Daily Practice - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 92-93-
Ch- 7 Working With Others:
Continue to speak of alcoholism as an illness, a fatal malady. Talk about the conditions of body and mind which accompany it. Keep his attention focused mainly on your personal experience. Explain that many are doomed who never realize their predicament. Doctors are rightly loath to tell alcoholic patients the whole story unless it will serve some good purpose. But you may talk to him about the hopelessness of alcoholism because you offer a solution. You will soon have your friend admitting he has many, if not all, of the traits of the alcoholic. If his own doctor is willing to tell him that he is alcoholic, so much the better. Even though your protege may not have entirely admitted his condition, he has become very curious to know how you got well. Let him ask you that question, if he will. Tell him exactly what happened to you. Stress the spiritual feature freely. If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him. The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.

-Tom- after Doing Steps 1-11 and reading the Directions for for Step 12, my sponsor said, because the BB said, it’s time to start taking other men through the steps, That is the 12th step. I said yeah, ok. I was afraid to sponsor guys, I thought I would hurt them more than help them, so I avoided it, and my sponsor knew what I was doing. So, he told me I was to share in every meeting and after the meeting go and spend time talking to newcomers. He knew I had what they needed; A Solution to untreated alcoholism, working knowledge of the 12 Steps and the BB. Eventually someone would ask me to sponsor them, I did, then my life really began to change.
I learned how to Love and take of my Family by first learning to love and take care of my Prospects.
Today I pray that I remember I must practice Steps 1 through 12 if I wish to remain Sober, Happy, Joyous and Free.

[bluidkiti]

February 2

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 84-85-
Ch 6- Into Action:
(Some of the 10th Step Promises)
And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally, and we will find that this has happened automatically. We will see that our new attitude toward liquor has been given us without any thought or effort on our part. It just comes! That is the miracle of it. We are not fighting it, neither are we avoiding temptation. We feel as though we had been placed in a position of neutrality-safe and protected. We have not even sworn off. Instead, the problem has been removed. It does not exist for us. We are neither cocky nor are we afraid. That is our experience. That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.

-Tom- After Doing Steps 1 through 8 and all the amends I could in my 9th Step, my Sponsor and I read this paragraph together. As we read, he kept stopping and asking me, “is this true in your Life, Yes or no?” To my surprise, my answer was and is , yes.
In the 2nd Step I owned my insanity: “Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity”
After fully doing Steps 1-10, to the best of my ability, I received The Miracle of Alcoholics Anonymous in the 10th Step Promise: “For by this time sanity will have returned.”
This was a Gift given to me by focusing on doing the work of each step. However there is a hook at the end: “That is how we react so long as we keep in fit spiritual condition.”
My job is to do the Work and leave the outcome of the Work to my Higher Power.
Today I pray that I remember that I can’t stay sober today, off of yesterday’s work.

[bluidkiti]

February 3

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 73-
Ch 6- Into Action:
More than most people, the alcoholic leads a double life. He is very much the actor. To the outer world he presents his stage character. This is the one he likes his fellows to see. He wants to enjoy a certain reputation, but knows in his heart he doesn't deserve it.
The inconsistency is made worse by the things he does on his sprees. Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him. As fast as he can, he pushes these memories far inside himself. He hopes they will never see the light of day. He is under constant fear and tension-that makes for more drinking.

-Tom- before AA, at times when I was not drinking, I was a fairly decent person. Little rough around the edges but not too bad. I presented an image, to the outside world, I thought was pretty good and generally who I wanted to be. I did a lot of good things.
Inside my mind though, it sounded like this “they really wouldn’t love you if they knew you, you really are a piece of **** and don’t deserve anything good, you know this is just a show, you know you are going to screw this all up again, you know this isn’t true.......etc.
Then when I drank...the inside became the outside and all Hell would break loose.
Those 2 paragraphs describe my living Hell that is defined as: untreated Alcoholism.
Thank God we have a treatment for untreated alcoholism. It is called The Program and The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous.
I pray that today I have the Courage to follow the treatment Programming of the 12 Steps and utilize The Power of The Fellowship, in my life.

[bluidkiti]

February 4

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 94-
Ch 7- Working With Others:
Outline the program of action, explaining how you made a self-appraisal, how you straightened out your past and why you are now endeavoring to be helpful to him. It is important for him to realize that your attempt to pass this on to him plays a vital part in your own recovery. Actually he may be helping you more than you are helping him. Make it plain he is under no obligation to you, that you hope only that he will try to help other alcoholics when he escapes his own difficulties. Suggest how important it is that he place the welfare of other people ahead of his own. Make it clear that he is not under any pressure, that he needn’t see you again if he doesn’t want to. You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has helped you more than you have helped him. If your talk has been sane, quiet and full of human understanding,
you have perhaps made a friend. Maybe you have disturbed him about the question of alcoholism. This is all to the good. The more hopeless he feels, the better. He will be more likely to follow your suggestions.

-Tom- One of the first questions my sponsor asked was “Do you want to feel better or do better?” Before I could answer him he said “your answer better be, you want to do better. Because you have been trying to feel better your whole life and look where that has gotten you.”
Ultimately, doing better is the Path to feeling better, not the other way around.
I can ask myself, am I really carrying the Message of AA to the new man, one on one?
If your answer is yes, then Continue to give that which was freely given to you and reap the rewards of those actions.
If your answer is no, then start today by taking the time and talking to a newcomer after the meeting.
I pray that today I remember what my sponsor said to me when I asked him
“ how could I ever repay you for all you have done for me?” He said,
“Give what I gave to you, to the next man in need”

[bluidkiti]

February 5

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 67-68-
Ch 5- How It Works:
Notice the word “fear” is bracketed alongside the difficulties with Mr Brown, Mrs. Jones, the employer, and the wife. This short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives. It is an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it. It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn’t deserve. But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling? Sometimes we think fear ought to be classed with stealing. It seems to cause more trouble.
We reviewed our fears thoroughly. We put them on paper, even though we had no resentment in connection with them. We asked ourselves why we had them. Wasn’t it because self-reliance failed us? Self-reliance was good as far as it went, but it didn’t go far enough. Some of us once had great self-confidence, but it didn’t fully solve the fear problem, or any other. When it made us cocky, it was worse.

-Tom- When I reviewed my fears in my 4th step inventory, I saw that I had been afraid my entire life. Some of my fears were legitimate, some were self created circumstances, some just in my head.
I didn’t like feeling afraid, so I turned it into anger and then into violence and then you would be afraid of me. So that was how I addressed fear prior to AA.
I can ask myself “what is my life and decisions driven by today, fear or love?”
If your answer is fear, then put them on paper and review them, through the process of the 4th Step, then Continue all the way to 12.
If your answer is Love, then Continue doing 10,11,12, living in the Solution, and giving freely of what you find.
I pray that today I remember, I may not know what the future holds, but I know Who holds it.

[bluidkiti]

February 6

Practice of the day-
BB pg 93-
Ch 7- Working With Others:
When dealing with such a person, you had better use everyday language to describe spiritual principles. There is no use arousing any prejudice he may have against certain theological terms and conceptions about which he may already be confused. Don’t raise such issues, no matter what your own convictions are.

-Tom- The AA practice of me developing my own conception of my Higher Power and being willing to believe in that Power, was and is the cornerstone of my sobriety. You don’t get to tell me who my God is, I get to tell you who my God is.
My sponsor taught me that AA is in the business of saving lives. Once our lives are saved from alcoholic death, then it’s up to me to choose how My Soul is saved. There are places for each, do not be confused. Keep it simple and practical.
I was taught to not talk about steps in church and don’t talk about church in AA. That just makes common sense doesn’t it? I had to learn to Be where I was and enjoy what was being offered where ever I was and if I didn’t like it to leave. Simple.
I pray that today I remember where I can find God; Within me, in the Now, where ever I am

[bluidkiti]

February 7

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 44-45-
Ch 4- We Agnostics:
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago. But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried. We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there. Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.
Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves. Obviously. But where and how were we to find this Power?
Well, that’s exactly what this book is about. It’s main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem...........

-Tom- after reading those paragraphs with my sponsor he asked me, “is it obvious to you that you need to find a Power greater than yourself in order to live?” I thought about it, to me it was a silly question because I had burned my life into the ground and destroyed the only people that I truly Loved, trying my best, on my own power. I said yes, it is obvious to me. He said ok, good, let’s keep reading.
I can ask myself, is it obvious to me that I need a Power Greater than myself, in order to Live. If the answer is yes, then Continue practicing the rest of the 12 steps. If the answer is no, then call your sponsor, that will begin the process.
I pray that today I realize the only problem in my life is staying connected to My Higher Power, then He solves my problems.

[bluidkiti]

February 8

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 86-
Ch 6-Into Action:
When we retire at night, we constructively review our day. Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid? Do we owe an apology? Have we kept something to ourselves which should be discussed with another person at once? Were we kind and loving toward all? What could we have done better? Were we thinking of ourselves most of the time? Or were we thinking of what we could do for others, of what we could pack into the stream of life? But we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse, or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others. After making our review we ask God’s forgiveness and inquire what corrective measures should be taken.

-Tom- This is the nightly inventory of the 11th Step. It is also a nightly After Action Review of how I lived, felt, thought and behaved during the day. It is one of the most incredible Tools in the steps that is the least used by many, especially those with years of sobriety.
We are taught to Trust in God, clean house and help others. This nightly inventory keeps my house clean, without it, I get messy.
Early in Sobriety, after going through the Steps with my sponsor , practicing 10,11, 12. My sponsor asked me if I had been doing my 11th step. I said, yes, I have been praying and living Spiritually. He said, “that’s great, but that is not what I asked you”. I thought uh oh, I’m in trouble and don’t know why. He said doing the 11th step is just like the rest of the steps . Follow the ****ing directions for the 11th step out of the BB every night and every morning. He said to remember how far my “good ideas” got me before because they will get me there again, no matter how long I have been sober.
I can ask myself, am I practicing the 11th step nightly inventory out of BB. If your answer is yes, then Continue. If your answer is no, well, remember where your good ideas got you before because you are headed in that direction.
I pray that today I am Given the ability to Keep it Simple and just follow GoodOrderlyDirection

[bluidkiti]

February 9

Practice of the Day-
BB pg xxx, xxxi-
Ch-The Doctors Opinion:
This immediately precipitates us into a seething cauldron of debate. Much has been written pro and con, but among physicians, the general opinion seems to be that most chronic alcoholics are doomed.
What is the solution? Perhaps I can best answer this by relating one of my experiences.
About one year prior to this experience a man was brought in to be treated for chronic alcoholism. He had but partially recovered from a gastric hemorrhage and seemed to be a case of pathological mental deterioration. He had lost everything worth while in life and was only living, one might say, to drink. He frankly admitted and believed that for him there was no hope. Following the elimination of alcohol, there was found to be no permanent brain injury. He accepted the plan outlined in this book.
One year later he called to see me, and I experienced a very strange sensation. I knew the man by name, and partly recognized his features, but there all resemblance ended. From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment. I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before. To me he was a stranger, and so he left me. A long time has past with no return to alcohol.

-Tom- The first part of the 12th step says “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps...”
That means that if I do the steps 1-12, I am guaranteed to have a spiritual awakening sufficient to recover from alcoholism and drug addiction. If I don’t do them, steps 1-12, I will not.
Early in my relationship with my sponsor he told me there is only one thing I had to do. I said great, only one thing, what is it? He said “change your whole ****ing life”. I said I had been trying to do that and it hasn’t worked. He said well, let’s do these steps and see what happens.
I did/do the steps, 1-12 and my whole life changed. I didn’t change me, doing the steps changed me, and for that I am Eternally Grateful and will Continue, one day at a time,
With My Last Breath.
I pray that today I hear the cry of those in need and answer their call.

[bluidkiti]

February 10

Practice of the Day
BB pg XVii-
Foreword To Second Edition:

Hence the two men set to work almost frantically upon alcoholics arriving in the ward of the Akron City Hospital. Their very first case, a desperate one, recovered immediately and became A.A. number three. He never had another drink. This work at Akron continued through the summer of 1935. There were many failures, but there was an occasional heartening success. When the broker returned to New York in the fall of 1935, the first A.A. group had actually been formed, though no one realized it at the time.

A second small group promptly took shape at New York, to be followed in 1937 with the start of a third at Cleveland. Besides these, there were scattered alcoholics who had picked up the basic ideas in Akron or New York who were trying to form groups in other cities. By late 1937, the number of members having substantial sobriety time behind them was sufficient to convince the membership that a new light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic.

-Tom- All my life I have wanted to be a “part of” something cool, powerful, bad ass and actual meant something.

The things that stopped me were: I wasn’t really qualified, I never felt a part of even when I tried to be in the group or the thought “if they really knew me, they wouldn’t want me around”. All that **** would not allow me to fully integrate into anything.

In AA, other than the negative “feelings” I would have at times, I found my Team.

I met the qualifications of being a real alcoholic/addict, I met the qualifications of being in recovery because I had a sponsor- was going through the Steps out of the BB with him and I participated in meetings regularly.
Also, when I told y’all my story and said exactly who I was and what I had done, you loved me even more.

Just like the paragraph above said “...a new Light had entered the dark world of the alcoholic” - that Light was y’all and the dark world of the alcoholic, was me.

I pray that today I may be Given the privilege of Being the Light to another alcoholic that is still in the dark world of untreated alcoholism and drug addiction

[bluidkiti]

February 11

Practice of the Day-
BB pg-84-
Ch -6- Into Action:
This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along. We vigorously commenced this way of living as we cleaned up the past. We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code.

-Tom- my Sponsor and I spent a lot of time on this one paragraph. It contains the directions for how to live my Life once I finish with my 11th Step “upon awakening.....” .He told me many people think they know what the 10th Step means but there are actually 4 action items in this Step.
The 10th step, on the wall reads:
Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
However, as with all the Steps, there are more directions on how to actually do them.
Notice it says “when” these crop up, not “if”;
Selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear.
When these occur, here are the actions within the 10th Step, it says to do:
1. Ask my God, at once to remove them
2. Discuss with someone immediately
3. Make amends quickly, if I have harmed someone
4. Resolutely turn my thoughts to someone we can help.
Cleaning my House is one thing (Steps 4 through 9)
Keeping it clean is another (Steps 10-11)
Today I pray that I continue to grow and learn in the Basics of our Design for Living.

[bluidkiti]

February 12

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 55-
Ch 4- We Agnostics
We finally saw that faith in some kind of God was a part of our make-up, just as much as the feeling we have for a friend. Sometimes we had to search fearlessly, but He was there. He was as much a fact as we were. We found the Great Reality deep down within us. In the last analysis it is only there that He may be found. It was so with us.
We can only clear the ground a bit. If our testimony helps sweep away prejudice, enables you to think honestly, encourages you to search diligently within yourself, then, if you wish, you can join us on the Broad Highway. With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.

-Tom- for me, these are 2 of the most Powerful paragraphs in the BB.
They talk about the one place, I had never looked, to find My Higher Power:
Within myself.
My motivation was that I wanted to join them “on the Broad Highway “ stay sober and live differently.
However there are listed requirements I had to commit to:
-sweep away prejudice
-think honestly
-search diligently within myself
But they promised:
With this attitude you cannot fail. The consciousness of your belief is sure to come to you.
So I gave it a whole Hearted shot, and it worked. The consciousness of My Belief came to me for the first time in my Life.
Today I pray that I am given the Willingness to put in the Work, my sobriety requires.

[bluidkiti]

February 13

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 21
Ch 2-There is a Solution:
Here is the fellow that has been puzzling you, especially in his lack of control. He does absurd, incredible, tragic things while drinking. He is a real Dr Jekyll and Mr Hide. He is seldom mildly intoxicated. He is always more or less insanely drunk. His disposition while drinking resembles his normal nature but little. He may be one of the finest fellows in the world. Yet let him drink for a day, and he frequently becomes disgustingly, and even dangerously
anti-social. He has a positive genius for getting tight at exactly the wrong moment, particularly when some important decision must be made or engagement kept. He is often perfectly sensible and well balanced concerning everything except liquor, but in that respect he is incredibly dishonest and selfish. He often possesses special abilities, skills and aptitudes, and has a promising career ahead of him. He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees........

-Tom- my sponsor would often stop and ask me if I could relate to the what we read. He said it was very important because if I could not relate to what we were reading and talking about, why would I continue?
Another reason why it is important for me to relate is because I suffer from
Terminal Uniqueness.
Terminal Uniqueness requires that I cannot relate to anyone and no one or nothing can relate to me. It sounds like this “you don’t know me, you don’t understand what I’ve been through, this will never work, you just don’t get it, I am different, my issues are different than yours, I’m just too damaged.......etc”
All my life, I had looked for the “differences”, and I found them.
Sobriety taught me to discard the differences and look for the “similarities”, and I found them.
Whatever I am “looking for”, I will find.
I pray that today I look for similarities and not just pick out the differences.

[bluidkiti]

February 14

Practice of the Day-
BB pg 154-155-
Ch 11-A Vision For You
Of course he couldn’t drink, but why not sit hopefully at a side table, a bottle of ginger ale before him? After all, had he not been sober for six months now? Perhaps he could handle, say, three drinks—no more! Fear gripped him. He was on thin ice. Again it was that old, insidious, insanity—that first drink. With a shiver he turned away and walked down the lobby to the church directory. Music and gay chatter still floated to him from the bar.
But what about his responsibilities—his family and the men who would die because they would not know how to get well, ah—yes, those other alcoholics? There must be many such in this town. He would phone a clergyman. His sanity returned and he thanked God. Selecting a church at random from the directory, he stepped into a booth and lifted the receiver.

-Tom- Remember there was no AA in this part of the story. Bill searched the churches for drunks, then helped them. The one he found ended up being Dr Bob.
I remember wanting to stay sober so so bad, and then got drunk. So wanting to didn’t work.
I remember Needing to stay sober for an event, deadline, job or special family occasion, but got drunk. So Needing to stay sober didn’t work.
So wanting and needing to stay sober didn’t keep me sober.
What keeps me sober is DOING the things that sober alcoholics in AA do, no matter how I feel. It was a relief to me to know I didn’t have to feel like doing it or wanting to do it, I just had to do it and as a byproduct, I would stay sober.
Today I pray that I have the Courage to Trust in my God, clean my house and help others.

[bluidkiti]

February 15

Practice for the day-
BB pg 62-63,
Ch 5- How it Works:
(some of the 3rd step promises)
“This is the how and why of it. First of all, we had to quit playing God. It didn’t work. Next, we decided that hereafter in this drama of life, God was going to be our Director. He is the Principal; we are His agents. He is the Father, and we are His children. Most good ideas are simple, and this concept was the keystone of the new and triumphant arch through which we passed to freedom.
When we sincerely took such a position, all sorts of remarkable things followed. We had a new Employer. Being all powerful, He provided what we needed, if we kept close to Him and performed His work well. Established on such a footing we became less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter.
We were reborn.”

Tom- I can look at these promises and ask myself “are these occurring in my Life, right now?” If the answer is yes, then I Continue. If the answer is no, then I must stop and
re-position myself, do some work on me and my attitude, then Continue.
Salvation is Free, Sobriety is not- it must be worked for on a daily basis.
Today I pray for the Strength to Do my work in AA