One Day At A Time - August

[yukonm]

August 1

THE PAST

“Our past is a story
existing only in our minds.
Look, analyze, understand, and forgive.
Then, as quickly as possible, chuck it.”
Marianne Williamson



Before I came into program I had the tendency to beat myself up over the things I'd done while in the throes of my disease. I would relive everything I'd done -- especially my misdeeds. Guilt ruled my life.

Then I found Twelve Steps that set me on the road to recovery. And I found promises ... promises that told me that if I were to rigorously and honestly work the program, I would find a new freedom and a new happiness. I was told that I would not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it, (as found on page 83 of the Big Book).

For me, the Big Book reminds me of where I came from and that I never want to go back. The Williamson quote (above) tells me that I don't need to wallow in the guilt of yesterday.

One Day at a Time . . .
I remember my past, release it and move on.

~ jar

[yukonm]

August 2

CONTROL

"I know God will not give me anything I cannot handle.
I just wish He didn't trust me so much."
Mother Teresa



There was a time when I asked God to handle only the impossible. How dare I ask someone as busy and important as God to help me with a simple thing like food? After all, this was just a matter of using a little will-power ... of pushing myself back from the table. Or so I had been told.

As I began to trust my Twelve Step program more and more, I found myself turning over to God the issues which triggered my compulsive eating. It was with great relief that I began to surrender my food and other problems to Him. It was with enormous gratitude that I realized what a gift it is to finally be able to give up control and put my life in my Higher Power's hands.

One Day at a Time . . .
I relinquish control of my food.
I relinquish control of people.
I relinquish control of my life.

~ Mari

[yukonm]

August 3

WORKING IT

“For the things we have to learn
before we can do them, we learn by doing them.”
Aristotle




When I walked into my first Twelve Step meeting I had absolutely no idea what was going on. I knew nothing about the program, the Steps, or how to work them. But I listened, asked questions, and I learned.

One of the most important lessons I learned was that I couldn't just sit around waiting for recovery to take place. I couldn't just ask God for help and do nothing else. I had to put feet to my prayers, as they say. I had to do something. So … slowly, with the help of my sponsor, I took the first Step. And then the second.

I found that I could talk a good game around program folks because I'd learned the lingo. But the saying, “you've got to walk the talk” tells me that I have to do it. I can't just speak my recovery into existence. I found I didn't have recovery until I began working the Steps. It was only when I started “the doing” that the real learning -- and the real recovery -- began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will take what I learn about recovery
and put it into practice ... I'll work the program.

~ jar

[MajestyJo]

Like this, it confirms my belief: "Take the words off the pages of the literature and the words you hear in the rooms of recovery, and apply them to your life. It means nothing if I know and don't acknowledge it, accept it, and take action.

[yukonm]

August 4

OTHERS

"In the deepest part of a compulsive eater's soul ...
is the realization that recovery begins when we find one another."
Anonymous



Growing up in the deep South in the 1950's, I witnessed things I never dreamed could happen. It taught me lessons I have never forgotten. Little did I think that someone like me could ever be discriminated against. After all, I was the right color, the right size, the right religion and lived on the right side of town.

Messages began to be taped early on in that little girl's brain ... into the psyche of that teenager who worked so hard to achieve ... and into the young woman who had the world by the tail. In adulthood those messages began to play ... and food made the messages easier to hear. So began the life of a compulsive eater. So began discrimination because of my weight.

Years later I would be grateful for my life as an overweight adult. I would look back and see that the God of my understanding was preparing me to see discrimination as a disease of the soul. But what happened to give me serenity and peace and contentment? I found another compulsive eater. And then I found another ... and another. And recovery began.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will overwrite those taped messages;
I will not regret the past;
And I will cherish my fellows forever.

~ Mari

[yukonm]

August 5

PAIN

“Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses
your understanding. Even as the stone of the fruit
must break, that its heart may stand in the sun,
so must you know pain."
Kahlil Gibran


There was much to be unhappy about in my childhood. There was also a lot of unhappiness in my adult life. Until I found The Recovery Group online, that unhappiness was the driving force in my life. That force robbed me of the ability to see and enjoy the many wonderful things that I had experienced. I wore a cloak of sadness, bitterness and resentment ~ I had been short-changed. It was the old glass-half-empty, glass-half-full story....poor me.

