Character Defects Checklist

[janbear]

Character Defect Check List
(A List of Things On Which I Might Need to Work)

Honesty
Procrastination
Pride

Greed
Belligerence
Closed-mindedness

Grandiosity
Acceptance
Loneliness

Guilt
Intolerance
Humility

Courage
Jealousy
Profanity

Arrogance
Fear
Laziness

Willingness
Selfishness
Impatience

Forgiveness
Avarice
Stubbornness

Self-Centeredness
Alibis
Perfectionism

Aggression
Dependency
Punctuality

Faith
Responsibility
Gratitude

Guilt
Envy
Anger

Possessiveness
Lust

[janbear]

It is just my personal opinion that the list should be longer.

[MajestyJo]

Thanks for sharing Jan, here is the list we used to use at my old group Freedom of Recovery. It was an open discussion meeting and people from NA came.

http://realisticrecovery.wordpress.c...acter-defects/

[MajestyJo]

The Just For Today readings are posted in the daily readings so I decided to quit posting and sharing on the reading here. It has cause me some anxiety and there seems to be something missing out of my recovery as a result of not posting them.

anxiety – Not as a clinical diagnosis, but as a general way of viewing things with an eye toward what is wrong, what might be wrong, what has been wrong or what is going to be wrong. Excessive worry, especially about things I cannot change.

This is a quote from the link above about defects of character. As they say, "Let it begin with me, it is about me and my attitude and my lack of acceptance and it is about me making adjustments. I can still read the daily reading and share on it and I am sure it is a mental block, so it is about turning it over, letting go and letting God, and what will be will be. If something speaks to me, then I will share on it if I am led to do so.

It is about me taking time to read it. I never did read the Daily readings, I just read the ones that I posted because I felt like that too much information was too much to process and was brain overload. So I need to revise my thinking, and ask for some Good Orderly Direction.

I qualify for just about any room to put me in, so it doesn't matter what reading I choose, I can identify. The substance is but a symptom of my disease, the dis-ease always comes from me.

[MajestyJo]

Saw this cartoon. How often we lie to ourselves and camouflage it as truth. We think we are fooling others, but the person we fool is ourselves. We try to hide our disease, our short comings, and dishonesty, when in fact everyone one knows and we are the last to admit our own deceit.

The sad thing is that the world is made up of it, and it is a way of life. My boss would stand beside me and tell me to tell the party on the other end of the phone line to say, "He had to go to London." It really bothered me because I was brought up to not lie. I felt as though the person could see through the telephone and tell by my voice that I was lying to him. I would tell someone that I had issued them a cheque, which I had done. At first, I said it with truth and conviction until the day I saw those same cheques in my bosses' briefcase unmailed. I lived a life of lies while I worked for that man and it really bothered me, and I ended up using tranquilizers, to deal with the stress of the job, I tried to do the work of 3 people, the more I did, the more was expected of me. I didn't know how to say "No!" and set boundaries. I had a son to raise. I had a job I liked. I also liked being Ms. Indispensable and Ms. Perfection but as my addiction progressed, my work efficiency decreased. My boss use to say, "I hate it when you are right." It got so I wanted to prove him wrong. He had two stores when I started working for him and had five when I left. Major ego strokes, and when he went bankrupt, it was a time of I told you so until I came into recovery and looked at myself and looked at my part and my actions and saw my own disease.

[MajestyJo]

Just for today, I will work on living and walking in faith and letting go of fear. I know my God is with me. I can't project into the future, I have to live in today. Today I allowed anxiety to take some time away from my day and until I recognized the fact, and let it go, I stayed in the stress and worry before I could turn it over and let it go. Once I did, I saw how pointless it was and how the solutions were there, in spite of everything that was running around in my head.

I have to go for test on the 17th on my heart. It is one day at a time, I can't project into the future. The same thing happened when they started, I knew I was going to see my doctor today to get the referral to the specialist. It wasn't about a heart attack, it is about circulation and/or hardening of the arteries, which could be the same thing. I can't play doctor, I just have to do the do things and let go and let God.