Today's Thought - December

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December 1

Becoming patient

Let us not rush and demand perfection all at once; it would only blind us. If we are impatient, it is impossible to work a daily program; but if we are patient, we can learn to see our daily opportunities for growth.

We can’t develop a new relationship with our Higher Power overnight. It is worth waiting for, striving for. Let us not go too fast but simply count each day as an opportunity.

Am I learning patience?

Higher Power, I pray that I may be patient as I work my program and develop a relationship with you.

Today I will practice patience with…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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December 2

Reflection for the Day

Today I will take the time to list the positive aspects of my new life and the blessings that accompany the miracles of my recovery. I will be grateful for the seemingly simple ability to eat normally, to fall asleep with a feeling of contentment, to awaken with a gladness to be alive. I will be grateful for the ability to face life on life’s terms—with peace of mind, self-respect, and full possession of all my faculties. On a daily basis, do I count my blessings? Do I seek through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with my Higher Power—as I define and understand it?
Today I Pray

On this day of love giving, may I count all the good things in my life and give thanks for them. May I take no blessing for granted, including the beating of my own heart and the fresh feel of new air as I breathe.
Today I Will Remember

To count—and consider—my blessings.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People

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December 3

Our happiness doesn’t depend on a loved one’s sobriety.

What we do with our lives is not dependent on what others do with theirs. We come into the program expecting to learn how to help our loved ones stop using. That’s our primary goal. What a jolt to discover that it hasn’t happened for some who share our circle. And they come to meetings anyway. More than that, they seem to be leading happy lives. At first we wonder how.

We are guaranteed happiness too. We are enmeshed with our loved ones only because we have never understood separateness. Our boundaries have been blurred. But the guidance of sponsors and the wisdom we’ll gain from the meetings will show us how to disengage from others. Our first step toward the happiness we’re promised is to give up our attempts to control anyone but ourselves.

I have my own dreams, my own goals. To fulfill them, I must turn my attention away from others and on to me. I can’t make anyone else’s life my dream.

Today's reading is from the book A Life of My Own, Meditations on Hope and Acceptance

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December 4

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.

~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

It has been said that intuition is a talent of women, but in this program we, as men, are learning to listen to our own inner feelings. This strength has nothing to do with gender. Many times we have a quiet inner knowing of something, but in the past we developed an insensitivity to these messages. Our growing self-respect includes the ability to stand up for what simply feels right. We don’t have to prove anything to ourselves. If we dismiss our own private feelings, all we have left to go on is someone else’s idea of reality.

This realm of inner feeling is the realm of wisdom. It is the creative part, the mysterious part, the spiritual part. It is the foundation of honesty with ourselves. In these quiet moments, we are more able to perceive what we know in our hearts. As we grow, we respect and trust it more.

Help me respect my private messages from within.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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December 5

Times of Reprogramming

Do not ask for love unless you’re ready to be healed enough to give and receive love. Do not ask for joy unless you’re ready to feel and release your pain, so you can feel joy. Do not ask for success unless you’re ready to conquer the behaviors that would sabotage success.

Wouldn’t it be nice if we could imagine ourselves having or becoming—and then immediately receiving—what we wanted? We can have and be the good things we want. All good things are ours for the asking. But first, groundwork—preparation work—must be done.

A gardener would not plant seeds unless the ground was adequately prepared to nurture and nourish those seeds. The planting would be wasted effort. It would be wasted effort for us to get what we wanted before we were ready.

First, we need to become aware of our need or desire. This may not be easy! Many of us have become accustomed to shutting off the inner voice of our wants, needs, and desires. Sometimes, life has to work hard to get our attention.

Next we let go of the old “programming”—the behaviors and beliefs that interfere with nurturing and nourishing the good. Many of us have strong sabotaging programs, learned from childhood, that need to be released. We may need to “act as if” for a while until the belief that we deserve the good becomes real.

We combine this process with much letting go, while we are being changed at the core. There is a naturalness to this process, but it can be intense. Things take time. Good things are ours for the asking, if we are willing to participate in the work of groundbreaking. Work and wait.