Being able to share the pain and unhappiness I have known has freed me from the power it had over me. Clearing away the wreckage is enabling me to see my part in some of the unhappiness I've known. It has enabled me to see more clearly that there is so much for which I can be grateful. It has enabled me to see that I truly AM the person of value which I had represented myself to be towards others. I am integrating that person into the "unacceptable" being I carried within. I have seen others here endure challenge, pain and hardships with so much grace. I have learned that pain is, indeed, inevitable. I have the choice whether to dwell on the pain morbidly, or to instead focus on the joy of this day.

One day at a time...
I will live in the joy of this day and I will strive to share this wonderful gift of self-acceptance to others in program.


~ Karen A.

[yukonm]

August 6

SELF-ESTEEM

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

Eleanor Roosevelt



I always used to feel “less than” everyone else, so I’d eat and feel even worse.
Without true love for myself I was dead in the water. I would compare the facts I knew about myself against the impression I had of you. I never seemed to measure up. Without self-love, I was unable to ask for, expect or accept love from others.

When I love myself and treat myself lovingly, it Doesn’t matter what others think of me; what matters is that I do not think less of myself.

One day at a time ...
I ask my Higher Power to show me little ways
to act lovingly toward myself and to know deep within
that I am worthy of being loved by others.

~ Melissa S.

[yukonm]

August 7

~ SERVICE ~

You cannot do a kindness too soon ...
because you never know how soon it will be too late.

Ralph Waldo Emerson



So many people in program sit silently in meetings because they don't think they have anything of importance to say. Perhaps they haven't been in program very long, and feel that, because they aren't a seasoned veteran, they haven't the right to speak up. But everyone's experiences and insights are different, and I would appreciate hearing from those who are quiet. They just might say something that will keep me from losing my serenity and abstinence. It would be a kindness for them to speak up.

I've had people tell me, "Oh, I can't pick up the phone and make an outreach call to someone I just met." To that I say, "Why not?" It would be a kindness to let someone know that you're there and you care about them.

Sometimes a person will say, "But I'm having a bad day myself; how can I offer hope to someone when I'm in such a shape?" It would be a kindness to share your struggle, for you would be giving others the chance to serve. I think it's as much a selfishness on our part to deny someone the opportunity to serve us as it is to deny our service to someone who is hurting.

Ours is a fatal disease. I don't want to risk missing the chance to serve someone who may not be with us tomorrow. I want to do that kindness today in case it's YOU who isn't here tomorrow. I hope you would do that kindness today in case it's ME who isn't here tomorrow.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will perform an act of kindness,
for I never know when I may forever lose that opportunity.

~ JAR ~

[yukonm]

August 8

~ HAPPINESS ~

Happiness is never something you get from other
people. The happiness you feel is in direct
proportion to the love you are able to give.
Oprah Winfrey



I learned a great lesson while grieving the loss of my three-year-old son. It was Christmas time. I had three other children who were looking forward to a wonderful day with all the trimmings, but my heart was despairing. I came to the realization that I could take the experience one moment at a time. Some of those moments would be very sad, but some of those little periods of time would be joyful. I found out that happiness is moments, not a state of being. We can take those joyful moments and treasure them until they accumulate into happiness. We have the choice to treasure them or to allow them to disappear in our lack of gratitude and appreciation.

Every day there is joy that we miss because we aren't looking for it. When I look back at the end of the day and add up the good moments, I often realize there is so much joy in my life. I learn to appreciate the little things.

That Christmas is remembered more for those little moments of joy. The love in my heart for the other children helped me to rise above the despair and reach out to give them a gift of happiness on that treasured holiday.

One day at a time...
I strive to see the good in each moment.

~ Dottie ~

[yukonm]

August 9

~ ANSWERS ~

There is no need to run outside
For better seeing,
Nor to peer from a window.
Rather abide at the center of your being.

Lao Tzu



I always looked for answers outside of myself. I did not put the trust in my self and thought someone, anyone, always knew better than me. I believed the advertisements and compared myself to polished pictures of beautiful thin women.

As I recover from compulsive overeating, I am learning that all of the answers are inside of me. I need only to get quiet and listen to that still small voice. I pray that my Higher Power will give me the willingness to go inside where my truths lie.

One Day at a Time . . .
I look within and wait patiently ...
knowing the answers, however big or small,
are all within.

~ Melissa S. ~

[yukonm]

August 10

LOSS

“The act of giving something up is painful.
But as we negotiate the curves and corners of our lives,
we must continually give up parts of ourselves.
The only alternative is not to travel at all on the journey of life.”

