Sponsor

[MajestyJo]

Something I posted on an old site of Tammy's not sure it is posted here. If it is a duplicate let me know and I will erase it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...&v=IKcyQynC0sE

Snagged this from Facebook. Done from a humorous point of view.

The 13th Stepper:

[MajestyJo]

Called to leave a message on my sponsor's machine to welcome her back from her holiday only to have her answer her phone. She went hiking with her son and grandchildren and ended up with plates and screws in her ankle after being in the hospital. She came home early to heal at home.

I got the sense I was suppose to phone and I am glad I followed through on it. Sponsor are good to call in the good times and the not so good times.

I am glad I phoned because now I can be there for her. She is not mobile and doesn't do not doing well. She is out golfing in the good weather and that was what her and her husband were suppose to be doing in California. I am really glad she is home, I have missed her these last four months. The nice thing is, the conversation picks up where we left off, each time she goes away and comes home.


__________________

[MajestyJo]

It was nice to get a return call from my sponsor tonight. It was good to receive affirmation from her for my decisions. It was nice to be validated on some things I had shared, but that wasn't why I had phoned, it was to keep her abreast of what was going on in my life.

"Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book" - Book

Don't put a question mark where your sponsor puts a period.

I kind of liked this quote in Recovery Emporium. I know in the past, when my sponsor considered the subject closed, I kept bringing it up and still wanted to keep thing going, not only had a period, but I think I had a few semi-colins as well.

One of my sponsors use to say, "You have the answers within." Go within and listen for the answers and I wanted her to give me the answers and do my work for me. I wanted her to enable me and do the work for me. That did not go over well with any of my sponsors, I picked them all well.

If they answer the questions, with a question, that is even better.



The Wolf is the teacher.

[MajestyJo]

http://www.inspiringthots.net/movie/greatest-love.php

That was the big "I" speaking, God lead them to me. When the one sponsor fired me I wondered if I had chosen the right sponsor, but she did teach me a good lesson. As my favorite piece of prose says, "A season, a reason, or a lifetime, we never know how long someone is going to be in our life.

[MajestyJo]

Having a sponsor has been one thing that has been constant in my recovery, and yet ironically, the same sponsor through out my recovery hasn't happened. I have been fired, I have been taken back on, at my request. I have had an AA, NA, and Al-Anon sponsor, I have had an AA, and an AA co-Sponsor, a Native American woman I was working with at the time, different combinations, my second Al-Anon sponsor passed away on Monday. My 1st Al-Anon sponsor and I were co-sponsoring each other when she passed away.

When I asked the sponsor who passed away to go through the Blue Prints to Progress by Al-Anon and she dropped me as a sponsor. She said she had nothing to give me. I had trouble understanding it. We had about the same time in the fellowship, we had both come from abusive marriages and we both had sons who were addicts. She told me that every time I shared at a meeting, her mouth was opened in awe with what I shared, and I couldn't understand this because we both had about the same amount of time in the program. I wish we could have shared more.

Several sponsor relationships I felt used, they only had time for me if I came over and did something for them. One sponsor I typed and sorted papers for her job. Another sponsor expected me to get her rides, invite her for meals, and a lot of things were conditional. The one who fired me lived in the west end and I had moved to the east end for a short period and she said she didn't see me at her meetings, so she let me go. I was only there about 2 years and I was back in the same area. It was meant to be, because I has some very important contact during that time.

I will always remember my first Native American sponsor who use to say two things to me. If you are doubting yourself, you are doubting God. The other was, "JoAnne, are you still intellectualizing? Stop it!"

Tonight I had the thought to call my sponsor twice but for some reason, I didn't. I will call tomorrow hopefully, and will find that she is alright. If I was suppose to have made that call I would have, I hope and pray a prayer was enough. Maybe it was because I saw my AA sponsor in my lobby tonight. I never call her. Haven't fired her, don't even have her number to call her any more since I deleted all the calls on my directory by mistake. A good way to let go. She came up behind me and tapped me on the shoulder and she reeked of smoke. One of the reasons I don't sit down and talk with her. I see her friend who lives in my building more often than I see her. I have issues with my sponsor because of two of her active addictions, that she feels comfortable with, so I had to detach and let go. My focus has been Al-Anon, but I know when I need it, I will rush to the nearest AA meeting.

Tonight I was talking to my son and my pharmacist. I said, "I was going to become a drunken old lady and get rid of my shakes, because the rheumatologist and neurologist, both told me for years, that my shakes would go away, if I picked up a drink. A couple of nights ago I had to stab my food with my fork to get it to stay on long enough to get it to my mouth. Some days it gets to be frustrating. Some days acceptance just isn't always there when you want it and is slow in coming.

The lies we tell ourselves, that become our honest truth. They are so steeped with our cross our heart and hoping, we can't see the BS from the buckwheat, at least I think that is the saying.

Posted on another site June 13, 2012.

It has been so important for me to have that one special person I can go to and share. When she wasn't available I had large support network I could go to because picking up was never an option.

[MajestyJo]

One day when I was out, I met three people I knew. I look on these people as guardian angels or spiritual connections, especially when I am going through emotions or situations that are stressful in the moment and it is an indicator that my God is with me. A gentle reminder that I am not alone.

I don't have any sponsees any more because of my health. I don't feel that I can give them what they need. I can't always be there for them and it is important for me to be on call. I will always lend an ear but not able to sit down with someone and work the Steps with them and go to meetings which is important to me as a sponsor.

Sponsorship is a real gift. It helps the sponsor as much as it helps the sponsee.

At the moment, I don't have an active sponsor. I need to get out to meetings and connect with more people as my support group has moved or is moving away. My AA sponsor didn't physically move but mentally and emotionally detached and is dealing with her own issues. I have called her a couple of times in the last month. I don't need one as much as I did at the beginning, but sharing with others is important. That is why I am so grateful for the message boards online, I don't do chat rooms.

I need someone who is open and honest. Someone who will call me on my stuff and yet do it in a manner that I know she cares. With my fibromyalgia, I get what is called the Fibro Fog and I seem to get lost, lose concentration and mentally detach from the moment. I use to think it was just old age and I was getting senile. When you share with another, someone who has been there, you know you are not alone.

Written in 2009

Called my sponsor yesterday. she had been away, so I was glad that she was home. My service sponsor said to me, "I don't care who your God is as long as it isn't you.

[MajestyJo]

Your sponsor helped you up. Don't let them down.

- Walk Softly and Carry a Big Book

A sponsor was a big part of my recovery. I don't think I would have stayed clean and sober without them. I had an AA sponsor and co-sponsor. a NA sponsor, an Al-Anon sponsor and a Service sponsor.

I was one of the really sick ones and needed a lot of people. They loved me back to good health. They loved me when I couldn't love myself.

[MajestyJo]

WHAT A SPONSOR DOES

"Sponsor: a person who makes himself or herself responsible for another (Oxford Dictionary)."

Offer you a special friendship.
Be sympathetic without encouraging self pity.
Listen to your side of the story.
Accept you as you are.
Be a sounding board for your ideas.
Give a lift to your bruised ego.
Be open and honest with you.
Share experiences with you.
Encourage you to examine your choices.
Encourage you to "Keep the focus on you."
Help you to locate your emotions.
Encourage you to make as many meetings as possible.
Encourage you to have more than one plan.
Encourage you to have a positive attitude.
Encourage you to "Live in the Day."
Encourage you to remember you are human.
Discuss with you how the Serenity Prayer will work.
Discuss with you how slogans will help you get through the day.
Discuss the disease of addiction with you.
Discuss literature with you.
Discuss The Program.
Discuss how to better communicate with others.
Recommend making a gratitude list.
Remind you to work the Twelve Steps.
Support you as much as a human being can.



What You Should Do

1) Call your sponsor often. DO NOT SAVE UP YOUR PROBLEMS.
2) Call your sponsor at a time that is convenient.
3) Be specific. Don't imagine your sponsor understands.
4) If it going to be unsafe to receive a call from your sponsor, plan how you will handle the call.
5) Do not resent what your sponsor has to say just because you don't like what you are hearing.
6) Do not try to get your sponsor to come over to your house to solve a personal problem that you are having with your partner.
7) You do not have to buy your sponsors gifts.
8) Arrange to meet your sponsor sometime, somewhere to talk where you can share without being interrupted.
9) Do not resent it if your sponsor is not free to talk when you call.
10) Do not resent it if your sponsor does not call back.
11) When you choose a sponsor, choose someone to whom you can relate.
12) Do not ask everybody you meet for advice on your problems.
13) Don't expect your sponsor to know all the answers.

Author Unknown

[MajestyJo]

When working with your sponsor during learning and working the steps and you have a problem or disagree with something. Do you talk to someone else about it or go directly to your sponsor?

