If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . .

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If You Can’t Say Something Nice . . .

Ephesians 4:29

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

Say an Encouraging Word

Saturday morning chores tend to bring out the worst in my girls. Take one Saturday at our home for example. Melanie was at the table cleaning up the breakfast dishes and loudly singing to her favorite CD. Stephanie, who was folding clothes in the kitchen, countered Melanie’s excessive volume by singing a different song – only louder. Elizabeth, who tolerates little when her hands are in dishwater, told them both to shut their mouths.

Her comment triggered a triangle of ugly putdowns and criticisms that didn’t stop until I entered the room to referee. Like generations of mothers before me, I reprimanded, “If you can’t say something nice . . .”

“ . . . don’t say anything at all,” they finished.

This over used theory may be easy to recite, but it’s obviously difficult to do. How easy it is to be critical instead of kind, to comment on the negative instead of emphasizing the positive, and to tear down rather than to build up.

There is no second-guessing what God’s plans for our words are. He makes it very clear in, Ephesians 4:29, Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.

When your sister borrows your bike without asking is your immediate response to tear her up or talk to her about it? When a friend says something bad about you, is your immediate response to call other friends and gossip about the situation or call the person who hurt you and see what you can do to be friends again?

Our words destroy and tear others down when they’re born out of an angry, knee-jerk reaction. Our words encourage and bless when they are obedient to God’s command that we build others up!

Think about the words that you use. Do you say hurtful things? Are ALL your words helpful in building others up? Are your conversations critical and cutting, or gentle and grace filled?

You know how your mom wishes you would talk. Think about how God wants you to talk! If you can’t something nice . . . say an encouraging word!

Today’s Prayer: Father God, thank You for Your love for me. Help me to use words to encourage and build others up according to their needs. Forgive me when my words are cutting, sarcastic, or disrespectful. I only want to speak words that please You. In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

By Lenae Bulthuis