Sharing and Caring - ESH

[MajestyJo]

"Ask Your Body For Advice"

"The body has its own way of knowing, a knowing that has little to do with logic, and much to do with truth, little to do with control, and much to do with acceptance, little to do with division and analysis, and much to do with union."

-- Marilyn Sewell

Are you aware of your body’s wisdom? Our bodies usually know us better than our minds do. If you have a decision to make, consult your body before making a final choice.

Reflect on an option before you and then pay attention to your body. Are you breathing deeply or barely at all? Are your muscles tense or relaxed? Is your energy blocked or flowing?

Your body knows what it likes and it feels good when it's happy. As your body is the source of your vitality, your motivation, your inspiration and enthusiasm and most importantly, your intuition, it's best to get that part of you on-side if you are venturing into a new activity.

"When you are saying that you are happy and you are not, there will be a disturbance in your breathing. Your breathing cannot be natural. It is impossible."

-- Osho

"Our inner guidance comes to us through our feelings and body wisdom first -- not through intellectual understanding. ...The intellect works best in service to our intuition, our inner guidance, soul, God or higher power -- whichever term we choose for the spiritual energy that animates life."

-- Christiane Northrup

from Higher Awareness (used with permission)

So often we judge ourselves and compare ourselves to others. Listening to my body is so important, when I don't, I make my life so much more difficult. When it says rest, eat, exercise, etc. I know I should do. I don't always, like today, I talked myself out of going out for several hours. I was glad I listened, by the time I made up my mind, I was glad I didn't go because of the Santa Claus Parade yesterday.

I still have a problem with having a Christmas Parade in November.

[MajestyJo]

JUST FOR TODAY!

Within

from: "Source of Strength"

"I need power each day, because I get weary. But with A.A. as my structure and God as my source of strength, I can face life without taking a drink. I don't have to stare out my window in total despair any more. The ocean and the sun and the trees and all the fantastic beauty that God has created have finally become very real to me. I crave and need the presence of nature. But I must also bear in mind that it is the spirit within me, which comes from God, that is going to be the healing force."

© 1973, Came to Believe..., page 103

= The Hoffelds

JUST FOR TODAY:

For me, when I surrendered and said, "My way isn't working, the Spirit was given to me and it was my believe that it was there, the trusting in that new source of power, and my continual feeding of the Spirit which allowed it to grow. It became a Source so much more powerful than I could have ever imagined, and it has been my mainstay through all tribulation.

The Spirit is there, the Light is within, it is whether I choose to smother it, or nurture it within my soul as to how much it can do for me, one day at a time.

[MajestyJo]

Tonight I saw a friend at a meeting who is just coming back into the rooms. He is at the local mission and the last time I saw him at a meeting he was in detox. I have known this fellow for 13 years, he was in NA when I came into the rooms.

It doesn't matter what fellowship he has come back to after a relapse, I have been there. The last time I saw him was at an AA Twleve Step meeting and an open Speaker Meeting in AA over a year ago. Tonight it was at a CA meeting where they use AA literature.

I have never used Crack/Cocaine yet I am an addict who used alcohol and prescription drugs. I never used Crack and Cocaine, because they were never in front of me. Crack/Cocaine is his drug of choice and he is new to CA and I hope this time he will stay.

My recovery started in AA and have gone to NA when required for identification, and I have only been a member of a Women's CA Group since June of this year.

They say we are where we are suppose to be, and this proved very true for me. I came to this fellowship as a result of a 15 month relationship with a fellow who had 5 years clean. I had thought of leaving and giving him his space, yet when I have things like this happen, I tend to take it as a message that I am where I am suppose to be.

I qualify for all the programs, I am an addict and an alcoholic, and I have gone where I have been led.

CA says "and all other mind altering substance" and believes in complete abstinence from "all" substances in order to be clean and sober. Sobriety for me means soundness of mind. You can't smoke pot and take pills and have soundness of mind, although I have heard some people say they have had a spiritual experience smoking pot! Yeah right!!! All the more power to them! This same guy fell off a sixth floor balcony, became paralyzed from the waist down and died from an overdose. He was at his home meeting in AA on Sunday and was found dead by his girlfriend on Monday morning.

How many 'pure' alcoholics are there today! Gambling, work, food, and other substances seem to be substitutions that take people back to the same soul sickness of their addiction and are taken back to their drug of choice.

A woman who was a big example in my early recovery, went to meetings in a wheel chair. She had to be carried into the meetings. She died falling down stairs in her wheel chair, as a result of being stoned on pot.

I am not saying this is all people in AA. I am just saying that we need to get back to some basics. To use is to die. Bill and others confessed to be addicted to other substances (Doctor, Alcoholic, Addict) and if they realized they needed to stay clean, why do alcoholic in today justify their behaviour. I know it is a disease of denial. Yet I keep hearing about how the success rate of recovery has dropped and they seem to question why? When we look at the success rate of the earlier recruits into AA, what are we not doing in today?

Posted in 2004

[MajestyJo]

Recovery was a big part of my life, and for many years the center as you say. A lot depended on what was happening in my life at the time. When I wasn't in a relationship, when I was breaking up a relationship, then I got involved in service.

Being on disability has prevented me from getting out and having a job because I am not able to work more than about three hours a day, and those hours are never at the same time every day. The internet has allowed me a place to share my recovery, when I can't get out to meetings.

For many years people would say, what do you do for fun. My response was I enjoy talking to people and sharing recovery. I know a lot of people don't feel that way, but that is not what I am talking about basics. I am saying that people take and don't give back. I will be forever grateful for the people who where there for me, who took time to show me the way. I hope I never come to a place in my life that I am so caught up in busy I don't have time for anyone else. Without recovery, I wouldn't have busy.

How come the relapse rate is so high in today, is it because there are so many other substances out there which people use as a substitute of alcohol, which takes them back to their drug of choice. I have heard so many people say, "Well if I hadn't picked up that beer, I would never have gotten into the crack."

Why do alcoholics and addicts like to continue beating themselves up.

It is simple, don't use, don't pick up, just for today, no matter what. Get honest, clean house, and help others.

KISS - Even when they change it to Keep it Simple "Sweetheart" from Stupid, that still makes it a bit hard to swallow, too cutesy for me.

The same goes for "Keep Coming Back!" How about Keep coming so you won't have to come back or Keep coming back to meetings, so you won't have to go back out there!

Have times really changed? The program remains constant. It is the people who change.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Today's Gift (March 6, 2010)

This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow.
—Hyemeyohsts Storm

There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.

Without his sight, defenceless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendour around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."

Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.

How can I look at things differently today?

Liked this because it mentions a mouse, which according to Jamie Sams, means scrutinize. Look at where you are at, look at what is happening in your life, look at the direction your life is heading, look at whether you want to keep going that way or take a detour or a different route.

When I stay clean and sober, I can better stay in reality. Sometimes reality sucks, but being honest with myself, helps me to heal and grow. Honesty is what I need for living and working Step 10 into my life.

[MajestyJo]

From time to time, I will share my own personal awareness on a topic and the gift that has been given as a result of working my program. It is just my experience, strength and hope, and isn't meant to represent any one fellowship. It is my truth, not someone else's or my interpretation of what I heard or read.

From Alkie Speaks:

I realized I had a body which can't tolerate alcohol, which is OK. except that I had a mind that can't leave it alone. I'd always said that I could take it or leave it alone - I couldn't do either.

- Doug D.

Because I had a high tolerance for alcohol, I thought I wasn't an alcoholic. I labelled my dad and my ex-husband as alcohlics because they passed out, fell down, staggered, were violent, couldn't walk or drive a straight line. I once said to my dad, "You drove in that condition?" He had just come from his girlfriend's. He looked at me and said, "Well I certainly couldn't walk and proceeded to fall flat on his face and I had to help him to bed.

The reality was that I could match them drink for drink, drive them home, function and resented them for drinking all the booze, before they passed out. I wanted to party and there wasn't much for me. That is when I started hiding my booze. I couldn't have consumed all that liquor and been sober although I never saw myself as drunk. There was only a couple of times that I recall taking the stairs on my hands and knees.

When I saw myself in my dream, because I was wearing red high-heeled shoes and walking a straight line, I was sober. Then I saw myself in living colour and saw the person I changed into when I did drink. It wasn't what or how much I drank. It was what it did to me when I did drink it.

[MajestyJo]

I have found for the most part, most people don't want to hear.

My evening meditation cards:

"Enlightenment is seeing the unseen itself, and in this there is no seeing and no seer - only beginningness, endless calm."

