Today's Thought - November

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November 1

I long to speak out the intense inspiration that comes to me from lives of strong women.

~Ruth Benedict

Each day that we thoughtfully make choices about our behavior and our attitudes, we offer ourselves as examples to others—examples of strength.

As women on recovery paths, we find encouragement from one another's successes. No one of us met our experiences very successfully before discovering this program. In most cases we lacked the structure that comes with the Steps. Direction was missing from our lives. Too often we passively bounced from person to person, job to job, drunk to drunk.

When working the Steps, we are never in doubt about the manner for proceeding in any situation. The Steps provide the parameters that secure our growth. They help us to see where we've been and push us toward the goals which crowd our dreams.

We have changed. We will continue to grow. The past need haunt us no more. The future can be faced with confidence. Whatever strength is needed to fulfill our destinies will find us. And our forward steps will make the way easier for the women who follow.

What a blessing these Steps are! They answer my every question. They fulfill my every need.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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November 2

Strength

We don’t always have to be strong to be strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track.

We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self-doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot be strong.

There are days when we cannot focus on being responsible. Occasionally, we don’t want to get out of our pajamas. Sometimes, we cry in front of people. We expose our tiredness, irritability, or anger. Those days are okay. They are just okay.

Part of taking care of ourselves means we give ourselves permission to “fall apart” when we need to. We do not have to be perpetual towers of strength. We are strong. We have proven that. Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable when we need to experience those feelings.

Today, God, help me to know that it is okay to allow myself to be human. Help me not to feel guilty or punish myself when I need to “fall apart.”

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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November 3

The strongest bulwark of authority is uniformity; the least divergence from it is the greatest crime.

~Emma Goldman

Some people and some values simply don’t deserve our allegiance. But adult children frequently find it difficult to make such discriminations. Many of us have internalized a deep rule that demands unquestioning loyalty—in the sense that loyalty means we must not question or reject authority.

We tend to blindly submit to old rules even as adults. Without thinking, we automatically obey such rules as “Never cry,” “Be seen and not heard,” “Be perfect,” and “Never bother anyone.” Even though we know there’s nothing wrong with crying or speaking up, that no one can be perfect, and that adults shouldn’t worry about bothering other adults, we continue to do as we were told—perhaps 50 years ago!

A wise person doesn’t automatically pledge loyalty to anyone or anything. Loyalty must be earned, and the voices that request our loyalty must be more than echoes reverberating down the halls of time.

Am I still obeying old rules that don’t apply anymore? Today, I will make conscious, adult choices.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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November 4

Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.

~Erich Fromm

We want others to love us. We search to find love. However, recovery asks that we focus our energies on loving instead of looking for love. We are to work at increasing our capacity to love. Love and loving others help protect us from our addiction.

During our active addiction, we “loved” to drink, do drugs, party, gamble, or casually hook-up with other people. Although we “loved” these behaviors, these are not loving behaviors; these are self-centered behaviors.

We learn in recovery that we need to do the work of love. We see a need, and we work to be of service. We see someone hurting, and we offer an ear to listen. Or maybe we just sit with that person for a time so they know they are not alone. We have looked out for ourselves long enough. Now it is time to give back some of the love the world gave to us, which kept us alive during our addiction.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me stop looking for love and teach me how to increase my capacity to love. Provide me with opportunities to be of service.
Today's Action

Today I will be of secret service to someone. I will do something for someone and expect nothing in return.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple

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November 5

No one else can set your boundaries for you.

~Lois J.

One way to create boundaries with people is to establish priorities in our relationships. In the past, out of loneliness and neediness, we may have talked to anyone, whether the person wanted to listen or not. In the mixed-up world of addiction, we often withheld our true feelings from people close to us, but perhaps spilled them to the person sitting next to us on the bus.

As we grow in self-esteem, our relationships improve and we act to meet our needs. Then we have a better sense of who we are. We make choices in our relationships and take responsibility for them. We learn to bear the pain of boundaries that aren’t respected and enjoy the serenity of those that are.

We no longer need to give ourselves away in bits and pieces; we know now what it is to feel whole. We can simultaneously have acquaintances, friends, co-workers, and intimate relationships in our lives. We can trust we will act appropriately and that our boundaries will keep us safe.

Boundaries are set one person at a time. Today I will celebrate my ability to know where I stand in relation to others.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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November 6

Best Efforts

If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.

~Emily Dickinson

Success can’t be measured by the number of those who have heard a message of hope for a better life. We constantly remind ourselves of this whenever a single cry for help arises. One success in a Twelve Step group more than makes up for any number of failures.

Success can’t be measured by the number of those who have heard a message of hope for a better life. We constantly remind ourselves of this whenever a single cry for help arises. One success in a Twelve Step group more than makes up for any number of failures.

When success comes we are reminded not to let pride carry us away. We have learned in recovery to keep our winnings in proper perspective.

I am not in the results business. My main task is to make my best effort. Results are added benefits.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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November 7

The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration their life will be.

~Horace Bushnell

Our Higher Power is always with us, through the joyful and the fearful times. We often don’t remember to think of God though, except when we’re troubled. Then our feelings of terror and hopelessness push us to seek help from God, and with this help comes renewed strength and faith that our life is cared for by a greater power than ourselves.

It seems we shouldn’t need difficulties to remind us that we can always rely on God, but it’s easy to be complacent when times are good. We can choose to expand and strengthen our relationship with God anytime. Through prayer, meditation, and a conscious attempt to feel God’s presence in all situations, we’ll come to know and trust God more fully.

Today I will not wait for a troubling moment to think of God. I’ll feel God’s presence now!

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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November 8

When people bother you in any way, it is because their souls are trying to get your divine attention and your blessing.

~Catherine Ponder

We are in constant communication with one another and, in the spiritual realm, with God. No matter how singular our particular course may appear, our path is running parallel to many paths. And all paths will intersect when the need is present. The point of intersection is the moment when another soul seeks our attention. We can be attentive and loving to the people seeking our attention. Their growth and ours is at stake.

We can be grateful for our involvement with other lives. We can be mindful that our particular blessing is like no one else's and that we all need input from the many significant persons in our lives. There is no insignificant encounter in our passage through life. Each juncture with someone else is part of the destiny of both participants.

I will look carefully and lovingly at the people around me today and bless them, one and all. They are in my life because they need to be. I, likewise, need them.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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November 9

I never think of the future; it comes soon enough.

~Albert Einstein

In our spiritual development, we learn to think about time in new ways. Many of us have come to our healing journey stuck in the past, imprisoned by fears or angers that arose years ago. We live in the past through regrets and griefs about things that can never change, and we translate them into the future with fears and foreboding. Yet we all know that life is only in the present. All we need to do is live today.

Our memories shaped us, but our development is not finished. Today, we don’t have to deal with all the problems we can foresee in the future. Today, we are given a hand to play, and we can play the cards we have as we choose. With the spiritual guidance of our recovery path, we can resolve the pain of the past and our fears of the future. Our Higher Power reassures us that we will never be alone.

Today, once again, I awake into the present, and I thank God for the chance to live this day. I will let my Higher Power care for my fears and regrets.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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November 10

AA Thought for the Day

In the past, we kept right on drinking in spite of all the trouble we got into. We were foolish enough to believe that drinking could still be fun in spite of everything that happened to us. When we came into AA, we found a lot of people who, like ourselves, had had fun with drinking, but who now admitted that liquor had become nothing but trouble for them. And when we found that this thing had happened to a lot of other people besides ourselves, we realized that perhaps we weren’t such odd ducks after all. Have I learned to admit that for me drinking has ceased to be fun and has become nothing but trouble?
Meditation for the Day

The lifeline, the line of rescue, is the line from the soul to God. On one end of the lifeline is our faith, and on the other end is God’s power. It can be a strong line, and no soul can be overwhelmed who is linked to God by it. I will trust in this lifeline and never be afraid. God will save me from doing wrong and from the cares and troubles of life. I will look to God for help and trust Him for aid when I am emotionally upset.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that no lack of trust or fearfulness will make me disloyal to God. I pray that I may keep a strong hold on the lifeline of faith.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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November 11

In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart.

~Anne Frank

In the face of being hunted for extermination, Anne Frank could write this from her hiding place in an attic. Was she naive? No. She deeply believed in the goodness of creation and the goodness of all creatures, including those who persecuted and murdered her people.

Somehow, young as she was, Anne Frank knew a truth we sometimes lose: that it is not what people do that makes them good or evil. It is who they are. And for Anne Frank, all people are made in the image of God-and therefore, deep down at their core, must be good. She was able to see through the brutality and hatred to that true creation of God.

We are left in awe at such faith and love. But we can draw from it too, and when our brother or sister or parent or child does something to hurt us, we can remember Anne Frank's ability to see what is good. We can look beneath the hurtful actions and forgive.

Can I forgive someone who has hurt me today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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November 12

Without work all life goes rotten.

~Albert Camus

Work is more than earning money. Work means using our time and skills to make life better for those around us. Our work can be our hobbies. Growing food or growing flowers can be our work. Raising children or caring for older people who need help can be our work. Building homes or helping people live in them can be our work.

Thanks to our program of recovery, we can do our best work again. What a change from the drugged-up and hungover days when we didn’t do anything well. We are sober, and we have something to offer.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see that work makes me part of the human family. Help me do Your will in my work today.
Action for the Day

Good work teaches us good habits. How do the things I’ve learned in my work help me in my recovery program? I’ll list five ways.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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November 13

When a man’s self is hidden from everybody else … it seems also to become hidden even from himself, and it permits disease and death to gnaw into his substance without his clear knowledge.

~ Sidney Jourard

A man’s recovery is in knowing himself honestly and learning to have loving relationships with others. Many of us have had close calls with death as the consequence of our addictions or codependency. We ignored the dangers in our lives, and many of us neglected our health. We wore ourselves out and wasted our energies.

Spiritual recovery and physical health go hand in hand. In recovery, moving toward fullness in life, our selves are returned to us. We leave behind our old learning and habits because they were lethal. We are becoming men who tune in to ourselves and to others around us. We are looking at ourselves and saying, “I’ll work with it!”

I will not hide myself; I will continue to be open with myself and others.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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November 14

Getting honest

Most of us have tried to con ourselves into believing that maybe it was actually okay for us to use drugs, because we needed an occasional tension reliever, for example. When we said that, we were still considering drugs as our Higher Power.

We approached the question Why not use drugs? from every angle, hoping that we could win the argument and rationalize using. When we get honest about Why not? we begin to accept our condition.

Am I honest about my true condition?

Higher Power, help me accept that I am mentally and physically different from nonaddicts, so that I can be free of the desire to use.

I will be honest about my condition today by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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November 15

Reflection for the Day

“Not all those who know their minds know their hearts as well,” wrote La Rochefoucauld. The program is of inestimable value for those of us, formerly addicted, who want to know ourselves and who are courageous enough to seek growth through self-examination and self-improvement. If I remain honest, open-minded, and willing, the program will enable me to rid myself of my self-deceptive attitudes and character flaws that for so long prevented me from growing into the kind of person I want to be. Do I try to help others understand the program and Twelve Steps? Do I carry the message by example?
Today I Pray

I ask for my Higher Power’s blessing for the group, which has shown me so much about myself that I was not willing to face on my own. May I have the courage to be confronted and to confront, not only to be honest for honesty’s sake—which may be reason enough—but to allow myself and the others in the group to grow in self-knowledge.
Today I Will Remember

We are mirrors of each other.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People