using an addictive substance, can die from it. We understand the seriousness of our addictions and have no need to test recovery by trying to use "safely."

Today, I want life - all of it. I embrace my recovery; I stick close to those who know how to stay stopped.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

[Rockinbigdaddy]

Hard times are often blessings in disguise. Let go and let life strengthen you. No matter how much it hurts, hold your head up and keep going. This is an important lesson to remember when you’re having a rough day, a bad month, or a crappy year. Things will unquestionably change – you will not feel this way forever.
Truth be told, sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are the ones your spirit needs most. Your past was never a mistake if you learned from it. So take all the crazy experiences and lessons and place them in a box labeled “Thank You.” You simply can’t feel real happy unless you’ve felt heartache. You can’t have a sense of victory unless you know what it means to fail. You can’t know what it’s like to feel whole until you know what it’s like to feel completely shattered. And you can’t be rebirthed until you’ve passed on from who you used to be.

[bluidkiti]

February 6

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.
--Thomas Merton

The surest way to unhappiness is to concentrate only on ourselves. Nothing will bring on despair quicker than thinking only of our own concerns. Extreme self-centeredness brings alienation from God, from our friends, and loved ones.

The surest remedy is to pray, not for our own comfort, but for God to bless someone else. If self-centeredness is contributing to our unhappiness, focusing some attention on others is the way out. We always get help for the blues by offering a hand to another or accepting a hand ourselves.

I can avoid despair by looking beyond myself.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 7

No man is born into the world whose work is not born with him.
--James Russell Lowell

Our Wise Creator has provided each of us, at birth, with the necessary talents and gifts to make a worthwhile contribution to the world. What we make of those gifts and talents is entirely up to us. We can choose to ignore, and thereby destroy, our innate interests and abilities - or we can choose to pursue them, despite our doubts and fears, and enjoy life to the fullest.

If we wish to use our talents and gifts, we must become aware of those activities and interests we enjoy. Then we must make the effort to explore the opportunities and alternatives available to us. If we do not find a place for our interests and abilities in the world around us, we needn't be discouraged. We can create one. Dedication and perseverance have opened many seemingly closed doors.

TODAY - Am I doing the best with what I've been given? Am I using my capabilities well? If I am not, am I willing to take the necessary action to achieve inner satisfaction?

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

[bluidkiti]

February 8

"Come to the edge," he said. "No, we will fall," they replied. They came to the edge. He pushed them . . . and they flew.
--Apollinaire

Without courage it is virtually impossible to progress along the spiritual path. Courage enables us to face the fears that arise when we go for what we want.

Courage often involves going against conventional wisdom and walking the path alone. It takes courage to give up the high paying job and work part-time while you start your own business on the side. It takes courage to leave an unworkable relationship. It takes courage to face the pain of one's childhood and seek to heal it. In short, it takes courage to be oneself.

People ask, "How can I have courage when I'm afraid?" The answer is clear. Courage is not the absence of fear, but the willingness to move forward in spite of it. When fear comes up in your life, fully feel and experience it. If you try to push it away, it will only expand.

Say to your fear, "I acknowledge you. But as I connect with my higher knowing, I see that you are not in alignment with my true calling. Because I have the courage and the faith to follow my heart, I am moving ahead with my plans in spite of you." Then proceed. Like the actor whose stage fright leaves in the first moments of the play, yours will fade as you actively embrace your own unique destiny - with courage.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

[bluidkiti]

February 9

Seeking strength from others prevents us from finding our own strength.
--Georgette Vickstrom

The principles of this program, the friends we have made here, sponsors, and the contact we have with an ever-available Higher Power afford us valuable strength. However, it's important that we develop our own strength to complement what we look for in others.

Using the tools acquired in this program is a good beginning for cultivating personal strength. It's like growing a garden. We need to tend it daily, nurturing it, discarding the unproductive behaviors like weeds. When we do, we'll discover that the seedlings we're planting at every meeting are taking root and developing blossoms that signal positive growth.

I will be painstaking in nurturing my growth today. My strength will be there when I need it.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 10

Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
--Burton Hillis

The start of a new month is a natural time to take a look at our lives. Are we happy most days? Do we know how to be happy?

We can choose to be happy, no matter what happened in our past or what is going on around us now. But being happy doesn't come naturally to a lot of us. We didn't like ourselves, or our lives, before.