ATISA DIPANKARA SHRIJNANA (980-1054)

"HE WHO DOES HIS DUTY IS TOLERANT LIKE THE EARTH, FIRM AS A PILLAR AND CLEAR AS A LAKE: NO FURTHER BIRTHS WILL BE IN STORE FOR SUCH A ONE.

DHAMMAPADA (1ST CENTURY BC)

"THERE IS ONLY ONE MOMENT IN TIME WHEN IT IS ESSENTIAL TO AWAKEN. THAT MOMENT IS NOW."

ATTRIBUTED TO THE BUDDHA (C.563BC-C.483BC)

"IF WE CAN BE WISE, AFTER LISTENING TO THE LAWS WE BECOME SERENE, LIKE A DEEP, SMOOTH, STILL LAKE."

DHAMMAPADFA (1ST CENTURY BC)


FROM: The Buddhist Prayer Deck

[MajestyJo]

One of my favourite sayings and I have seen it happen so many times. I am grateful for the people who did the research for me so that I didn't have to go back out and discover for myself. Once I found what I wanted here, I stayed.

Quote:
"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

If you fail to change the person you were when you came in, that person will take you out!

As the slogan says, "If nothing changes, nothing changes."

It makes me sad when I hear people say, I have been doing things this way for 10, 20, 30.... years and it has stood me in good stead, why should I change now. Why wouldn't you want to change it if it brought you to your bottom and you want to learn to live clean and sober?

[MajestyJo]

So glad that this is a one day at a time program. The new awareness and experience along the way and the many blessing that have happened as a result of working the program.

One of the reasons I went back to school in 2001, was that I became aware that I was so involved in service, taking the newcomers in the group through the Big Book and the Twelve Steps and Traditions, that I was again, focusing on people, places, and things outside of myself, and not always looking at me and my issues. One of the things I did was go to an out-of-town meeting with a friend that I volunteered with at the jail. Her husband would come and pick me up, they lived in Dundas, just outside of the city and drive me to Burlington, which was another city, which was part of our cities for a meeting.

I need to be at a place where I wasn't giving and was in a meeting where I could top myself up. Giving is good, it is good to get out of Self, but when I exclude myself to look after others, it takes my life out of balance. Like in today, my son doesn't see me as working or doing anything when I am on the computer. As much as I tell him it is my lifeline, he chooses not to see it. That is not surprising considering the fact that he is still using, and he often uses me if I don't set up boundaries.

Putting someone else down to make myself feel better, isn't my idea of recovery and the kind of recovery I want for myself. I know I have health issues, many in fact, but the good news is I don't have to use in order to deal with them, unless my coming to the boards is an addiction. Truthfully, at one time it was. It wasn't so much the boards as the computer, and me again, getting out of self, and not looking at myself. The difference today, is that it is my only Source of Recovery contact. In the last 6 months I have not been to a f2f meeting. I can't go out in the night air, and with my cough, it is annoying to me, let alone the people around me.

I special thanks to those who I have met on this site who have send me private messages.

My spiritual adviser told me many years ago, "You have a message that people do not want to hear. Don't worry, it is their denial." I had to laugh when one guy said he doesn't read my posts. That is OK, I didn't post for him. I post for myself and my healing, with the hope that there is someone out there who is helped as a result of my sharing.

I know that I suffer from chronic pain, but when it flares up and I get several messages in a day, I know it is my emotions or something I am doing or thinking, which is causing the pain. What I really need to guard is taking on someone else's pain, especially when people don't want to help themselves, they project there stuff onto me.

These were posted on another site, hope they aren't duplicates of what I have posted here.

[MajestyJo]

The Rules For Being Human

Cherie Carter-Scott

1)You will receive a body.

You may like it or hate it, but it will be yours for the entire period of time around.

2)You will learn lessons. You are enrolled in a full-time school called Life.
Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant or stupid.

3)There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Growth is a process of trial and error: Experimentation.

The "failed" experiments are as much a part of the process as the experiment that ultimately "works."

4)A lesson is repeated until learned.

A lesson will be presented to you in various forms until you have learned it, you can them go on to the next lesson.

5)Learning lessons does not end.

There is no part of life that does not contain it's lessons.

If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

6)"There" is no better than "here".

When you are "there" has become a "here", you will simply obtain another "there" that will again look better than "here".

