Step Four

[bluidkiti]

About Step 4

"First, let us face it [sin] for a fact. Face the worst, in reality and in possibility. Don't brood on it, but face it . Are you afraid you have an incurable disease? Face it: get a thorough medical examination, be honest with yourself, and with those who have the right to know about you. Do you have a dark spot of unbelief in your heart, so that your religion is a kind of wearing of a mask? Face it: admit it to yourself; remind yourself that it is not a final condition of mind, and expose yourself to searching religious experience, and to reading great books about religion. But don't fool yourself, be honest with yourself - and be especially honest as to the possible moral causes for unbelief in yourself, where sin hides faith from our eyes. Is there sin gnawing away at the vitals of your life? Face it: don't say you are not taking account of it, it's not a very big sin, you think it may wear off. Sin doesn't work that way. Look it in the face, and grapple with it, else you will carry it with you. Is your conscience pressing something upon you which you do not want to do? Face it: don't flinch and run away, for you cannot alter your deepest conviction, you can only obey it, or live a divided life'." [Samual M. Shoemaker, If I Be Lifted Up]

"Imagine you are transferring the ownership of your life to God in the same way you would transfer ownership of a business. One of the first things you would do in negotiating to sell a business would be to take an inventory to discover the damaged or out-of-date goods that are no longer salable. In Step Four we call it a "moral" inventory because we compile a list of traits and behaviors that have transgressed our highest, or moral, values. We also inventory our "good" traits and the behaviors that represent them. In our life's moral inventory the defects or dysfunctional behaviors might include some that once worked; some dysfunctional behaviors may have saved our lives as children, but they are now out-of-date, self-defeating, and cause us a great deal of trouble when we use them as adults." [Keith Miller, A Hunger for Healing, Harper,1991]

"Our understanding of the moral nature of the inventory will be greatly enhanced if we first distinguish between moral and moralistic. When we are moralistic, we are judgmental and opinionated. Our language is full of shoulds and oughts. As John Keller states: "moralism is 'shouldism': You shouldn't feel that way." Moralism is about finger pointing and blaming. It is highly conditional, critical and nonaccepting. Moral, on the other hand, evaluates right and wrong in accordance with God's law of love, as exemplified by the life and teachings of Jesus of Nazareth. A moral inventory uses the law of love as its standard." [Martin M. Davis, The Gospel and the Twelve Steps, RPI Publishing, 1993]

"Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. We want to find exactly how, when and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves. By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for us.' [Anonymous, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, AA World Services, 1952]
Step 4: Related Biblical Themes

* Searching. The word searching implies that we are looking for something that has been hidden and that we will need to be thorough in our efforts. When we start working Step Four we quickly realize how instinctive it is for us to be evasive, to blame, to get distracted. Most of us have not taken inventory of ourselves in a long time - maybe never. We have hidden the truth from ourselves and it will now take a disciplined effort to pay attention.

It is probably important to emphasize that nothing in this Step is meant to suggest that we are globally responsible for everything. We may have been harmed in many ways by others. But the heart of this Step is to begin identifying the things for which we are responsible. We cannot fix anyone else. We cannot take responsibility for other people's poor choices. But we can start to identify the things for which we are responsible.

Working this Step will require a sustained effort to get past all the creative forms of denial that have protected us from the truth. Fortunately, God is prepared to help us in this task. We do well to pray with the Psalmist:

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." [Psalm 139:23-24]

* Fearless Calling this self evaluation 'fearless' might be confusing. It doesn't mean we will not be afraid. That's a bit too much to expect. We will experience fear. To call an inventory fearless means that we will be courageous in the face of our fears. When the fear comes - and it will come - we will keep on. For many of us, our addictions are the main tool we have used for managing our fears. Letting go of that destructive pattern and continuing to work this Step in spite of the fear will create a new and potentially lifesaving pattern for fear management.

* Moral Inventory. Inventory taking is not a new idea. The early church knew the importance of this spiritual discipline and connected it directly to it's public worship. As Paul said, "A man ought to examine himself before he eats of the bread and drinks of the cup" [1 Corinthians 11:28]. Unfortunately, this spiritual discipline has been abused at various times in the history of the Christian church. It has been used against people rather then for them. It has been used to create shame rather than freedom. But most commonly the biblical mandate for inventory taking has simply been ignored. And we have suffered spiritually as a result.

A moral inventory is not just a listing of bad actions for which we are responsible. It might help to think of Step Four as essentially a restatement of Lamentations 3:4:

"Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord"

This puts it well: we are to examine our ways, the character of our lives. In the Twelve Step tradition people are given a structure, a process and a community that helps them in this self examination. In Twelve Step programs people are often encouraged to begin a moral inventory by focusing on resentments. While this might seem at first like a focus on how other people have hurt us, in reality it is part of the process of taking responsibility for our own actions. The resentments which we inventory are our resentments. They are how we have chosen to respond to painful situations. As we begin to take full responsibility for the way we have responded to life, we gradually learn to let go of things for which we are not responsible and to hold ourselves accountable for our own actions and responses. Resentments are an important focus because they are one of the most common causes of relapse in recovery. There is an old slogan in AA that says this well: "Having a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting someone else to die."

