Today's Gift for Families - April 2014

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Then Bacchus. . .gave him the choice of making a wish come true. . . . So Midas said, "Make everything I touch turn gold."

—Ovid

Poor King Midas, already rich as a king, was made poorer by his poor wish. Everything he touched--small shoots, wet clay, a ripe head of wheat, apples from a tree - all suddenly went bad, turned into gold, pure gold. And how could he eat when bread and fruits, even fresh running water, suddenly shined at him, yellow, hard, and cold? He could have wished for a wiser, smaller success. He could have had all familiar things turn kind at his touch, or loving and good. Then imagine how he would have touched everyone he came near.

If some wishes are too good to be true, are others too bad?

Most wishes that aren`t good, are not meant to come true. Might put me in a bad mood, so grateful for the program, that I don`t have to stay there, I can pick up the tools of recovery.

I found it to be very true, ¨Do not wish your life away.¨

[MajestyJo]

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

It is wealth to be content.

—Lao-tzu

On the evening of the first day of spring, a woman gave her husband a bright red geranium in a clay pot. To celebrate, he placed it on the windowsill, and together they marvelled at the delicate petals.

In the harsher light of morning, though, the man frowned at the geranium and said to his wife, "How shabby it makes the sofa look." They spent the day at the furniture store and came home with a new couch, blue with red flowers, like the geranium. They placed the couch in front of the windowsill and admired together its grace and line and fashionable upholstery.

But the next morning, the man frowned at the couch and said, "How shabby it makes the carpet look." Soon they had a lavish new carpet, which led to new curtains, lamps, and chairs. When the room was completely redone, they set the geranium back in the window and surveyed the finest room in the neighborhood. The man frowned. "The geranium," he said, "it's out of place. It will have to go."

Will I be able to appreciate life's simple pleasures today?

There are priceless gifts out there if I take the time to look for them. Try a smile, it will surprise you.

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, April 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

If there is anything we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could be better changed in ourselves.

—Carl Jung

Children are smart. Remember how we used to imitate our parents' behavior? We'd dress up like them, mimic their words, even copy their attitudes. We wanted to be just like them because we thought they were the most wonderful people in the world. We can see this happen all around us, younger ones imitating parents, older brothers and sisters, and older friends. It's very flattering.

The problem is that children imitate not just healthy behavior and attitudes, but also sometimes the not-so-healthy. We get very uncomfortable when we look at a younger person misbehaving and see ourselves in that person. Suddenly, we aren't flattered any more.

When we see things we don't like in others, we must first look at ourselves to see if we need changing. This is all we can do--change ourselves. Others may follow our example or they may not, but we can be sure that, when we watch our own behavior, most of what we see of ourselves in others will be flattering.

What change can I make in myself to set a good example today?

My sponsor use to say, "If you have recovery show it. Clean up your act, clean up your mouth, clean up your body, (your clothes, your hair, and personal hygiene), and clean up your thinking and change your attitude.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, April 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

One day at a time - this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone.

—Ida Scott Taylor

It's not always easy to understand that the day stretching before us is all that counts. Daydreaming about the party last week, or getting upset all over again about a fight we had yesterday with a friend doesn't help us right now. When our minds are on the past, we miss out on the conversation or the activity that is going on around us.

Every moment of the day is special and guaranteed to help us grow and understand life. All of us have been taught to pay attention in school, or to pay attention when others talk to us. But we should also pay attention to the birds, the sky, even the grass. And we can learn a lot by paying attention to the conversations going on around us, and to the small voice inside us that helps us know right from wrong.

What's going on today is enough to pay attention to.

Am I ready to pay attention to what is around me today?

Have been known to shut down mentally, put my nose into a book and ignore things, especially thoughts. Then I have to do a meditation to ask that the barrier and block be removed and let go of the feeling that I allowed to build up in me. Sometimes I am aware, other times, I don't want to know, especially when it comes to my son.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, April 5, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes - I wonder if it weighs like Mine - Or has an easier size.

—Emily Dickinson

How can we measure all the grief we feel, and how can we put up with it? Doesn't the Grief of Death weigh a ton or more? Doesn't it stretch out to a month, a year, or longer still? Is the Grief of Failure lighter than the Grief of Despair, but maybe longer? Isn't the Grief of Emptiness the heaviest of all? Whether we try to ignore or make light of it, our grief, like a ton of feathers or a ton of rocks, is all the same to us. This much is sure: if we lock our grief in, it will weigh more on us and lengthen out; if we open our hearts with weeping and words, others will help carry it away.

What old sadness can I let go of by sharing it today?

Found out in recovery, that when I felt sad, whether it is from depression or grief, it is often compounded by memories from the past, that I didn't deal with properly, because I was using.

We didn't know how to grief and we generally didn't like the feelings that went with it, so we stuffed it and used to make them go away, be it people, places and things.

There have been times, when I have been on the computer, sitting in my chair, or just walking along and tears will come. I look at it as a healing, generally not aware of the origin, but know that it is a cleansing. It could have been something I asked for or a body memory.

When I find myself in an old pattern or behaviour, it is often something that I need to look at and identify, if possible, the source although that isn't always necessary, as long as I am open to the healing energy.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, April 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

In quarreling about the shadow, we often lose the substance.
—Aesop

There is a fable about a man and his camel who were hired by a wealthy man to get him across the desert. The journey was so hot that they stopped to rest one day, and the only shade to be found was in the shadow of the camel. The two of them began to argue about who had the rights to the camel's shadow--the owner or the renter. They were so involved in their argument that the camel ran away and they didn't notice until it was long gone.

Sometimes we get so caught up in being right that we become like these two, fighting over a shadow. Instead of paying attention to our journey and sharing what we have, we let ourselves get distracted. It is more important to notice what we have, to share it as best we can, and continue our journey.

What can I share with another today?

Don't use, no matter what. Take your focus off of others, and turn it within. Look at your part, what part did you play, are you using others so you don't have to look at yourself.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, April 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Take time every day to do something silly.

—Philipa Walker

Spring fever may bring out our longings and our sense of unfilled needs for attention, play, or laughter. We may be afraid to express these needs because they are not often taken seriously, but thought of as childish. We may even be afraid our needs are so enormous that they will never be satisfied, and so we keep them bottled up inside ourselves, and all we can express to others is frustration.

Spring is a reminder that we can find a way to satisfy our needs. We can give ourselves a break from work or study, laugh a little, and try to share our laughter with someone else. There are many ways to fulfill a need, and by giving what we have to offer, we may find ourselves getting back exactly what we really need, even though it may not be what we had hoped for.

In the act of giving we learn we are worth giving to also. We learn that we deserve to be loved, most of all by ourselves.

What do I think I need today?

What I need is some down time after two days out and about.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Any time you sense you are getting overrun by outside influences and losing your feelings, put your attention inside your body. Relax. . ., let your breath sink low. . ., breathe in your abdomen. . . .

—ANNE KENT RUSH

When we are feeling as though all our energy is scattered throughout our bodies, we need to practice centering, or focusing this energy into one place. Our center may change from day to day, and each of us feels it differently.

When we're walking, we may feel power coming from our hips and spreading through the body, heart, and mind. When we're in a meditative mood, we may feel warm energy at the back of the head. At other times, we might feel a real centering place in the middle of the chest, right where our heart and arms and breathing come together. There is no one way to be at peace. Centering is a way for each of us to find and picture to ourselves our focused energy. When we can do this, we increase our power to bring about those things we want from life, those things we really do deserve.

Where is my energy right now?

I know it is now in the right place! Before coming on to post, I did a meditation with some nature cards. I sat down to turn on my computer, only to see that some of the cards had fallen on the floor, not sure if it was before or after my meditation, so put them together, said another prayer, and asking for what I needed and that what I didn`t need, be taken away.

I got a card that said, `Happiness from the past,` which was a result of a long time friend connecting with me and meeting with a good friend yesterday in the mall. My last card was the eagle, which promises vision, power, and healing.