M. Scott Peck



As I look back over my life, I can remember many losses. Some came about by death, some by the circumstances of life, and others by choices I made. All of my losses were painful, but only three were traumatic. Whenever I gave something up there was a period afterwards when my life wasn’t the same as it had been before. The amount of pain I experienced and the length of its duration were not contingent upon the seeming “severity” of the loss. Death was final, but not the most traumatic for me. Letting go of something takes many forms.

Though my most traumatic losses were those I experienced at the end of a relationship, there were other losses, too. I lost my youth and I mourned that. I lost a part of my life when a decades-long career gave way to retirement. I lost my role as mother when my children grew up and I found myself with an empty nest. I lost my identity when the disease I have had for a lifetime caused me to reach bottom and, in the process, took the “me who was” along with it. And I lost another part of myself when I accepted the reality of my marriage and let go of the storybook dreams I once had.

My Twelve Step program has enabled me to go through a mourning process for each loss I experienced. I have allowed myself to grieve and feel the feelings. And when all this was done, God’s grace allowed me to heal.


One day at a time ... I will learn from those things I had to give up ...
and I will continue my journey in serenity and peace.

~ Mari

[yukonm]

August 11

SELF-KNOWLEDGE

“The world we have created is a product of our thinking.
It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”

Albert Einstein



The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and, when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault.


As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened.


One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well.


The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps.

One Day at a Time . . .
I do a daily 10th, 11th and 12th Step and am reminded that it is my responsibility to listen to my Higher Power and do my part in creating the world around me.

~ Nancy

[yukonm]

August 12

~ SAFETY NET ~

Leap, and the net will appear.

Julia Cameron


I’m an analyzer. Given the opportunity, I can analyze something to the point the original context has been lost. This was exactly what I did when I was first introduced to the Twelve Step recovery program. With each Step, I tried to discover a hidden meaning, an excuse not to work it. I spent more energy not doing the program than I ever would have following it.

When I finally made the leap into that first Step, my life began changing direction from the downward trend it was in. It was a leap of faith, and the net of my Higher Power caught me. This net will not break, nor will it fall. As I discover truths about myself that enable me to move forward in life and become a better person, I need the safety of that net of faith.

One Day at a Time . . .

I will take a leap of faith towards my recovery,
knowing I’ll be safe, and the miracle will happen.

~ Trish ~

[yukonm]

August 13

JOY

“Joy is not in things, it is in us.”

Richard Wagner


Growing up in a household of people in need of recovery, one of the things I learned early on is that things can bring happiness. None of us realized that the happiness was very temporary, never seeing us through what feeling we were wanting to stuff or what hurt hole deep inside us needed filling. I had so many feelings and so many holes inside me that I didn't have near enough money for the things I needed. What hurting 7-year old in a sick family does?

Given that, it seems natural that I turned to food to help fill holes. Just another "thing," but at least the fridge was always too full, and I didn't have to worry about the money aspect.

But things caused pain too. I learned that my parents gave more expensive and better things to those people they liked more and wanted to please. I was not one of those people; my brother was. I noted every gift and compared, and set myself up for more hurt that could only be soothed in the kitchen because I didn't know any other way.

The food "things" I ran to have caused less joy in my life than any of the things I've bought. I've been fat since I was four, torturing my body over the years by alternating starvation with massive bingeing and with purging. I was never good enough because I've never been thin enough except for that growth spurt when I was nine.

Then I found the Twelve Steps. As a result of working the Steps, I've found me. As a result of finding me and learning to fill hurtful holes by feeling rather than with things or food, I've truly found the joy that is in me.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will remind myself that things and food do not bring happiness; joy is within.

~ Rhonda H. ~

[yukonm]

August 14

~ LISTENING ~

I have learned silence from the talkative,
tolerance from the intolerant,
and kindness from the unkind.
I should not be ungrateful to those teachers.

Kahlil Gibran



Verbosity is one of my personal characteristics ... especially in my past. I remember so well discussions in which I found great joy in talking. I also remember my prayers to the God Of My Understanding in which I had a litany of things prayed for.

As I became more and more entrenched in my program, I noticed that I began to listen more and talk less. I also began to really hear what God was saying to me. Praying is our talking to God and meditating is listening to Him. So now meditation has became a way of life for me.

As I go through my life encountering the talkers of the world, I now try to listen to those who are silent but who have much to say. The loud voices of my past life were just loud. It is, however, the quiet, calm voices that have spoken to me in volumes.

One Day at a Time . . .
I will listen carefully to those who speak.
I will listen especially carefully if it's God who is speaking.

~ Mari ~