A second focus that is frequently encouraged in Twelve Step programs is a focus on fears. The reason for doing a moral inventory of our fears is that, next to resentments, fears are one of the things that most commonly lead us to relapse. Making an inventory of our fears forces us to look closely at how we manage our fears. As we look at what makes us afraid we will be given many opportunities to find out how thoroughly we have worked Step Three. Gradually we will learn that God can be helpful to us when we are afraid. Gradually, one-day-at-a-time, we can turn our fears over to a Power greater than our own.
http://www.christianrecovery.com/tfr/dox/stepfour.htm

[bluidkiti]

Step 4 - We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts.Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life.

Steps One through Three are preparatory steps for Step Four. Here is a brief summary of the first three steps. Step One: We recognized that we are powerless over our sinful nature and that our lives have become unmanageable on our own. In Step Two, we came to believe that the God who created us could restore us to sane living. Step Three: We simply made a decision to turn our lives and will over to the care of God.

For me, and I would think most Christians, we go through life doing the Steps One, Two, Three; One, Two, Three and on we waltz, dancing through life to our own tune never making it to the fourth step. We realize there is a problem, cry out to God for help and then think we make a decision to turn our lives and will over to God. As time passes and the problem subsides, we fall back into our self-centered ways. No need for God right now, everything is going great! Or we do the famous cafeteria-style of Step Three: Here, God, you can have this, that and a helping of this, but you can't touch these parts of my life.

Step Three can be a spiritual plateau on which we become stuck. We settle in on this comfort zone. Like water in a puddle, we become stale, stagnant and stoic Christians -- or worse, we slip off the plateau to where we once were. Plateaus can be and really should be wonderful events in our lives. They are places to rest, catch our breath and contemplate the future, but they are not a place to stop forever.

Step Four begins the process of implementing our decision to turn our lives and will over to God. This is a lifelong process. We will grow, plateau, then grow some more, all in God's time and His will.

Step Four can be a scary process for most of us. The Psalmist's prayer above is a frightening prayer. I urge you to pray this prayer when doing Step Four. This does not need to be a scary step; rather, it can be an exciting step to help us out of our bondage of rationalization and delusional, sinful living. This step simply identifies the faults that have separated us from God.

1 John 1:8-10 If we say we have no sin, we are only fooling ourselves and refusing to accept the truth. But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from every wrong. If we claim we have not sinned, we are calling God a liar and showing that his word has no place in our hearts.

The above Bible passage is one of my favorites. It takes us out of a delusional state of mind. I define delusional here as "making our own reality". It is not real that none of us are without faults. It is not real that we are perfect. It is, however, real that we can become developing followers of Christ. We can live a life that moves along a path of growth -- not of perfection but rather progression.

At this point in the 12 Step process, an accountability partner, mentor or as they say in A.A. a sponsor, is an invaluable tool. A mentor is someone that has walked the path before you. He has seen the highs and the lows, reached the plateaus and moved on. He understands the process, and in turn will help you.

Obviously I love to write. I write most of my prayers to God. Step Four should be a written inventory of what is keeping you from becoming more like Christ. We simply write the nature of our character defects. Do not rush this step. Take all the time you need.

While there is not a right or wrong way to being this process, here is an outline that will help you begin. This list is not original. It comes from talking to people I know that are in 12 Step Recovery programs such as Alcoholic Anonymous.

Begin by writing down your resentments. Resentment is defined as "indignation or ill will felt as a result of a real or imagined grievance." A synonym is anger. What or who are you resentful toward? What causes this anger? What effect is it having on your life and your relationship to God? What was your role in causing this behavior?

Fears. What are you fearful of? What causes this fear? What effect is this having on your life and your relationship to God?

Sexuality Instincts. This includes how you relate to people of the opposite sex. Not just sexual encounters. What is your behavior and attitude about this? How does it affect your life and relationship with God?

Financial security. What are your behaviors and attitudes toward money and the management of your finances? What is causing these attitudes? What are the effects on your life and your relationship with God?

Emotional security. Again, what behavior and attitudes are causing you emotional problems? Emotional insecurity can lead to depression, fear, worry, self-pity and anger.

What relationships are causing me emotional insecurity?

Social instincts. Do you have any social connections that cause you pain? Do you behave in an irrational way, to make yourself out to be someone that you are not, due to your social insecurity?

I am sure there are more items to list. In short, what behavior and attitudes are causing you separation from God? In short, what behavior and attitudes are causing you separation from God? What are you doing that is harmful to others? What are you doing that is harmful to yourself?

At the end of this inventory, please write the positive characteristics of yourself. There is good in everyone. Don't use this list to beat yourself up. Rather, use it as a benchmark, a starting point from which to grow. Your best effort to do a complete and honest inventory shows your willingness to truly turn your life and will over to God.

Lord, search our hearts, our behaviors and attitudes. Reveal to us what is displeasing to you. Lord, and also help us to see the good that you have put in us. Help us to build on what is good and rid our lives of what is bad. In Christ's name. Amen.
http://mywebpages.comcast.net/wolfpakron/12Steps-4.html

[bluidkiti]

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. Eph 5:11) Then you will remember your evil ways and wicked deeds, and you will loathe yourselves for your sins and detestable practices. (Eze 30:31) Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. (2 Cor 7:20-23)

Study: Psl 139:23,240; Eph 4:17-5:21; Gal 5:13-16; Mark 7:20-23; 1 John 1:8; Eze 36:26,27,31; 2 Cor 7:10; Rom 13:11-14; Rom 12:1-3; John 8:34-36; Rom 8:5-9; 2 Cor 6:14-7:1; 1 John 3 19-24; Psl 19:14.
http://www.alcoholicsforchrist.com/sa.htm