Today's Thought - March

[bluidkiti]

March 1

Reflection for the Day

Change is a part of the flow of life. Sometimes we're frustrated because change seems slow in coming. Sometimes, too, we're resistant to a change that seems to have been thrust upon us. We must remember that change, in and of itself, neither binds us nor frees us. Only our attitude toward change binds or frees. As we learn to flow with the stream of life, praying for guidance as to any change that presents itself - praying, also, for guidance if we want to make a change and none seems in view - we become willing. Am I willing to let God take charge, directing me in the changes I should make and the actions I should take?

Today I Pray

When change comes too fast - or not fast enough - for me, I pray I can adjust accordingly to make use of the freedom The Program offers to me. I pray for the guidance of my Higher Power when change presents itself - or when it doesn't and I wish it would. May I listen for direction from that Power.

Today I Will Remember

God is in charge.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

March 2

Battles we've won or lost

Even the continuous recovery we're enjoying is no shield from traps we seem to set for ourselves. At times, we can find ourselves in the foolish game of continuing to fight battles we've won or lost.

One losing battle is the attempt to win the approval of someone who has always disliked us. That person may be gone, but we still fight - and lose - the same battle when we find ourselves in a similar situation.

We also may have won some battles without knowing it. This can happen when we've set our goals unrealistically high. We may be fairly successful in our work, for example, but still feel that we have failed because a high goal we set eluded us. That goal, however, may have been all but impossible to attain, and while we mourn our perceived failure, we ignore the successes we may have achieved in the meantime. Consequently, we should never let any of these battles interfere with our plan for sobriety. We must stay sober at all costs.

This day, I'll not strive to impress people who may always disapprove of me. I will also accept my successes even if they fall short of my highest dreams.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

[bluidkiti]

March 3

Trying to ignore our worries only pushes them underground.

Pretending we are not anxious, when we are, is a tactic that fools no one, especially not ourselves. Attempting to deny or repress our fears and worries does not work. The result is often depression or a physical ailment, indicating that in our subconscious, we know very well that something is wrong.

The rigorous honesty of the Twelve Step way of life saves us from playing destructive games with ourselves. A worry that we can define and examine in the light of day is far less threatening than one we are trying to hide.

So let's ask ourselves what it is we fear. If our worry is a rational one, we need to decide what we can do to prepare for the worst-case scenario. If the worry is irrational, we need to figure out how to get rid of it. But, no matter whether a worry is rational or irrational, we can't turn it over until we acknowledge we have it. Getting our worries out in the open and talking about them with people whose judgment we trust keeps us grounded in reality.

If I am worried about something today, I will consciously examine it so that I can resolve it.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

[bluidkiti]

March 4

Hope is the thing with feathers
that perches in the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all.
--Emily Dickinson

We often hum and sing to ourselves because it makes us feel content. It is the melody itself that makes us feel good--words and thoughts do not matter.

Having hope for ourselves and for our universe is like having a melody always moving inside us. The melody may be calm or exciting, but most of all it brings with it beauty and a sense of peace. Hope can overcome the need for words and thoughts and promises. Hope is the melody that keeps us going, the hum that continues even when there are no words to the song. Hope is not a melody we think about--it must come when we believe in the goodness of our world. If we have faith in a power greater than ourselves, we will be able to find the melody of hope inside us at all times.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

March 5

The art of life is to show your hand.
--C.V. Lucas

Newcomer

I've been thinking about talking to another sponsor. Not to replace you - our relationship is important to me, and I get a lot from it - but in addition to you.

Sponsor

We're lucky to have such an abundance of sober experience in this fellowship. There are many of us, and we can get to know people with various lengths of time in recovery, different experiences, and different styles. Knowing others and having the willingness to let others know us is one of the keys to growing in recovery.

I support your wanting to enlarge your support system by taking on a second sponsor. There may be someone, for example, with whom you want to focus on spiritual matters.

Your expressing your desire for additional sponsorship gives us an opportunity to take a look at our own relationship. You may think that I won't be able to understand a particular issue that's troubling you. You may be worried about how much you've already shared with me - many of us in this fellowship are new to letting others get close, and we may feel anxious about it. Problems with relationships are often at the heart of problems of addiction. Whatever it is, I'm open to hearing about it, and I won't criticize your feelings or walk away. I've been there myself. Thank you for being willing to talk with me about your needs and plans.

Today, I am willing to be honest and open with a trusted person.

You are reading from the book:

If You Want What We Have by Joan Larkin

[bluidkiti]

March 6

I can change only myself, but sometimes that is enough.
--Ruth Humlecker

Happiness is more fleeting for some of us than for others. We may ponder this notion but fail to grasp the reason. However, careful attention to how "the happy ones" go through life will enlighten us. We will note how seldom they complain about others' actions. We will discover their willingness to accept others as they are. We will see that their attention is generally on the positive aspects of people and circumstances rather than on the negative.

We can join the parade of "happy ones" by letting go of our need to change people and situations that disturb us. Even when we are certain other people are wrong, we can let go of controlling them. Doing this means changing ourselves, of course. But this is the one thing in life we do have control over.

I will change myself if I think something needs changing today!

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

March 7

Being alone and feeling vulnerable. Like two separate themes, these two parts of myself unite in my being and sow the seeds of my longing for unconditional love.
--Mary Casey

How easily we slip into self-doubt, fearing we're incapable or unlovable, perhaps both. How common for us to look into the faces of our friends and lovers in search of affirmation and love.

Our alienation from ourselves, from one another, from God's Spirit, which exists everywhere, causes our discontent. It is our discontent. When souls touch, love is born, love of self and love of the other. Our aloneness exists when we create barriers that keep us separate from our friends, our family. Only we can reach over or around the barriers to offer love, to receive love.

Recovery offers us the tools for loving, but we must dare to pick them up. Listening to others and sharing ourselves begins the process of loving. Risking to offer love before receiving it will free us from the continual search for love in the faces of others.

I won't wait to be loved today. I will love someone else, fully. I won't doubt that I, too, am loved. I will feel it.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

March 8

Love it the way it is.
--Thaddeus Colas

It's easy to love people who are like us, who may have been raised the same way, educated the same way, share the same values, or have had many of the same experiences. It's not as easy to love people who seem different. But if we are to fulfill God's plan for us, we should try.

It's not easy, either, to love the way we feel sometimes, or the unpleasant things that happen to us. But, like the people who are "different" from us, even our negative feelings need to be loved. Our fears, frustrations, pain, boredom, despair - these are part of us and they oftentimes have a greater purpose.

We may not think it's possible to love how we feel, but we can make the decision to love everything about ourselves - and then we can see what happens. We may not know God's purpose, but we may understand better if we learn to love ourselves the way we are.

I don't know God's plan for me, but I accept myself and others in love.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

March 9

Blame and Criticism

Am I bored? Highly critical? Fearful or anxious? If the answer to any of these questions is "yes," I may be suffering the effects of procrastination.

If I am plagued by boredom, I may not be seeking or initiating constructive changes in my life. By refusing to ask questions or seek answers to questions I already have, for instance, I perpetuate my sense of failure and emptiness.

If I am highly critical of others, it is very likely I am a "non-doer." People who are busy doing their heart's desires have little time to complain about the actions or attitudes of others.

If I am anxious or fearful about the future, I may be postponing until tomorrow what I could be doing today. Merely hoping or wishing my life will get better, while avoiding or worrying about an unpleasant task or problem, is self-defeating at best. If I want to live today fully, I must do something constructive with it.

TODAY I will tackle at least two things I dread doing. I will not waste my time and energy by wallowing in boredom, worry, criticism, or fear. I will do what needs to be done even if it requires effort, risk and change.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

[bluidkiti]

March 10

Good Grief

"The strangest thing happened," said my friend, a lovably neurotic, very obsessive businessman in his mid-forties.

"I was watching one of those afternoon TV talk show. This one was about problem kids. A parent comes on. She talks about how out of control her child is. Then a parenting expert comes on. He does tough love with the kids, like a drill sergeant, screaming and getting in their faces. Then he takes the troubled kids for a week and straightens them out.

"So this nine-year-old boy comes on. He's been a monster. Killing animals in the neighborhood. Driving his mother nuts. The drill sergeant guy gets right up in this kid's face. He's screaming. 'You think you're tough? You're a tough guy?'

"The expert's screaming at the kid. The kid is just standing there. And I'm watching this thinking Maybe this kid is just a bad seed. 'How'd you like me to come home with you for a week? Be in your face like this all the time,' the expert hollered. 'Would you like that?'

"'Yes,' the boy said.

"'What did you say? Yes? You'd like that? Why would you like that?'

"'Because I don't have a dad,'" the kid said. The boy's lip quivered. The expert got silent. The audience went nuts. But that's not the strange thing," my friend said. "Melody, I started crying. Sobbing like a baby. I haven't cried for ten years."

"What do you think that was about?" I asked.

"I realized how much I missed having a dad," he said. "When people asked me, I always said it wasn't important. I didn't know until I saw that show and started crying that you could miss something you never had."

