Today's Thought - February

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February 1

Reflection for the Day

Before I came to The Program, I hadn't the faintest idea of what it was to "Live In The Now." I often became obsessed with the things that happened yesterday, last week, or even five years ago. Worse yet, many of my waking hours were spent clearing away the "wreckage of the future." "To me," Walt Whitman once wrote, "every hour of the day and night is an unspeakably perfect miracle." Can I truly believe that in my heart?

Today I Pray

Let me carry only the weight of 24 hours at one time, without the extra bulk of yesterday's regrets or tomorrow's anxieties. Let me breathe the blessings of each new day for itself, by itself, and keep my human burdens contained in daily perspective. May I learn the balance of soul that comes through keeping close to God.

Today I Will Remember

Don't borrow from tomorrow.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

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February 2

Goodwill

Looking at other people with jealousy, envy, and mean and bitter thoughts isn't new to our world. The concept of giving other people the evil eye has been around for a long time. It's mentioned in almost every religion and culture in the world.

Sometimes we're not conscious of the darker thoughts we think. We might believe that ill will and the feelings connected with it - envy, jealousy, and resentment - are wrong. So when we feel that way, we push those feelings and thoughts aside.

"I remember lying in bed one night, tortured by my marriage, but believing it would violate my religious beliefs to get divorced," a woman said. "I started counting the years until I thought my husband might die. A light came on. I realized that wishing him dead was a lot worse than saying good-bye."

We want to believe there's a balancing force that prevails in the world. And while this force is balancing things out, we'd like to get some of the good stuff too. Hey, God, remember me?

Challenge

The hardest thing about practicing goodwill is believing that when we're happy for other people - even when they're happier than we are - it will make us the happiest people in the world.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

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February 3

I'm slipping when I begin to dislike the company and conversation of the Program.
--Anonymous

There is a reason why a lamb gets separated from a flock. The flock will be eating on a particular pasture and a lamb will take a fancy to graze just off to the edge of the field. So the lamb takes a little nibble of this grass. Then he moves just ever so slightly further from the edge and takes another little nibble, then just a bit further and another nibble.

Each little nibble of grass takes the lamb further and further from the flock. After awhile, having eaten enough grass, the lamb pokes his head up and notices that the flock has left him. B-A-A-A-A-A! The lamb wails. How could his flock have left him?

I will begin slipping when I stop paying attention to my flock. My group will not leave me: I will leave my group. I will leave like the lamb, just one conversation, and one meeting at a time. After awhile I, too, could end up wailing for help just like the little lamb.



You are reading from the book:

Easy Does It by Anonymous

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February 4

In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person.
--Margaret Anderson

The expression of real love is so easy between grandparents and children - and between good friends it passes effortlessly. But why is it so hard to share real love with a spouse or lover? Why, instead, do we want to possess them? And from them, we dream of selfless devotion. Yet neither possession nor devotion guarantees the security we long for.

Real love is not selfish; it frees both the giver and the receiver. Knowing we're loved sustains our hearts and diminishes our difficulties. It doesn't bind us, yet paradoxically it bonds our hearts. These encouragements to grow, to change, to dare to depart if it's for our own good, are expressions of real love. Real love is never ownership, only stewardship of this moment's experiences.

Let's be gentle with one another, and love fully with trust, as a child loves a grandmother.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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February 5

Every day is a different day. You never know what it will bring. That's the exciting thing about getting up every morning.
--Alpha English

No doubt we have all hit spells when we didn't feel the urge to get the day going. Pulling the covers up around us seemed far more inviting. There's nothing wrong with occasionally resisting the next twenty-four hours. We do need variety in our lives. Even a healthy, fun routine is still a routine. Shaking it up is good for us. But if we make a habit of avoiding whatever plans we've made, we need to take an inventory of our feelings. Depression isn't foreign to most of us. Chronic depression needs to be addressed, however.

If we begin to feel blue about our lives, let's make sure we are expressing our feelings to a friend. Generally, there is a simple solution. Maybe we have forgotten to pray and meditate regularly. Perhaps we have become self-absorbed. Being appreciative of others generally changes how we see every aspect of our lives. Recounting with a confidant or in a journal all the blessings and achievements we've accumulated over these many decades often pushes us out of the doldrums.

Let's remember that most days surprised us with their outcomes. We never got exactly what we expected. This is one certainty about life that we can always count on.

Today is bound to surprise me in how it unfolds. I'll appreciate what comes my way.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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February 6

There's one thing you can't give away. You can't give away a smile. It always comes back to you.
--Violet Hensley

We have had years of experience with the results of smiling. How many times have we felt better simply because we smiled, even at a stranger? Smiling is somewhat like yawning. When we see someone do it, it initiates one in us, too. But how often are we the initiators of a smile when we catch the attention of someone? Seldom. And what a shame.

As kids we probably heard that it took more muscles to frown than to smile. We usually were told that in the midst of pouting and the message agitated us. Whether or not it's a truth based on research doesn't really matter. Smiling simply feels good. It inspires the same good feelings in others, too.

Life could be simpler than we choose to make it. We really don't have to assess every situation before determining what expression we'll wear. We need not search for a hidden meaning in every action or expression of the others we're with. We can awake each day, decide that we'll respond to our experiences and the people in them with respect and friendliness, and put on a smile, just like we put on lipstick or a cap when it's chilly out. Some of life's decisions are simple. Let's relish them.

My first smile will be at me in the mirror today. If I savor it, it will set a good tone for the rest of the day.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

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February 7

The seed of God is in us. Pear seeds grow into pear trees, nut seeds into nut trees, and God seeds into God.
--Meister Eckhart

Often we may feel critical and judgmental about our maturity or personality. When we read we have God seeds within us, we may find that difficult to believe. How can we have the God seeds within us that other people have? It may seem everyone else has more good within them than we have.

Just as we admire certain qualities about other people, so can we admire qualities about ourselves. We need to remember a good critic looks at both the good and the bad. A good critic doesn't pass judgment, but merely assembles the facts to allow others to make judgments.

The seeds that grow pear trees don't yield perfect trees. Some of the fruit is ripe and juicy, some is hard and dry, some fruit never matures. Yet the pear tree will be a good tree if it's tended with care. So it is with us. Every part of us may not be perfect, but with care we can make the best person possible from the God seed that began us.

I can be a healthy, bountiful person if I give myself plenty of care. I won't give up on me.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

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February 8

Failure is impossible.
--Susan B. Anthony

Failure is an attitude. Having an attitude of failure can't help us. It can only hurt us. If we're not careful, it can grow into a way of life. So, when we feel like failures, we'd better look at our attitudes.

An attitude of failure often comes from making mistakes. But we can learn to see our mistakes as lessons. This turns mistakes into gains, not failures. Sometimes, we try to do things that just can't be done. When we act like we can control others, we're going to fail. When we act like we know everything, we're going to fail. If we try to act like God, we're going to fail.

We can't control others. We can't know everything. We're not God. We're human. If we act human, we've already won.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me to learn from my attitudes. Whatever the outcome, help me learn.

Action for the Day

Facing our past "failures" is the first step to learning from them. I'll talk to my sponsor about a past failure and the good that came from it.

You are reading from the book:

Keep It Simple by Anonymous

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February 9

Our Higher Power is in charge.

It's such a relief to give up our obsession to control, once we learn how. As we do to establish any new routine, we have to practice. In this case, we practice turning people and circumstances over to God. Our first reaction will be the familiar one, always. For so long we thought we had to be in charge. It's no wonder we felt crazy at times. We were trying to assure other people did the right thing, based on our perspective. Usually God, or they, had something else in mind.

Letting God hold the reins gives us a lot of extra time. We can narrow our focus to what we need to do today. And we can use our extra time to pray for the well-being of other people. Our payoff is feeling sane, peaceful, and rested at the end of each day.

I will enjoy the sanity of letting God take care of other people today. I'll just take care of myself.

You are reading from the book:

A Life of My Own by Karen Casey

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February 10

At 70, my dad is just like he was at 35 - only more so. It's frightening that the same thing could happen to me.
--Jerry Z.

More of the same gets more of the same. What we were given to practice, we practiced. What we practiced, we became. What we became, we are continuing to become - only more so - every day of our lives. We can do ourselves a favor by being aware of what we practice. Has the past taught us to withdraw? Think of how isolated we'll be twenty years from now! Have we practiced generalized distrust? Imagine how deep the roots of fear are growing.

But there's another side to that truth. If we practice finding beauty today, we'll find twice as much beauty tomorrow. If we work on forgiveness today, tomorrow we may be free of resentments. If we choose to relate rather than isolate, we can walk with friends through all the years that stretch before us. What will the future bring us? Whatever we have invested in it.

I pray for the wisdom to see my future as largely the work of my own hands and heart. I pray for the courage to take responsibility for choosing my own direction.

You are reading from the book:

Days of Healing, Days of Joy by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty

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February 11

If you do not express your own original ideas, if you do not listen to your own being, you will have betrayed yourself.
--Rollo May

Those of us who go around trying to be right and do everything right are likely to betray ourselves. We stifle our impulses and control our intuition because we can't be certain that we are correct. As a spiritual exercise, we could stop now and listen to our inner selves and state our own ideas. What comes out may break the illusion of perfection and free us to proceed with life.

We all have original ideas if we just notice them. What images come to mind while listening to music? What do our dreams tell us? New insights sometimes come by physical activity. Conversation with a friend can help lead us to our wisdom. Our growing strength in recovery requires that we listen to our own messages and then take some risks to express them.

Today, I will take risks by stating my ideas. I will stand up for myself by listening to my intuition.

You are reading from the book:

Touchstones by Anonymous

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February 12

Moving Forward

Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with us on this journey called recovery. We are not being disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We don't have to wait for those we love to decide to change as well.

Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to grow, even though the people we love are not ready to change. We may even need to leave people behind in their dysfunction or suffering because we cannot recover for them. We don't need to suffer with them.

It doesn't help.

It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping others is far greater when we detach, work on ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change with us.

Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while others seek their own path, is how we have the most beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We let them go, and let ourselves grow.

Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and change, even though someone I love may not be growing and changing alongside me.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

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February 13

People-Pleasing

For some of us, people-pleasing has become a way of getting our needs and wants met. But people-pleasing is manipulative and condescending. And it cheats us. When we are busy pleasing others, we are not being true to ourselves (nor those we are pleasing).

Rather than manipulating people, let us simply ask for what we need and want. We are all lovable and deserving, just as we are. We can truly please ourselves and others by simply being ourselves.

Do I ask honestly for what I want or need today?

Thought for the Day

The path to true connection is to be myself. The path to getting what I need is to ask for it.

You are reading from the book:

A Restful Mind by Mark Allen Zabawa

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February 14

Love, the magician, knows this little trick whereby two people walk in different directions yet always remain side by side.
--Hugh Prather

Destiny has its own course in each of our lives. And our movements with others who are special will thankfully be parallel at times. However, our paths will sharply intersect now and then and we'll even find ourselves at painful cross-purposes on occasion. But if the love we're expressing is part of God's plan for us and not just to satisfy the selfish ego, we'll not stray from one another's dream, though we may depart for brief periods of new growth.

We must fulfill our personal desires, vocationally and recreationally, if we are to successfully offer up our special talents for the goodness of humankind. And most assuredly that's why we're here - in this place - at this time - with these particular people.

Others cannot pull us from our true calling. If the love between us is real, it will free us and bless our direction - trusting our hearts will not be torn asunder.

The butterfly silently returns when the winds blow free.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

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February 15

To keep a lamp burning, we have to keep putting oil in it.
--Mother Teresa

Our spiritual nature must be nurtured. Prayer and meditation lovingly kindle the flame that guides us from within. Because we're human, we often let the flame flicker and perhaps go out. And then we sense the dreaded aloneness. Fortunately, some time away, perhaps even a few moments in quiet communion with God, rekindles the flame.

For most of us, the flame burned low, or not at all, for many years. The flickering we may feel today, or tomorrow, or felt yesterday, will not last, so we may put away our fears. We can listen to the voice of our higher power in others. We can listen, too, as we carry the message. Prayer surrounds us every moment. We can fuel our inner flame with the messages received from others. We can let our spirit spring forth; let it warm our hearts and the hearts of others.

We each have a friend whose flame may be flickering today. I will help my friend and thus myself. A steady flame can rekindle one that's flickering.

You are reading from the book:

Each Day a New Beginning by Karen Casey