Today, God, give me the courage to identify the good I want in my life and to ask for it. Give me also the faith and stamina I need to go through the work that must be accomplished first.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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December 6

Fate chooses our relatives. We choose our friends.

~Jacques Delille

Dealing with family-of-origin issues is often extremely painful for recovering adult children. All of us want to be accepted and loved by our own biological families. Some of our deepest wishes and favorite fantasies feature ourselves as loved and loving members of some healthy, whole, all-American family system. All too often, that was not and is not the case. If we have to accept that, then so be it.

That’s the time we should acknowledge that our real families are made up of the people who love us, whether they are relatives or not. Rather than mourn for what isn’t, when family times roll around, we have the option to connect with the spiritual, functioning “family” of loved ones who want and need us to celebrate with them. The program is filled with people who will love us if we let them.

No recovering person need ever be without a family; like hearts bind tighter than like genes.

Today, I am grateful for the healing presence of my friends.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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December 7

Those people are earthbound. They heap too many goods. They have not learned the trail of beauty.

~Laura Adams Armer

If we want to walk the trail of beauty, we are better off bringing a backpack than a moving van to carry our stuff. We need to travel light. The point is, stuff—things, belongings—can tie us down if we become too attached. We can pass up wonderful adventures because we can’t let go of stuff.

There are some things we need, of course. And it’s okay to have more than we need as long as it doesn’t get in the way of our lives. Our lives are for loving and learning and serving others, not for taking care of our things. When our things take too much of our time and energy, we have too much.

We can do with our stuff what we do with our thoughts and our feelings—look them over, see if they still work for us, and decide whether to keep them or let them go.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I don’t want to get stuck in my emotional, mental, or physical stuff. Help me sort through it and keep only what adds service or beauty to my life.
Today's Action

I will think for a few minutes about how I think and feel about having my own things. What things are important to me? Why? I will talk with someone about this topic and listen to how it is for that person, too.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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December 8

Feeling is the inner life; expression is the outer life.

~Alexander Lowen

There’s a connection between our ability to feel, our ability to express our feelings, and our ability to let go. There are probably many painful emotions we learned to suppress when we were young, particularly anger or sadness. Other emotions might be difficult to feel because they’re connected to past pain, especially about childhood abuse or acting out in our addiction.

Yet there’s no letting go, no moving on, until we stop trying to avoid feelings such as sorrow, anger, rage, or despair. One way to begin working through difficult feelings is to reach out to people with a phone call or by attending a meeting. Other ways are to write, have a good cry, or plan a healing ritual, such as a couple of days alone thinking. We can also remember to turn to our Higher Power for the spiritual help we need.

The inner release that comes from expressing our feelings will help ease the pain. We can’t let go of the past all at once, but we can let go of a little piece today.

If I’m hurting today, I can reach out for the healing of the program. I will give myself the same compassion I would give another person who is suffering.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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December 9

Trusting Others

The three Ts of gratitude to repay the program for our recovery: our TIME, our TALENT, our TRUST.

~Anonymous

In our recovery, we are building trust in others and in ourselves. For the first time in our lives, we know that we can reveal ourselves completely to others without fear of being put down. When we get stuck with negative thoughts, it is important to find the strength of sharing with others in the program.

At the same time, we are aware that others are placing trust in us not to use their sharing to benefit ourselves or to belittle them. By exchanging confidences and personal experiences, we are truly expressing our ability to love. We hear that our entire program rests on the principle of mutual trust. We trust God, we trust the Twelve Steps, and we trust each other. The Second Tradition states that our leaders are but “trusted servants.”

When I share with others, I am also aware that they need me, just as I need them.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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December 10

Love of certainty is a demand for guarantees in advance of action.

~John Dewey

Sometimes we seem awfully reluctant to make the leap of faith. At one time, uncertainty didn’t bother us too much. We trusted our addictions to see us through any trouble we might encounter. What, then, is so hard about trusting God?

Guarantees in advance are hard to come by. One thing we can depend on, though, is the feeling of safekeeping that will enter our heart when we turn our will over to our Higher Power. Turning it over is an action that never fails to reward us. Each time we decide that we can no longer run our life, each time we ask God to do it, things begin smoothing out. We never know exactly what will happen when we do this and are often surprised by the turn of events, but we are seldom disappointed. Even when we are, it’s only temporary; the future proves we placed our faith in the right place.

I ask for no guarantees today. I will make the leap of faith.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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December 11

It only takes one person to change your life—you.

~Ruth Casey

Change is not easy, but it's absolutely unavoidable. Doors will close. Barriers will surface. Frustrations will mount. Nothing stays the same forever, and it's such folly to wish otherwise. Growth accompanies positive change; deter*mining to risk the outcome resulting from a changed behavior or attitude will enhance our self-perceptions. We will have moved forward; in every instance our lives will be influenced by making a change that only each of us can make.

We have all dreaded the changes we knew we had to make. Perhaps even now we fear some impending changes. Where might they take us? It's difficult accepting that the outcome is not ours to control. Only the effort is ours. The solace is that positive changes, which we know are right for us and other people in our lives, are never going to take us astray. In fact, they are necessary for the smooth path just beyond this stumbling block.

When we are troubled by circumstances in our lives, a change is called for, a change that we must initiate. When we reflect on our recent as well as distant past, we will remember that the changes we most dreaded again and again have positively influenced our lives in untold ways.

Change ushers in glad, not bad, tidings.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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December 12
You cannot plan the future by the past.

~Edmund Burke

We got tired of how we were living. We honestly looked at our life. We saw that alcohol and other drugs controlled our life. We met others who understood us. And we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could help us. We turned our will and our life over to this Power. In so doing, we learned that life doesn’t take place in the past or in the future. We find life in the present. We find our program in the present.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I’ll leave the past in the past. I pray that I’ll walk into each new moment with my Higher Power.
Action for the Day

The only time we revisit the past is when we tell our story. Today I’ll tell my story to someone. I’ll tell what really happened. I’ll tell what life is like now.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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December 13

AA Thought for the Day

It’s very important to keep in a grateful frame of mind, if we want to stay sober. We should be grateful that we’re living in a day and age when alcoholics aren’t treated as they often used to be treated before Alcoholics Anonymous was started. In the old days, every town had its town drunk, who was regarded with scorn and ridiculed by the rest of the townspeople. We have come into AA and found all the sympathy, understanding, and fellowship that we could ask for. There’s no other group like AA in the world. Am I grateful?
Meditation for the Day

God takes our efforts for good and blesses them. God needs our efforts. We need God’s blessing. Together they mean spiritual success. Our efforts are necessary. We cannot merely relax and drift with the tide. We must often direct our efforts against the tide of materialism around us. When difficulties come, our efforts are needed to surmount them. But God directs our efforts into the right channels and God’s power is necessary to help us choose the right.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may choose the right. I pray that I may have God’s blessing and direction in all my efforts for good.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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December 14

I'm delighted that the future is unsure. That's the way it should be.

~William Sloane Coffin

Some of life's richest moments are the most unexpected: the old friend met by chance, or the new one discovered when neither of us was really looking; the toy at the bottom of the toy box, rediscovered and loved anew; the book, the flower, the shaft of light we were in the right place at the right time to notice and embrace.

It is important to dream and plan, to work toward goals, to mark the milestones we pass on life's journey. No less important, though, is to open ourselves to the unexpected joys awaiting us every day.

Am I ready, today, to expect the unexpected?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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December 15

When you lose, do not lose the lesson.

~H. Jackson Brown Jr.

The only mistakes we are doomed to repeat are the ones we fail to learn from. Life is a matter of approximating our goals, seldom a matter of hitting the bullseye. We take risks, sometimes we fail to understand what we are dealing with, and sometimes we just indulge ourselves in what we want regardless of what is good for us. So, in some ways, we are constantly remeasuring the difference between what we aimed for and what we actually achieved.

If we only mourn the loss or berate ourselves for missing the target and never use it to learn, we have truly lost something important. It is when we call on our inner resources and learn the lesson that we get better and stronger. Learning is the most important part of our life journey.

Today, I will look for the lessons in my mistakes and let go of defeatist attitudes.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men