In today, I go to my Al-Anon sponsor. I seldom hear back from my AA sponsor (seldom call because I see her continuing to act out in her disease using men and gambling). In early recovery, I was so fearful of going back out I had co-sponsors in AA, a NA sponsor, an Al-Anon sponsor, and a Service Sponsor.

Always the sponsor first, we can agree to disagree, until I have an enlightenment and see things her way.

God is good indeed! I know a fellow who came into the program the same time as me and he was 19. He is still sober the same number of years that I am. Age has nothing to do with it. It is that willingness that I found that kept me here along with God's Grace which got me to the doors. He had the same NA sponsor as I did, a man in AA, who qualified for both programs.

He gives us freedom of choice. Once I found there was a solution, I chose to stay here.

[MajestyJo]

If you don't have a sponsor, get one. If you can't find a sponsor that you can identify with, get a temporary sponsor. She can get you rooted into the program and show you the ropes.

I was told to look for someone who had what I didn't have. That was just about everything, because I was this empty shell that needed a lot of filling up. First of all, I needed a foundation to build upon.

Recovery isn't a quick fix. It is a one day at a time program, that takes a desire to be honest, open-minded and willing. I needed someone with the same desire for sobriety, I just didn't want to be sober and continue on in my dis-ease.

[MajestyJo]

If you think you have a good idea you might want to get second opinion from your sponsor.

Walk Softly and Carry A Big Book

This reminds me that me alone with me is bad company. This seems to have made itself known a couple of times lately.

Sponsor can put a new perspective on things. It means that I can look at things and see the positive and negative side of things, not look at things with tunnel vision and through rose-coloured glasses.

There was a time I never moved until I talked to my sponsor. She was a woman of patience and tolerance.

The last time I talked to my sponsor I didn't listen to her because I didn't want to do what she suggested. It would have saved me a lot of aggravation.

It was important for me to recognize that she had a life too. Her life didn't revolve around me. She would call me back when it was good for her. I later learned about how much negative energy we can project onto someone by our words and deeds. Often she had to back off for self-preservation.

When I am alone with me, I have not one to disagree with me. That is not healthy. If there is only one voice being heard, someone is redundant and only one person is doing the thinking or all the work, then things are out of balance. It is about participaction and everyone taking part.

We can do what I can't do alone. My God speaks through others.

[MajestyJo]

Just realized that my sponsor should be back. She left in November and due back the end of April.

When ever she comes up, we just pick up where we left off.



Just saw this on a post I copied earlier. She was busy with her son here on a visit and they went home. I got the thought to call her and she answered the phone, only to find out that her grandson's birthday was coming up, and she was going to California. She will be back and then they will be gone on their winter leave from November to April. With things going on the way they are, I am going to have to look for another sponsor.

[MajestyJo]

Since neither sponsor nor sponsee is in the dictionary what is one who is sponsored called?

Someone who has been where you have and shares their experience, strength, and hope with a newcomer. Someone who suggests, guides, directs according to how she/he as lived CLEAN and SOBER.

A mentor, a confidant, a friend in need, and someone who will watch your back, and watch to see which way you are heading.

We can share, but what the sponsee, newcomer, new arrival to the fellowship does with it, and how we worked our program, doesn't mean they have to do the same thing. We sew the seed and hopefully, they will nurture it, and want what we have.

I found it best to find someone I could identify with, who has what I want, who walks his/her talk. When I look at them, do I see recovery?

[MajestyJo]

Sponsors are lighthouses, not foghorns. We look to them to see how they do it, not depend on them to tell us what not to do. We already know.

I cannot improve if I only have myself as a model.

- Pocket Sponsor

This reminded me of what my sponsor/spiritual adviser said to me, "You are not responsible for their recovery or their relapse."

Sponsors have been a vital part of my recovery. I don't think it is possible to have true sobriety unless you have one. It is a we program, I needed that one on one sharing. When I found myself in difficult patches, my sponsor's words would come to mind. They are gifts from God.

I have always said, "Look for someone who has been there done it. Someone who has something you want."

They are a vital tool to recovery. Me alone with me is not good company. I need that other person to bounce things off of and to let me know when my perception is off.

Found this post made in 2011.

This is a one day at a time program and just as true in today as back then.

A big hello from Canada!

[MajestyJo]

After typing this, I check my e-mails, which were old, and found one from my friend and said, "I am looking for a new sponsor, hint, hint, hint!" Haven't checked yet to see if she replied. I will see her on Friday, so we will be able to talk then. I am sure that God will help us come to a decision, and if it isn't meant to be her, someone will be made known to me.