7)Others are merely mirrors of you.

You cannot love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

8)What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

9)Your answers lie inside you. The answers to Life's questions lie inside you. All you need to do is look, listen, and trust.

10)YOU WILL FORGET ALL THIS.
How true! This was something I didn't want to allow myself. People repeatedly seemed to be saying, "Well you are only human you know!" That wasn't acceptable to me. I could not always be perfect and right but I felt that it was my job in recovery to be the best me I could be each day. I didn't always live up to my expectations and I learned not to beat myself up for falling short of who and what I wanted to be, and yet I felt better within me for having tried.

Before recovery, I didn't try. I had given up on life and I got to the stage where I was sick and tired of being tired and sick. I have been back there a few times since then and it is not a good place to be. Thank God for this program.

[MajestyJo]

When I came through the doors of recovery, I wasn't too sure I was glad to be alive. For several long weeks it had been stop the world, I want to get off.

It talks about being human, and I didn't feel very human or humane. When you live in a room in the YWCA there are not too many places around that look much better than here, when all the places are the same, except maybe neater or with more stuff. Which is what life is all about, we look a the surface and look at what we don't have rather than what we do have.

Welcome to the journey of recovery.

So glad you share this journey with me. We can do what I can't do alone. Without you, there is no me. I thank you for being a part of my recovery.

[MajestyJo]

Pocket Sponsor - Book - Quote

Did you know that the word 'share' derives from the Old English word for 'shear' which means to cut or divide? To share with others means to divide your burden. Each time you share, you leave another little piece of the weight of your burden with them.

By sharing, I divide; by dividing, I lighten my load.

Have always loved this concept. It doesn't matter what substance you use, be it people, places, and things, we all have needs, emotions, and feelings that we need to share.

My sponsor use to say, if you take it to a meeting and there are 10 people there, you only have to take a 1/10 of it home.

It is not only healing for me to share. I have had people come and after a meeting and thanked me for what I said because it helped them. I share because I care. Hopefully, if anyone out there is going through what I have been going through, we can share the journey together, knowing we are not alone.

[MajestyJo]

As we get older, we learn some truths:

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I'm
pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment
at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything
productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research
paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never
wash this - ever.

15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dang!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop thephone and run away?

16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I
know not to answer when they call.

18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday
or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller-Lite than Kay.

20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was
younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was
going on when I first saw it.

22. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm
trying to finish a text.

24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you
just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand
a word they said?

26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent an ass from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never
get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber
every year?

29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure
you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate
drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always
hate cyclists.

31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the
snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

LIFE IS SHORT
MAKE FUN OF IT

CONTINUED...

[MajestyJo]

In early recovery, I can remember bemoaning all the years that I wasted. All the years that I stayed in my denial about being the 'one' with the problem. My life was full of 'if only`s' and would have/could have/should haves.

Now that I am growing older, it took me a while to get to that stage of acceptance too. I never felt old, not realizing that in many ways, I didn't grow up. Now I have to accept that I am growing older and I can't do what I use to do.

I was told in treatment to get in touch with myself and my inner child. I had no concept. I am not sure if it was because nothing special, just same old, same old, positive happened and I didn`t remember, whether I just blocked things out and closed this down because of seeing my brother killed when I was 3.

I told a friend and she said, `What do you mean, you are just one big kid who never grew up.` Maybe she was right, I certain feel young in spirit most days.

[MajestyJo]

After a NA meeting, I walked uptown with some members and a guy from the eastern provinces asked how old I was. He told me that you must have found the Fountain of Youth. I said, `No I am just well preserved in alcohol.`

I didn't think I was going to live to be 40 because that was the age my mother passed away. She didn't drink or smoke. Her problem was food. Her food addiction killed her. She used food to deal with my father's alcoholism and life in general. My father died at the age of 66 from his disease.

I am certainly living overtime. For today I am grateful I made it to old age although I have gone kicking and fighting all the way.

Staying clean and sober gave me back my life.

A friend sent me the following link. It scares me, I'm not sure I want to live for another 33 years. Thirty-three wasn't a good year for me, that is the age I got married for the second time.

My query said I was going to live for another 8 years. I will be 79 years old. Wouldn`t want to put things on hold, waiting for things to happen and the moments to pass away!

http://www.deathclock.com/