[MajestyJo]

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There are persons who have some parts like me, but no one adds up exactly like me.

--Virginia Satir

Most of us feel pretty ordinary. We probably wish we were taller or shorter. Some of us are fat rather than thin. Few of us have perfect skin or teeth. Often we look at others, compare ourselves, and wish we were different. At these times, it's important to remember that each of us is special. We differ from others because we're created for different purposes.

Some of us will make a contribution to the world of sports, some to the art of music. Teaching or medicine will attract others and yet, no two of us will give to the world in the same way. Our unique mixture of looks, attitudes, and abilities will be special and very necessary to the people sharing our lifetime.

How can I give my special gift to the world today?

Like this, our gifts are very varied and some have been hidden over the years and we have to look at who we are in today and what we can do. As I like to say, `More will be revealed.` It is amazing what we can do, with our God behind us, supporting us on new ventures. Sometimes I found things that I thought I knew, was laughable and best not done again!

[MajestyJo]

Thursday, April 10, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

But don't go into Mr. McGregor's garden.

—Beatrix Potter

Since we are members of a family, we are not free to do anything we like. We may not be able to go as far from home as we would like. We may have to get up earlier in the morning than we would like. We may have only limited use of the car. Families set up limits in order to maintain order and happiness. If each of us demanded something different for supper each night, the situation would be unmanageable.

Limits also keep us safe. When Peter Rabbit was told not to go into Mr. McGregor's garden, it was for his own good. Limits and restrictions are a form of love and protection, and we all have them. When we bump up against one of these limits, we can be assured they serve to point us in another direction, one with freedoms of its own which we may never have explored without being forced to.

What freedom can I discover in a limitation today?

One of the reasons I kept coming back to the program was that I wanted the freedom the program offered.

Freedom from active addiction, freedom to be myself, freedom to find the God of my understanding, freedom to heal through the 12 Steps.

As a woman once shared, "I had to learn to live the Traditions, until such a time as I could work the Steps. Recovery is a program of progress, not perfection. I am offered freedom from addiction, be it to alcohol, drugs, men, relationships, work, etc., one day at a time.

[MajestyJo]

Friday, April 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Listen to your feelings. They tell you when you need to take care of yourself, like finding a friend if you feel lonely, crying if you feel sad, singing and smiling if you feel happy, and acting frisky if you feel good.

—Pat Palmer

When we get too much of anything - too much fun or too much work - we may feel really crummy when it's over.

One way to listen to our crummy feelings is to say, "Here comes the letdown after all that fun." We can imagine a spaceship falling to earth, floating on the ocean. Coming down to earth is as much a part of the adventure as the countdown and blastoff.

A letdown for us means we need to let our bodies and minds rest, just like the spaceship, bobbing around without any special direction. We need to take it easy, do nothing, put off making plans.

Then we can ask God to help us let go of the crummy feelings that come along with a letdown. We can ask the spirit within us to guide us through this time of change. Then we will let down and let go.
What are some things I can do to take it easy the next time I feel down?

Not feeling good tonight, a body ache and a heart ache about my sister being in the hospital.

What do I do? I pray, meditate, and come online. Even if I am not able to always share, I can read and get the spiritual food I need.

[MajestyJo]

Saturday, April 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief.
—Wendell Berry

Blessed are all birds and animals, the wildest beasts, and, yes, all serpents, too, for they live in nature, in a state of natural grace. They live beyond the rules of evil and good. Their instincts are obedient only to the laws of survival, growth, and health. And as their lives unfurl in obedience to these laws, they suffer no shame, regret, or sin. Nor do they curse their failures, or themselves.

We can learn much from them. They harbor no evil toward one another, and they trust their own inner sense of how to live, and that their Higher Power makes sure everything which befalls them is for the best. Yes, they are blessed, and so are we, the highest animal.

What guilt can I free myself from today, just by letting go?

Guilt is often projected onto others and we allow ourselves to take it on. So often old tapes trip us up, and we feel guilty for things said and done. It is the past and I do not have to carry it in today. That was then, this is now, and all I have to do is send my God a knee-mail and ask for healing and forgiveness. Instead of carrying around those old tapes, make new ones. It is not always my job, my fault, my responsibility, etc. ¨It is though, if I take it on and if I do not recognize what is mine and what is not.¨ Just because it is said, doesn't make it true or that it is your truth.

[MajestyJo]

Sunday, April 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

Nobody can be in good health if he does not have all the time fresh air, sunshine, and good water.
—Chief Flying Hawk

Before this part of the world was colonized by Europeans, native Americans thrived here, living in wigwams and teepees, spending their time in the fresh air and sun, and drinking pure, fresh water from springs, streams, and rivers. They lived long, healthy lives and almost never were sick--precisely because they knew how important the natural elements were.

When we feel depressed or nervous, nature is a good listener. We can take a walk in the sun, listen to the small birds, or twigs cracking under our feet, or simply the sound of our shoes on the pavement. We don't need to live in teepees to follow the Indians' example today. But getting out in the sunshine and fresh air every day, even on really cold days, rejuvenates us. Sunlight is healing, fresh air cleanses our lungs and brings more oxygen to the blood and brain. When we think enough of ourselves to take a walk when we need it, even that small amount of self-consideration is also healing.

Have I given myself time to live outside today?

Went to the hospital to see my sister. I was glad to leave and get fresh air. Hamilton doesn't have the freshest air, it is called the Steel Town. It does have trees and I have a couple of parks near me. When it rains, I try to think of it a big City wash and a drink for those trees and other plants.

[MajestyJo]

Monday, April 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

There the penitents took off their shoes And walked barefoot the remaining mile.
—Robert Lowell

Some people have to have pain. If dirt doesn't fall on their heads from the sky, they sulk in corners and hope their flesh turns to dust. They do everything the hard way, even when they know better, and often complain and accuse others for their pain. For people like this, even the song of a bird is a bother. It's better to smile when people like that accuse. It's better to wear shoes when walking on stones, better to take the shortest way. There is weeping and wailing enough in the world, dumps full of worn-out guilt and remorse. When the bird sings, it's better to look up and see that it beats its wings not to punish itself, but to fly.

Do I pity myself when I could be flying?

Never had a desire to fly unless it was to some distant place I wanted to go, but because of my addiction and the addiction of my family, I never got very far.

A pity party doesn't get you very far, always figured I had an over active imagination, but had to make sure I stayed grounded in today, instead of projecting into the future.

The difference in today, is that I may decide to take a time out and sit on the pity pot, but in today, thanks to the program, I have a choice as to how long I stay there.

I don't have a lot of pity in today, the pain is there, but when I think back on how I abused myself and allowed others to abuse me, it is no wonder that my emotions, my mental thoughts and body memories, make them self known in today. It all has to be healed, not stuffed away, out of sight, out of mind, until we wonder why we are hurting so badly.

Like the reading say, it is best to listen to the song and enjoy the presence of the bird, instead of worrying as to whether it was going to dump on you.

[MajestyJo]

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

If I have freedom in my life, And in my soul am free, Angels alone that soar above Enjoy such liberty.

—Richard Lovelace

When a cow decides to stop nursing her calf, she isn't rejecting it. She knows it's time for the calf to be on its own. Although the calf might feel rejected and puzzled at first, it soon adapts to its new independence and freedom.

When we feel rejected, it's useful to remember that whatever has caused us to feel this way might have nothing to do with us. It might be a reflection of what's happening with someone else, or just the end of a natural stage in life, as with the calf.

When we understand that others' actions toward us come from their own feelings, and that we don't cause their feelings any more than they control ours, we can free ourselves from a little bit of fear and self-hate. We can see what seems to be rejection as an open door, with our freedom on the other side.

What rejections have set me free?

Relationships with ex-boyfriends and from people who are still using, especially those who think I don't have a problem. It is generally there denial, because if I had one, they just might have one too, especially if they drank with me.