Sometimes we don't know what or whom we're missing.

"How can I stop feeling so blue about being separated from my children?" another friend asked when business had taken him away from home for a month. "You're asking the wrong person," I said, "It has been eleven years since my son died, and I still miss him every day."

Grief. It may strike suddenly, catching our heart by surprise. Or it may pound relentlessly and persistently for years, like ocean waves beating on the shore.

Whether we're conscious of what or whom we're missing, our heart knows. We may never be happy about whom or what we have lost, but it is possible to be happy again.

Grief isn't an abnormal condition. It's nature's way of healing our heart.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

March 11

The love, the acceptance of other persons makes me into the unique person I am meant to be.
--Peter G. van Breemen, S.J.

Our destinies are fulfilled through our loving involvement with the men, women, and children sharing our experiences. It is not by accident but by design that we've been drawn together to share goals, the workplace, or a home. We contribute to each other's search for understanding, and the spiritual quest that's at our center finds its resting place in one another's hearts.

The letter, the smile, or phone call we offer a fellow traveler today will bless our own faltering steps throughout the long hours ahead. Each time we focus our attention on the struggle or joy of someone else, our personal well being is enhanced. If we give away our love, we'll doubt less that we, too, are loved.



You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

March 12

Comparing my insides to other people's outsides causes me problems.
--Joan Rohde

For most of our lives we felt inferior. Others seemed smarter, wittier, and more attractive. We felt inadequate every time we compared ourselves to others. Getting sober hasn't freed us from this behavior, at least not completely. Fortunately, we now have tools that we can use in changing behavior that hinders our growth.

Talking with a sponsor, sharing with a friend, or asking God for help frees us from the hold of negative behaviors. Comparing ourselves to others doesn't have to shame us any longer. All that's necessary is to stop the thought, think instead of God's presence within, and quietly bless ourselves and the person who unknowingly triggered our reaction. Our progress in changing this shortcoming will be as swift as our decision to take this simple action.

I am in control of my thoughts. God will help me every time I start to compare myself to someone else today.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

March 13

We wonder, "How can I ever say this?"

We need to be free to talk about anything in our intimate relationships. Some things are very hard to say - an old secret we have never told before, a feeling or an observation our partner does not want to hear, a mistake we made that calls for confession. We wonder, "How can I ever say this? How can I avoid hurting myself or my partner?"

Not all things need to be said at once. Readiness is the first part. We can get ourselves ready to speak. The second part is timing. When we are ready, we wait for a good moment to appear, a moment in which our message will fit. The third part is love. Honesty coupled with care and love is healing and strengthening. Some pain is necessary in a growing relationship, and we can tolerate it because it leads to more understanding and more peace of mind.

Think of one new thing you would like to tell your mate about your thoughts, feelings, or behavior.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

[bluidkiti]

March 14

I always entertain great hopes.
--Robert Frost

In our honest journey, we must admit life is often difficult and painful. But these facts do not describe all of life, and they do not determine how we respond. The sun rises warm and bright after a cold and dark night. The open, generous smile of a small child reaches into the soft part of us all. To be strong and hardy on this spiritual path, we must be truthful about the pain and unfairness in life while holding firmly to a belief in all the generous possibilities.

Surrendering to despair, we trade the uncertainty of options for the certainty of gloom. Then we might say, "At least I'm never disappointed this way." Life isn't filled only with difficulty and pain. It is also filled with people whose dignity and spirit rise above their circumstances. There are situations when great sacrifice or love and wisdom turn a problem into an opportunity and strength. If we look at what has happened in our own lives and in those of others, we have ample reason to hope.

My own experience in recovery gives me great hope in what can be.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

March 15

On any journey, we must find out where we are before we can plan the first step.
--Kathy Boevink

Our lives in all aspects are a journey toward a destination, one fitting to our purpose, our special gifts, and our particular needs. Each day contributes to our journey, carrying us closer to our destination. However, we often take a circuitous route. We get stranded or waylaid by our selfish desires, by the intrusion of our controlling ego.

We can reflect on the progress we've made toward our destination, the steps we've taken that have unknowingly contributed to our journey. Our easiest steps have been the ones we took in partnership with God. It's in God's mind that our path is well marked.

We are just where we need to be today. The experiences that we meet are like points on the map of our journey. Some of them are rest stops. Others resemble high-speed straight-aways. The journey to our destination is not always smooth, but the more we let God sit in the driver's seat, the easier will be our ride.

I will plan my journey today with God's help, and my ride will be smooth.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey