Today's Thought - October

[bluidkiti]

October 1

Everyone needs a sanctuary, yet few take time to create one. Many people have favorite spots in the natural external world they enjoy visiting, places where they renew themselves, such as a garden, beach, or forest path. For others it might be a city sculpture garden, a cozy library nook, or a tranquil cafe. Even a pen, a journal, and a quiet place might suffice for some.

We just need to turn off everything else! We can also use our creative imagination to build and enjoy an inner haven that is extremely calming and empowering. The setting and overall structures may be anywhere, with any special features or chambers we might want to conceive. Perhaps there is a waterfall where we can allow whatever quality we need at the moment to penetrate every cell of our being. Maybe there is a healing grotto, a wisdom altar, or a gazebo where our Higher Power or other guides offer advice on dilemmas.

When we take the time to slow down and go within, we discover that we are both architect and interior designer of our sanctuary. We determine how grand and elaborate, or simple and cozy, our place of calm and peace needs to be. Our sanctuary—inner, outer, or a combination of both—is our own personalized, private enclave of possibility.

I see the enormous potential in establishing a sanctuary—inside and outside—for myself.

[bluidkiti]

October 2

Coping with Stress

Inevitably, there are times of stress in our lives, no matter how long we’ve been in recovery.

Sometimes, the stress is outside or around us. We’re feeling balanced, but our circumstances are stressful. Sometimes, the stress is within; we feel out of balance.

When the stress is external and internal, we experience our most difficult times.

During stressful times, we can rely more heavily on our support systems. Our friends and groups can help us feel more balanced and peaceful in spite of our stressful conditions.

Affirming that the events taking place are a temporarily uncomfortable part of a good, solid plan can help. We can assure ourselves that we will get through. We won’t be destroyed. We won’t crumple or go under.

It helps to go back to the basics—to focus on detachment, dealing with feelings, and taking life one day at a time.

Our most important focus during times of stress is taking care of ourselves. We are better able to cope with the most irregular circumstances, we are better able to be there for others, if we’re caring for ourselves. We can ask ourselves regularly: What do we need to do to take care of ourselves? What might help us feel better or more comfortable?

Self-care may not come as easily during times of stress. Self-neglect may feel more comfortable. But taking care of ourselves always works.

Today, I will remember that there is no situation that can’t be benefitted by taking care of myself.

Today's reading is from the book The Language of Letting Go, Daily Meditations on Codependency

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October 3

Bread of deceit is sweet to man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel.

~Proverbs 20:17

Going “the third way” means allowing oneself to act dishonestly in a relationship. It means while in a committed, primary relationship, we enter a new relationship without breaking the old one. It also can mean allowing ourselves to be that other party. The third way means we are willing to compromise.

How does this happen? If we’re not habitually honest in our communications, we can easily hint to another that we’re interested and willing to be involved on a level where we’re not free to be involved. The other’s flattering response may make us feel wanted and important. So we go on step-by-step until we are deeply involved in a damaging situation.

The price of the third way trip is always high. It costs us self-esteem, increased shame and guilt, and a daily toll of anxiety. And always, always, the certitude that at some point, the fiddler must be paid.

My relationships can be honest. I owe that to myself and those I care about.

Today's reading is from the book Days of Healing, Days of Joy, Daily Meditations for Adult Children

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October 4

Down in their hearts, wise people know this truth: the only way to help yourself is to help others.

~Elbert Hubbard

Bill W. knew this when he felt a relapse coming on in Akron. He looked for an alcoholic to help. He found Dr. Bob. The rest is history.

Recovery is a “we” deal. We are in this with other people. We can’t save ourselves and forget about others; most of us have tried that many times. We change our lives by taking each thing as it comes and handling it in a new, healthy way with the help and advice of our friends. The key is to call upon and use our sponsors, rely on our groups. When we need help, we know where to go to get it. But here’s the other part: when our recovering friends need help, to whom do they come? To us. We are part of their support group. We need to be there for others and serve as a sponsor for others.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me see when my recovering friends need help and support. Help me be there for them as others are there for me.

Today's reading is from the book God Grant Me, More Daily Meditations from the Authors of Keep It Simple
Today's Action

Today I will make a phone call to someone in my recovery group who is having a hard time lately. I will let this person know that I am thinking about him or her.

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October 5

You aren’t alive if you aren’t in need.

~Henry Cloud

Being human means having many different needs. Why, then, do we cling to the idea that we are totally self-sufficient, needing nothing and no one? Why do we treat our needs—physical, emotional, spiritual, intellectual—as mere nuisances that must be gotten out of the way as quickly as possible? Why do we keep pushing our needs away to the point of making ourselves ill?

With time, we will find the answers to these questions through a recovery program that substitutes gentleness for invulnerability, self-love for self-hate, and faith for fear. Once we let go of the delusion that all our needs can be met through addiction, we begin to find out who we are and what we truly need. We will gradually let go of the fear that our needs will not be met, especially when we turn to other people. With patience and a realistic attitude, we will know the peace of having our needs fulfilled.

I live in the present, paying attention to my needs this moment and doing my best to meet them.

Today's reading is from the book Answers in the Heart, Daily Meditations for Men and Women Recovering from Sex Addiction

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October 6

Togetherness

Nothing that is worth doing can be done alone, but has to be done with others.

~Dr. Reinhold Niebuhr

Countless troubled people have agonized and sometimes died, many by their own hand, because they were defeated loners. They never learned that they needed help in solving what seemed like overpowering problems. It’s not a sign of weakness to ask for help. It’s a sign of strength.

The more closely we identify with others today, the more certain we are that nobody can solve our problems for us. But caring friends can guide us by sharing their experiences. The secret behind the magical success of sharing is that sharing cannot be done without caring. To care is to experience the most vital part of love.

Sharing problems is only a small part of giving. We must share strengths, successes, experiences, and hopes.

Whenever I am practicing the principles of my program, I am comforted by knowing that I never walk alone. Sometimes, I am led. At other times, I can show the way.

Today's reading is from the book Easy Does It, A Book of Daily Twelve Step Meditations

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October 7

When one’s own problems are unsolvable and all best efforts frustrated, it is lifesaving to listen to other people’s problems.

~M. Suzanne Massie

Many years ago a sponsor suggested that I visit a nursing home to see my problems in a broader context. I was angry, not realizing that she was trying to show me that my obsessive focus on my problems was preventing me from seeing the solutions. I had forgotten that the solutions lie within the problems themselves. I was cut off from what God had to teach me through each problem. Troubling situations can be opportunities to explore new avenues of action. We can help each other see these possibilities when we take a breather from our own concerns and listen to those of a friend. The actions we need to take will arise when a problem is shared rather than fearfully hidden in isolation.

I will open myself to others today, and through them, find that God has solutions to my problems.

Today's reading is from the book In God's Care, Daily Meditations on Spirituality in Recovery

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October 8

Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.

~Helen Keller

There is wonder in the moment, if we but look for it, let it touch us, believe in it. And with the recognition and celebration of the wonder comes the joy we desire and await.

Being wholly in tune with the present moment is how we'll come to know the spiritual essence that connects all of life. We search for peace, happiness, and contentment outside of ourselves. We need instead to discover it within us, now and always, in whatever we are experiencing.

We can let our experiences wash over us. Longing for a different time, a distant place, a new situation breeds discontent. It prevents us from the thrill. the gifts offered in this present moment. But they are there.

We can practice feeling joyful in the present, be thrilled with the realization that right now, all is well. All is always well. Life is full of mystery and wonder and each moment of our awareness adds to the wonder.

I am moving forward; we all are. I am on target. l am participating in a glorious, wonderful drama. Let me jump for joy. l have been specially blessed.

Today's reading is from the book Each Day a New Beginning, Daily meditations for Women

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October 9

Just as we took refuge in being special, we can learn to take refuge in being ordinary, not being in charge, not being the center of the universe.

~Wayne Muller

In our addictive and codependent minds, we were prone to feeling special. We felt grandiose about our power to fix others, or about our power to walk on the edge of danger and not get hurt. We thought we could handle things that most people couldn’t. Some of us felt especially bad and shameful, more shameful than everyone else. We thought recovery was fine for others, but it wasn’t what we needed, or it wasn’t going to work for us.

True self-esteem is not based on feeling special or better than others. A large ingredient of true self-esteem is self-respecting humility. We are all much more alike than we are different, and we are connected to each other on the basic levels of life and death, pain and joy, and the need to give and receive love. When we make friends with other men and really let them know us, we feel our common humanity and a strong sense of self-acceptance and self-esteem.

Today, I will notice my connection with all others, the people I like and the ones I dislike, the people I know and the people who are strangers.

Today's reading is from the book Stepping Stones, More Daily Meditations for Men

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October 10

AA Thought for the Day

We’re in AA for two main reasons: to keep sober ourselves and to help others keep sober. It’s a well-known fact that helping others is a big part of keeping sober yourself. It’s also been proved that it’s very hard to keep sober all by yourself. A lot of people have tried it and failed. They come to a few AA meetings and then stay sober alone for a few months, but usually they eventually get drunk. Do I know that I can’t stay sober successfully alone?
Meditation for the Day

Look by faith into that place beyond space or time where God dwells and whence you came and to which you shall eventually return. “Look unto Him and be saved.” To look beyond material things is within the power of everyone’s imagination. Faith’s look saves you from despair. Faith’s look saves you from worry and care. Faith’s look brings a peace beyond all understanding. Faith’s look brings you all the strength you need. Faith’s look gives you a new and vital power and a wonderful peace and serenity.
Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may have faith’s look. I pray that by faith I may look beyond the now to eternal life.

Today's reading is from the book Twenty-Four Hours a Day, A Spiritual Resource with Practical Applications for Daily Life

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October 11

What is moral is what you feel good after.

~Ernest Hemingway

Each of us has a little voice inside us that tells us what is good and what is bad. For instance, if our friends are making fun of someone who is different than we are, how do we feel if we join in the laughter? Do we feel more comfortable if we refuse to join in, or if we tell them their jokes are not funny?

As we grow, we learn more and more to trust the inner voice. Sometimes, in times of dark confusion, we have to listen very hard, but it is there to guide us. It is a beacon showing us the way out of the darkness of uncertainty. It is our guide to goodness.

Will I have the courage to listen to my inner voice today?

Today's reading is from the book Today's Gift, Daily Meditations for Families

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October 12

Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing.

~August Wilson

We human beings are a mixed bag. We have good traits and bad, and sometimes they’re intertwined. Step Five asks us to discern “the exact nature of our wrongs” and admit them to ourselves, to our Higher Power, and to another human being. That may feel daunting, but here’s the good news: if we truly explore the nature of those wrongs, we can eventually forgive ourselves with full knowledge of them. But if we hold back, unwilling to wrestle with those demons, how can we grant ourselves full forgiveness?

Confronting those truths helps clear the static. And that’s when we can hear our angels sing. Maybe they’re what Abraham Lincoln called “the better angels of our nature”: the self we can be if we choose.
Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, I’m willing to wrestle with my demons. Help me listen for my angels too.
Action for the Day

If I’m having trouble discerning the exact nature of my wrongs, I’ll ask my sponsor for help.

Today's reading is from the book Keep it Simple, Daily Meditations for Twelve Step Beginnings and Renewal

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October 13

I learned…that inspiration does not come like a bolt, nor is it kinetic, energetic striving, but it comes into us slowly and quietly and all the time, though we must regularly and every day give it a little chance to start flowing, prime it with a little solitude and idleness.

~Brenda Ueland

We tend to be action-oriented and concerned about showing results in the shortest period of time. Our world has emphasized this outlook, especially for men. Now we are seeking spiritual progress. We are on a journey seeking a relationship with our Higher Power, with ourselves, and with others.

Spiritual progress is made by pushing aside busyness and efficiency. We become receptive to inspiration by allowing empty spaces in our lives, some solitude and idleness. This moment—right now—is one such time. It is not clearly goal-oriented. Rather it is a moment when we reflect on ourselves as recovering men. We become receptive to inspiration, to a deeper wisdom, to that part of life we do not command.

I will remember today that spiritual progress comes only when I make room for it in my life.

Today's reading is from the book Touchstones, A Book of Daily Meditations for Men

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October 14

Measuring our success

Success and happiness in working our program are subjective. They have to be. Personal satisfaction in anything depends on the individual’s perceptions. Members may comment on what makes for success and happiness in the program, but we can only measure it for ourselves. To judge success by another’s standards is being untrue to ourselves.

Some judge success in material terms, some in physical terms. Still others judge success in terms of emotional adjustment or mental and spiritual growth. It’s up to us and our Higher Power, not family, friends, or therapists. We alone measure our success.

How do I measure my success?

Higher Power, grant that all my thoughts, words, actions, and successes today will be directed by you.

Today I will examine my standards for success and happiness by…

Today's reading is from the book Day by Day, Daily Meditations for Recovering Addicts

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October 15

Reflection for the Day

“If a person continues to see only giants,” wrote Anaïs Nin, “it means he is still looking at the world through the eyes of a child.” During this twenty-four-hour period, I won’t allow myself to be burdened by thoughts of giants and monsters—of things that are past. I won’t concern myself about tomorrow until it becomes my today. The better I use today, the more likely it is that tomorrow will be bright. Have I extended the hand of caring to another person today?
Today I Pray

God, may I please grow up. May I no longer see monsters and giants on my walls, those projections of a child’s imagination. May I bury my hobgoblins and realize that those epic dream-monsters are distortions of my present fears. May they vanish with my fearfulness in the daylight of my new serenity.
Today I Will Remember

I will put away childish fears.

Today's reading is from the book A Day at a Time, Daily Reflections for Recovering People