Today's Thought - December

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December 16

Where there is fear, we lose the way of our spirit.

~Mahatma Gandhi

We don't like to admit that we are afraid. But when we won't admit the feeling, we can't deal with it. By denying our fears, we don't get stronger, we weaken ourselves. Denying fear doesn't get rid of problems, it only reinforces them. In the end, if we don't handle fear well, it rules us.

Fear is a universal human emotion, and we cannot eradicate it. We must learn how to handle the hot coals of fear. When we learn how, they don't have to be destructive. Handling fear begins with self-knowledge. We first learn that the unsettling feeling we have may be fear. Our desire to run away, or the tight knot in our gut, may be fear. That admission to ourselves can be followed by talking about it to a friend or a sponsor. Sometimes just speaking the fear out loud to someone we trust is enough to put it back in perspective. We have handled it.

Today, I will notice my feelings and respond to feelings of fear in constructive ways.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones: More Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 17

If you play with a thing long enough, you will surely break it.

~Anonymous

Some things shouldn't be played with. Our recovery program is one of these things. When we play with our program, we're taking a risk. We play with the program by missing meetings, or by not calling our sponsors, or by skipping the Steps we think are too hard. When we do these things, we risk our lives.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect.
Action for the Day

Today I'll make two lists. On one list, I’ll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I'll write ways I play with my program. I'll focus on putting my energy into working the program.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple: Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal*

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December 18

Successful, healthy relationships allow for both people to form a bond which lets them not only grow together but also grow independently as people.

~Mara Opperman

If we expect our romantic partner to meet all our needs, we're bound to be disappointed. No matter how rewarding that relationship might be, we need other people in our lives, too: friends, relatives, and others who share particular interests with us. No one person can speak to all the aspects of our lives. Still, we might wish we could lose ourselves in a romantic closeness, as we once lost ourselves in addiction and codependency. Then we get hurt and angry when the impossible doesn't happen. Or we fail to understand that our partner's perspectives and reactions are different from our own.

An intimate relationship will always be a mixture of fascination, mystery, frustration, and new understandings. When we realize we cannot merge with our partner, we will be better able to meet as separate, individual people, and our relationships will become vastly more peaceful.

Thanks to God for the differences among us. Let me learn more about them and accept them.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones: A Book of Daily Meditations for Men*

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December 19

Believing in change

At first, drugs or booze turned us on; later they turned on us. We couldn't find any peace anywhere. We began turning into the kind of person we didn't want to be, but we didn't know what was happening to us or how to change.

When we came to believe that our lives could and would turn around if we quit drinking or using, things began to get better.

Do I believe I can change?

Higher Power, help me to be open-minded and humble enough to believe that what has worked to change the lives of others will work to change mine.

Today I will seek change by...

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day: Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts*

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December 20

Work the Program

The ship was pretty tough on me being in recovery, and I think that's something unique to the Navy. The problem was meetings were at night, after normal working hours. And on a ship as an air traffic controller, my primary working hours were at night. So that didn't work out very well.

What the ship taught me was pretty simple - I had to work the program, and I couldn't just go to meetings for a solution. I had to separate the meetings and the people from the program.

If I did the program (meaning the Steps) - if I prayed, if I did all the things that I'm supposed to do, I could stay sober.

Day by day, my recovery program entails a spiritual program.

~Joe H., U.S. Navy, 1988–2015

Today's reading is from the book Leave No One Behind: Daily meditations for Military Service Members and Veterans in Recovery*

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December 21

Winter

In her beautiful book Wintering: The Power of Rest and Retreat in Difficult Times, Katherine May notes that winter is "a time for libraries, the muffled quiet of bookstacks and the scent of pages and dust." I absolutely concur, although since the pandemic, I've spent winters in my home library, not the public library. Winter, more than any other season, is when I dig in to reading and writing and the work of recovery (which, for me, is in large part a lot of reading and writing).

When the days start getting shorter and colder, I give myself permission to get out the flannel sheets and fuzzy pajamas, the dark hot chocolate and a puzzle, and wood for our fireplace. It's in my winter cocoon that I feel drawn to look inward, less distracted by beaches and barbecues. I recover during every season, of course. But winter provides the perfect setting for the solitude that I need to really investigate where I am on my journey. Journaling, reading, and healing beside a crackling fire is magical. Try it sometime.

Winter invites us to retreat into our recovery; I accept the invitation gladly.

Today's reading is from the book She Recovers Every Day: Meditations for Women*

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December 22

Reflection for the Day

Since I came to recovery, I've become increasingly aware of the Serenity Prayer. I see it in recovery literature, on the walls of meeting rooms, and in the homes of newfound friends. "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." Do I understand the Serenity Prayer? Do I believe in its power and repeat it often? Is it becoming easier for me to accept the things I cannot change?
Today I Pray

May the words of the Serenity Prayer never become mechanical for me or lose their meaning in the lulling rhythms of repetition. I pray that these words will continue to take on new depths of significance as I fit life's realities to them. I trust that I may find the solutions I need in this prayer, which, in its simplicity, encompasses all of life’s situations.
Today I Will Remember

Share the prayer.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time: Daily Reflections for Recovering People*