Hi I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic.

[Big_Mike_69]

Hi I'm Mike, and I live in the UK close to London. I've got 20 months sobriety, but I am struggling. I have clinical depression, which impairs my ability to work the steps.
I attend AA meetings regularly. I have had a couple of sponsors. The first was 21 years sober, but I was slow to get started on the steps, and when I did call him to start, I felt he wasn't there for me.
The second sponsor was brilliant, but overcommitted, he had 7 sponsees. We met regularly, but I got stuck at step 4. My meds for depression, not helping my lethargy.

I will be reading posts about the steps, and just browsing the forum generally.

I've got a bit of sobriety, but I am aching for a bit of serenity.

Mike

[MajestyJo]

Welcome Mike, thank you so much for signing in to say hello. Depression is also a part of the grief we go through in early recovery, so it is an additional issues over and above clinical depression. Many doctors don't know about our disease and often put young people on it, they gain weight, and go back out to use to get thin.

Alcohol/Drugs were are best friend. They became our greatest enemy, and when we made the decision to quit, we are left with a void. In order to recover, we need to fill that void with spiritual things. For example, going to your group and helping set up or staying late and helping to close the group up. Standing at the door and be a greeter, and remember you are half of a hand shake. There is no time limit on doing the Steps, do they have Step discussion groups in your area. I made them a big part of my early recovery. This is a one day at a time program. We need to look at what pops it's ugly head in today. Maybe we need to write in a journal to deal with our feelings, and a beginning of a Step 4. Step 4 is taking an inventory of what we need to change, what we need to nurture, and what we need to put on the shelf until such a time as we are able to deal with it.

We don't have to act out in our dis-ease. Steps 6 & 7 we turn our defects of character and short comings, which I call being less than who my God would have me be in today. Many times the defect is a thought, it is a shortcoming when we act out in our disease and follow thought with action, instead of thinking again, and/or turning it over to our Higher Power.

Congratulations on 20 months. That is awesome. You are almost into your terrible twos. If you are like me, I wanted to stand on the tallest building and say, "Hey people, I have found a new way of life, let me tell you all about it." When I looked back at my recovery, I knew very little at 2 years sober. It took me almost that long to just detox. I took the body and the mind followed.

There is nothing wrong with looking for another sponsor until you meet up with one that you connect with. Someone who has what you want. Someone who is walking their talk. Quality sobriety over quantity sobriety, is important. The quality may be long time, but it doesn't have to be. I would recommend anyone over 5 years in recovery.

[Big_Mike_69]

Thanks Jo, I've found a new sponsor, and will soon start working with him. For the moment I will go to meetings and read as much as I can, including this forum.

[bluidkiti]

Hi Mike, So glad to have you join us. Congratulations on 20 months! I hope you will continue to come and share with us. Have a great Thursday!

[YanKeeGal]

Mike, congratulations on almost 2 years sober. That is fabulous. I think we all know what depression feels like at times. I have found praying the our father with the step3 and step7 works for me. I have been through a lot of loss and it took me 2 years of solid grieving to come out of it. Just be patient with yourself. No two of us are the same so hang in there. It gets better as time goes on. hugs and prayers