But things are different now. Thanks to our recovery, we are clean and sober and learning to be happy. Being happy starts with the changes in us - being willing to work the steps, to go to any lengths, and deciding to be happy. Today we feel good about ourselves and our lives. We trust that our Higher Power is guiding us to a better life, day by day.

Today help me choose happiness by being grateful for life.

You are reading from the book:

Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

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February 11

No man is more cheated than the selfish man.
--Henry Ward Beecher

When we're selfish, we close off the channels of exchange with others. Not only are we grabbing and holding all the goods or attention we can get, but we are denying others the possibility of sharing with us in the benefits. We may be selfish in material goods, but there are many other ways too. Some of us expect our spouses to meet our needs while we make little effort to meet theirs. Some of us discover our selfishness as we drive, refusing to yield a position to another car or getting furious if we lose a place in heavy traffic.

By contrast, our generosity and welcoming responses nourish the spirit within us and create a good environment for our growth. Sometimes giving does not come easily We have a more generous spirit when we are in touch with our ultimate vulnerability. All of life is fragile, and we need each other to have a good life. We can truly hold on to nothing but ourselves. Giving what we can of our time, our energy, and our goods, helps create the kind of world we want to live in.

Today, I will look for ways to be generous with those with whom I share this world.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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February 12

In life, the difficult periods are the best periods to gain experience and shore up determination. As a result, my mental status is much improved because of them.
--The Dalai Lama

Life is a process of meeting and solving problems. Solving problems is a way that we test and develop our spiritual muscle. Think of outstanding people such as Abraham Lincoln, Mahatma Gandhi, and Helen Keller. Lincoln faced the problem of a divided country; Gandhi, an oppressed India; Keller, her personal handicaps. In rising to meet their vision, courage, fortitude, and compassion, they became great - not in spite of, but because of their problems.

Problems often come to us in the form of crisis. The Chinese glyph for the word crisis contains two symbols; one means danger and the other opportunity. When an obstacle is before you, use it to create a beneficial result. As with Lincoln, Gandhi, and Keller, let your problems bring out your greatness.

Rather than pray for a life that is problem-free, ask for one that is solution-full. Instead of requesting that God remove the mountain before you, seek the strength to climb it. Remember that the best students always get the toughest problems. Love the problems you have, and their priceless gifts will be yours.

You are reading from the book:

Listening to Your Inner Voice by Douglas Bloch

[bluidkiti]

February 13

Recovery is about more than walking away. Sometimes it means learning to stay and deal. It's about building and maintaining relationships that work.
--Beyond Codependency

Problems and conflicts are parts of life and relationships - with friends, family, loved ones, and at work. Problem solving and conflict negotiation are skills we can acquire and improve with time.

Not being willing to tackle and solve problems in relationships leads to unresolved feelings of anger and victimization, terminated relationships, unresolved problems, and power plays that intensify the problem and waste time and energy.

Not being willing to face and solve problems means we may run into that problem again.

Some problems with people cannot be worked out in mutually satisfactory ways. Sometimes the problem is a boundary issue we have, and there is not room to negotiate. In that case, we need to clearly understand what we want and need and what our bottom line is.

Some problems with people, though, can be worked out, worked through, and satisfactorily negotiated. To negotiate problems, we must be willing to identify the problem, let go of blame and shame, and focus on possible creative solutions. To successfully negotiate and solve problems in relationships, we must have a sense of our bottom line and our boundary issues, so we don't waste time trying to negotiate non-negotiable issues.

We need to learn to identify what both people really want and need and the different possibilities for working that out. We can learn to be flexible without being too flexible.

Today, I will be open to negotiating conflicts I have with people. I will strive for balance without being too submissive or too demanding. I will strive for appropriate flexibility in my problem solving efforts.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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February 14

All human failures are the result of a lack of love.
--Alfred Adler

How much easier it is to continue working toward a challenging goal when we're bolstered by the loving support of a favorite person, a spouse, or parent. We'll not succeed at every job or game we attempt - nor should we expect to. For all of us our talents are many, but not total. However, our failures will be fewer and far less devastating when they occur within the context of a life rich with loving human contact.

Those who don't know the comfort of love find their steps and thoughts are haunted by the fear that they don't count - that there is no purpose to their lives. Only by knowing the reality of love can we glimpse the richly textured tapestry of human life, and only then can we feel secure that all is well.

One purpose for our lives is to assure others of their importance to the life pattern that captures us all. And when each of us is committed to that purpose, both the fear and the reality of human failure will be erased.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey