Today's Thought - February

[bluidkiti]

February 1

Action carries us in the direction we choose.

Recovery involves doing - going to meetings working our program, reaching out to others. We don't get a job by sitting at home thinking about it, and we don't get a degree by looking at college catalogs.

It's true that we need to reflect; we need quiet times when we pray for guidance. There comes a point, however, when action is called for, when we use the power we are given to carry out our Higher Power's will for our lives to the best of our understanding.

One action leads to another. Doing what we need to do to be abstinent today adds 24 hours to recovery.

Today, I will act on my best understanding of my Higher Power's will or me.

You are reading from the book:

Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L.

[bluidkiti]

February 2

Search out shortcomings and correct them.
--Anonymous

One of the hardest things to do is to look at our own shortcomings when we are angry at someone. It seems impossible to believe at such times that something may be wrong with us. This is the reason we are so often instructed to count to ten. When we find ourselves so out of sorts, so internally disrupted, there is usually something wrong with us.

It is our first obligation to take care of ourselves. It is out of love for ourselves that we withdraw and take a spot check inventory. The spot check inventory does not demean or humiliate us. On the contrary, the purpose is to speak with God briefly, check our vital signs, and clean out our connections.

I always need my connection with God. Nothing works without a clear, clean, strong, conscious contact with my Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 3

Did you ever get a punch card from a coffee shop? If you buy nine coffees, you get the tenth free. Even though you're not paying for it, you know this purchase isn't free. The price was factored into earlier purchases. But still, getting something free is sweet. We feel like we deserve what's handed to us.

Have you ever had the experience of moving into an apartment or house, and even though it looked okay, the decorating wasn't yours? I've got to do something to make this mine, you think, even if it's just painting a wall.

Many things in life are like that. They don't feel like ours and we don't feel like we deserve them until we put time and effort into them. Then we feel like they belong to us.

In Alcoholics Anonymous, there are no dues, or fees. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stay sober. But we do certain things. We work the Steps. We go to meetings. We work with other alcoholics. And although our sobriety is a gift from God, we begin to feel like we deserve sobriety by working to make it ours.

Most of us like the concept of getting something for free. But little in life can compare to feeling like we deserve what we've earned.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

February 4

Reflection for the Day

Today I'll try to settle for less than I wish were possible, and be willing to not only accept it but to appreciate it. Today, I'll not expect too much of anyone - especially myself. I'll try to remember that contentment comes from gratefully accepting the good that comes to us, and not from being furious at life because it's not "better." Do I realize the difference between resignation and realistic acceptance?

Today I Pray

May I not set my sights unrealistically high, expect too much. May I look backwards long enough to see that my self-set, impossible goals were the trappings of my addiction; too often I ended up halfway there, confronted by my own failure. Those "foiled-again," "I've-failed-again" feelings became monumental excuses to give in to my compulsion, which blanketed my miseries. May I avoid that sick old pattern. May I be realistic.

Today I Will Remember

Good is good enough.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 5

When I am lonely, I try to think of angels.
--Betty MacDonald

We need comfort when we feel lonely. Loneliness is often coupled with fear. We wonder, Can I handle what faces me today? Often we think we can't. But we don't ever have to face any situation alone, or handle any painful relationship in isolation. The "angels" who guide and protect us are as close as our thoughts.

Twelve Step programs give us the freedom to define our Higher Power in any way that suits us. Believing our Higher Power is an angel satisfies our need to have someone watching over us, protecting us wherever we are, loving us despite our failings.

We are nurtured or harmed by the thoughts we carry in our minds. Imagining an angel or a ring of angels to walk us through each day relieves our loneliness and dissipates our fears.

I have a friend in my Higher Power. We'll be together throughout this day.

You are reading from the book:

A Woman's Spirit by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 6

Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost.
--Thomas Merton

The surest way to unhappiness is to concentrate only on ourselves. Nothing will bring on despair quicker than thinking only of our own concerns. Extreme self-centeredness brings alienation from God, from our friends, and loved ones.

The surest remedy is to pray, not for our own comfort, but for God to bless someone else. If self-centeredness is contributing to our unhappiness, focusing some attention on others is the way out. We always get help for the blues by offering a hand to another or accepting a hand ourselves.

I can avoid despair by looking beyond myself.

You are reading from the book:

In God's Care by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 7

In music, in the sea, in a flower, in a leaf, in an act of kindness... I see what people call God in all these things.
--Pablo Casals

The Third Step refers to "God as we understood Him." The pathways to meeting our Higher Power and to our spiritual awakening are all around. Every tree and every leaf on every tree, as it rustles in the wind, expresses God in our lives. When the little bird flies overhead or when it comes to visit the feeder, we are being visited by a spirit. When the sky boils with a storm, when lightning and thunder crash, we are witness to power greater than ourselves with a history beyond the centuries. The beautiful works of art created by our fellow human travelers on this journey through life are expressions of their courage to reach out and create something. A line of music moves us and we feel the spirit.

A child makes a drawing and gives it away. A neighbor helps you start your car. You treat the clerk at the checkout counter like a real person. Whatever word we use for God, if we decide to be open and receptive, we find God in the little details of our lives. Spiritual awakening is a wonderful daily occurrence.

God, open my senses to take in your presence more fully.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 8

Disappointment and Frustration

Many of us, whether we are conscious of it or not, create much of the unhappiness we experience. Our disappointments are the result of our own negative or limited thoughts about ourselves and our world. What are some of those limiting thoughts, those subconscious beliefs, which keep us from experiencing joy and wholeness?

One of those beliefs is that we cannot be fulfilled unless we are loved and accepted by those who are the victims of our past experiences, that we are too old or too set in our ways to change. Still another false idea is, "It's a catastrophe if things don't go my way!" Then, too, there's the self-defeating attitude that to love is to lose, so "I'd better prepare for the worst to happen because it will."

Two more irrational beliefs are, "I have no control over my happiness and I want life to be easy and without hassles; therefore, I'll avoid discomfort or any new commitments."

TODAY I will see each disappointment in my life as a challenge to discover the negative or limited beliefs which keep me from seeing myself as a person of unlimited resources and potential.

You are reading from the book:

The Reflecting Pond by Liane Cordes

[bluidkiti]

February 9

Coping with Families

There are many paths to self-care with families. Some people choose to sever connections with family members for a period of time. Some people choose to stay connected with family members and learn different behaviors. Some disconnect for a time, and then return slowly on a different basis.

There is no one or perfect way to deal with members of our family in recovery. It is up to each of us to choose a path that suits us and our needs at each point in time.

The idea that is new to us in recovery is that we can choose. We can set the boundaries we need to set with family members. We can choose a path that works for us, without guilt and obligation or undue influence from any source, including recovery professionals.

Our goal is to detach in love with family members. Our goal is to be able to take care of ourselves, love ourselves, and live healthy lives despite what family members do or don't do. We decide what boundaries or decisions are necessary to do this.

It's okay to say no to our families when that is what we want. It's okay to say yes to our families if that feels right. It's okay to call time out and it's okay to go back as a different person.

God, help me choose the path that is right for me with family. Help me understand there is no right or wrong in this process. Help me strive for forgiveness and learn to detach with love, whenever possible. I understand that this never implies that I have to forfeit self-care and health for the good of the system.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

February 10

If we let things terrify us, life will not be worth living.
--Seneca

A panic attack is feeling a sudden burst of anxiety and fear for no reason. We all experience anxiety from time to time but it can usually be traced to a cause. A true panic attack happens out of the blue.

Once we may have reacted to panic attacks by getting high and running from them. Then we'd come down and the whole cycle would start over.

Now we don't have to react this way. We can recognize panic attacks for what they are, isolated happenings that will pass. We can also get help from friends, counselors, and sponsors.

Today, we are not alone in our fear. We have hope.

Today let remember not to panic.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

[bluidkiti]

February 11

Do, or do not. There is no "try."
--Yoda, in The Empire Strikes Back

Trying is what we do when we aren't willing to make a commitment. We say, "I'll try," when our heart isn't ready to give a full effort. It's what we say when we can't admit that our resolve is wimpy. And it's the lie that will defeat us.

Some challenges we face can't be conquered simply by saying, "I will do it." But we can choose to do something that will help. We can't move the mountain but we can pick up some rocks. We can engage with the problem and get to know it better. Every action we take leads somewhere and sets us up for the next action. We even learn from our mistakes and that moves us closer to achieving our goal.

Today I will not just "try"; I will do something to move toward my goal.

You are reading from the book:

Wisdom to Know by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 12

Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life.
--Herbert Otto

The rewards of our new life are apparent to us because of how we feel, and apparent to others by what they can see. Many of us had reached our bottom point, and we felt there was no risk in trying a program of recovery. Yet, we still had some distorted security in our harmful ways of relating to others or in our addictions. Letting go was an experiment. This program gives us guidelines for experimenting with our life for growth, and we continue growing every day.

Some of our benefits are increased confidence and self-respect, more intimacy with our partner, better friendships, and better physical health. We feel these changes in ourselves, and we see them in the other men and women in this program.

Today, I am grateful for the rewards in my life from this experiment in recovery.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

[bluidkiti]

February 13

Ordinary moments ... they in turn enrich our lives

Our spiritual life is on the same plane as our everyday relationships. It's not just something within our mind or feelings, and it's not just lofty and in the clouds. Spirituality is between people and in all relationships. Its growth depends on the way we relate to each other as intimate partners. We find it in our relationship to ordinary things like the bread we eat and the water we drink. Spirituality is found in the ways we honor our body with food and touch, work and rest, and in the ways we honor each other.

We jointly extend our spirituality through relationships with others. As we become friends with others or as we welcome people into our home, we receive them with hospitality because God is found in each of them. When we reach out to others or receive them as guests, they in turn enrich and bless our lives. This spiritual practice of hospitality has ancient roots all over the world. It teaches us to relate with generous hospitality to all guests who appear at our door.

Do something generous for someone today.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

[bluidkiti]

February 14

The more you love, the more love you are given to love with.
--Lucien Price

With love comes promises of sentiment as rapturous as fall's splendor of color and as delicate as a crystal of snow. Love empowers us to handle the struggles that bind us, the struggles that stretch us to grow. The familiar sights and muffled sounds of each moment vibrate with greater intensity when we're giving and receiving love.

We're deluded to think the love of others will complete us, so we strive for it; we long for it. But we receive love only when we're unselfishly offering it. It is one of life's wonderful mysteries that we must first give love away if we hope to get it.

Loving another tests our patience, strength, and security. Love spurned is dreaded and perhaps too familiar, but we must risk it once again if we are to find the love we deserve.

The gifts of love are many and guaranteed when the act of love is honest, unselfish, whole, and unconditionally offered.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

[bluidkiti]

February 15

I didn't really have a plan for a career, but I learned how to run our business quite successfully one day at a time.
--Joann Reed

Whether we have a specific plan for how we anticipate our lives unfolding or we react to opportunities spontaneously, we have to take whatever comes in small increments anyway. Life only happens a day at a time, regardless of who we are. Being "leveled" in this way is good for one's humility. It's also a relief to many of us. Living way into the future prevents us from appreciating whatever is happening at this moment.

There can be joyful excitement in the decision to squeeze the thrill out of every minute that comes to us. If we are practiced in living just one day at a time, we'll not find this difficult. But many of us get caught in the struggle to control outcomes, circumstances, and people far into the future. Living a day at a time can feel like taking a giant step backward.

With practice, we'll realize that living more slowly actually extends our lives because we're able to truly experience each of the moments. Learning this, at any age, is a gift. Let's rejoice in it.

Today offers me twenty-four hours of moments to be appreciated. I will do my best to love them.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey