Today's Gift for Families...for July 2014

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Let a joy keep you. Reach out your hands and take it when it runs by.
—Carl Sandburg

There is a song that says joy is like the rain. It comes across our windowpane and then goes away again. When joy comes knocking at our window we can reach out and let it in. Joy comes to us in many ways - through deep laughter, through games played together in a spirit of fun and sharing. Singing together, skating, and being around a campfire are all ways we share joy. Yet joy can also be felt alone.

Each moment of joy we reach for strengthens our spirits. Joyful memories can sustain us through days of long hard work. Like rain, joy comes and goes; yet its nourishment keeps our spirits alive.

How can I share my joy today?

Unfortunately, not feeling too much joy n the moment as I am in a lot of pain. The nice thing is that when I come on line and share on the site, it helps me to get out of the pain.

It is a joy for me to be able to come and share each day.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, July 17, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

When you feel rejected, start accepting yourself, and then go out and accept someone.
—Sondra Ray

There was once a mother who felt rejected when her children grew up and needed to separate from her. She felt hurt when they pushed her away and no longer wanted all the love and caring that she wanted to give them. She thought, What's wrong with me?

Encouraged by her friends, she began to ask herself another question: What's right with me? The more answers she found to that question, the better she liked herself. The better she liked herself, the more she was able to see her children's need to separate from her as their own natural and healthy urge for independence, and not the result of her shortcomings.

Our good points may seem undesirable to others, but that's not our fault. Sometimes, too much of a good thing can be inappropriate, but that doesn't make it bad.

What's right with me today?

If you name it, in today, I would probably have to claim it or give it some deep thought!

[MajestyJo]

Friday, July 18, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
—Thomas Huxley

Sometimes we have good ideas about how to make things better. We might know we need to spend more quality time with others. We might know it would be better if mealtime was not so hectic and really became a time for sharing the day's events. Knowing what needs to happen is part of the process of change. But we have to put that knowledge into action.

All our good intentions, no matter what they may be, do not really mean anything until we move into action. A hug is better than a thought of love; a story read together is better than a wonderful vacation that did not get past the planning stage, just as a finished house is something we can live in, while the blueprint is soon forgotten. When we act on our ideas, we put ourselves into the world as a force for change.

What change can I set loose in the world today?

For me, love and compassion. As the Bible says, "Do onto others as you would have them do unto you."

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, July 19, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Trust takes time. If you don't invest it, then you don't get it.
—Anonymous

Trusting other human beings is like planting a garden. First we must choose where to plant - is the soil healthy, is it open to sunlight? We would not plant seeds on rocks that are hard and un-giving. In the same way, we need to choose friends who are trustworthy, who are like rich soil open to planting and sunlight.

Then we need to plant the seeds of time and care. If we share some of our feelings and are welcomed, we will know it is safe to share more. We can share ourselves in our own time - even a garden grows slowly, and can take only so much sun and rain in one day.

Having trust in someone feeds the spirit. Trust also gives us the courage to be beautiful, like the flowers of our gardens.

Am I brave enough to trust others and to be worthy of their trust?

I was told that trust had to be earned. I trusted until that person proved me wrong and did something to break my trust. In order for me to trust them again, they had to show me that they were trust worthy. I try in today to not do what I did in the past. I don't let one person's actions be the barometer which I applied to all people. Every one is a person onto themselves, and I try not to put everyone under the same umbrella.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, July 20, 2014
You are reading from the book Today's Gift
It is terribly amusing how many different climates of feeling one can go through in a day.
—Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When we travel by canoe down a river we can notice the changes that take place. In one spot the river is wide and the water moves slowly. Around the next bend the river narrows and the current speeds up. Ahead of us we see rapids waiting to test our skill.

Our feelings can also change as quickly as the river. We may have times in our day when we feel good about ourselves. Then, all of a sudden, someone may tease us about something. We begin to feel like the scared canoeist shooting the rapids for the first time. How wonderful it is to know that we are never given a test we can't handle, that everything that happens in our lives is for the sake of our growth, and that we are watched over at all times by God.

How can I use today's obstacles for my own growth?

It shows me that I need my God to lead and guide me through the obstacles.

Quite often an obstacle is rooted in the past and I need to go deeper to find a solution. I need to heal and look how I can learn from my past by seeing what not to do!

So much of recovery is grief work, and obstacles are something we need to acknowledge, process and let go of. Any change is a grieving process.

http://www.childhoodbraintumor.org/i...stics-of-grief

[MajestyJo]

Monday, July 21, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Dependency (on another human being) is the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another.
—M. Scott Peck

No matter what we may think, overdependence on another can be very unloving because it drains others of any chance for personal growth. Those of us who have been dependent on other people are so busy acquiring love that we ourselves have no energy left to truly give love. It's as if we're starving and scrambling for every little bit of love we can find, with no thought to offering it to others. No wonder they often quickly get tired of us.

We can't force or expect others to do things with us, talk to us, or love us. The way to be surely loved is to be worthy of it. We can work at being worthy by exercising our freedom to feel and do things without others' permission, and to allow them the same opportunity.

What can I do on my own today?

Over the years, I have found myself depending too much on my son. I had to plan alternative plans, and call different services that were available, instead of expecting him to do for me.

I had Helping Hands for 8 years. He said, "Don't worry mum, I'll do it for you. As his disease grew, it became a "I'll do it when I feel like it." I don't like the lack of good cleaning practices, so don't want to call them again, but I need to look for an alternative. I am hoping with the physio, I will be able to do more myself.

Over the years, I had to give myself permission to go out for a walk on a sunny day, just because I felt like it. I had to give myself permission to lay down for a nap. I had to learn to listen to my body and look at my motive and intent. Was it good for me or was it a cop out, the way it was when I was in active addiction.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

A good laugh heals a lot of hurts.
—Madeleine L'Engle

The ability to laugh at ourselves has always been important. In old days, fools and jesters held an important place in the royal courts. Today we have clowns who make us laugh.

If we look closely at a clown's face, we will often notice a bit of sadness around the eyes. Clowns are able to move easily from sad expressions to ones full of delight very easily. For all of us, laughter and tears come from the same deep well inside. And often, after a good cry, we find ourselves ready to laugh, easily and joyfully.

Laughter is a gift waiting for us on the other side of our sadness.

Can I begin to laugh by smiling now?

As the Reader`s Digest has been saying for years, `Laughter is the best medicine.`

It does heal, especially when we can laugh at our own antics.

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There is no reality except the one contained within us.
—Herman Hesse

Claude Gellee painted lovely pictures of the English countryside. Europeans loved his landscapes with their blue hues and mild distortions. But when the people went for the carriage rides in the country, they were disappointed because it didn't look the way Gellee had painted it. Then someone discovered that if you held blue glass up to your eyes and looked through it, the trees and hills and sky looked just like a Gellee painting! Soon everyone was looking through "Claude glasses" when they traveled.

We often let others do our seeing for us. We get lazy and rely on the images of television and movies, instead of really seeing with our own eyes. Our world becomes distorted and we lose sight of the natural beauty that surrounds us.

Each of us carries reality inside ourselves, and as we grow stronger within, we discover that we can see clearest when we trust our own eyes. There is a glorious world, full and rich, just waiting for us to glimpse it.

Will I see the world through my own eyes today?

We can see, we are given freedom of choice as to whether we want to be a part of it, set boundaries, and/or detach.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, July 24, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I had crossed the line. I was free; but there was no one to welcome me to the land of freedom. I was a stranger in a strange land.
—Harriet Tubman

Harriet Tubman was a Black woman who devoted her life to helping slaves escape their bondage. In her youth, she had been hit on the head so she suffered dizzy spells for the rest of her life. In spite of this, and at great risk to her own life, she guided many slaves on the Underground Railroad to freedom.

Freedom from slavery is different today but just as necessary. It may mean freedom from being a slave to what others think of us, freedom from eating more than is healthy for us, freedom from jealousy, and freedom from trying to force others to do what we want them to do.

We are free to be the very best persons we can be. Our own freedom can be even more fulfilling when we welcome others enthusiastically into that land of freedom by allowing them the room to be themselves without fear of judgment. In this way, by freeing ourselves, we free one another.

How can I free myself today?

Freedom is another favourite and why I kept coming back. I wanted to be free from my addiction. I wanted to be free to be me.

Addiction blocked my path to my God, I couldn't see Him, all I could see and think of was that next fix. This is not a quick fix program, it is a living program.

As they say in recovery, life doesn't get better, I do!

[MajestyJo]

Friday, July 25, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

He wanted to hold onto his fury, to guard it like a treasure. He would not let it be stolen from him . ... But already, he felt it slipping, softened by Ben's compassionate touch.
—Joe Johnston and Nilo Rodis-Jamero

The glassblower is an artist who takes broken glass and melts it in a very hot furnace. Then the glassblower blows through a long tube and creates objects such as cups and plates and pieces of art.

The sharp edges of our anger are like pieces of broken glass. We all have things in our lives that anger us - it is only human to bump into our sharp edges. One edge might be crabby, another silent and withdrawn, and still another yelling and screaming.

The heat of love and compassion can melt our anger. This may take the form of sympathy for ourselves, or for the people we love. More often, it is the compassion of those around us that helps melt our anger. Sometimes saying I'm sorry is a good way to melt anger and find the love underneath it.

What beauty can I create with my anger today?

When I got angry prior to recovery, it was an ugly thing to see or being the recipient. In today, I can express myself in a healthy, and the hissy fits are few and far between. As they say in the rooms of recovery, when I get angry, I need to focus on myself instead of the person.

In early recovery I saw my friend's ex-husband who abuse her and her son. I stood at the light totally paralyzed by my rage. I had gone out to get pop and chips, and went home and asked my guests to leave. I wasn't able to speak about it, and it wasn't my story to tell. I had to process. What a difference, one day can make. I stayed sober and didn't have to use, now that is something beautiful.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, July 26, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Isn't it great life is open-ended!
—Brigitte Frase

Elizabeth Lawton, known as "Grandma Layton," is an American artist who never drew a picture until she was sixty-eight years old. She spent all the years before that time trying to cope with depression. She had gone through therapy, medications, and shock treatment and continued to be severely depressed. But then she signed up for an art class and the act of drawing cured her depression. She continues to make fabulous pictures.

What does she think about the critical acclaim her artwork has received? She says she wants others to know about her art so it may give hope to those who have also "suffered from feelings."

Many of us have suffered from feelings. We must remember that we can each turn to our creativity - at any age - as a source for our well-being. All we need to do is have faith in the potential goodness within ourselves and those we love.

What creative activity can I look to for comfort today?

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, July 27, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

In summer I am very glad
We children are so small,
For we can see a thousand things
That men can't see at all.
—Laurence Alma-Tadema

Out behind the house a little boy is turning over stepping-stones, which form the sidewalk. Underneath these stones he has discovered many different kinds of worms and bugs. They wiggle this way and that when their cover is removed. He is only four, but he is the only one in the family who has made this discovery.

In a child's eyes there are many wonderful things, which escape the attention of the adult world. In order to see them, we must often take the time to let those younger than us show the way. Even though we may have lost our own childlike view of the world, others can guide us and thereby enrich our lives. We have much to teach and share with each other, regardless of our ages.

What can I learn from one younger than me today?

The Bible says a child will lead them. I know that a newcomer teaches me that it is not any better out there and I have no desire to go and do research for myself.

The fact that I am older than dirt and 23 years is a long time ago, it is good to listen to see if I forgot anything. I use to say that I have for gotten more than you will ever know. That was and is major ego. Needed an attitude adjustment on that one. I have met people with 3-5 years clean and sober who work a better program than many who have over 20 years of recovery. So many forget where they come from and they sit in the same place and do not grow. They have a closed mind and not open to new awareness and experiences.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, July 28, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

One law for lion and ox is oppression.
—William Blake

What would the forest be like if deer, squirrel, and owl alike were required to sleep only at noon? Or the sky, if all birds were forced by law to fly in lines? Or the sea, if all fish had to stay forever in schools? We all know a lion and an ox, and we've all acted like a chicken, jackass, goat, or fox. Now and then we're slow or fast, bright or dull, willing or not.

So when others go the way we know we must go, we will follow the same law. But we don't have to be as others are, just to avoid being thought "strange." How truly strange life would be if everyone were the same. We have our own way, our own good time, and own free laws to discover and obey.

Will I need to obey someone else's rules if I govern myself well?

This is difficult for me, always had a problem with authority. I want to say, `Who died and made you God!` I can understand group and company rules, but that isn`t about imposing your will on another. We are all individuals and are given freedom of choice. The best is to agree to disagree.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

A good marriage is that in which each appoints the other guardian of his solitude.
—Rainer Maria Rilke

Solitude is vital to our well being, but in a family it's hard sometimes to find the space and time to be alone. The house is often crowded with laughter, voices, the radio, and the TV. There are often many things going on at the same time.

It's true that our family is a team, and that we work together, whether we intend to or not, to create the environment we live in. If it's noisy, that's the way we live. Noise is life to some. The fact that others need our help or company is wonderful proof of our value. But if we can be guardians of each other's solitude, out of love for one another, we will each come back renewed, strengthened, and recreated. We can bring new life into our days when we are alone with God and ourselves.

How can I help someone find rest and renewal today?

One by talking to them and sharing your own experience, strength, and hope. Two, pray with them. We are powerless over people, places, and things. Three, tell them to listen to their body. Suggest healthy choices that will make them whole, instead of fragmented and frustrated, help them to find emotional sobriety (soundness of mind).

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

The hopeful man sees success where others see failure, sunshine where others see shadows and storm.
—O. S. Marden

When wise men say, "Hope springs eternal," they are reminding us that no matter how great are the obstacles, the hope of winning out in the long run still exists. Hope is our friend when all else has failed. When we have strength of character and an energetic mind, hope always flourishes.

We discover that, at the very brink of despair, we will find courage to keep trying as long as there is hope for success. After all, what have we got to lose? Without hope, we have no chance, anyway. Our chance for glory comes when we keep trying even though all seems lost. Our hearts remain strong and brave when hope reminds us that challenges last until a game is over.

What light of hope can I keep burning within me today?

Have hope for myself, what I keep losing hope that my son will choose to live. When he has a health issue, he refuses to go and see about it and says, I don't care. So I am an addict and an alcoholic, who cares, big deal!

My hope is in prayer. I have to remember to put it before my negative thoughts.